Chapter 14
August
How much longer was I going to have to pace in front of this window before he started talking to me again? When he did, he’d better have one hell of an explanation for the flash of pain and terror that jumpstarted the mental link between us.
In brief but vivid images, I saw the sky from beneath the water, saw clouds and rain and then my vision had been obscured by water again. My throat had grown tight, and for a moment I’d felt like I was choking and had to grip the rail of the counter while I struggled to make my lungs work again.
That’s when I’d decided to head home, still confused about what the hell was going on in my head and why I was picking up on such terrifying images. As soon as I was inside, I called my mom and told her what I’d seen and felt. Her gasp scared me, as did her calm, controlled voice telling me to hang up with her and focus on my connection with him.
“That’s what it is, sweetheart,”
she said. “The link that joins you with him no matter where either of you might be. Something happened to kick it into overdrive so fast. In most instances it takes years to establish a long-range connection, let alone hold one long enough to hold a conversation.
After I did what she said and hung up, the first thing he did when I did establish contact was tell me that he couldn’t talk to me or explain what was going on at the moment. He hadn’t even been able to assure me that he was safe at first. He’d just hit me back with some lame ass bullshit about how he’d be safe soon. How was I supposed to know how long to assume soon was going to take? My shoulders ached and the back of my neck felt stiff, but every time I tried to sit down, I just found myself squirming in my seat, unable to focus on the television and too restless to stay still.
Pacing at least left me with a constantly changing view as I paused before each window to peer out at the ocean, looking to see any of the boats on the horizon. That’s what they’d do if anyone was seriously hurt, right, they’d rush back to port and get them to the hospital as soon as possible to give them the best chance at recovery?
I hoped that was right.
But I hoped even harder that if someone was hurt that it wasn’t Gregor. There were no lights anywhere on the horizon line, though. Just the occasional flash of lightning in the distance as the storm moved away.
Gregor? I thought, prodding at the link.
I’m here.
Are you free to talk yet?
Just about.
Let me know when you’re ready.
Two seconds, and I will be.
It took a little longer than two seconds but was still under a minute when I felt him inside my head, his rough voice rolling through my mind like he was right there whispering to me as we fell asleep.
I’m sorry I scared you earlier. I scared myself, too. It was an intense few minutes, but everything’s okay now.
A part of me is terrified to know what happened, while another part of me needs to know what happened so I can decide if it’s better or worse than all the things I’ve been picturing in my head.
I’m bruised, but I wasn’t hurt, Gregor explained. A rope wrapped around my arm, and I got yanked off the boat and into the water, but it’s not that cold this time of year and I wasn’t in it very long.
How the hell did that happen? I snapped.
I wasn’t paying as close attention as I should have been after I threw the hook we use to snag the line attached the buoy. I should have pulled my arm back faster, instead it got caught up. I’ve seen it happen before, just never had it happen to me.
Well I sure as hell hope it never happens to you again. I could see what it looked like underwater, like I was seeing it through your eyes. I could practically taste it; everything was so vivid. I did experience the sensation of drowning, and it wasn’t a pleasant one, so please, for the sake of my rapidly fraying nerves, don’t forget to pay attention anymore for the rest of the trip.
I won’t, I promise.
You are going to pay for nearly giving me a heart attack. I want you to know that and be prepared for when retribution comes for you, I declared. I’m giving you fair warning, but only because you nearly died today.
Not the way I normally go around collecting points, but I’ll take the V on that after almost drowning.
Okay, you can stop reminding me of that at any time now, please!
I was getting snappy, hissy, too, and I knew it. I felt him try to wrap around me in a great big mental hug, but that didn’t stop the image of him trapped beneath the waves from taking root inside my head.
Sorry.
You’d better be. You’re supposed to be helping me plan a life together, not looking for ways to scare years off mine.
I promise it wasn’t intentional. Does that help at least?
A little, I grumpily acknowledged.
I miss you.
Are you saying that because you truly miss me or are you trying to get the subject off what happened today?
A little of both.
Huffing, I crossed my arms, even if he couldn’t see it. Fine, I’ll let you have that one, too.
At least it was worth something.
Gregor… I warned, snarling through the link that connected us.
I know, I know, that was in poor form and much too soon. I’m sorry. I’ll wait awhile before I try to make light of it again.
How about you wait until never! I shot back, wishing that he was right there in front of me so I could shake him and make him swear never to make me feel that sudden onslaught of terror again.
Never will work for me, too, he replied, putting my soul at ease a little. I doubt my uncle will let me anywhere near the hook for the rest of the trip.
Again, I’d like to opt for the addition of a never option, I insisted.
I can’t promise that, he replied, but I can promise that I’ll never volunteer to throw it again.
I’ll take all the victories I can get, he replied. Even the tiny ones.
I felt his chuckle through our connection and was finally able to shut off the lights in the den and head upstairs. It would be the first time I’d sleep alone in our big bed, but I knew as well as anyone how important it was within family units that everyone pitched in when there was a need.
A hundred years ago, shifter communities had looked very different, and most of them had been so segregated that they never really evolved past tiny villages with a small number of families all so entwined that their family trees had such a sparce number of branches that it had led to several of them dying out. Those who learned to interact peacefully with others had begun to thrive again, until towns like this one and the one we came from had begun to crop up, the founding fathers proclaiming them safe spaces for shifters of every kind, as well as the humans who occasionally discovered that they had one of us for a mate.
Your things are still scheduled to arrive Saturday, correct? he asked, startling me from the soft hush that had begun to claim my mind now that my thoughts had slowed down.
Yeah, but I was thinking about calling and changing the date to next Saturday, since you won’t be here to supervise everything going in. I don’t want you to come home and be upset because one of the changes I made didn’t turn out the way you envisioned it.
Keep it for Saturday.
His voice cracked over me like a whip, sharp and firm. His tone, as it rumbled through my head, said to not even think about crossing him.
We’ve already discussed where everything is going to go, taken extensive measurements and shifted all of the furniture to make room for what is supposed to go in each spot, he said. There’s no reason to delay just because I won’t be there. It’s your home now, too, August. I trust that everything will go the way we discussed it.
I’d needed to hear him say that, because I hadn’t really wanted to change the date. I was excited to get my things moved in, for several reasons, one of which I decided it might be a good time to mention to him.
I missed my cycle, I blurted. I know it’s too early to speculate as to why that is, but I never miss a cycle and you just finished a rut, so I wanted to let you know that there is a possibility that we’ll have to discuss setting up a nursery sooner rather than later.
I received back only silence that stretched on for almost half a minute. I was afraid to poke at the link to try and prompt an answer, in case my announcement wasn’t being received in a positive way. His thoughts, when he did finally share his reaction, were accompanied by the same chuckle as when his lips were pressed to the nape of my neck.
Do you have a physician in town yet? he asked.
No. I hadn’t had the time to consider one, or the need, until now, I replied. My cousin Jasmine is expecting, though. I’ll ask her when I see her tomorrow who she’s been going to see.
Good. Let me know the moment you have an appointment set so I can put the date in my phone. I want to be there with you for that visit and any other ones that come after it if you are carrying whelps. I’m not going to be one of those guys who sees the first ultrasound third or fourth hand because he couldn’t be bothered to be there while it’s taking place. I want to be there with you so we can listen to their heartbeats together when we hear them for the first time.
My heart clenched and I buried my face in the pillow we shared and squeezed it as the scent of him filled my nose.
Gruff tuff wolverine shifter my ass. I’d landed myself a gruff tuff teddy bear was what I’d done, and I was thrilled to know that our hoglets would have such a good example of fatherhood to model themselves after as they were growing up. Ohh, if we had a baby wolverine or two, they were called whelps. I’d better make sure I knew the terminology for them, too, so I didn’t screw up and refer to the children in my litter the wrong way.
Children.
Child?
We were (maybe) going to be parents.
Oh shit, I didn’t have a clue about what I’d want them to call me, and we’d have to have a conversation about what he’d want to be called, too.
August, are you still awake?
I am, and I’ll get you the date and time as soon as I have one, I assured him.
Are you okay with this? he asked, shocking me again. I know that you’re just getting your shop up off the ground. With all that goes into making the candy each day, are you sure this is a good time for you to be carrying? I’ll understand if it’s not. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through with it because you think it’s what I would want you to do. I want us to both be on the same page if we’re going to do this.
I’m ready to face whatever changes we have to embrace, as long as you’re there so we can face them together, which means no more getting pulled off ships and nearly drowning, I admonished. You have to be extra careful now, mister, because if it turns out that I’m anything like my sister was when she was expecting, I’m going to be a demanding little hedgehog by the end.
Another chuckle washed over me.
Well, maybe not so little, I amended as I thought about how round and swollen my sister had been by the time she’d delivered her litter.
However you look while you’re making your demands, I’m sure you’ll still be the most amazing creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.
And there he went again, showing that all of that growly wolverine nature had just been for show. Okay, so I had to admit that there was definitely something to everyone’s claims that he was only like that with me. Even his mom had raised an eyebrow at me when he’d pulled out my chair at the dinner table last night when I’d finally gotten to go to supper at their house to meet his family.
They’d all been amazing, too, not much different from my family. They’d broken up into little clumps after the introductions had been made, and I’d been swept into a conversation about whether or not I felt that the town needed an art center that offered workshops in things like crocheting, quilting and basket weaving, so the arts weren’t lost and forgotten.
“You can go anywhere and look at pictures hanging on the wall,”
a man I thought had been introduced to me as Gregor’s Uncle Curtis, the captain of the ship he was on, declared. “People need the chance to pick up skills that don’t involve whatever job they’re working. Think of how creative people used to be just a few generations back. They made things themselves and when they couldn’t they traded something they could make for something they couldn’t. The whole concept of sharing knowledge and passing on tradition started to die out the moment we started trying to monotonize everything.”
I’d allowed myself to be swept along and had fully enjoyed the time spent getting to know them.
Once we know if you’re carrying or not, we can start talking about the spots you already mentioned would be nice spaces for nesting, he said, his voice beginning to lull me to sleep now. We’ll want to decide what furniture we want for their room as soon as possible, so I can get started making it, but we need to know which space we’ll be working with so we can decide what will fit where and if, ultimately, we need to have a special addition built on to create the perfect space for them to enter the world in.
You’d really go through another remodel on the house just to give me the perfect room to nest in?
Yes, though it’s more like I’d be doing it to give us the perfect space to nest in, he gently corrected. I plan to be in it as often as possible, even if it means cutting back on hours. My shelves are full enough for the time being, and I’ve got plenty of time to finish the commissions I’ve already accepted. I won’t take any new ones if we’re expecting. I want to spent time bonding with them before they arrive.
Whoa, slow down, you don’t have to reorganize your whole life yet, I cautioned. We don’t even know if I am pregnant yet. For all we know, I could have missed my cycle due to all of the excitement about meeting you. It could start up again next week and we’d have wasted energy on remodeling plans for nothing.
Not for nothing, he declared. If you aren’t pregnant now, you will be eventually, August. No matter what the doctor says, we can just look at this as a test run to see how prepared we are and what work we still need to do to get our home ready for any potential additions. I can’t wait to plan the perfect nesting space with you. Now, get some sleep. I can feel how sleepy you are and it’s just adding to how exhausted I feel. Miss you more than words, see you in three more sleeps.
Three more sleeps was three too long, but I was too tired to convey that thought to him, or anything else as I settled in to let sleep claim me. I was glad it had been another long, grueling day on my feet making candy. I was just tired enough not to miss the feel of his arm draped across me.
But my fingers missed it, and I finally had to roll the comforter down so I had enough pressure across my hips that I could pretend it was him. As I curled my fingers around the cloth, I pictured him with a baby hedgehog on one shoulder, and one of our children in their human form cuddled in his arms.
I couldn’t wait to see him in full on papa wolverine mode.
What a snarly cute view that would be.
If we were having hoglets and wolverine whelps, they were going to have so many new cousins to play with who’d be just about their age, since I had a sister and a brother who were pregnant, too.
Our family had really started to thrive again since we’d come here. While I thought about how lucky we were to have found this place, I couldn’t help but hope that it remained as lucky for the generations to come as it had been so far for us. In short, it had been life changing.