Chapter 4 - Hyacinth
My thoughts are reeling as shock piles on top of shock. The information is simply coming too fast for me to follow, and I can feel my belief stretching again.
Trina puts her arm around my shoulders and gives me a comforting squeeze, but my focus is still on Sadie and Shane. They are staring at each other with a cold purpose that could easily turn hostile, at least from my perspective.
What’s going on here? Aren’t they on the same side?
Eventually, Shane looks away, and I see a flash of doubt cross his face before he turns and looks at me, his eyes dark and troubled.
Shit. Even he doesn’t know if he’s done the right thing.
“Are you okay?” Trina asks, rubbing my arm and leaning into me. A familiar sense of social pleasantries rises in me, and I feel the urge to simply answer “I’m fine” even though I’m really not.
I shake my head, trying to speak, but my throat is closing in fear. Even if I could talk, my mind is racing so hard, I don’t even know what I’d say.
Let me get this straight… people are actually dying. From a real curse. If I stay, people could die. But if I leave, then they definitely do?
“Hyacinth,” Sadie says, her voice low as if she doesn’t want to startle me. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
It doesn’t sound like a command, but I have to wonder if there’s magic in it because my thoughts begin to clear immediately and my muscles relax enough that I can breathe again. And hopefully, talk.
“I don’t believe any of this,” I blurt out, and it’s the absolute truth of my heart. “I saw you do your thing with the leaves… maybe it was just a lucky coincidence. The more I hear about this, the worse it sounds. At the moment, it still makes much more sense that you’re all fucking lunatics.”
Trina laughs softly, hugging me again, and Sadie smiles.
“I’ll happily show you a bit more, but I think you’re at a point now where your mind will reject anything,” Sadie says. “Even if you can’t reason it out, you’ll just dismiss it.”
“If Shane could shift, that would help a lot,” Trina says. “Seeing Owen shift the first time blew my fucking mind.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Shane says through gritted teeth. “I didn’t know I was going to be required to perform like a circus dog.”
“Shane,” Sadie replies soothingly. “No one is blaming you.”
“Sounds like you are,” he mutters.
“Okay, Trina, let’s do another demonstration, shall we?” Sadie asks.
Trina nods and goes to stand in front of her.
Sadie smiles, and Trina smiles back. A strange sensation fills the air, as if I’m standing under a feather-light curtain and it’s softly tickling my skin.
The feeling increases until it’s almost like the air is humming with electricity, but it’s a pleasant sensation, not uncomfortable.
Trina and Sadie both turn their heads up to the sky, stretching out their arms.
Suddenly, dozens of fireflies appear around them.
The little bugs dance, and I quickly realize their movements aren’t random.
They are making actual shapes—circles, triangles, stars—tracing them in the air around the two women.
Soon, the sparkling lines begin to make me feel dizzy, and I have to step back and close my eyes.
“Okay, okay,” I say, holding up my hands. “Enough. I get it. There’s no way fireflies could do that on their own. You’re right, Sadie. My brain is trying to reject it, but I can’t forget the perfectly symmetrical shapes. It’s just too weird.”
“Good,” Sadie says, dismissing the bugs with a brief wave of her hand. “It will take several days for you to come to grips with it. I need you to understand, Hyacinth, this is a very delicate situation we have here.”
“No kidding,” I say. “Apparently, people’s lives are in danger, and it’s all on me.”
“Well, not entirely that,” Sadie says, looking uncomfortable. “You’re going to be part of our world for a while—too long to simply wipe your memory. If we have to break the bond between you and Shane, it will be almost impossible to return to your old life.”
A new fear bubbles in my stomach, threatening to rise up and consume me. “What do you mean?” I ask, my voice trembling.
“She means you’ll be sworn to secrecy—maybe even spelled,” Shane says, coming over to grab my arm. “You’ll have to stay quiet about everything you know, or…”
“Or what?” I snap, looking up at him in disbelief. I want to shake his hand off my arm, but something about his proximity feels good, and that scares me more than the topic of our conversation.
“Don’t worry,” Sadie says. “Shane, stop scaring her. It’s unnecessary.”
“I was just—”
“I know. But that’s enough.”
Shane turns and glares at her, and Sadie meets his eyes evenly. I can sense the turmoil in Shane, that he really doesn’t trust her. And maybe doesn’t even like her.
A lot to unpack there.
“We should wrap this up,” Trina says. “None of us can think clearly under these conditions. We should tackle it in the morning.”
“Agreed,” Sadie sighs. “I need to talk to Rhys, anyway.”
Shane’s hand tightens on my arm a little, and a cold light shimmers in his eyes. I thought all the guys were best friends, but something about Shane’s reaction tells me something has gone wrong between them.
I don’t care. Just get me out of here.
“Okay,” I say, moving back in an attempt to extract myself from Shane. “If one of you could just give me a ride home, or back to my car—”
“No,” Trina and Sadie reply, almost in perfect unison.
“What?” I ask, feeling a cold hand of fear grab me by the throat.
“You have to stay with Shane,” Trina says. “At least for now. We can talk to the council tomorrow, maybe do some research. The thing is, the only way to figure out if you’re right for this is for the two of you to stay near each other.”
“Yes,” Sadie agrees. “I’m sorry, Hyacinth, but it’s true. We won’t find out anything if the two of you are miles apart.”
I look around at the three of them, waiting for one of them to tell me they’re joking, but nobody even blinks.
“Come on,” Shane says, taking my hand. “Let’s get going.”
“Trina!” I cry, trying to pull my hand out of Shane’s. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’ll be there first thing in the morning,” Trina says. “You’ll be safe—I promise you. Try to get some rest.”
“Rest!” I exclaim, fear turning swiftly to anger. I want to argue, but Shane pushes ahead, holding on to my hand and forcing me to follow him.
We push through the woods, neither one of us talking. I feel trapped and helpless, and it’s far worse than being taken prisoner because I know I can’t run away.
If they chained me up, that would make sense, and I could just be angry. Now that I’ve decided to stay, the only one I can be angry with is myself!
When we reach Shane’s car, he opens the door for me.
I hesitate just for a second. When he frowns, I roll my eyes and get in, folding my arms and staring straight ahead.
When he gets in the driver’s seat, I expect him to say something, but he doesn’t.
He just puts the car in gear and pulls away from the curb, not even looking at me.
At first, the silence is tense, but eventually it begins to soothe me. Combined with the movement of the car and the flicker of streetlights above us, I actually start to relax.
These people who are sick, I wonder who they are. Will I meet them soon? What the hell goes on in a wolf pack, anyway?
A little laugh slips through my lips, and I shake my head. Shane looks over at me sharply.
“Something funny?”
“Not especially,” I reply. “I was just contemplating the ridiculousness of being kidnapped by a werewolf.”
“How do you think I feel?” Shane mutters. “This isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”
“Sure, yeah,” I shoot back, a little agitated. “Go ahead and tell me how hard this is for you, when I’m the one making all the sacrifices.”
He doesn’t immediately reply, and when I look over, there’s just a hint of a smile on his face.
“You’re a firecracker, aren’t you?” he says. “You really won’t let me get away with anything.”
“Got that right,” I mumble, sitting back in my chair and crossing my arms even more tightly.
Something about that exchange felt very good, but I have to watch myself. My mind might do anything to comfort me and help me make sense of this—even feeling affection for Shane. I have to stay clear-headed.
“Okay,” Shane says, pulling the car into a quiet street. “This is my place.”
As we stop in the driveway, I look up at the little house, surprised by how neat it is. Shane looks like the kind of guy who lets the weeds grow wild and the paint peel, but the house is extremely well cared for.
I shrink back in my seat a bit more, the full reality of the situation settling on me. Once I go inside, our union is sealed, and I’m his bride.
No, no, no! Not again, I can’t do this again—
“Hyacinth?” Shane says, opening my door. “Are you okay?”
I jump a little, not realizing he’d gotten out of the car while my mind was wandering. He holds out his hand, and I take it hesitantly, letting him lead me towards the house.
Am I doomed to repeat the same actions? This time, it wasn’t my fault! I didn’t do anything at all, but here I am, trapped again.
Shane unlocks the door, and we go inside. I see it’s just as orderly in here as it is outside. I expected Shane’s house to be like his car—falling apart, dirty, and barely serviceable.
“Come on,” he says, taking my hand again. I let him lead me up the hallway to a small room with a narrow camp bed in the corner.
“You can sleep here,” he says. “Unless you want to share my room.”
“No, thank you,” I say emphatically.
He shrugs. “The girls said we should stay close to each other.”
“No one said it had to be that close.”
Shane sighs and rubs his neck awkwardly as he looks at the floor. I get the horrible feeling he knows something more about this—that it is actually necessary for us to share a bed.
No. No fucking way.
Time seems to roll to a soft halt, and a moment of calm settles over us.
As I watch him struggle to think of what to say, I can’t stop looking at him.
Now that we’re standing in better light, I can see his pale blond hair contrasting starkly against his tanned skin, and when he finally looks up at me, his eyes are a shimmering pale blue, like an endless summer sky.
“There is something to that,” he says, breaking the moment. “But I don’t think we should talk about it yet. I don’t even know that much about it.”
“Okay,” I respond, trying so hard to figure out my own emotions, I’m not really listening to him.
I am attracted to him, and that sucks. After everything that’s happened tonight, I can’t believe I still feel this way, but what did I really expect? This has always been my problem.
The dark wave of memories rises in my mind, a giant tsunami that threatens to break across my thoughts and completely destroy me. Every triumph I’ve made since I put all of that behind me suddenly looks weak, more like bravado than strength.
You’re pathetic, Hyacinth, the dreadful voice says. You always have been, and you always will be. Your only purpose is to serve me. That’s the only time you actually matter.
My heart twists in my chest, and my throat closes as if the past has come alive to literally choke me. I stumble back from Shane, grabbing my neck as if there’s a physical grip there I can break.
“Hyacinth?” he says, his eyes troubled. “Are you okay?”
No.
“Yes,” I mumble, trying not to cry. “I’m fine. I just want to sleep.”
“Okay,” he says, hovering in the doorway. I glare at him, my arms wrapped protectively around my body.
Get out, just go! Please just go away!
“Alright,” he says, stepping back. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
He stands there awkwardly for another couple of seconds, then shrugs and steps back, closing the door behind him. I stagger over to the narrow little camp bed and fall into it, wrapping the sleeping bag around me as I curl up into a tight little ball.
I have to keep a clear head. I can’t let it happen again, no matter what!
Even though I’m completely exhausted, I can’t relax, and I stay curled up under the sleeping bag for a long time, barely even breathing as I try to empty my mind and forget my past.
It might be better to remember it, I remind myself. That might be the only way to stop it from happening again.