Chapter 25
T he gray light from the window told Harper she still had time before the alarm, but falling back to sleep was not an option. The day she had dreaded was here. Never again would she wake up to find herself cradled in Luke’s arms.
So many things ended today. She wasn’t ready to let go, but it wasn’t her choice.
She studied him in his sleep as she had their first morning together. She let her fingers trace the phoenix over his heart, silently willing him to be safe while memorizing every plane, every line of his body.
How was she supposed to go back to a regular life after this?
Luke’s eyes opened. Sleepy hazel stared back at her.
Harper sighed and cupped her hand to his face.
Luke kissed her palm. “Are you ready?”
“Nope.”
“We’re still good, right?”
Harper smiled. “Yeah, we’re good. I’m just going to miss you for the next ten years or so.”
He pulled her in to him and tucked her head under his jaw. Luke pressed a sweet kiss to the top of her head and held her to him until his alarm sounded.
They met Luke’s family at the base. The parking lot was packed with family members saying their goodbyes. Harper tried not to stare at the bus in front of them. The bus that would take Luke Garrison forever from her life.
There wasn’t time to waste. The schedule had to be kept.
Luke, dressed in fatigues, stowed his pack on the bus and returned to them. Harper watched him walk down the line, hugging and shaking hands. Claire dragged him in for a long hug. “Come home safe,” she ordered.
“Don’t I always, Ma?”
He shook Charlie’s hand and gave James a resounding slap on his back. “Don’t forget to mow my lawn, lackey,” he reminded his brother.
“Don’t forget to come home to annoy the shit out of me.”
“Boys!” Claire censured them.
Luke moved on to Sophie and Josh, wrapping them both in a bear hug. “Take care, Soph,” he told his sister.
“You, too, Uncle Luke. We’ll be missing you.” She sniffled, and Josh patted her face.
And then Luke was standing in front of Harper.
He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
“Thank you, Harper. For everything.”
A single tear slid down her cheek. She shook her head. “I should be thanking you. This was the best month of my life.”
“Tell me one more time.”
“I love you Lucas Garrison, and you’d better come home safely to your family, or I’ll come back and kick your ass.”
He grinned. “That’s my girl.”
He lowered his lips to hers and held, softly, tenderly. She could taste the salt of her tears on his lips.
Luke pulled back slowly and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. When Harper’s lip trembled, he pulled her in tight.
“I’ll be thinking about you,” he murmured in her ear. “Be good. Be safe.”
“Back at you, Captain.”
He ran his thumb across her lower lip and smiled.
When he turned, Harper almost grabbed him. She wasn’t ready for this. She needed just a little more time .
She watched him stride across the parking lot where the rest of the unit was forming a line at the bus. She was proud and scared and sad all at the same time.
Sophie’s arm settled around her shoulder, anchoring Harper to the spot.
“It’s going to be okay, Harp.” But her voice wavered, too.
Claire stepped to Harper’s other side and put her arm around her waist. “We’re all going to be okay. Together.”
Harper nodded, eyes never leaving Luke’s retreating form. She knew there was no “together” in her future. She was an outsider, not family.
Luke paused on the lowest step of the bus and turned. He raised an arm in a wave.
Harper blew him a kiss. She saw his fingers close and smiled.
Harper climbed into the driver’s seat where Luke had sat barely an hour ago and pulled the door shut. She hid the tears that were starting behind sunglasses and waved to Luke’s family as she guided the truck out of the parking lot and back onto the road.
He was gone. The man who had her heart was forever out of her life, and she was expected to carry on as if everything was normal.
How did the people in real relationships with children and responsibilities do it?
Wave stoically as their partners, their rocks, their hearts, left them to live another life.
One that could never be fully shared or understood.
A sob escaped her, and she pulled over to the side of the road, her vision clouded with tears that scalded her eyes. The ache in her chest spread to her throat.
Her heart broke for the men and women separated by war and duty.
The fear that clutched at the hearts of those at home, never quite dissipating.
At least in their case, the ones left behind could work to build their lives and the lives of their family so the man or woman they loved could come home to it.
Harper’s life, as she had so quickly grown accustomed to it, was gone. Never to return. Even after Luke came back. He wasn’t coming home to her. Benevolence would no longer be her home.
She let silent sobs rack her shoulders until her head sank to the steering wheel. She loved him.
She loved him now, and she knew for certain she would love Luke Garrison for the rest of her life.
From the truck’s console, Harper’s phone signaled a text.
She wanted to ignore it. She would rather wallow and wail on the side of the road for as long as it took to feel better.
There was no room for the outside world right now.
But shutting down wasn’t an option. It was never an option.
She pulled her phone from the console and swiped the screen. It was a text from Luke.
Stay.