Chapter Sixteen
Elizabeth was relieved that her uncle excused her from the receiving line at the assembly, for though her ankle was healed and she was wearing her finest evening gown, she required the company of Marianne to bolster her confidence.
“Elinor would likely tell you to allow his behavior to guide your own,” Marianne said as the two women made a circuit of the ballroom. It was still early; the guests were trickling in and the dancing had not yet begun, and so they were afforded a measure of privacy.
“I am sure you are right, but I would not find such advice useful in my situation,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “How do I separate his behavior from what he must really be thinking? We have agreed to give every proper appearance of courtship; I am left wondering if I have once again been duped by my own deceit.”
“Surely you are wiser than that, Lizzy. With the letters, you may have been moved by the words of love written on the page, for it was a difficult time in your life and your heart yearned for solace. Do not equate that with the present circumstances, for they are entirely different.”
“I suppose you are right, Marianne. I have grown far too content with my life to be influenced by anything but the deepest of affection.”
“And the man himself is here before you! You have the advantage there, for you are clever enough to understand his looks and his behavior, beyond the performance. And I think you were not performing to anybody when you danced in the gazebo.”
Elizabeth smiled at her stepsister. “That is true. Indeed, when I reflect upon the recollections of our time together, the moments most dear to me did not unfold before an audience.”
“Then you are perfectly capable of discerning what is real and what is not – and therefore Elinor’s advice may yet serve you well. Let his behavior, and what you can glean of his true sentiments, be your guide. Take heart, my friend.”
“You attribute your own wisdom to Elinor, but you are the confidante I have needed at such a moment, Marianne.”
“Then I have not suffered for naught. I wish now that I had spoken my heart sooner to Willoughby, and spared myself many months of pining.”
“Perhaps I shall become a conspirator of Mrs. Jennings’ and dedicate myself to finding you the same happiness, if I am to find mine with Mr. Darcy after all.”
“That is not funny, Lizzy! To my chagrin, she was not at all vexed by the spectacle of myself I made with Sir Sidney at the picnic, yesterday – she and Lady Denham have agreed that I might be the fair maiden who reforms him – have you ever heard anything worse? Only Mrs. Knightley is on my side, and says that if gentlemen are selfish enough to behave so very badly, they ought to take the trouble of reforming themselves, and spare us ladies the bother of it, for we have endured enough.”
Elizabeth chuckled. “I like Mrs. Knightley very well for such a bold opinion.”
“I like her, too, though I was not best pleased to hear that she and Mrs. Jennings and Lady Denham have all contrived a wager on who can make the most matches in Sanditon this summer.”
“You poor creature, however shall you bear the well wishes of your friends?”
“I heard my name,” Mrs. Knightley cried, hastening over to them while balancing three glasses of champagne in her hands. “Here, I brought these for us. Well, Miss Bennet, I commend you on your success in absolutely torturing Miss de Bourgh – and I daresay Mr. Darcy, too.”
“I must remind you, my little scheme with Mr. Darcy may lose its efficacy if Miss de Bough were to hear of it,” Elizabeth said, not yet ready for the pretense to be stripped away. One more night.
“You may be assured of my discretion. I will only say that I know of your plan and am still convinced of the affection between you and your faux beau . Either you are both excellent performers, or I shall soon be wishing you joy.”
Elizabeth sighed. That was certainly the crux of it, and she would soon have her answer. But first, she would have a night filled with every blissful moment of romance she could manage with Mr. Darcy, and whatever happened after, she knew it would be an evening she could look back on fondly.
When the guests of Sandpiper Cottage arrived, Georgiana rushed to join the three ladies in a flutter of golden silk and lace, and they lavished her with heartfelt praise. Marianne was enchanted by the thin strands of lustrous pearls wound through Georgiana’s voluminous flaxen curls. Mrs. Knightley, who bid them all address her as Emma, was eloquent in her effusions over the sparkling sheen of Georgiana’s flawlessly tailored gown.
Elizabeth regarded her friend of a mere fortnight as if Georgiana were her own sister, feeling tears prick her eyes at the sight of such joy radiating from the girl’s lovely countenance. And then she glanced over and saw Mr. Darcy watching from afar, his gaze transfixed and a euphoric smile on his lips as he relished the sight of his sister so cherished. The man truly had the kindest heart.
And then he met her eye and his smile became resplendent. He gave a slight bow and then rested a hand over his heart as he stared at her. Elizabeth felt a rush of heat ripple through her body. And Anne de Bourgh was nowhere in sight.
Mr. Darcy might have come to speak with her, but he was approached by Sir Edward, and Elizabeth could not lament that her uncle thought so well of the man she loved. When she turned her attention back to her companions, Marianne had made an ally of rallying against Emma’s matchmaking wager.
“I cannot think my brother would approve, should you intend to include me in your efforts.”
“You appear to have things well in hand with your Mr. Marsh – you do not need me.”
“Oh, no, Emma! Mr. Marsh is just a friend. He is very interesting, that is all. He is more of a tutor than a suitor.”
Marianne laughed. “How cleverly put – you should tell that one to Mrs. Bevan!”
“I have given her my own little phrase, the faux beau, ” Emma said with a sly glance at Elizabeth.
It occurred to Elizabeth that when she had protested her feelings for Mr. Darcy, not one person believed her, yet Georgiana’s dismissal of Mr. Marsh was instantly accepted. Still, her words had indeed rung true, for Georgiana seemed unbothered.
“But I have plans for your cousin,” Emma said. “I took your advice, Georgiana, and asked my husband to write to Colonel Campbell. He is in London, attending to some matters of business on Miss Fairfax’s behalf, and so we received a speedy reply. He is indeed acquainted with your cousin.”
“Perhaps he and his ward might wish to visit Sanditon?” Georgiana grinned at Emma.
“Oh, not you, too!” Marianne groaned. “Well, if it will prevent you from pushing the poor colonel at me , I suppose I shall not complain. But I am no heiress; this alone must keep me safe.”
Behind them, a gentleman cleared his throat. Mr. Darcy had come to claim his partner for the opening set. Beside him were Mr. Knightley, Mr. Marsh, and Colonel Fitzwilliam, who grinned at Marianne. “Come, Miss Dashwood, we are not too tragically impoverished to look very fine dancing together. Better to get it over with, and then you will be quite safe from me.”
As they joined the dance, Mr. Darcy again smiled at Elizabeth. “I intend to astonish you, by being the first between ourselves to make a jest about the astonishingly good omen of being overheard speaking boorishly at an assembly.”
Elizabeth sputtered with laughter. “And I had intended to muse upon just how long your cousin is entitled to make japes amongst his friends about the sting of such a preposterous rejection.”
“I am more inclined to ponder what measure of time may be required before the reversal of such an ill opinion is made known to everybody.”
They spun with the other dancers, and Elizabeth took a moment to indulge in private elation at his flirting. When the movements of the dance brought them together again, she peered up at him with a mischievous grin. “And how long might such a transformation take? We have only a summer.”
“Oh, that is all the time in the world,” Mr. Darcy said breathlessly as they whirled again.
Elizabeth felt as if she were floating as his words washed over her. Perhaps it may be the truth; perhaps she did not have only this one final night of reveling in Mr. Darcy’s affection.
She forced away her doubts and recriminations of the past, and gave herself over to the sheer delight of dancing. There was enough excitement in the throng of dancers around them, and even in the crowd of onlookers, that it was an effortless joy to become swept up in what was passing. The music swelled, candlelight bathed the dancers in a warm glow, and everything was bliss.
Elizabeth danced with Mr. Marsh, the colonel, Sir Thomas, and Mr. Knightley. Mr. Darcy remained near her for those four sets, standing up with her friends and dancing as near to her as he could manage.
She did not often look around to ascertain if Miss de Bourgh was observing them, nor did she ever see Mr. Darcy do so. They watched each other, smiling with their friends and yet feeling, for her part at least, as if they were the only two people in the room. She was all laughter and elation, for it all felt so wonderfully genuine.
Elizabeth had run out of partners when it occurred to her that she had not seen the Bingleys yet. She began to wander the ballroom in search of them, and embraced her sister when she finally found her.
Jane giggled, staggering a little in surprise. “My goodness, Lizzy! You must be enjoying yourself, you are flushed and utterly lovely, but I can guess what put such a smile on your face. I saw you as Charles and I arrived, all eyes for a certain someone.”
“Oh, Jane,” Elizabeth cried, so rapturous that she was ready to confess the truth of it all to her sister. “I am in love with him and I believe he loves me, too.”
“I knew it! Charlotte said that if you were indeed giving such a convincing performance, she would drag you to London and put you on the stage herself. I am so happy for you! But you must tell me everything.”
“Mr. Bingley looks ready to dance,” Elizabeth said, gesturing to her brother-in-law, who was smoldering at his wife as he made his way through the crowd. “I should not have thought him one to be so tardy to an evening of such frivolity.”
Jane blushed. “He received some remarkable advice from Sir Sidney yesterday which required his attention, and we were detained in leaving the townhouse.”
The only time Elizabeth had seen Mr. Bingley speaking with Sir Sidney at the picnic was when the rascal had been attacking Mr. Horne in a manner that had reminded her of the livestock at Longbourn. Mortified, she urged Jane to join the dance and hastened away, certain she could not meet Mr. Bingley’s eye with equanimity.
Elizabeth had no partner for the set that was forming, for the ladies outnumbered the gentlemen that evening, a disparity she heard loudly lamented by Mrs. Jennings as she milled through the throng of people. Miss de Bourgh, slighted by Sir Sidney in favor of Miss Denham for most of the evening, had been obliged to stand up with her maid, and Marianne was merrily partnering Mrs. Bevan.
Georgiana was not dancing either, and after a quarter hour of meandering through the crowd, amiably greeting the guests she was especially fond of, Elizabeth sought out her friend. Or rather, Georgiana approached her in great haste, and Elizabeth went to her with alacrity.
“Are you unwell, Georgiana? Shall I get you some refreshment? Has something happened?”
Georgiana wrung her hands. “Is there someplace we might speak privately?”
“Of course. The doors to the terrace have been opened, and some air would do you good anyhow.”
They linked their arms and hastened outdoors. The terrace was well lit by torches, and blessedly empty. A smaller version of the fountain that graced the central courtyard sat at the end of the terrace, and Elizabeth urged her friend to sit down beside her on the cool stone bench that encircled it.
“Take a moment to calm yourself. When you are ready, I should be glad to hear what has you in such a state.”
Georgiana nodded. “I cannot wait another moment, but I must tell you something terribly dreadful, and I am sure you shall hate me for it!”
Elizabeth’s stomach lurched, fearing Georgian’s distress may relate to her brother. “I could never hate you, no matter what. I promise it.”
“Very well, but I shall have to beg your forgiveness – oh, Lizzy!” Georgiana drew in a shaky breath and slowly released it. “Lady Catherine overheard you tell your sister that you are in love with my brother. I… I know you and William are pretending, but I cannot think that you would feel the need to be false to your own sister, when so many others know the truth.”
Elizabeth winced. She had been so carried away by her joyful sentiments that she had not considered she would be overheard. Indeed, she had been wildly indiscreet from the very beginning. “I was not pretending with Jane.”
Georgiana smiled wistfully. “You really love him?”
“I do, Georgiana.”
The girl’s face crumpled. “I feared as much. I… I know that Lady Catherine overheard you, because then I overheard her . She was speaking to Anne about it – lecturing her very severely. She said some very unkind things about you, which I shall not repeat. Anne, of course, was just as horrid. She said that she does not wish my brother to fall prey to an upstart fortune hunter dependent upon an uncle in trade, even though she does not want him for herself.”
“Good heavens! I wonder what Lady Catherine must have said that you would not repeat, if you can recount your cousin’s words!” Elizabeth attempted a satirical smile but braced herself for more distressing revelations.
“When Anne stormed away, I confronted my aunt; I wanted to defend you, Lizzy. I told her that my brother would be the luckiest, happiest man in the world if you were to return his love.” Georgiana clasped Elizabeth’s hands in her own. “I meant it, truly. I know it is more than a charade for him; he speaks of nothing but you and scarcely notices Anne anymore. I believe he feels nothing more than pity and contempt for her now.”
Elizabeth sucked in a sharp breath and held it for a moment. “Do you really believe he loves me?”
Georgiana looked away, shaking her head. “What I know is that it is not Anne who stands between you but my aunt – and, unfortunately, my own folly.”
“Why should your quarreling with Lady Catherine matter?”
When Georgiana finally looked back at Elizabeth, her expression was haunted and half wild. “She knows about – what I did – about the babe – about how my brother covered it all up. She has always known. From the very beginning, she forced him into the engagement. Anne’s feelings mean nothing to her. She fears my cousin attaining her majority. If William and Anne are not wed before then, she will tell the world of my shame.”
Elizabeth rested her hand on the cool stone of the bench to steady herself. Everything she had felt that evening and the day before came collapsing down around her, and she stared blankly at the ebbing water. She had wanted an end to the pretense, fool that she was, and now she wished it all back again.
“It is all my fault,” Georgiana lamented. “I hoped you and William would fall in love, truly in love. And now I believe you both have, and I am the only remaining obstacle. I have been so foolish!”
“I will not hear such talk,” Elizabeth said warmly. “You have become a dear friend, and I cannot tell you how it eases the pain in my heart to hear that you believe your brother loves me, as I do him. At least this time, I shall have the peace of knowing I was truly loved, even if he must choose another.”
“This time?” Georgiana sniffled and dabbed at her eyes.
“I loved a man once before. He, too, married another, but I believe he loved her all along. What existed between us was a mere illusion, all my own foolishness. You may imagine how silly I feel entering into this unusual arrangement after such heartbreak; I ought to have known better. And yet I cannot repine; I am glad that I have made memories this last fortnight that I will cherish forever.”
Georgiana sobbed into her hands, murmuring unintelligibly. When she collected herself, she squared her shoulders as she addressed Elizabeth. “I will not stand in the way of your happiness, yours and William’s. My conscience will not permit it, when my own transgression is the cause of this dreadful mess. Let Lady Catherine do what she will, and sink the rest of our family with me.”
Elizabeth smiled sadly. “You cannot mean that. It is a generous sentiment, but I have a conscience, too, and I will not let you sacrifice your own reputation – and you must know it would not only be yours that suffered if such knowledge was made public.”
“And so we shall both injure William in our contest to be the most noble?”
“No, dearest. We shall be as we were a fortnight ago, and life will go on. You and I shall always be the dearest of friends, and your brother will be a happy memory for me when I am a spinster with no suitors left, not even the odious Sir Anthony. And your brother will forget me when his true love is returned to him. He has loved Miss de Bourgh for quite some time, and that love will return once I am no longer a distraction. She is very near to throwing over Sir Sidney, so she must be regaining her senses already.”
“How can you bear it, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth shut her eyes and turned her face away as she battled with herself. How could she bear it? But she must. She had steeled herself for the worst even as she hoped to have her heart’s dearest wish granted. And now she must commit to that resolve and let him go. But first, she would savor the remainder of the evening. It was all she had left.