53. Meg / Bb
53
MEG / BB
M eg: We really doing this?
BB: Nothing has changed. Just your perception.
Meg: Not exactly good timing for a life lesson here.
BB: Listen to you being salty. I thought you wanted to talk, Meg. But if you’re busy with something else, or SOMEONE else, it’s fine. You know where to find me.
Meg: Wait!
BB: Excuse me, did you just call me back with an exclamation point?
Meg: What do you mean if I’m with SOMEONE else?
BB: You didn’t text me all evening, and suddenly at 2 am I get this text that you wanted to talk. What were you doing all evening? And with who? Or shouldn’t I even ask.
Meg: OMG, Quasi, are you jealous?
BB: I won’t say jealous, but you just disappeared, and I won’t lie, I was wondering.
Meg: You were the one who suggested I go out for a drink.
BB: You also said you’d be back early to chat.
Meg: Okay, actually that’s what I wanted to talk about.
BB: Are you going to tell me you met someone else?
Meg: …
Meg: …
BB: Do you plan on sending those texts, or am I just wasting my time here?
Meg: Who’s being salty now?
BB: I’m waiting.
Meg: FINE. So the guy I told you about who I work with…
BB: You mean the asshole?
Meg: Well, it turns out he’s not such an asshole.
BB: Tell me you didn’t sleep with him.
Meg: I did.
BB: Seriously?
Meg: I’m a sexual woman with needs. Needs you REFUSED to meet, so there.
BB: So you slept with this asshole because I was too much of a gentleman to be sexting with you online?
Meg: No, I slept with him because I really wanted to.
BB: Can’t say that doesn’t hurt. Presumably, the sex wasn’t any good because why else would you be texting me now.
Meg: No, it was pretty fantastic.
BB: Fantastic? Wow. Don’t hold back for the sake of sparing my feelings.
Meg: So, you are jealous.
BB: I might be, what’s it to you?
Meg: I kinda makes me feel good. But there is something else.
BB: Oh great, as if it couldn’t get any worse.
Meg: Are you going to listen to me, or are you just going to bitch and moan.
BB: Fine. I’m listening.
Meg: So, he asked me to marry him.
BB: WHAT??? Please tell me you’re not actually considering it.
Meg: I wasn’t before but I am now.
BB: Why Meg? Why the hell would you marry some stranger who’s an asshole?
Meg: He’s not an asshole.
BB: Just because he gave you an orgasm doesn’t make him any less of one.
Meg: Actually he gave me four.
BB: Do you hear yourself?
Meg: Reality check: Quasi 0 Byron 4
BB: Perhaps because our relationship is more than just about sex, Meg. Have you ever considered that. Plus, you don’t even know this Byron guy. And definitely not like you know me. Or like I know you.
Meg: We do know each other well, don’t we Quasi?
BB: We do. How many people know that you used to swipe wine from the decanter at church when no one was watching?
Meg: Only you and Isabel.
BB: And who knows that you’re the one who put the note from Satan in Trevor’s backpack, congratulating him on doing Satan’s work, being such a bully? Which led to poor Trevor having a nervous breakdown and subsequently being homeschooled?
Meg: You and Isabel…Wow, you remember a lot of details.
BB: Of course I do. I remember everything about you, Megan Belfiore.
Meg: Can’t say I’m not a little hot right now.
BB: Explain what you mean by hot, please.
Meg: If you were here, I’d rip off your clothes and show you how hot.
BB: Are you going to have sex with that Byron guy again?
Meg: What choice do I have? You’re still two states away.
BB: Are you saying that if I came to you right now, and we had wild, wonderful sex, you’d want to be with me instead?
Meg: Let’s not get carried away now. But it’s a fair assessment.
BB: Well, what I didn’t tell you is that I have acquired a teleportation device. But I’ll need an address.
Meg: That’ll work. Just punch Aurora into your GPS. It will bring you straight here. Just be sure not to get a fly stuck with you in the machine. Don’t want you to end up like that poor guy in The Fly.
BB: Oh definitely. Can’t imagine I’d look good with so many eyes and all that hair.
Meg: I’d still sleep with you, though, if you’re worried about that.
BB: That’s so generous of you. I will keep it in mind.
Meg: So, I can expect you in what, 30 minutes? One hour?
BB: Oh my hot little minx, your impatience is so beguiling. The eagle has landed. Unlock the door.