5. Cassie
5
CASSIE
“ M atthew.”
I slowly moved my body so I was facing the man who had broken my heart into a million pieces. I stared at the once jaded little boy who I fell in love with twenty-four years ago when I first laid eyes on him in Mrs. Davis’s kitchen.
Matthew looked wide-eyed and joyful, whereas I was skeptical and hurt. He hesitantly moved closer to me, most likely afraid I’d run off. Running away had become my specialty.
“Cassie,” he said again.
“I can’t—“ I held up my hand, moving toward the double doors once more, deciding to go back into the restaurant. I didn’t think Matthew would follow me, but I needed a moment to regroup, and now he was standing in front of the doors that led to my freedom.
“Well, this has been quite the surprise. I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got tables to get back to.” If I still have a job . I tried moving around him, but he stood firm.
“Cassie, please. It’s been ten years. I have so much I want to say,” Matthew pleaded, his eyebrows furrowing as they did when he was stressed.
I pursed my lips, tempted by the thought of hearing him out. I wondered if he would say all the words I willed him to say that fateful night. If he still thought about me like I did him. If he still wanted me …
No! I forced those far-fetched thoughts out of my mind. I grew angry with myself as I realized how much power he still held over me. I really needed to get out of there.
“Get out of my way!” I demanded, moving to walk around him.
Matthew outstretched his arm to grab my hand. His hold wasn’t firm, not enough to stop me from leaving but just enough to give me pause.
I swatted his hand away as though I had been burned. How dare he touch me!
I slapped Matthew across the cheek, the crack echoing throughout the small space. My eyes widened so much that I was sure they looked like they belonged to a cartoon character.
Matthew winced, and he stood there with his palm resting on his cheek, patiently waiting. For what, I had no idea.
We both were too stunned to speak.
I shuffled my feet, ready to leave and face the proverbial music from Bridget.
“Beau’s dead,” Matthew blurted.
I looked at him for confirmation of the truth in his words, and when I saw how sullen and serious he was, I felt my eyes welling with tears. Not here , my internal voice reminded me, You can break down later when you’re alone.
I looked him straight in the eye. Fuck those green eyes. “Thank you for—telling me.” I gulped, mustering up the courage to leave. “Please let me go.”
The double meaning of my words wasn’t lost on me.
“Cassie, I’m so?—”
“Don’t! Don’t you dare apologize!” I shouted, surprising myself at how assertive I sounded. I refused to allow him to hurt me again. To give me hope only to rip the rug right out from under my feet. I had to get out of there. “I can’t do this. You can’t do this. It’s not fair to either of us, but especially not to me.”
“We need to talk eventually, don’t you think?” Matthew suggested, reluctantly stepping out of my way.
I paused on my walk to the doors, contemplating my next move. “Fuck you,” I whispered harshly, having wanted to say those words to him for ten years too long.
“Wait!”
I shook my head and proceeded to enter the restaurant. I had another monster to face. He’d have to just get used to disappointment. Lord knows I had.