22. Matthew
22
MATTHEW
W oof. Meow. Tweet Tweet. So many animals complained about being at the vet.
I approached the desk, alerting the receptionist of my arrival. “Matthew Adams,” I announced cheerily. “And Rocky. Sorry we’re late. Somebody pretended to need to use the bathroom.” I chuckled, looking down at the petrified dog waiting for his impending fate.
I turned to see none other than Audrey gaping at me with wide eyes.
“Good morning, Matthew,” Audrey said sheepishly, biting her lip.
“Audrey, hey! What brings you here?” I peeked into the carrier and saw a white striped cat hissing. “Friendly,” I remarked, smirking.
“Usually Oreo is. He just hates the vet,” Audrey said, defensively.
I couldn’t help but do a quick glance around the office, checking to see if Audrey had company.
“She’s not here. Cassie,” Audrey offered, patting the seat next to her and motioning for me to sit.
Rocky started for Oreo, and I tugged on the leash. “Sit,” I commanded, putting some distance between him and the cat. Rocky still seemed unsettled.
“Allow me.” Audrey crouched down next to Rocky and began petting him. “Hey, boy,” she cooed, scratching behind his ears.
I was amazed at Audrey’s ability to calm him so quickly, usually nothing worked. “You’re good with him. Is he your only pet?” I inquired as I gestured to Oreo.
“No, I have two other cats. They are all strays that I rescued. I love dogs too, but cats are usually the ones thrown out on the street. They could use a good home,” she commented. “Plus animals are easier than people.”
I nodded. I was surprised Audrey was being so nice to me. I could only imagine the horrible light I had been painted in. But yet she was nothing but kind.
I wanted to ask about Cassie, but I knew it was inappropriate, considering our last conversation. Cassie made it abundantly clear where we stood.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurted. Apparently a few days of not working had an effect on my filter and ability to have basic human interactions.
Audrey let out a snort, brushed the dog fur from her hands, and went back to the bench to check on Oreo, who was now purring.
“Oreo Martinez?” the nurse called, and I watched Audrey disappear into the backroom.
I fiddled with my phone and then flipped through a magazine. “Where’s Rocky?” Audrey asked as she walked into the waiting room once more.
“Rocky’s getting groomed and his nails cut,” I alerted Audrey, wanting to ask her so many things.
“To answer your question from before, I’m in no position to judge you, Matthew. First of all, whatever happened between you and Cassie is none of my business. As far as I can tell, you both made mistakes. I’m not going to pussyfoot around and say that Cassie is a saint because she’s my friend. But I’m also going to respect and support her.” She gave me a pointed look before continuing. “Most importantly, I, of all people, understand how one mistake can alter the entire trajectory of your life.”
I truly wasn’t expecting that answer, or for Audrey to be so very candid. I didn’t want to speak and interrupt her, so I simply motioned for her to continue. Audrey took a deep breath and looked solemnly in no particular direction.
“You do one wrong thing. One. And then there’s this domino effect. The pieces keep falling and falling, and you don’t know what to do.” Her voice had grown soft in tone but the meaning behind the words wasn’t lost on me.
I nodded, resonating with everything she was telling me.
“You seem like a good guy, Matthew. I’ve been around the block, so I know bad people. You’re hardly that. Have you messed up? Sure. But we all have in one way or another. Some of us are better at dealing with the pain than others. Some of us are still paying for the mistakes and bad choices we've made years ago.” Audrey smiled, wistfully. “I made a horrible mistake—well actually, a few mistakes—when I was sixteen.” She paused, taking another deep breath.
My interest in the matter piqued. “What happened?” I inquired, crossing my legs.
Audrey looked down at her hands and bit her lip. “I was a wild child. My parents worked a lot and were never home. I was lonely, so I partied. I drank and did drugs. All of those decisions led me to getting pregnant at seventeen. The father was a drug addict. We decided in spite of it all to keep the baby. My parents didn’t agree with that choice and kicked me out. My boyfriend picked me up from my parents’ house post-fight and I insisted on driving because he was high. It was so dark and foggy.” Audrey’s eyes filled with tears.
“I crashed the car into a pole. It killed Maddox, my boyfriend, instantly, and put me into early labor.” Audrey trailed off, looking at me, “The baby–Olivia—my daughter didn’t make it.” The tears streamed down Audrey’s face.
I handed her a tissue from the box on the end table beside us. “Audrey, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. It must have been enough reassurance because she continued her story.
“It was a humbling time having to beg my parents to pay for my daughter’s burial. And they did. But they never even gave me any information as to where her final resting spot is. Then they changed their phone numbers, leaving me without answers. Who does that?” Audrey laughed bitterly. “Granted, I’m not ready to face her. It’s been so long. I’m not worthy of visiting.”
She looked me in the eye and shrugged. “You see, I know all about mistakes. But you both still have a chance to make things right.” Audrey paused. “Cassie still loves you. She’s been through so much. You both have. But she’s terrified of getting hurt again. Her walls are sky high. It took me years to get her to break them down as far as she has. I would hate for you both to ruin your life, like I did. With so many regrets twenty years later,” Audrey admitted, earnestly. She stood and walked to get more tissues from the box.
I blinked and inhaled sharply. I wasn’t about to rebut Audrey, not when she was pouring her heart out, but I found it difficult to believe Cassie still loved me. The only thing that had given me solace about that exchange was that I didn’t see her face telling me those treacherous words. Nevertheless, I appreciated the sentiment Audrey was trying to convey.
I stood and moved beside her. “It's not too late, Audrey. You still can get closure. Forgiving yourself is the first step.”
“I don’t deserve forgiveness,” she spat. “What kind of mother am I? Most parents make their first mistakes after the child is born. I couldn’t even wait and I’m paying for it every day.” Audrey looked away.
“For what it’s worth, you are worthy. Look at your animals and even Cassie—you help people,” I reassured her, smiling softly.
Audrey wiped her eyes, pulling herself back together. “Thank you, Matthew. And thank you for listening to my story. I really do hope you both can work through your differences. You really are meant to be together.”
She walked to the desk to check how much longer Oreo would be. The receptionist gestured that she could go pick him up from the back room. Audrey scurried to pick up her baby, carrier in hand.
A few moments later, Oreo was going berserk in the carrier as Audrey paid and gave me a half hug goodbye. “Think about what I said.” She winked. “Give Rocky my best!”
“Rocky, come, boy.” I tugged his leash for the second time. The dog who was afraid of the vet now didn’t want to leave. I was convinced Rocky had a crush on one of the technicians.
Leaving the vet’s office, I started to reflect on my eye-opening conversation with Audrey. I surely didn’t anticipate Audrey to have such a sad past.
I was even more surprised to hear Audrey reveal that she believed Cassie still loved me. But I wasn’t clinging to that. I needed to listen to Cassie and respect her boundaries, the ones she so clearly set. If we were meant to be together, it would happen naturally. The more I forced the matter, the more I reminded myself of Wyatt, and that wasn’t an attribute I was proud of as of late.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the time. Twelve-thirty. Wow, the vet took forever today. I was supposed to be meeting Charlie in a half hour. School was out for some sort of teacher development day going on, and she wanted to spend time together. We had arranged for her to meet me at the office, but I’d been so absentminded lately that I forgot to tell her about my sabbatical.
While I dialed her number, I decided to stop for bagels. The teenage girl was a bottomless pit after all. Charlie ate more than Holden, and that was saying something.
Charlotte’s phone went straight to voicemail. My eyebrows furrowed. Charlie was glued to that phone so it was unlikely she didn’t see me call.
Maybe she was waiting in front of the office. I was in the neighborhood, so I might as well walk by and double check.
Rounding the corner, I saw the marble building across the street that once soaked up all of my energy. My phone started ringing and I answered it without a second thought. “Hello,” I said, reaching down to pet Rocky, who was getting antsy in the lunch hustle and bustle.
“Matthew. Hi. Um. I can’t meet you today.” Charlie choked the words out, the sound of her voice muffled. Wherever she was, it was extremely loud in the background.
“Charlotte, is everything okay?” I grew concerned. I’d been so wrapped up in my own turmoil lately that I’d let Charlie slip through the cracks. Fuck .
“Yeah, sure. I’m fine. Fine,” she said, whispering something softly to someone on the other end of the phone.
“Charlotte! What’s all that noise, and who are you talking to? Do you want me to come to you?” I demanded, pacing in front of a jewelry store.
“No!” Charlie shouted into the phone. “I mean no, Nia came back because she forgot her lunch. She was bitching because I didn’t vacuum the living room. As for the noise, I’m watching the Real Housewives . You know those old hags yell about anything.” She huffed, sounding winded. “Love you, Matty, but I gotta go!”
I stood in the middle of the sidewalk, stunned. Charlie had always been quirky and wild, but this took the cake.
It wasn’t lost on me that Charlie didn’t correct me when I called her Charlotte or the fact that Nia’s house only had hardwood floors.