34. Matthew
34
MATTHEW
T he past week had been quiet. Too quiet. News broke of a SEC investigation into Adams Point, and Wyatt and Parker were brought in for further questioning.
I expected Wyatt to practically break down my door or at least call. But nothing, not even a text from him or Liz.
Radio silence.
I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried.
The little bit of information I received was an update through Silas’s connection at the SEC. The only groundbreaking piece of news was that Arthur was called in for questioning shortly after Wyatt. Everything else pertaining to the case had been strictly hush hush.
All I wanted was for justice to be served and Parker not to be implicated in Wyatt and Liz’s illegal activities. There wasn’t a whole lot I could have done to prevent Parker from being part of the investigation, but I hoped that the evidence the team had dug up would be enough to help clear him of any wrongdoing.
After my talk with Parker and Joy at the party, in the back of my mind, I also worried about myself. Joy’s warning about the lengths people would go to in order to protect their secrets ran through my thoughts. I wasn’t naive to think that there would be no repercussions for the very public takedown of Wyatt. My adoptive father was a lot of things, but most of all, he was a proud man. Having his son punch him in front of a crowd of people didn’t seem like something he’d just brush off. I knew that Wyatt wasn’t going to let sleeping dogs lie.
Cassie stirred next to me, and I attempted to stop fidgeting. I didn’t want to wake her again. Every night this past week, I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, unable to shut off my thoughts long enough to get a good night’s rest. I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, seeing it wasn’t even five in the morning.
Even though I had my sleep aid back in the form of the woman I adored, after the whole debacle at the Harrises’, I couldn’t help but let my mind wonder what could have been. Cassie could have been adopted. She could have been happy. She could have had parents who chose her. Despite all her efforts to make herself undesirable, Parker and Joy saw through the facade. They wanted her.
When I told Cassie about Parker and Joy’s intentions, she obviously was happy to have been wanted, but she just couldn’t get past how evil Wyatt and Liz were. How they had taken yet another thing from her, and for what? Greed? Money? Power? How did her happiness change anything for them? Was it simply that they wanted everyone else to be miserable?
Cassie was saddened that they’d directed so much hatred toward her simply because of circumstances beyond her control. It wasn’t like she chose to grow up being poor. There was a silver lining in this all, and she was glad that I finally got to read her letter.
I took a deep breath, thinking of the letter I read countless times since leaving the anniversary party. I’d practically memorized it by this point.
Dear Matthew,
I think this is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. Being without you kills me. I want you to know that first and foremost. But I think after everything that has transpired, we need to take some time to find ourselves.
Growing up in chaos and constant madness, we never had a chance to become our own people, to learn what we liked about ourselves, or even how to have a functional relationship with anyone else.
Well at least I know I never had that chance. It seems like you might be faring better than me in that regard.
Leaving you never crossed my mind as what would be necessary, but I’m starting to see that I’ve never made choices for myself. It was always about us. Or you. I would always put myself last because maybe that’s what I thought I deserved. But you chose for yourself without considering me, and that really hurt.
Enjoy Japan. Despite what you may think, I am happy for you. I hope that we can talk when you get back and maybe start rebuilding a friendship. I miss my best friend.
I’m sorry I tossed the locket on the floor. I know how excited you were for me to open it after the party. You said you hoped the engraving would be my favorite gift yet. I don’t know what you meant by that, but I’m appreciative of the gesture nonetheless.
Please know I’m proud of you. I just need to choose myself now, so I can be proud of myself too.
Do you remember the promise you made to me where you vowed to always sit beside me when I was afraid, how you’d be there until the fears slipped away?
Well, the truth is, I am afraid, but I don’t think we can face what I’m afraid of together, Matty. Not when the very thing I’m afraid of is you, or rather who you’re becoming.
I have to face this alone. One day soon, I hope we can face things together again.
I’ll always love you. Even if I don’t like you right now.
Love,
Cassie
While our time apart killed us both, I realized after reading Cassie’s letter, the separation might have done us both some good. We needed the distance to grow into the people we were today. Cassie had now built a life outside of me, and I couldn’t be prouder. It hadn’t always been that way.
Cassie was right in the fact that she never thought about herself. Her entire life had been about caring for others and their needs. She focused her whole life around me, to the point of sabotaging her chances at a family.
I winced at the thought. Getting past all that we had gone through wasn’t going to be as easy as passionate rain shower reunions or endless hours curled up under the covers together. We both knew that we had hard work to do and a lot of things to discuss. Once everything blew over with the investigation, we wanted to start therapy, both separately and as a couple. I figured all it could do was strengthen us.
I turned to face away from Cassie once more and longed for sleep to take me. I had just shut my eyes when next thing I knew, I was being woken by a ringing phone.
Cassie shuffled in her blanket cocoon, as she tried to release her arms.
I opened one eye to watch the show, biting back a laugh. I glanced over at the clock—eight in the morning. Three hours of sleep wasn’t too bad.
“It isn’t funny!” she scolded as I smirked at her.
“Hello,” she muttered as she blindly answered the phone.
The person on the other line said something I couldn’t quite make out and Cassie replied quickly. “Fine, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Cassie sat and pulled the blanket across her chest. “Now you’re getting greedy. Twenty-five minutes, Charlotte.”
A week had gone by since we texted a selfie to Charlie, who was our biggest advocate, with the caption, “your Parent Trap worked.” She never responded, and I had wondered if she would ever come around and call us again.
I looked at Cassie questioningly as she grumbled goodbye to our foster sister.
“She’s in the city and wants to meet me. We’re going to get bagels and head back here to ‘irritate’ you the rest of the day. Her words not mine,” Cassie explained, stretching as she stood up from the bed. “And I was told to hurry since she just got off the train and was going to start walking.” Cassie laughed. “So you better get out of bed and take a shower, mister.”
Her bare back exposed, I leaned over and ran a hand down her spine. “She hasn't called or text for weeks and now she expects breakfast and to test my patience?” I rolled my eyes, as I tried to grab Cassie to pull her back in bed.
“Does it surprise you? Charlie is Charlie. I can’t wait to hear her excuses.” Cassie laughed, pulling on one of my hoodies.
I ogled her as she adjusted the sweater.
“What?” she whispered, looking down as she pulled on her jeans.
“Nothing. You just look good in my clothes.” I smirked, folding my hands behind my head, leaning back to enjoy the view. “Are you sure you don’t have an extra ten minutes?” I teased, waggling my eyebrows.
Cassie gave me the side eye. “Thank you, but you must be joking. If I’m not on the move in five minutes, that girl will burst in here and no doubt will be traumatized with the sounds that come out of this room.”
“True. You are pretty loud,” I agreed, bashfully nodding.
Cassie threw a pillow at my head just as my phone rang.
When I leaned over to check the display, I recognized the number as Wyatt and Liz’s house number.
Took him long enough. This should be interesting.
“Hello,” I treaded lightly, waiting for the yelling to begin.
Cassie leaned against the dresser, curiosity written all over her face.
Instead of my adoptive father screaming profanities at me, I was met with Rowena’s hushed whisper. “Mr. Matthew, I’m so sorry.”
“Rowena, what are you sorry about?” I questioned, sitting up in bed.
Cassie took a seat in front of me on top of the blanket, wearing a puzzled look on her face.
“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but Ms. Liz passed away last night. Mr. Wyatt said not to call but I couldn’t do that. I had to tell you. It’s only right,” she said, her voice coming out garbled as if her hand was covering the phone in an effort to keep the conversation quiet.
“Thank you for telling me. Take care of yourself,” I said, sincerely. Taking a deep breath, I set the phone down in front of me. My gaze remained unfixed on it as I tried to process my feelings at the news. I was stunned. I knew Liz was not faring well and it was a matter of time, but it still felt sudden and I couldn’t help feeling conflicted about it.
Cassie broke me out of his reverie. “Matty?” she called, waving her hand in front of my face.
My eyes met her wide brown ones, and my shoulders slumped. “Liz died late last night.” I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
Silence filled the room. Cassie gulped but refused to move despite needing to meet Charlie.
“Are you okay?” she asked, playing with the threads of the blankets.
I nodded solemnly. “Yes, it’s been a long time coming, and I’ve come to terms with it.” I grabbed her hand in mine. “After what they stole from you, I can’t bring myself to feel sorry,” I stated, earnestly.
Cassie shook her head, furiously. “Don’t talk like that. She was still a mother figure to you. Please don’t compartmentalize your grief for me.” She looked down, biting her lip.
“Cass, look at me,” I said, and her eyes raised to meet mine. “Nobody is as important to me as you. Nobody. I can’t get past any of it. I won’t. It’s true she may have been something to me in the past. Now she is just a stranger,” I confessed, giving her a kiss on the lips.
She leaned in farther, trying to deepen the kiss, but we were interrupted by the incessant buzzing of her phone. With a sigh, she pulled back and looked down at the caller ID. “Charlie,” she announced. “I better go. I’ll see you in a little bit.” She kissed me once more on the lips before standing and walking to the elevator.
“I love you, baby,” I called out to the foyer as she slipped on her shoes.
“Love you more.”
“Impossible,” I whispered to the empty room.