Chapter Six #3
“Possessive fucker,” Luca mutters. Can’t say anything since I’m one of those too. I let it go and enjoy the cold air surrounding me for a moment.
After a few minutes, I turn and walk inside the living room again. I hear River talking. He’s sitting in a chair at the kitchen counter, coat still on–surely to cover his torn Henley–with Joel near him.
“I didn’t contact you because I thought you were better off without me, Joel.”
“How can you say that?” his little brother says vehemently, with Moretti standing near him.
“I’m in the yakuza, lil’ bro.”
“And I’m in love with a mafioso, River.”
“I can’t say I don’t see the appeal,” I interject, since I’m attracted to a criminal, as well. But River misunderstands, narrowing his eyes at me. Does he think I like Moretti? That’s preposterous. I had zero sex drive before he kissed me, and now I only get horny for him.
“What? Jealous, bunny?”
“Bunny?” Moretti makes a sound that almost resembles a snort.
“What’s really hysterical here is to think River sacrificed so much to keep Joel out of this dangerous life, and still, he ended up in love with a…thug who doesn’t even have manners. I thought Italian people were known to be welcoming folks.” I sniff.
“Not Marco,” Luca throws in from the balcony, he’s more interested in his phone than us.
“Sacrificed?” Joel repeats. “What do you mean? You said you moved with…Akira.” He butchers my name, but at least the spelling seems right.
“He paid for your eye surgery and gave money to that…old bat to keep you fed and give you a roof over your head,” I reveal, earning a growl from River. “He needs to know how far you went for him. The lengths you’re willing to go for him.”
“They told me the surgery was free since it was a novel surgical approac…” he lets the word fade. “Instead, you paid for it?”
“Yes, you can see again because of him.” Joel was blind as a child, but thanks to that surgery, he regained his sight.
“How did you know about the surgery in the first place? Did Miss Bailey keep in contact with you?”
“Yes. After she passed, I hired a P.I.,” River confesses. “I needed to know you were alright.”
“Your brother also pretended to be dead to keep you safe. He was afraid his line of work would put you at risk,” I add.
“Oh god,” Joel breathes out with a trembling voice.
Moretti slams two glasses of water on the counter in front of River—I gather one is for me—and then lifts an emotional Joel and sits in his chair with him on his lap.
I glare back at him, because tap water? This reinforces my opinion: the gangster has no fucking manners.
“You said you lived in-in LA until a few days ago. Did you…ever think of contacting me…directly?” River’s brother asks him hesitantly.
“All the time,” he trembly says, taking in a big breath before continuing.
“A year after you moved to Boston, I got very close to calling you. It was the night I almost died.” My eyes fall on the uneven skin on the back of his hand, and my thoughts go to the cigar burns on my back.
As usual, an instant wave of rage hits me, but I force myself to remember that we killed all the fuckers responsible.
“Hearing is the last sense to be lost when you are dying. Did you know that?” River continues.
Where is he going with this? “The day of the fire, when I was about to surrender to the pain and…my fate, I heard you, Joel, screaming my name at the top of your lungs. Begging me to fight. That’s how I got out of that warehouse, I followed the echo of your voice. ”
How many fucking things am I discovering today?
He never wanted to talk about the day he got those burns with me.
His brother, too, was kind of a no-go topic.
I had to force him at times to get information.
Still, I thought I knew everything about him, but only now, I start to see the hidden parts he kept for himself.
How much more am I unaware of? I don’t like this uncertainty between us.
It feels as if there’s an actual space dividing us.
Fuck that! I chew hard on my gum and plaster my front to his back and reach out to take River’s hand before his brother can.
Childish, but I’m a rich, spoiled, only child who lost both his parents at the same time and turned overly possessive toward the only important person in my life.
I need to stake my claim. I’m the one River stuck by all this time.
I’m his boss, his best friend, his lover. All me. While Joel is only his brother.
River looks at me, one brow cocked. He knows what I’m doing, and instead of pulling away, his thumb hooks with mine.
“I’m so glad you did, Riv.” Joel’s eyes are watery again.
He blinks a couple of times trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears in.
Then he grabs a humongous bag from the empty chair near him and places it on his legs, slides a hand inside, and starts rummaging.
He huffs and then tosses on the counter a small LGBTQ+ flag, a Moo Box, a nail clipper, and a pack of Kleenex.
The latter seems to be what he was looking for because he pulls a tissue out and wipes his teary eyes.
“Is that an apocalypse bag?” I ask, leaning over River’s shoulder to get a peek at the rest of the contents.
“In a way,” Moretti states, brushing his lips over Joel’s temple while at the same time pulling the bag toward them.
“Are you going to stay in touch with Fly now?” he asks River.
“Do you want me to?” River looks at his brother.
Joel’s loud and instant “yes” resounds in the living room; it makes me pout. I guess I’ll have to share a little part of River from now on. Kuso!
Moretti sighs, seemingly not happy either about the prospect.
“Next time I see you, you better keep that gun tucked away, or I won’t be responsible for my actions,” I tell him with a large hint of threat in my voice.
“Bring it on, my gold knuckles will love to make your acquaintance.”
“That sounds like fun. Looking forward to it.”
“Back off. I’m not going to pull back because you killed my father. You didn’t do it to help us. You were just following orders. I should just take Joel away from you. He was already kidnapped once while under your protection,” River hisses.
Moretti sniffs, tightening his arm around Joel. “I dare you try. Like living with you would be any different.”
“I’m not a kid. I decide where I want to be,” Joel declares, showing some claws.
“Marco, you and Fly are engaged, doesn’t that make River and Akira your family?” Luca teases the other mobster.
“Engaged?” River exclaims.
“Marco proposed a couple of hours ago,” Joel confesses with the happiest grin.
“Italian and Japanese mafia holding hands.” I let out a derisive laugh at that. “Not even in a million years.” Our values and methods are too different. We would clash too much.
“It’s unprecedented, but possible.” Joel’s naivety is too cute. He’ll be devoured in one gulp by Moretti. I should probably put a couple of men on him, just in case. Not that I care, but River would turn batshit crazy again if something happens to his little brother.
Moretti grunts but gives him another kiss, not in the least worried about showing his profound affection.
“Please tell me you top the asshole,” I tell Joel, letting my lips curve into an evil smile. He turns red with embarrassment, which tells me exactly his preference.
I can only imagine River’s face falling as he mutters, “Fucking hell!”
“Who wants a nice cup of affogato?” Joel suddenly claps his hands with too much enthusiasm—his cheeks are still crimson, but his beaming smile makes River laugh low and deep.
And I’m pissed all over again. “If you can make it matcha.”
Two hours later, we are walking out of the lobby, waiting for the taxi we called to arrive. It’s cold, but I feel warm inside.
Joel offered us some grappa, an Italian liquor with a percentage of alcohol so high, it is still burning inside my stomach.
Contrary to Moretti, River’s brother is the perfect host. It was awkward at first to spend time with them, but those guys are not as ignorant as I thought.
Mannerless and ungraceful, yes, but Moretti and Nero have quite a nice repertoire of bloody stories from work.
We exchanged some while River and Joel kept yapping non-stop about their past. It wasn’t a friendly talk—we kept using snappy comebacks and comparing our ruthlessness—but not a boring one either.
I want to see those gold knuckles Moretti kept prattling on about and in exchange I’ll show him my katana. Next time.
Joel kept showing flashes of a strong will from time to time, standing his ground against the gangster.
Also he promised me a couple of pieces of lingerie I wanted to purchase from his online shop.
Maybe it won’t be a complete headache to see them again.
But I’m still extremely irritated with River.
“It’s weird,” he suddenly voices. “I’ve been chasing my lil’ bro’s shadow for so long, and now—”
I don’t let him finish his annoyingly profound realization, because I need to spit some words out. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about Joel and all the fucking rest!” I clench the sword sheath in my palm, fuming.
“Everyone has a secret they want to deny or hide.” He sounds so damn flat. Where did all the emotions go? Did he leave them with his brother?
“Not between us, River.”
“That’s a fantasy.”
A taxi stops in front of us, and I walk with him to it. “Fuck you!”
“I did that already,” he has the nerve to say. He’s fucking teasing me about it now? Are his eyes sparkling?
“Bakayaro!” I get inside when River opens the door for me. “It has always been natural being around you, and now I feel fucking moths inside my belly.”
“Moths?” he asks, not getting in the car with me. Isn’t he coming?
“Yeah, because it’s weird and hot, you know, moth and flame.”
He snorts, and I see a tiny smile on his lips, enough to show me some teeth. Does he feel this happy because he saw Joel?
“Fucking hell, I don’t like it. I hate it,” I blurt out.
The smile drops from his face. He nods then closes the door and tells the taxi driver my address through the window.
I stay seated as the car starts moving. He thought my comment was related to how he makes me feel. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Then why didn’t I explain the misunderstanding? And why does my chest ache?