Chapter 16 – Freya
Silence stretched between us. Anna stood behind me, gently dragging the hairbrush through my hair, and I picked at my fingernails, refusing to look up at the mirror. I didn’t want to see the pity her eyes held for me. I didn’t want any pity at all. What I wanted was freedom, and he had made it clear that was not an option.
“You are prettier when you smile.”
I huffed. Moping was better without having to join a conversation. Maybe if I ignored her long enough, she’d get the hint that I wasn’t up for it.
“Talking helps.”
Sad to say, she didn’t catch the hint.
I dropped my fingers and reluctantly looked at her through the mirror. Her sympathetic smile widened, and I felt like a daughter being consoled by a mother. It made me want to cry and shut the door at the same time.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
Her shoulders made an innocent movement. “How?”
“Like I’m going through the worst thing in the world.”
Her voice was quiet when she responded, her Russian accent much thicker. “I think that you are. Horrible, horrible thing you experience. I wouldn’t think I survive. You are a survivor. Strong, pretty, brave, young. From the first day Arlo and Anatoly bundled you in, I admire you.”
At that point, I wasn’t sure if she was trying to console me or be sarcastic. Possibly a bit of both, but none of it was helping.
I scoffed. “You’re young, too, and pretty. And we’re both stuck here, so there’s not much difference between us.”
Anna gave an airy laugh. “You are twenty-two, no? I think I have seen life more than you, and I am not stuck. I work here, for the king.”
When I snorted, she laughed. “Tell me. You look like you have a lot on your mind. Share?”
She was right. I had many thoughts running through my mind, but I would have started by saying I deeply missed my dad. I missed having a normal life, where things were ordinary and sometimes boring, and I knew Mila as the innocent, scorned colleague who was timely with my cup of macchiato every morning and not as the woman who’d betrayed me and John.
It hurt.
God , it hurt so much.
I tried to fill my mind with other thoughts to numb the pain.
If I could turn back the hands of time, I’d have never gotten involved in the Yezhov case.
Anna was still patiently waiting for feedback, so I faced her.
“How can you work for a man like him? A man so dangerous, dark, and evil.” I clenched my teeth, feeling the anger return. “Despicable. He’s an asshole—the biggest asshole I’ve ever met—and you’re, like, the nicest person here. Although you haven’t been very chatty up until now, it’s clear you have a good heart.”
A sad smile curved her lips, and the brush slowly went down my hair. “You would not understand. Korol …he is not that bad. I was stray. Sixteen, alone, on the streets of Moscow. And, if you know anything about the streets of Moscow, you’d know it is no place for a teenage girl. He pick me up, offer me job. Plus, a bed and house to stay in with his family, and never even one day, you know…touch me. Korol show me respect. I show him respect and gratitude, too. I marry at twenty-one. He help me and my husband. We work for him, for long now.”
Hearing her reminded me of the horror Anatoly had gone through, and it made me wonder if his story was similar to hers, about Egor being generous enough to show kindness. Was it something he was even capable of?
The blank look on my face must have told her I wasn’t buying it. She gave an apologetic smile and shook her head.
“Forget korol for a minute. Think about baby.” She smiled at me and, in a fleeting moment, appeared a lot younger. The pure joy reaching up to her eyes was genuine. “Me? I have two babies. Eisley and Andra. The sweetest things you would meet. I remember first pregnancy, with Eisley. There were, uh,” her tongue clicked, like she was thinking of how best to explain it, “good and bad sides. Pregnancy changes a woman. Sometimes, it is pleasant. Sometimes, it is not. With Andra, the process was more bearable. I didn’t retch much.”
“You mean morning sickness?” I encouraged her.
“Ya!” She laughed, sounding cute. It made me relax and watch her as she started putting my hair in a braided pigtail. “That part, I never liked. But Alexei, my husband, was supportive. Don’t think too much. You might enjoy the process.”
She was trying to be positive, but I wasn’t seeing anything positive about being pregnant with his child. As far as I was concerned, this was a curse, and the rest of my life was doomsday.
“You’ve done nothing but prove me right, Anna. You’re strong, stronger than I ever thought myself to be. You’ve faced so many terrible things, and look at you, seeing a bright side to a situation as grim as this one. I don’t know how you do it, but....”
My voice broke, and a teardrop spilled from my eye. I wiped it away with a sniffle.
“I’m not ready. I’m not ready for this responsibility.” I twisted on the seat, glancing at her over my shoulder. “He would have killed me, Anna, if it weren’t for your timely intervention. I would be gone, wasted, and he’d have discarded me like filth. I don’t...I don’t deserve any of this, not his cruel treatment toward me or any of that.”
Before Anna could say another word, speaking of the devil, he barged right in, with one hand stuck in his pocket, and ordered Anna to leave.
Obedient as she was, she nodded, shot me an encouraging glance, and shut the door behind her.
I moved as far away from him as possible, and he assessed me with a guarded expression. Today, he was calmer and more chill, like the first time we met, but he didn’t wear a smug grin or a smile. Meaning he was still pissed. And so was I.
“Have you come here to try and kill me again?”
Egor raised a brow as if I’d said the most stupid thing and then went on to say, “On the contrary, no. If I wanted you dead, I would have done that yesterday. Lucky for you, I’ve changed my mind.”
“Lucky for me. What, then, have you decided?”
“The only logical thing possible.”
“And that would be what?”
His long legs strode forward, covering the space keeping us apart. When I looked up, I saw nothing but an empty void in his eyes, which reminded me of a black hole. He had no feelings, no emotion. He just stared, and it was scarier than his anger.
“Considering the current situation of things—”
“You mean my pregnancy? Are you scared of saying it out loud? Scared that it’s only going to make it more real for you?”
“Maybe you should just shut up and listen. Sometimes, I think you enjoy the sound of your own voice. As I was saying, you are going to take your place by my side and carry my child.”
“ Take my place by your side....” A dreadful feeling sunk to the bottom of my stomach. I tried to drown it but ended up voicing my fears. “You’re not trying to say that….”
“I’m saying exactly that, Freya.” He straightened up, and I thought I spotted a wicked glimmer in his eyes. “We’re getting married.”
“No!”
No. No. Absolutely no way in hell that was happening.
His gaze darkened, the void gone and replaced with a fierce fury I recognized. He grabbed my upper arm in a death grip. “You forget your place. You have no right, no power to decide.”
I wanted to scratch his eyes out and spit on his face. I hated him so much. “It doesn’t matter what you say. You can’t force me to marry you.”
“It doesn’t matter what you say; I have the power, and as the Pahkan of the Yezhov family, it is tradition. Bastards are not allowed. I know you would prefer your independence and to raise my child alone, but no fucking way am I letting that happen.”
“We don’t have to get married. Have you never heard of co-parenting?”
He chuckled, but there was nothing humorous in it. “Yeah, sure, co-parenting with a fucking traitor. Such a fantasy. Welcome to my world, Detective , where some modern shit doesn’t apply. We’re getting married, and that’s final.”
“And if I say no? What are you going to do about it? Hurt me? Hurt the kid?”
I didn’t realize I was crying until he leaned forward and wiped my eyes, a deadly snarl hovering on his lips. “Or your old pal, John Candler? Or Ruby? Or your mom? Or Zeya?” He shook me before he let me go. “You forget that I hold the key. I’m the executor now, and I get to say who stays and who goes.”
Anger and hate burned in my veins, filling me up with a consuming bitterness. I curled my fingers in my jeans to keep my hands from committing murder as I marched up to him, and before I could rethink the words reeling in my mind, they went rushing out with no filter.
“People like you don’t deserve any love. You want to know why? It’s because you’re a monster, Egor Yezhov. And I hate you more than you could ever imagine.”