Chapter 6
Sebastian
He was gone the next morning.
I knew that the second I woke up. Yeah, my head felt like it was going to explode, I wanted to puke, and my mouth may as well have been stuffed full of cotton, but all those things were secondary to the loss I felt when I woke up and didn’t feel Devon’s comforting presence at my back.
Unfortunately, I was one of those drunks who didn’t have the luxury of forgetting their idiotic behavior. And while the stuff I’d said at the fundraising event had been pretty damn bad all on its own, it was all the stuff I’d said and done to Devon that would come back to haunt me.
And all the things he’d said and done to me.
What probably stung the most was that I’d screwed up something so badly with a man I felt more for in five minutes than I had after two years with Rick.
Admittedly, it’d hurt the night before when Rick had announced he and Darren were pregnant via surrogate, but it hadn’t really been about that.
I’d had time to consider that Rick was willing to have kids with someone besides me when I’d first encountered Darren in that department store.
He’d been buying Rick a present so he could surprise him with the news that they’d found a surrogate to carry their child.
I’d had time to accept that Rick wasn’t a good person and that I’d been lucky to get out of the relationship, but even all this time later, I was still reeling from how easily I’d given up on the things I wanted just so I wouldn’t be by myself anymore.
Seeing Rick had brought back a lot of those emotions, but then life had decided to throw Devon into the mix and everything had been amplified by a thousand.
I’d felt like a fool for ever giving so much of myself to an asshole like Rick when there were fantastic men out there like Devon.
I’d known from the moment he’d come into my yard to get his dog that he was one of the good ones.
I’d never had that same feeling about Rick.
But then everything had gone to shit when he’d kissed me in front of Rick and Darren.
I thought he’d done it because he felt sorry for me, but then why had he done what he had last night when he’d gotten me home?
I’d practically begged him to fuck me, but he hadn’t.
But he also hadn’t just left me there like that, either.
He’d made what should have been a meaningless encounter – like the hundreds I’d had with Rick over the years – into something Rick never had.
All about me.
And when it’d been over, he hadn’t just gotten himself off (or let me do it) and walked out. No, he’d stayed. And based on the fact that I was now lying naked in bed, at some point he’d moved me to the soft mattress. I just wasn’t sure if he’d stayed any longer or not.
I glanced around the room on the off chance his clothes were strewn across a chair or something, but they weren’t.
I bit back my disappointment and flipped over, intent on smelling the pillow on the other side of the bed to see if his scent was there.
The second I did, I got a face full of wet, smelly tongue.
“Oh my God,” I muttered. There was a light thumping on the bed, then my face was being doused in more wet kisses that smelled of kibble.
My heart soared as Devon’s dog plastered himself across my upper body and covered me in doggie kisses.
“Kirby,” I whispered happily.
“Hey, what did I tell you about not trying to steal my man,” I heard Devon say. Kirby disappeared and I looked up just in time to see the little dog bound to the end of the bed and wag his tail happily at Devon, who was standing in the bedroom doorway. He was covered in sweat and dirt.
“You’re here,” I said stupidly as I sat upright, not caring that I wore nothing beneath the blanket.
“Of course I am,” Devon said. “I told you I would be.”
He moved into the room and stopped next to the bed. “I didn’t trust myself to keep my hands off you this morning, so I got up to work on your garden. But I left you in capable hands… er, um, paws.”
Devon patted Kirby as the dog bounced between him and me.
“You’re here,” I repeated dumbly because my muddled brain and joyous heart were having trouble meeting in the middle.
“I’m here,” Devon replied softly, like he knew what I was going through. He leaned down and kissed me softly. “Morning, baby. Or afternoon, rather.”
I tried to deepen the kiss, but Devon pulled back. He held out his hands. “Let me get washed up. Then we can talk. Do you mind if I use your shower?”
He was still here.
I managed a nod, but nothing more.
Devon stared at me for another beat, kissed me again, then disappeared into my bathroom. Kirby jumped into my lap. I squeezed him as reality began to set in.
Devon had stayed.
He’d kept his word.
But what exactly did it mean? Had he just been worried about me because I’d had too much to drink? He’d said he wanted to talk. About what? Was he going to let me down gently? Tell me last night had been a mistake? That he was really straight and he’d just felt sorry for me or something?
“No,” I said to Kirby.
“No,” I repeated, then I gently pushed Kirby off me and climbed out of the bed. I strode naked across my room and into the bathroom, not bothering to knock on the half-open door. I gulped at the sight of Devon’s naked backside as he pulled his pants and underwear off his legs.
His glorious, tight, amazing backside.
“Hey, you okay?” Devon asked when he saw my reflection in the mirror. He turned to face me.
There were no words to describe his front side. But my mouth no longer felt stuffed with cotton because it was filling with drool.
“What is it?” I blurted when I managed to lift my eyes to Devon’s.
He actually glanced down at his dick. “Well, um, it’s…” he began, then snapped his mouth shut. “It’s average,” he finally said. “I think. I mean, I figure it’s proportionate to my height but—”
Oh my God, did he really think I was talking about his dick?
“Not that!” I snapped impatiently because I felt like I was going to lose it. “That is fucking… it’s… Jesus, are you kidding me right now?”
Why could I not speak normal words?
“Sebastian—”
“What is it you want to talk about?” I interrupted.
“What?”
I could feel myself going off the deep end, but I was helpless to stop it. “You said we’d talk after you got cleaned up. What are you going to say? That last night was a mistake? That you’re straight? That you were experimenting? That you… you didn’t mean what you said about me being yours?”
That last part had me choking on the words because now that I’d forced this conversation, I realized I didn’t actually want to hear the answer.
But that was the way it’d been with Rick. I’d been too much of a coward to admit that it wasn’t working and that it never would. I’d known that long before I’d found out the man was in a relationship.
I wasn’t going to do the same thing with Devon.
“Sebastian—”
I felt like I was going to throw up. I’d wanted the truth but now I was too scared to hear it.
“You told Kirby not to try and steal me. Why would you say that if you didn’t kind of mean it, Devon?
But you keep calling me Sebastian today, not Bastian, so that must mean you’re trying to distance yourself and I told myself I’d be okay with that and I am but I’m really not and I think you should go because I’m really not okay with it. Okay?”
I turned to leave the bathroom but didn’t get far before Devon’s fingers closed around my upper arm and he gently dragged me back against him.
“No, Devon, I can’t—” I began, but then my back was flush with his front and he turned my head so he could claim my mouth.
I didn’t even try to resist his tongue as it sought entry.
I felt boneless by the time he maneuvered us both so we were standing facing the mirror.
He linked my fingers with his, then planted both our hands on the vanity.
The position had him leaning over my back.
His stiff cock was pressed against my ass.
“Look at us,” he commanded. He sounded pissed.
I looked up. His eyes met mine in the reflection.
He released one of my hands long enough to spit in his palm and reach between our bodies.
I groaned when he split my crack open enough so he could notch his now slick dick between the globes of my ass.
His spit made it easy for his shaft to slide up and down my crack as he pumped his hips against mine.
I moaned and dropped my eyes. Devon’s lips closed over my shoulder and then he gently bit down on me to get my attention.
Of course, he already had my complete and full attention.
“Now does that answer your question about whether or not I’m straight?”
I managed a nod. It wasn’t so much the fact that he was eagerly fucking my crease; it was the vehemence with which he’d spoken that convinced me.
“Your name,” he said next. “That’s another thing you’re worried about, right?”
I felt like a fool but nodded anyway. My own words were coming back to haunt me.