Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Wren
2012- Twelfth Grade
Hiding in the corner of my bedroom, I wrap my blanket around myself, hoping if Mom peeks in, she won’t see me. WoSaF’s epic theme song fills the space, and as I enter my login information, I’m transported into another realm. My worries and tribulations melt away. My name is no longer Wren; it’s Aralin, Master of Fire. Here, I’m a force to be reckoned with, and no one can take that away from me. As the world comes to life around me, a familiar ding immediately makes me smile.
Glavnir: I was waiting for you :)
Me: Sorry, I was on a cleaning spree. Mom freaked out because I left a puzzle on the living room table.
Glavnir: The puzzle you’ve been working on for a week?
Me: Yeah, it’s fine.
Glavnir: Are you kidding me? You were going to glue it together when you completed it!
Me: It’s okay, real?—
Before I finish the message, the bedroom door opens and slams against the wall, making me shudder.
Mom strolls in, scanning the space with her judgmental stare. My attention lands on her, and she scoffs when her dull blue eyes meet mine. “I thought I asked you to clean the living room.”
“I did.”
“Did you vacuum?”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to. You said to clean off the table and straighten up the couch.”
“I told you to vacuum,” she huffs.
Thinking it over, I don’t recall her asking me to run the vacuum. My memory has been shot lately. Did I forget?
Without fighting, I place my computer on the floor and start to stand. “I’ll do it now?—”
When I straighten, I’m knocked back by a sudden rush of dizziness. I lean against the wall and close my eyes, willing the black spots to disappear.
While my head spins, Mom takes a step forward. “You can’t get up too fast.” She’s trying to sound caring, but it comes off as a lecture.
“Sorry,” I manage to say as I work on catching my breath. “I just. . . need a minute.”
“If you did it when I asked?—”
“I know!” I snap. My eyes shoot open, and regret claws up my spine.
Her cheeks turn red, her mouth opens slightly, and she makes a clicking noise with her tongue before letting out a tiny hum. Her tell when she’s angry.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean?—”
“Don’t talk back to me,” she hisses. “When I ask you to do something, do it. It’s that simple.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll do it right now.” I take a step forward, but my dizziness stops me. My hand flies to my chest, and the thumping pounds against my palm. I take in a shaky breath and push myself forward. “Sorry,” I mumble as I pass her, and relief washes over me when she doesn’t respond.
With the vacuum’s handle in hand, I bend over to plug it in, and another wave of darkness fills my vision. My periods are under control, but my body is still recuperating. I’m sure my iron level and blood count are better, but it’s still not within normal range. I also haven’t eaten today. The cupboards are empty for me; there’s food, just nothing I can eat that won’t end in a stomachache—or worse.
“I can do this,” I repeat until I finish vacuuming the living room.
My sister’s laughter fills the air. While I’m out here, they’re safe behind closed doors, playing without a care in the world. Did Mom make them straighten up anything? Half of this mess is theirs to begin with. I’d be willing to bet the answer is no. Instead, I had to clean up the puzzle I’d been working on for days while they could leave little figurines and plastic toys all over the floor.
Is it possible to be at home but not feel like you belong? No one within these walls cares about me or my happiness. So, why do I care about them or what they think of me? Why do I worry about being a thorn in their sides? Why does it hurt so much?
When I get back down the hall to my room, I close the door and shut my eyes.
“They don’t deserve my tears,” I mumble. “Don’t cry.”
A series of chimes sound from the corner of my room. Taking my time, I stroll over to my computer, plop back down, and read through the missed messages.
Glavnir: Are you still there?
Glavnir: Did I say something wrong?
Glavnir: Wren, please say something.
Glavnir: It’s been twenty minutes, and I’m getting worried.
Glavnir: Fuck it, I’m coming over.
The last message makes my eyes bug out. I scramble back up, grab a hoodie, and pack my computer in my book bag. While I fumble with shoving clean clothes into my bag as well, Mom calls from downstairs, and panic spreads in my veins.
“Theo, how nice to see you.” Her faux, singsong tone curdles my stomach.
“Where’s Wren?”
Shit, he’s pissed. I need to get downstairs before he says something he shouldn’t. The last time he said something in my defense, Mom turned red and stormed into the kitchen, slamming every cabinet she could. Theo had smirked because he pissed her off.
To this day, he doesn’t know I got a verbal lashing for how he treated her. She “didn’t do anything” to deserve being talked to in that manner. She’s a good mom, takes care of her children, and loves me no matter what. If you ask me, it’s total bullshit.
I appreciate Theo for standing up for me, but sometimes, it’s best to stay quiet.
With my bag over my shoulder, I leave my room and head down the stairs as swiftly as my body will allow.
“Sorry,” I say out of breath. “I lost track of time.”
Theo smiles at me, but his eyes tell a different story. “That’s okay, Mom is outside.” He nods toward her car, and I sigh in relief. The walk to Theo’s isn’t far, but my muscles would give out on me within a block.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, Mom.” I offer her a smile, and she returns it with a fake one.
“Have fun, love you.” After a kiss on my temple, I pull away from her and walk beside Theo.
When the front door closes, he leans closer and asks, “Did you eat today?”
I shake my head, and he sighs while draping his arm over my shoulders. “Thought so. Mom and I stopped by that sandwich place that has gluten-free bread. We can go home, head straight to my room, eat, and watch that anime show you were telling me about.”
The tears I’d fought off before slide down my cheeks. I don’t say anything, and I don’t have to. Theo knows how I’m feeling; right now, he knows all I need is to be with him. That’s why he came for me. That’s why he asked his mom to pick me up because he knew I didn’t have the strength to walk.
He opens the car door for me, and I climb in.
“There she is. How are you today, my love?” Mal beams at me.
Her black curls are pulled back into a bun. She’s wearing her scrubs, and guilt pits in my stomach.
“Don’t, Wren,” Theo states while sliding into the back seat beside me. “Mom insisted once I told her. Don’t apologize.”
I shove my face in my hands and allow myself to cry.
Mal reaches back and squeezes my knee before saying, “We’ll take care of you, mi nina. Let’s get you out of here.”
When she retracts her hand, Theo is quick to scooch to the middle seat, fasten his seat belt, and pull me into his embrace. He cradles me the entire car ride, rubbing my back and soothing me while I sob.
I thought family was supposed to be there for you, not make you cry and despise who you are. How come Theo and his mom treat me better than my own blood? Why do I feel safe and loved with them but not in my home? What did I do to deserve this?
“I’ve got you.” He brushes my hair away, and his lips graze against the shell of my ear. “You’re safe with me. I swear. It’s you and me, no matter what.”