Mammylion Pep Buds #2
“But I did love you first,” Gem added, like he was trying to defuse the situation.
Toni bared his jagged teeth at Rusty. “Yeah, you did. Toni was first.”
Confused, Dex motioned between the three of them. “Oh, are you guys a throuple? That’s progressive AF.”
At that, all three of them reacted rather violently, Rusty gagging as Toni physically recoiled in horror. Gem’s cry of dismay was muffled by two of his hands as his other four arms hugged himself.
“No!” Toni shook his head, black eyes wild and glassy. “No, no, no.”
“I’m gonna be sick,” Rusty warned as his tail curled protectively around his leg. “Like, for real, I’m gonna throw up.”
“Ew, ew, ew,” Gem chanted. “The incest. And… the logistics. How would that even work? I mean”—he glanced at Rusty, then Toni, then Rusty again—“Rusty would clearly be the top, but still.”
“What!” both Rusty and Toni barked, with matching levels of revulsion.
“I’m not topping him!” Rusty cried.
“As if I’d let you,” Toni snarled. “I have never been more offended in my life.”
Gem simpered at him. “Aw, Toni, honey, sweetie. It’s so adorable that you think, for even a second, that you’d be a top in this scenario. You’re a little bottom-bitch.”
“Yeah, man, you kind of are,” Oliver agreed, somewhat gleefully, as he leaned against the back counter.
Pointing an accusing finger at Oliver, Toni said, “Only for Jude. I ain’t bottom-bitching for Pinkie-Pie. I’d rather be disemboweled, be brought back to life, and disemboweled again. And even that ain’t enough.”
“Be that as it may, I can’t interact with Toni sexually! That would be incest,” Gem insisted vehemently. “Ollie, you gotta tag in here.”
The human’s serene smile evaporated. “Oh no, you’re not dragging me into this.”
“But you have to,” Gem wailed. “We can’t promote incest. Think of the children!”
“What children?” Oliver demanded.
“Disemboweled, burned, skinned, disemboweled a fourth time,” Toni listed off on his fingers.
“Seriously, someone get me a bucket,” Rusty panted, steadying himself with a hand on the bakery case.
“You know, now that I’m thinking about it,” Gem said, tapping his chin with one finger, “Toni and I should be the ones tagging in and out, just to make sure there’s never crossover.”
“If I have to be there, I’m taking the cuck-chair,” Oliver said, wiping his hands together like he was washing himself clean of the whole situation.
“Drowned, hung and quartered, disemboweled again, just for good measure,” Toni said, still counting off on his fingers.
Hands on his knees, Rusty wheezed and coughed, like he really was about to puke. “I can’t… ’cause, like… think of all the eye contact.”
“Not gonna lie, I’m actually really good in groups,” Gem said cheerfully, his many, many fingers wiggling. “Lots of hands.”
From behind Dex, someone chuffed a laugh.
It was quick and quiet, more of a hissing snicker, an idea of a laugh rather than one fully formed.
But Dex heard it. He turned and caught the tiniest flash of a smirk on Cya’s face.
It was gone just as quickly, replaced with an almost scolding frown, like they were reprimanding Dex for noticing them.
“Oh my gods, Cya just laughed at something I said,” Gem squealed, bringing an end to the chaos. “They just acknowledged my existence.”
Cya crossed their arms over their chest, their jewelry chiming, and Gem clasped several hands in front of his stomach.
“Are we friends now?” Gem asked hopefully.
“No,” Cya deadpanned.
“They responded with a word and not a noise of disgust.” Bouncing on his toes, he beamed at Rusty, Oliver, and Toni. “Progress!”
“I’m gonna go back to Quin’s office now,” Oliver whispered, wiping a hand down his shell-shocked face.
“I need a fucking cigarette,” Rusty muttered morosely.
“I wanna go home,” Toni whined.
“Is it always like this?” Dex asked.
Cya rubbed the space between their eyes and sighed. “Unfortunately."
Beside Toni, Glyma appeared, lilac hair secured in a messy bun, flour smeared across a light purple cheek.
She wore an apron over a pastel blue dress, legs covered in yellow tights that looked warm and soft.
The fabric of the apron shaped her full bust, the ties fastened under her thick belly that Dex imagined—for only a second—burying his face in.
A thin tail ending in a fluffy purple tuft serpentined behind her as her hot-pink eyes scanned each of them in turn before settling on Dex.
“Dex, how wonderful that you’re here,” the Succubus said with a dazzling smile that knocked the wind from his chest.
He wasn’t usually speechless, but Glyma was probably the hottest woman he’d ever seen in his life, even if she was nearly old enough to be his mom. Not that he was ageist or anything. He liked MILF porn just fine.
Oh shit, he could not think about porn right now. Popping wood for his boss on his first day was so uncool. And probably misogynistic somehow.
“Hey, Glyma, super excited to be here. Sorry about thinking inappropriate thoughts about you just now. It was an accident, and it won’t happen again because I respect you as my boss and as a woman,” Dex blurted, and her eyes went wide.
“Unholy shit,” Cya said.
“Whoa, he just put it right out there,” Rusty said.
“I mean, we’ve all kind of thought it,” Oliver said.
“Even me, and I’m literally the gayest,” Gem said.
“Kinda gotta respect it,” Toni said.
Glyma blushed, hand fluttering over the base of her throat. “Oh, uh, well…”
“Sorry,” Dex said again.
Gem gave his shoulder a pat. “Don’t sweat it. The first time she touched my arm, there were several seconds where I considered being bisexual for her.”
Inhaling through his teeth, Rusty shook his head. “Not helping, caryd.”
“Damn it, did I do another workplace-sexual-harassment?” Gem shot Glyma an alarmed look. “Please don’t tell Quin. She’ll make me watch the compliance videos again, and they’re so boring!”
Waving a hand, Glyma wiped away the conversation. “Let’s just… Come on back to the kitchen, Dex. I’ll show you around and get you better acquainted back here.”
“Okay.” With a nod, Dex brushed past Gem, Rusty, and Oliver, and followed Glyma and Toni through the swinging doors.