Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
Theo
Wren has her mission, and I have mine.
Do I like Wren’s plan to confront Amanda? Fuck no. But this is something she wants to do, and who am I to stop her? I’m a fuckup who almost threw everything away because I didn’t put my faith in the woman I’ve loved for years. All I want is to keep her safe, but I nearly lost her because of it.
Over and over again, she’s told me I’m worth it, but her words aren’t getting through my thick skull. I want to be good enough. Hell, I don’t think I’m an awful person. There are far worse people out there. So why can’t I move past this mistake? Why can’t I believe Wren? She’s never lied to me before.
No, there must be something wrong with me. There’s no other explanation.
That’s how I find myself in my car, driving toward my mother’s house. She stopped working nights a few years ago, but I pray to god she doesn’t have any friends over. I need to talk to her. If Wren can’t set me straight, Mom is the only other person I trust who can.
When I pull into the driveway, my shoulders drop when I notice the living room light is on. I step out of my car and sigh when I don’t hear any additional voices. Mom is a social butterfly. When I was younger, there’d be a party every weekend, and I’d hole myself in my room and spend the evening gaming with Wren. Mom tried to free me from my shell, but I was happy there. After some time, she realized that and stopped forcing me to socialize.
I’m one of the lucky ones. My mother has her flaws, but she’s quick to stand by your side and have your back. Not everyone can say that, and I’ve seen what disconnected mothers can do—how they affect their children.
That’s why I don’t hesitate when I knock on the door. It swings open not a moment later, and her eyes seem to brighten when she sees me.
“?Mi amor! ?Qué estás haciendo aquí? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”
“Hey, Mom.” I smile. “Do you have a moment? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Of course! ?Pasa, pasa!”
She ushers me inside, and the scent of warm tortillas invades my senses.
Mom turns to me and grins. “Do you want something to eat? Drink?”
“No, I’m okay,” I say, my voice quiet while nerves bounce around my stomach. “I just need to sit.” I plop onto the couch, and memories flash through my mind.
Every Friday night, Wren would come over, and we’d gather around this table to play WoSaF until Mom would tell us to go to bed. She never worried about Wren and me sleeping in the same room. I didn’t have the guts to make a move, and Wren was too shy to admit her feelings. We were kids, and we relied on one another for comfort and safety. It was simple. . . and I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss those days.
“You seem tense.” Mom sits next to me. “What’s on your mind?”
I clasp my hands together and hang my head low. It’s like the weight of everything is hitting me all at once, and all I can do is focus on breathing.
“Theo.” She rubs my back, the same circular motion she used to do when I would cry.
Tears well in my eyes, and I don’t fight the sob that breaks through.
“Is this about Wren?” She keeps her tone low and gentle.
I choke on my tears. “I fucked up.”
“I doubt that.”
“I almost lost her.” I sit up and meet her motherly gaze. “Because I’m a pathetic coward?—”
“Don’t talk about my son that way.” That stern yet familiar tone stops me short. “You are far from those things.”
“But you don’t know?—”
“Shh! I refuse to listen to it.”
I break our eye contact and stare back down at my hands.
Mom sighs and pats my back. “Does this mean you and Wren. . .”
I nod slowly.
“Since the party?”
I nod again. She doesn’t need to know the specifics about the night before that.
“Tell me what’s sitting on your chest. I’ll try and not interrupt.”
I expel a long breath and look at her through my peripheral. “I love her.” Fuck, it still feels good to say. “I’ve loved her since high school. I was just too young to see it.”
“I know, mi amor. Keep going.”
“She’s always had my back, as I had hers. She never judged me even when I made stupid choices. She was there, and even after what I did, she still is.” I shift so we’re facing each other. “Someone from my past came back—she tried to hurt me by using Wren, and she almost succeeded.”
I can’t tell Mom everything. If she knew what I did. . . what I do. . . she’d never forgive me.
“All I want is to protect Wren, but?—”
“You can be a stubborn culo,” Mom adds, fighting back a smirk.
“Thanks for that. . .”
“You know what I mean.” She reaches forward and takes my hand.
“My need to keep her safe almost cost me. My decision almost changed everything. If I lost her?—”
“Did you?” Mom tilts her head.
“No.”
“So why are you letting this weigh on you?”
“Because I made a choice and nearly ruined everything! How can I look her in the eye after what I’ve done? Who’s to say I won’t make another dumbass decision again? What if the next time I mess up, it breaks her heart and she has no choice but to leave me!?” Tears burn the corners of my eyes. “What would I do after that? I’d be lost without her.”
“Oh, mi chico.” Mom exhales, pulling me into a hug. “Come here.” She wraps her arms around me and holds me as I cry against her shoulder. “Listen to me,” she whispers. “No one is perfect. If everyone made the right decision every time they faced a choice, then we’d never grow. I know you think Wren sees you differently now, but I know that girl. I’ve seen her grow from a child to a woman. She is fierce, and she loves just as fiercely. She doesn’t see you differently, my love.” Mom pulls back and places her hands on my cheeks, catching my tears and cooling my skin. “She sees you for you, and she loves you for it.”
“I almost?—”
“Did you lose her?” She cuts in. “Did she leave you?”
“No,” I murmur.
“Did you two talk about what happened?”
“Yes,” I say through a sniffle.
“Good. I know you think you messed up, but you know what? You’ll grow from this.” She pats my cheek and smiles. “You and Wren were always meant to be. Something like this won’t break you. I believe that with everything I am.”
I press my palms into my eyes and nod. “Thanks, Mom.”
“It’s okay to be sad,” she adds. “Just don’t let it win.”
I blow out a long exhale as I drop my hands. “I’ll try.”
“That’s my boy.” Leaning forward, she kisses my forehead and smiles at me. “Remember, Theo—you are enough.”
There she goes again, saying the exact thing I needed to hear. This woman knows me like the back of her hand. It shouldn’t surprise me that she knows how I’ve been feeling. Yet, it always does.
“Now.” She jumps to her feet and heads into the kitchen. “I’m going to fix you a plate, and you’re going to eat it all!”
I snort out a laugh and lean back. “Yes, ma’am.”
Glass plates clatter against the kitchen counter, and my eyes close.
Everything is going to be okay. Wren and I have each other, and we won’t let anything or anyone step between us. This will take time to heal from, but I trust that we’ll survive this.
This won’t happen again; I won’t let it.