Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
July
The train has always been a necessary evil.
It’s loud and crowded and perpetually running late.
I’m never going to look at it the same way again.
Theo has me pinned in the corner on my tiptoes and lord help me, if there was room, I think I might wrap my legs around his waist. Right here on the train.
This, coming from a woman who can barely get the courage to speak to a man.
Before Theo, at least.
As he takes another long, groaning drag of my neck, his hands dragging around to my backside and kneading it like pizza dough, I realize I’m feeling sexy for the first time in my whole entire life. Even sort of…daring. Theo’s frankness when speaking about me and my body and his blatant hunger for it…it’s having an effect.
You’re the only woman who can get me hard or make me come. I think you know exactly what I want to do to you.
Judging by his prolific erection and the way he moans low and animalistic in his throat every time the train rocks him against my belly, I’d say he wants to come home with me. And take me to bed. Post haste.
Am I ready for that?
I didn’t even know this man before lunchtime.
He wasn’t even my scheduled date!
His mouth fastens beneath my ear and a rush of sticky heat presents itself between my thighs. Wetness round two of the day, all thanks to this man, who I barely know. But he’s a man I feel…something for.
Attraction, yes. Obviously. Serious, potent attraction. There’s something else, though, and it has manifested in my chest. Compassion for what he’s been through. Gratitude over his honesty. A growing fondness for his no-nonsense personality. Is it possible to be anything but blunt when one has been imprisoned for four years?
I’d do well to adopt more of his drive. Want something? Go get it.
If he presented an idea in front of a boardroom, best believe everyone would listen to this man who speaks with such conviction and experience. They’d be in awe.
Maybe he could show me his ways.
At first, that thought appears as more of a non-serious flight of fancy.
But it sticks.
I’ve only been in this man’s company twice and I’m already more confident in my appeal, my ability to be seen. What if he could give me the boost I need to walk into the boardroom on Friday and wow the clients…and Elsa, too?
“What are you thinking about?” Theo breathes in my ear. “I can practically hear the wheels turning. Also, your mouth is moving and no sound is coming out.”
“What? No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is. Are you mapping out plans in that beautiful head?” He rolls our foreheads together, his breath heavy on my mouth. “And how do I make sure they involve me?”
I don’t know.
That’s the answer that comes to mind. Three words I say a lot, even when I know exactly what I want, because I’m afraid to be pushy or seem too ambitious or a million different characteristics that people deem negative when applied to women. But Theo, he’s looking at me and waiting, because he truly wants to know what I’m thinking.
What I want.
“Um…”
Those eyes bore into mine. “What, baby?”
I take a deep breath. “I’ve never felt as capable and confident and…hot as I do than when you’re looking at me.”
I’ve caught him off guard, but he’s…pleased. Very pleased, his jaw flexing once, twice. “ Good .” He kisses my hairline. “Thank you for telling me that.”
Heat is sweeping me. This languid feeling that could only come from being nearly elevated off the ground with a six-foot-three Army special forces soldier memorizing my every breath. “I’m not going to have sex with you the day we meet, though,” I whisper, so the people around us don’t hear me. “I’m not the type to rush into things.”
“Not going to lie, I’m obsessed with being able to fuck you, July. I need it. Like yesterday .” His open mouth slides up and down my jawline. “But I don’t need to be inside you to come.”
“I noticed.”
He laughs, husky and warm into my neck and I laugh, too.
It’s the greatest intimacy I’ve ever shared with another human.
Foreplay and humor at the same time. It’s an instant hit with my entire body. Mind.
Heart.
“If I make you feel capable and confident and hot now, July,” he rasps, twisting a fist in the hem of my skirt. “Just wait until I start worshipping your pussy on my knees.”
“Yes,” I whisper, without thinking.
“Yes, what?” he says, pouncing on my consent. “Yes, you’ll let me lick it?”
This is getting overwhelming.
I’m growing drenched.
On the train. With this man I just met and this is so far out of my comfort zone, it isn’t even funny. I need to get a hold of the situation. I need it to make sense until I can categorize what I’m feeling for Theo. “I…think so, y—”
He cups a hand over my mouth. “On second thought, don’t answer that. I’m getting close to making a mess again.” He bares his teeth against my ear. “Jesus Christ, woman, the effect you have on me should be illegal.”
“Public indecency?” I half gasp, half laugh. “Pretty sure it is illegal.”
“Lock me up.” He half-grins. “As long as you’re locked in with me.”
Scary. So scary the way my heart elevates into my mouth. Set parameters. Make it make sense. Come back down to earth. Like, what if I’m being love bombed and I’m too experienced to recognize it? What if I’m being completely na?ve and the growing bond and deepening physical connection I feel for this man is a bad thing?
“Um…”
“Hmm.”
“What I was going to say is…I have this presentation on Friday and maybe, I don’t know, maybe you could help me? You’re so good at getting your point across and this-this confidence you have in me is a little contagious. And I sort of need that?”
He takes hold of both sides of my face and looks me in the eye. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, July.”
“Just be you…around me,” I say, meaning it. “And in exchange, I’ll…”
His eyebrows knit together. “You’ll what?”
I lower my voice and speak directly against his ear. “Well. You can only get…relief. With me. Right?” My face is on fire, but I keep going, knowing he won’t judge my idea. And honestly, I want this so badly, my desire gives me the final push I need to speak up. I enjoy being the only woman Theo’s body responds to. I enjoy being his wonder drug. I’ve never been that important to anyone. I like how his praise makes me feel. Powerful. Unique. Alive. “I’ll help you get that relief. When you need it.” I pull back to find his eyes have gone molten. “ Any time you need it.”
He's suddenly breathing like he’s run a thousand city blocks. “Starting tonight?”
I take the leap. “Starting tonight.”