9. Shilo
Shilo
T he last time I was in this elevator, I was so nervous I almost passed out.
Thinking back to that night in August, I recognize now how extremely reckless it was. God, he could have been a serial killer or something, but I followed a stranger up to his penthouse because I was horny?
In my defense, all my blood was busy fueling the wrong head. Much like it is now. As I watch the numbers tick up on the elevator to Ryann’s condo, I palm my dick over my sweats.
I’ve been annoyingly hard since that day in his office when I humped his shoe—which I’m still embarrassed about, by the way. Never thought he’d actually agree to my offer of getting each other off. Together. Mutually. Yeah...I may or may not have jerked it last night and this morning to the idea.
As the elevator stops at the penthouse floor, doors opening with a resounding ding, I swallow my nerves and step into the foyer. Other than a text asking if we were still on for tonight, which Ryann sent a dry yes to, I haven’t heard from him all day. It makes this even more daunting because I’m unsure what to expect. Will he...try to have sex with me again? Will it burn like last time? Do I want it to?
Bare feet pad over the tile to my left, and Ryann steps out of the living room dressed in nothing but joggers, inked torso on display.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” he says, dragging a hand through his dark hair as he leans a hip against the entryway, and I take a moment to admire his tan exposed skin. It’s jarring to see him in something other than the suits I’ve gotten used to over the last few weeks.
“I almost didn’t,” I find myself saying, mouth dry at the sight of his tattooed abs, a thick line of hair leading from his belly button down to the hem of his pants. Last time, I hardly got a chance to study his body. Examine that burn scar on his leg.
“What changed your mind?”
Glancing up briefly, I twist my lips at the bulge currently tenting my crotch. “It’s been hard for almost twenty-four hours, and I think I’m getting lightheaded.”
Ryann snorts, pushing away from the wall as he strolls toward the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. “Come on, I’ll make you something quick to eat.”
“But I already ate.” Following him with a frown, I stop short just before an island, taking in the white granite counters and dark wooden cabinets.
He pauses, turning to throw me a skeptical glance over his shoulder. “Recently?”
“Yes, Dad.” I roll my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat when a rumbling hum hits my ears.
“I think you mean Daddy.”
Inhaling sharply, I choke on my spit, coughing as I meet his amused gaze. “I am not calling you Daddy.”
Nope, hell no.
“I guess ‘sir’ will have to do.”
“How about I just call you Boss?”
He gives me a ghost of a smile, barely twitching his lips, as he leans against the counter and crooks a finger. “Come here.”
God, that’s sexy.
Heartbeat ramping up, I make my way over to him slowly, a surprised squeak leaving my throat when he grips my waist and spins, lifting me onto the counter before stepping in between my thighs.
He pushes my jacket off my shoulders as his thumb swipes my bottom lip, minty breath brushing my face when he tilts his head thoughtfully. “Was I your first kiss?”
“Not technically.” I eye his abs, trailing my palms along the ridges, muscles flexing under my touch. “I kissed Samantha Rawley in the sixth grade, just a peck, and then I gagged after.”
He lets loose a small laugh. “Is that when you realized you were gay?”
“Kinda. My obsession with Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender should have given it away, though.”
“I have no clue what that is.”
The tip of my finger slides over his nipple, causing him to inhale sharply. “Then you’re missing out on probably one of the greatest shows ever.”
“Shilo, look at me.” He circles my throat, angling my face to softly press his lips to mine while his golden-green eyes keep me trapped. With his free arm, he pulls me closer, sealing our bodies as our tongues slide together, hot and slick.
My lids sink closed when he slips a hand under my shirt, lightly grazing his nails down my spine, the friction of my dick between us so good that I have to break away and pinch myself at the base over my sweats to keep from embarrassing myself again .
“We need to work on your stamina,” Ryann chuckles when I groan, lifting me off the counter. My legs wrap around him automatically, arms locking behind his neck when he tries to set me down, and he gives me an exasperated look before walking us toward the living room. “Don’t tell me you’re a clinger, doll face.”
That pet name lights me up, exactly like it did the first time he called me it.
“I don’t know what I am. Never done this before, remember?”
He huffs, prying my arms off to toss my body onto the couch, where I bounce with an oomph . And then he’s climbing on top, pinning me to the cushions with his thick thighs while he buries his face in my neck. “Other than the last time you were here.”
“That doesn’t count,” I squirm, the feeling of his stubble tickling my skin. “You were drunk, and I was, uh...distracted.”
“Distracted, hm?” He bites down on my throat, eliciting a squeak from me before leaning back. Dark strands of hair fall over his brow, a stark contrast to the carefully styled way he wears his hair at work. I think I like him better this way.
His hands find their way under the front of my t-shirt, causing me to tense, and he pauses as he studies my face intently. “Can I take this off?”
Dropping my gaze, I shake my head, not brave enough for him—or anyone—to see me like that yet. Or ever.
Ryann stays quiet for a long moment, so I explore his body with my hands to mask the anxiety knotting my stomach. He’s so much bigger than me, shoulders wide and chest broad. We’re both hard, his solid cock poking my stomach from underneath his pants, and I boldly squeeze my fingers around it.
“Fuck,” he breathes, dropping his head as he thrusts slightly. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
My eyes fly to his face, alarmed, and I try to sit up. “What, why? D-did I do something wrong?”
“Relax, I just said that we shouldn’t.” He puts a hand on my chest to push me back down. “Not that we won’t. I’m an evil son of a bitch, and you’re too tempting.” Bending to steal another kiss, he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip. “God, I want to corrupt you. Take that innocent light in your eyes and turn it dark. I’m going to hell.”
“I’m not that innocent,” I argue against his mouth, growing irritated when he throws me a disbelieving glance. “I’m not . I...watch porn and stuff.”
He lifts a brow, trailing his hands down my torso before hooking his fingers under the waistband of my sweats. “And stuff? What kind of stuff?”
“Um...” My brain short circuits when he slowly pulls down my pants, releasing my dick. “Chatrooms.”
“And what are you doing in these chatrooms, doll?” He strokes me firmly, swiping a thumb over my leaking tip, a soft whimper leaving my throat.
“T-talking. Sometimes swapping pics or videos.” I try to thrust up into his fist, but he still has me pinned, working my length so slowly that my legs tremble.
“Mm, you naughty boy. I don’t think I like that.” Moving down my body, Ryann pauses with his face inches from my shaft as he meets my gaze, eyes flashing. “From now on, while we’re doing this, you don’t talk to anyone else like that except me. Understand?”
My first instinct is to scoff, tell him that he doesn’t control me, but then his warm mouth envelopes my cock, and every word leaves my brain except—
“Oh, god,” I moan as he takes me to the back of his throat, swallowing and swirling his tongue in a way that has my balls tightening instantly. It feels better than I’ve ever imagined, the sight of my length disappearing into his wet lips so damn hot that the whole thing ends pretty quickly.
I’m coming before I can even warn him, my back arching off the couch as I shoot onto his tongue with a strangled cry, fingers gripping the cushions so hard I’m surprised the leather doesn’t rip.
He takes it all, humming in approval while I fill his mouth. When I’m finally finished, because I swear it goes on forever, he leans up to pull out his cock, dipping his head to spit all over it.
“Holy fuck,” I murmur dazedly, watching him work his dick with my cum as lube, and he glances up bemusedly.
“Watch your mouth, or I’ll have to put something in it.”
Pursing my lips, I squint up at him. “Prove it.”
He freezes, hazel eyes blazing with fire, before hauling me up by the back of my neck.
“Let me be perfectly clear,” he bites out, gripping my jaw with one hand until I’m forced to open it, “I don’t make idle threats, Shilo.”
When his cock presses between my lips, I accept it eagerly, tasting myself on his skin as he slowly pumps in and out of my mouth. My jaw aches as I widen it to accommodate his size, and a gag takes me by surprise when he hits the back of my tonsils.
“You’re gorgeous,” he groans, running his knuckles down my face as he holds me in place by my hair. “God, you’re doing so good. Suck in your cheeks for me. Breathe through your nose.”
I do as he says, my eyes starting to water as my dick swells again. Reaching down, I stroke myself, whimpering around his length, the taste of his precum mixing with mine. Ryann thumbs away the tears spilling onto my cheeks, smiling wickedly as he drops his gaze to where my hand moves up and down my shaft.
“Definitely not innocent.” He pulls out, allowing me to inhale a deep breath. “You going to make yourself come again while you suck my cock, doll face?”
Nodding eagerly, I lick my lips, feeling suddenly empty without him in my mouth, and I grab onto his hip to bring him back to where I want him. He doesn’t let me, though, keeping himself inches away with a small laugh, and I lift my eyes pleadingly.
“Please,” I beg, close to spilling over a second time, and Ryann takes a ragged breath.
“Jesus, the way you look right now,” he says thickly, easing himself back into my mouth. “So fucking sweet and dirty all at once. It’s killing me.”
A sigh of relief leaves my nostrils, his heavy weight on my tongue like a blanket to the senses, and I lean back against the armrest while he takes control. The way his body vibrates tells me that he’s measuring his movements, careful not to thrust too far into my throat, but a piece of me wants to see him let go. Fall apart. Lose that disciplined demeanor he wears like a mask and just use me.
My second orgasm slams into me, covering my hand and shirt with the sticky mess as I moan around his cock, and his thrusts falter.
“I’m going to come. Will you swallow?”
Closing my eyes, I nod and brace for it. He coats my tongue with a growl, cradling my face, thick ropes of cum flooding my throat. It’s not the slightly bitter taste that makes me choke—I’ve tasted my own before—but the amount that has me coughing so hard I swear sperm starts to seep out of my nose.
“S-so sorry,” I gasp after he leaves my mouth, slapping at my chest while I hack up a lung. “Think I inhaled some. Might die.”
Honestly, I’m expecting him to roll his eyes and get annoyed. Maybe even snort. What shocks me, though, is the laugh that bursts out of him. Just one, a deep guffaw that seems to take him off guard from how his lips immediately tighten.
“You’re fine. I should have warned you that it would be a lot.” Climbing off the couch, he tucks himself away before stepping over to the sink behind the bar in the corner, turning it on to dampen a rag. He brings it to me, and I wipe up my hands and shirt as best I can while I eye him curiously.
“You didn’t come that much last time.”
Ryann says nothing, only watches me with folded arms, and I put my dick away before standing. His words from two months ago replay in my mind, causing me to shift on my feet awkwardly, which makes me realize I didn’t even take off my shoes. Jeez.
“Is...” Biting my lip, I turn toward the island in the kitchen, where my jacket still rests. “Is that why you didn’t...have sex with me tonight? Because it wasn’t good before?”
A heavy silence follows the question, making my skin crawl as I zip up my jacket to hide the stain on my shirt. The longer it stretches on, the worse I feel about what just happened, which makes me mad because he told me I wouldn’t be able to handle this. But I can. I know I can, and I won’t let him see otherwise. Even if the thought of him not liking my body makes me want to run home, climb under the covers and never come out.
“Makes sense.” I clear my throat, tucking a loose wave behind my ear, forcing my voice to remain steady. “I’m sure you’ve been with guys more experienced than me. Kansas was probably better at it.”
Ryann sighs heavily, a sound I’ve come to hate over the last few weeks, and his bare feet slap on the tile somewhere behind me. A sliding glass door opens, followed by a cold chill that blows into the room.
“When you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, join me on the balcony,” he barks, slamming the door shut behind him.
Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away, feeling like an idiot for letting my insecurities show, essentially proving him right. Sure, he called me gorgeous, but only because I was sucking him off and I was fully clothed. He didn’t mean me . Just what I was doing for him.
Jesus, Shilo, pull it together . Or this whole thing will end before it even starts, and I’ll probably never get to experience this again with someone I’m actually kind of comfortable with.
Blowing out a breath, I take a few extra seconds to gather myself before following Ryann onto the balcony. He’s still shirtless, leaning against the railing as he gazes at the ocean beneath the moonlight, somehow not shivering as the wind stings my cheeks.
“How are you not frozen solid?” I chatter, tugging my jacket tighter as I step up next to him, reeling slightly from the view forty-six stories below.
His lips quirk. “Ireland’s summer months are usually this cold, maybe a tad warmer. It feels like home.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Sometimes, I do,” he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. “But it’s only the memories of my mother that make me miss it.”
Warming my hands with my breath, I glance at him sideways. “Does she still live there?”
“She’s dead.” His tone is flat, practically screaming I don’t want to talk about it, so I tell him I’m sorry despite wanting to know more. He shrugs again but doesn’t answer.
Okay...awkward.
We stand in silence for a long while, him eyeing the horizon while I study his profile, taking in the outline of his slightly crooked nose, and the breeze mussing his hair. He’s literally the most stunning man I’ve ever seen.
Eventually, he does that irritating sigh again before scrubbing a hand down his face. “It’s getting late, and tomorrow comes early.”
Even though I knew it was coming, I still can’t help the way my stomach drops at the fact that he’s kicking me out. Again. Maybe not in the rude way he did last time, but the insinuation is there.
With a nod, I turn to head back inside. “Yeah, I’d better get going.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
Well, aren’t you a gentleman. I chew my cheek, fighting to keep those words inside my brain, feeling exhausted from biting my tongue.
Ryann places a hand on my back, directing me toward the elevator, and though I craved his touch just moments ago, I don’t want him touching me right now. So I put some distance between us, stepping ahead to make it the rest of the way myself, and as I spin around to press the button, I catch him watching me with an unreadable expression. Blank. Back to being a brick wall.
So this how it’s going to be, then? I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. He did warn me. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it doesn’t mean I won’t show him that I’m upset.
Giving him a forced grin, I throw up two fingers in salute. “See you bright and early, Mr. Callahan.”
The flash of outrage in his eyes just before the doors close is almost satisfying.
Almost.