Chapter 2
Sebastian
Don’t even think about crapping out on me tonight, Sebastian, or I’ll—
I hit the delete button on my phone before any more of the message could play. There’d already been half a dozen more like it that I’d only partially listened to because they were just repeats of the conversation I’d had with Rick that morning.
The sad thing was that I’d listened to those other messages in the hopes that they’d somehow start off with different words.
Like, I’m sorry, Sebastian.
Or, I messed up, Sebastian.
Hell, I would have even been glad to hear him call me Seb, a nickname that I’d hated from the moment he’d started using it.
As long as it would have been paired with some kind of statement about missing me or needing me or wanting me, I would have been dialing his number before the message even finished playing.
And wasn’t that just a sad commentary of what my life had become?
My phone buzzed in my hand, but I didn’t look at it because I knew who it was. Rick was the only one who ever texted me.
Anymore.
It hadn’t always been like that.
But sometime between the night Rick had searched me out backstage after a performance and introduced himself, and the party two years later when I’d met Rick’s long-time partner, Darren, I’d managed to alienate the few close friends who’d tried to warn me off the just-a-little-too-charming Rick.
By the time I’d seen news of Rick’s wedding to the prominent, older, very successful and very wealthy attorney, there hadn’t been anyone left to throw my own words about Rick’s devotion to me back in my face.
And I’d no longer been the same na?ve young man who’d fallen so foolishly down the rabbit hole of blind trust and unconditional love.
But telling Rick I was done and actually being done with him had been two very different things.
Truth be told, during some of my weakest moments when I was dealing with the loss of my dream or the memory of the act that had stolen that dream away from me, I pretended Rick was still mine.
I pretended that he was just a phone call away.
Sadly, there’d been a few times where he had only been a phone call away.
I wasn’t sure what the worst part of letting Rick come back into my life those times was…
the fact that he’d turned me into the very thing I’d promised I’d never be, or that I’d let myself believe each time that things were different.
But the formula was always the same. Rick would show up, fuck me into the mattress or couch or floor or wherever we ended up, and within seconds of pulling out of me he was patting my ass, telling me how hot I was and then saying he had to get home.
Home.
To his husband.
Rick’s wedding should have been enough to push me off the cliff I’d been balancing on the edge of for more than two years, but ironically, it’d been the clueless Darren who’d finally woken me up.
I’d nearly choked on my own tongue when I’d run into the man at a department store.
We’d both been shopping for a gift for Rick, though Darren hadn’t realized that fact.
In some strange desire to prove to myself that everything Rick had told me about Darren was true, I’d made conversation with the older man.
But there’d been nothing controlling or unkind or disingenuous about the man. In fact, I’d liked him.
A lot.
And that had made me feel like the lowest form of life on the planet… until the kindhearted man had told me what kind of gift he’d been looking for to give Rick.
There’d been no way to describe how low I’d felt after that.
As soon as I’d gotten home, without a gift for Rick, I’d started looking for a place to rent outside of the city. When Rick had shown up that very night for a booty call, I’d told him we were through and I’d meant every word.
That’d been six weeks ago.
Fortunately, I hadn’t succumbed to the inherent loneliness that had followed, and Rick’s booty calls had gone unanswered.
I’d thought for sure that denying him the only thing he’d ever wanted me for would have been enough to send him back to his husband, but it had seemed to have the opposite effect.
Rick was calling me more now than he ever had in the two years we’d been together, and even though I hadn’t given him my new address, he’d clearly had no trouble tracking it down.
I was half tempted to tell Rick that if he didn’t stop calling, I’d tell his husband about us.
But not only did I not want to hurt Darren like that, I also didn’t want to press my luck with Rick. He’d never laid a hand on me in anger before, but today when he’d pulled me away from my new neighbor, his grip had hurt and I hadn’t liked the look in his eye.
As I eased my body into the shower so I could get ready for the evening, my thoughts drifted to the hunk of yumminess living next door.
Devon.
I actually heard myself saying his name out loud before I realized what I was doing.
Devon Rhodes was hot.
No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Everything about him pinged all my boxes.
From his heavy build to his light hair to his kind gray-blue eyes.
Oh, yeah, and his protectiveness.
Okay, so maybe he’d just been protecting his sweet little dog from Rick’s temper, but I’d let myself pretend for a moment that maybe he’d been acting on my behalf just a bit too.
I’d gotten the warm and fuzzies when he’d done that until I’d remembered that I hadn’t been the target of his growly show of strength.
It was all I’d been able to do after that to remind myself not to throw myself into the guy’s arms for however long I needed in order to absorb some of his courage.
But I didn’t do that anymore.
I wasn’t throwing myself at any man ever again. I’d watched my mother do that for nearly my entire life, and no way in hell did I want to turn out like her.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I was doing just fine on my own. I just needed to keep taking things one day at a time. And all I had to do today was get through one night of being surrounded by happy, loving couples without telling them they were fools for thinking that love and romance even existed.
Oh, and also not fall on my face during my so-called performance.
“Yeah, good luck with that, Sebastian,” I murmured as I hurried through the rest of my shower.
My knee was hurting like a son of a bitch but taking one of my prescription pain pills hadn’t been an option.
So I’d settled for popping a couple of ibuprofen.
I was hoping it would take the edge off by the time I got to the hotel where the fundraiser was being held.
I’d do a short routine that would hopefully satisfy the guests then make polite conversation as I signed autographs and came up with benign responses to the inevitable questions about whether I’d be rejoining my dance company.
Then I’d get the hell out of there and celebrate Valentine’s Day like every single red-blooded American did – by eating fattening ice cream in front of the television while cursing the greeting card and chocolate companies for creating such a stupid holiday to begin with.
Hell, maybe I’d go all out tonight and use a glass of wine (or three) to wash down the pain pill I was going to swallow the second I got home.
I couldn’t help but let my thoughts drift to Devon again.
He looked like a beer drinker. With those strong fingers, he’d probably break the delicate stem of a wineglass.
A shiver snaked through my spine as I considered what those fingers would feel like stroking all over my body.
His skin had been rough when he’d shaken my hand, but not in a bad way. They’d been work-roughened hands.
They’d been delicious.
Reel it in, Sebastian. He’s off limits.
Even if he turned out to be gay – which I highly doubted, because life just wasn’t kind enough to plop me down next to the hottest guy I’d ever seen and have him play for my team – I was going to keep my distance.
Okay, so maybe I’d let myself have a naughty fantasy or two about him tonight when I was drunk off my ass.
Wall sex.
Yeah, we’d have us a little wall sex because I’d always wanted to try that.
Even the idea of Devon pinning me to the wall with his big body as I wrapped my legs around his waist had my dick filling in anticipation. I almost dropped my hand to take care of the problem when my phone beeped.
“Fuck,” I breathed as I glanced at the latest message from Rick.
The kids are counting on you, Seb…
Devon was right. The guy really was a dick.
I snatched up my phone and typed, I’m leaving in a few, hit the send button and tossed my phone into my bag that was sitting on the counter.
My costume and other personal belongings like my wallet were already in there.
It still went against the grain to put my wallet in my bag, but no way in hell was I going to carry it on my person.
I’d learned the hard way what a mistake that was.
I quickly pulled on the rest of my clothes and grabbed the bag before heading toward the front door. I came to a jolting stop when the doorbell rang.
Holy hell, was the fucker actually coming to escort me to the damn event to make sure I showed up?
I wasn’t foolish enough to think Rick would actually be offering to give me a ride just so I wouldn’t have to take the bus.
I almost laughed out loud as I thought about how awkward it would be to ride in the back seat of his and Darren’s car…
the back seat I’d let Rick fuck me in more than once before I’d known about Darren.
A sick feeling washed through me, followed by swift anger. What if the asshole had another kind of ride in mind?
God knew it wouldn’t be the first time.
No way, not happening.
Never again.
I strode to the door as best I could, considering my bum leg, and practically ripped it off the hinges as I snapped, “If you think for a second I’m going to let you fuck me—”