Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Wren
I put on my sneakers as fast as I can and hurry into the hall without grabbing a jacket. My legs carry me past the elevator toward the stairs. There’s no time to wait; I need to keep moving. The need for fresh air is squeezing my lungs.
I freeze when Robbie steps into the hall from the stairwell.
He greets with a smile as he holds the door open. “Good evening, Ms. Wren.”
My breath saws in and out of me as I glance between him and the stairwell.
“Are you okay?” he asks as I wipe my brow.
Breathe.
“Yeah, I just need some air,” I gasp. “Will you excuse me?”
“Sure—”
I take the stairs as fast as I can. When I stumble outside, a breeze hits me, and I soak it in. I suck in a long inhale and release it slowly, savoring the scent of fresh cut grass and wildflowers. The sun has started to set, casting red and orange hues on the horizon.
Focusing on steadying my racing heart, I take even steps until I find myself at a park. My attention is drawn to couples holding hands and walking their dogs and families with their children. I slow my pace and sit on a stone bench, closing my eyes.
Time seems to slow, but it doesn’t work in my favor.
My lips still tingle from that kiss, and no matter what I do, I can’t calm my pulse. Theo has always been there for me, and while I fought my feelings, things were reliable between us.
It’s all changed now. One kiss, one decision, altered everything.
One orgasm better than anything I could have imagined. I don’t know if I should be elated or mortified that Theo was the first person to make me see stars. Maybe a little bit of both. Sure, coming undone by his hand left me vulnerable and boneless. But that kiss seemed like... so much more .
Theo has had his fair share of kissing. Me, on the other hand, I’m no pro. I’ve kissed a few men in my life, but none of them made me feel like I was weightless. It was a sensation I’ve never felt before. As if my whole world revolved around his touch. And damn, do I crave it. One moment was all it took. One kiss, one earth-shattering orgasm, and I’m addicted.
And his face, don’t get me started on how he looked at me. I melt as I recall his expression. His eyes were dark but still somehow glittered like they were dotted with minuscule stars. His cheeks flushed, and his lips. Oh god, his lips. When he leaned in to kiss me again, butterflies swarmed my stomach, and I wanted nothing more than to relinquish myself to him, but I panicked.
I ran like a coward instead of facing him and the truth.
The truth is that I’ve liked him from the start of it all. I was his at our first hello, and I’ll be his past our final farewell.
Slumping against the bench, I roll my head back and stare at the tree’s leaves overhead.
Worthless. . .
A waste of space.
A burden.
Two out of three.
“Shit,” I whisper as tears spill from my eyes.
Theo doesn’t want me. This was nothing more than entertaining our curiosity.
I’ll say it was a mistake. . . but I’d be lying.
He wouldn’t have said that if this was a lapse in judgment. Which means?—
“Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.”
He meant it. Our kiss was real . . . Fuck, what did I get myself into?
A familiar ring sounds from my pocket, and I jolt from the sudden disturbance.
I chant “Please don’t be Theo” in my head before peeking at the screen. I sigh in relief when I see it’s my sisters video calling me.
“Hey, guys.”
“Are you okay!?” Pen asks when my face comes into focus.
“What’s wrong? Something told me to call you!” Amelia states, her familiar brown eyes wrinkling at the corners in concern.
“I’m fine?—”
“Don’t lie,” they say at the same time.
With a chuckle, I wipe my eyes and drop my shoulders. “Today has been. . . eventful.”
“How so?” Pen asks.
“This tea is hot.” I let out another weak laugh.
“That’s the best kind,” Amelia says jokingly. “But you can trust us.”
There was a time when I wouldn’t and couldn’t rely on my two sisters. That all changed after Mom and Dad split two years ago. I forget who started our group chat, but we use it to check in with one another. We’ve come to lean on each other for support.
“I’ve been staying with Theo,” I tell them.
“Why?” Amelia’s brow knits together.
I stare at them both for a moment. They still talk to our mother but are slowly coming to understand why I stopped.
“Mom came by my apartment. I”—I clear my throat—“didn’t feel safe after that. Theo offered to let me stay with him until we know she doesn’t return, but. . .”
“Oh, this is gonna be good.” Pen squirms.
“He”—I let out a nervous laugh—“kissed me.” No way am I telling them what happened before that.
Pen spits out the sip of water she took.
“What!?” they both exclaim.
Amelia stares at me as Pen starts rambling off questions. “How was it? Did he use tongue? I bet it was good; he’s got those full lips?—”
“Pen, will you relax?” Amelia says as a smile ghosts across my face.
They don’t know what Theo does. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure they ever asked. How would they respond if they knew Theo is a cam star? Pen would find it entertaining. Amelia, I can’t say for certain. She might judge him, or she might understand. Honestly, it would depend on her mood.
“Did you want him to kiss you?” Amelia asks.
I open my mouth and then close it. Reflecting back, I remember how he felt against me, how chills spread across my skin and my stomach flipped. My answer comes to me before I can question it. “I did, and I think I have for a while now.”
Pen pumps her arms in the air while Amelia’s stiff expression softens. “That’s all that matters.”
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this to happen?” Pen raises her voice in excitement.
“Uhh—”
“Too long!”
Amelia and I chuckle as Pen dances around her living room, singing.
“Who would have thought Theo would be the one? Has it been weird living with him?” Amelia asks.
I shake my head. “No, it feels normal. Well, minus the?—”
“Kissing?” Penn cackles.
“I was going to say sexual tension, but that works too.”
“That’s even better!”
“She’s way too worked up,” Amelia chuckles. “What do you think will happen next? Or rather, what do you want to happen next?”
“I’m not sure.” My voice falters as my mind begins to race.
What do I want? What does Theo want? What if we become more than friends and it doesn’t work out? We would lose one another forever.
“She’s spiraling,” Pen says in warning. “Wren, whatever you’re doing, stop. This is a happy moment. Don’t panic.”
Forcing myself to take in a long breath, I focus on my sisters and nod. “Okay, no panicking.”
“What would happen between you and Theo in your wildest dreams?” Amelia alters her question.
“In my wildest dreams...” I repeat under my breath. “I’d go back and tell him the truth.”
“And what is the truth?” she asks.
“I have feelings for him,” I admit. “I have for far longer than I’ve realized.”
“That’s so sweet. It’s making my stomach hurt,” Pen says, sniffling.
“Pen, will you sit down?” Amelia sighs. “You’re making your own stomach hurt.”
“Sorry, sorry, I got too worked up.” Pen pulls her blonde hair into a bun. “Wait, why are you outside?”
“You’re just noticing that?” I laugh. “I needed air. A lot has happened today.”
“More than the kiss happened?” Amelia asks.
“Unfortunately,” I grumble. “But the kiss was the cherry on top.”
“So you two haven’t discussed it?”
“This day is going to get more eventful.” Pen winks at the camera, and I purse my lips.
“You have to go back,” Amelia tells me.
“I know.” I glance back toward Theo’s penthouse, and my heart aches.
What is he thinking right now? Is he worried? Concerned? Does he care? That’s silly. Of course he cares. For all I know, things will resume and go back to normal. We’ll forget about the kiss and, hopefully, him helping me reach orgasm and move on with our lives.
“I’ll go back. Thanks guys, I appreciate you.”
“Keep us updated, okay?” Amelia says with a kind smile.
“Just don’t tell us if you fuck. My stomach definitely can’t handle that.”
“Pen!” Amelia scolds her.
“What?”
“That’s information I wouldn’t share with my sisters,” I say with a furrowed brow. “Talk to you two later.”
“Bye!” they say at the same time.
I stand and slide my phone into my pocket, then start to walk back home. I’m not sure what I’ll return back to, but it’s time to talk to the man who won’t stop altering my life.