Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Wren
As I stare up at the ceiling, a disgruntled sigh vibrates from my chest. Not only is sleep elusive, but when I do drift off, nightmares are my welcoming party. If they’re not about my mother, they’re about my past.
On top of that, I can’t stop replaying when I asked Theo about female orgasms. What is wrong with me? No, I haven’t been with a lot of men, and none of them have been able to give me an orgasm. I’ve done my research, and logically, I know it’s a common thing. Yet, that doesn’t stifle the goblin in my brain telling me I’m the problem.
What does it feel like to finish while a man is fucking you senseless? Is it different from clitoral stimulation? The women in porn are always so loud, and I genuinely wanted to know if it was theatrics or not. I shouldn’t have asked Theo because now my mind is racing. Have I had sex dreams about him? Yes. Did I finish in those dreams? Unfortunately, yes. Something between us is shifting, and I wish my mortifying question was innocent and naive in nature.
Flipping onto my side, I fumble for my phone and open the chat with Brandy and Mia. It doesn’t matter that it’s one in the morning. Brandy will be nose deep in a mathematics book, studying for her doctorate, and Mia will be up reading her new romance novel.
Me: SOS.
Brandy: What’s wrong?
Mia: Who do I need to murder?
Me: I love how you automatically resort to violence lol.
Brandy: It’s who she is.
Mia: I can’t help it ;)
Brandy: Anyway, what’s wrong? You’re usually asleep at this time.
Me: The nightmares are back, and this bed isn’t my bed.
Mia: Do you have your show on?
Me: Yes :(
Mia: I mean. . . you could always bother that hunk of man meat in the other room.
I almost drop my phone on my face at the message.
Brandy: Hunk of man meat!?
Mia: What? I’m only stating the obvious. I still have a hard time believing you never hooked up with him.
Matters with Theo aren’t helping my stress levels, either. When he held me close and trailed his hands over my waist the other day, my heart stopped. And earlier, when he stared into my eyes, I swear something flickered in his. My crush on him is usually like background noise, easy to ignore, but I would be lying if I said something isn’t different. My feelings are pushing to the forefront, demanding I acknowledge them.
Brandy: Wren would never. She has class.
Classic Brandy. . .
Me: He’s a good person. Even you can’t deny that, especially after he took me in.
Brandy: He has his moments, but it’ll take more than that to change my mind.
Releasing a long exhale, I close the chat and start my show again. I didn’t want the conversation to turn like that. I simply wanted them to distract me. A notification appears on the top of my phone, and I open it because it’s Mia.
Mia: I’m sorry about her. You know how she gets. She’s just worried and super protective of you.
Me: It’s still frustrating. He’s a good person regardless of his job.
Mia: Anyone can see how much that man cares for you.
My cheeks turn red as I tap on my phone screen.
Me: What do you mean?
Mia: Do I really need to spell it out for you?
My brain is screaming at me to run from this conversation, but my heart wants to hear it. Should I see it? Probably not, but I want to. For once, I want to explore these feelings and see what happens. With all that has happened in the last couple of days, I want to know if the signs I think I’m seeing are really there or not.
Me: Treat me like a second grader. I’m losing my mind over here.
The typing bubble pops up, and my stomach fills with anxiety. Forcing steady breaths, I close my eyes, and when my phone vibrates, I open them.
Mia: I could go on and on about how he treats you, but it’s important for me to explain what I see from him.
Mia: It’s in his eyes, Wren. When he looks at you, they soften. It’s as if he’s committing you to memory and just admiring you. He smiles at you when you’re not looking.
I sit straight up. That can’t be true. Why would he do that? I don’t understand...
I’m used to his flirty words and concerned smiles, but why does it seem like they’re affecting me more than they usually do? Why is my stomach tumbling? And why is it suddenly so hot in here?
Mia: I won’t say anymore because I’m willing to bet your eyes are about to fall out.
Me: You’re not wrong. . .
Mia: You should get some rest. You sleep better with him, right?
Me: Right again.
Mia: Go to him and get some sleep. Can I stop by tomorrow?
Me: I would love that :) Thank you!
Mia: Always 3 See you tomorrow.
I roll out of bed and leave my new room for his. Thankful that his door is cracked, I slip inside and approach him. His curly hair is mussed from sleep, his lips are cast downward in a relaxed frown, and his chest is rising and falling peacefully. The desire to lie beside him tugs me closer.
“Theo?” I murmur while gently shaking his shoulder.
“Hmm?” He shifts awake and blinks his eyes open. “Are you okay?” His voice has dropped an octave, making it sexier than it should be.
“I’m fine?—”
“Did you have a nightmare?”
With a soft smile, I shake my head.
“I can’t sleep. Can I?—”
Before I finish my sentence, he scoots over and lifts the comforter for me to join him. With no hesitation, I climb into his bed and curl up to his chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me close, resting his chin on top of my head.
“You’re safe,” he tells me.
“I know,” I say into his chest. “Thank you.”
Silence blankets us. The calming lull and the rhythm of his breathing wash over my body. My eyes flutter closed, and I ball the back of his shirt in my fist.
Theo and I are great friends, but does that mean we should wade into the other side of the spectrum? I just hope that if we do and if it doesn’t work out, we don’t lose this.