29. Waverly
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
WAVERLY
I underestimated how big a part my nerves were going to play in this agreement.
Soft trembles vibrate through my body as Emmett leads me through the Scarlet Lounge and toward the private rooms.
I thought I knew what it meant to be anxious, but this is different. This isn’t being worried about not knowing where my next meal is coming from or how I’m going to pay my electricity bill. This is pure terror about handing my body to a man I don’t know very well and hoping he doesn’t break me for every man in the future.
It shouldn’t feel wrong to think about being with anyone after Emmett, but it does. Maybe it’s because the partners I’ve had in the past have meant nothing, and even as perfect strangers, I feel like Emmett sees me in a way no other man has. Or perhaps it’s because he knows what he’s doing. Even if he hasn’t practiced, even if all his experience is from watching alone, there’s no scenario where he doesn’t have me coming apart at his touch as soon as we step into that room.
His hand is firm against my lower back, pushing me forward even when my limbs feel heavy and uncertain.
What if this is a mistake?
What if I like being with him too much and then he leaves?
What happens when I have to run again?
The possibility of having to pack up my life and move across the country without a moment’s notice is always in the back of my mind, but for some reason taking this step with Emmett makes it harder to fathom.
We pause at the end of the hall in front of a door like all the others we’ve just walked past.
“Nothing happens that you don’t want,” Emmett reminds me, his thumb brushing over my back softly.
“I know,” I whisper.
The hand not pressed to my lower back reaches out and pushes the door open, giving me a few seconds to catch my breath before he steps forward, and I follow him without hesitation.
I’m starting to think I’d follow Emmett blindly to the end of the earth, and maybe that’s why I’m so fucking nervous.
My gaze darts around the room, taking in the huge four-poster bed in the center that could easily accommodate three or four people, the wall of spanking instruments, and the generously stocked side table of lube and condoms.
It’s exactly the same as the room Hannah showed me, but now that I’m about to use it, I’m seeing the crimson and black decor in a whole new light. It’s similar to the rest of the club, but somehow it seems more sinful in here with Emmett’s attention on me.
He takes my bag from me and drops it by the door before his arms wrap around my waist, tugging me back against his hard body.
His warmth comforts me despite how hard my heart beats in my chest, and I find myself relaxing against him despite myself.
“You’re tense,” he murmurs against the sensitive skin of my throat. “How about a massage?”
I look up at him and find him staring down at me with so much heat it steals my breath straight from my lungs, but I nod. It’s as if my body is moving on autopilot, and I’m just along for the ride.
He gently nudges me toward the edge of the bed, and I go willingly. The dull ache from my fall yesterday seems insignificant to the lust and panic swirling around one another in my chest.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been intimate with someone, but I don’t think that’s why I’m so anxious I can barely breathe. No, it’s entirely about the fact I’m about to be intimate with someone because I genuinely want to. It’s not to get me ahead, or to repay a favor, or even just to feel someone else’s touch after so long on my own.
No, being with Emmett is my choice, it’s something I craved with every breath I’ve taken since I met him.
Emmett’s fingers tease the hem of my dress, giving me a chance to stop him, but I couldn’t if I wanted to. I want everything he’s offering, even if I’m terrified to admit that to myself.
The soft fabric is pulled up slowly, uncovering my torso little by little as cool air brushes over my overheated skin.
His sharp intake of breath makes me look over my shoulder at him, and I find him staring at the bruising that’s bloomed across my side. Emmett drags my dress over my head, leaving me standing in a mismatched bra and panty set. Why didn’t I think of this when he asked me to play?
His fingers move gently over my bruised ribs, his eyes assessing for pain, but I’m too addicted to his touch to feel anything but need.
“If this hurts at any point, I want you to tell me immediately.”
I nod, but when he gives me a pointed look, I force myself to say, “I will.”
He assesses me for a moment longer before he uses one hand to unclip my bra. Instinctively, my arms fold over my chest. Have I ever been naked in front of a man? Every time I’ve been with someone, it’s been quick and dirty in the back of a car or behind a bar. It’s been an exercise in convenience rather than passion, and it’s left me completely unprepared for this moment.
A sharp pain flashes across my left ass cheek, and a surprised squeak escapes from my throat before I turn to Emmett with wide eyes. “What was that for?” I snap.
“That’s what you get for covering yourself.” He raises a brow at me and nods toward where my arms are still covering my chest.
I must not move quick enough for him because his palm connects with my ass for a second time, and I quickly drop my arms, leaving my breasts bare to him.
A deep rumble escapes his throat as he takes in the pebbled peaks, and I swallow heavily around the nerves that threaten to choke me.
“Lie on the bed, face down,” he commands, and I find myself obeying without hesitation. The satin sheets are cool beneath my hands and knees as I crawl into the center of the bed and carefully lower myself to the soft mattress. “Close your eyes.”
I suck in a breath and do as he says.
The sound of him moving around the room behind me makes it hard to keep my eyes closed, but I find myself sinking into the softness that surrounds me. Fuck, when was the last time I laid on anything other than my lumpy mattress at my apartment? Before I moved in, if I had to hazard a guess. And even then, my bed at my last place was a single mattress in what can only be described as a closet in a shared house, so I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it wasn’t comfortable.
I’m so distracted by my thoughts that I jolt when the mattress dips beside me, earning me a rough chuckle.
Emmett settles over the backs of my thighs, his bare legs brushing over mine. That’s what he was doing while I was contemplating whether this is the softest surface I’ve ever laid on. He was stripping.
I drag in a breath when his warm palms come down on my shoulders, and his strong thumbs knead into the tense muscles there.
“You’re tight,” he murmurs.
“That’s what she said,” I jest, and earn myself a deep laugh that surprises me as much as it satisfies my need to lighten this moment.
“Your muscles, Little Temptress.”
“I knew what you meant, I just wanted to hear you laugh.” I regret the words almost as soon as they escape my lips. Not because they’re not true, but because somehow that admission seems more intimate than everything we’ve said tonight.
But my worry eases when his answering smile tugs at his lips, telling me the admission may have been vulnerable, but it wasn’t unwelcome.
He works the muscles in my shoulders and upper back for long minutes, until I’m nothing but putty in his hands and my eyes are heavy and relaxed. Moments of peace are rare when you’re on the run, but that’s the only way I can describe this moment.
“Bend over for me,” he murmurs, his voice cutting through the otherwise quiet room as he nods to the leather bench at the end of the bed.
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and swallow heavily.
If I’m going to do this, I need to be all in, and I have a feeling once I cross this line, there won’t be any coming back from it.