21. Shilo
Shilo
“ D aaamn. I think I’d fuck you like this.”
KC sets down the eyeliner he just applied to my eyes, tilting his head as he scrutinizes me. His gaze lingers until I squirm. “Seriously, Shilo, you’re hot.”
Tina nods in agreement beside him, and I snort, hopping off his bathroom counter. In the mirror, I take in my reflection—tight pants, a flowing crop top, shimmering skin from blush. For a brief moment, I almost like what I see. Almost.
Then my eyes land on my stomach, and the moment shatters. “I’m not hot. Do you have a longer shirt?”
“What? Why?” KC plants his hands on his hips as I eye his flat, smooth torso with a scowl.
“Because I don’t look like you.”
He blinks, sharing a look with Tina before dropping his hands. “No, you’re small and adorable. I’m tall and scrawny.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” I mumble, poking at my side. “I’ve got… stretch marks.”
“So?” Tina pulls up their skirt, revealing their thick thighs. “I do, too.”
“And my bottom teeth are crooked,” KC adds, pulling down his lip to show me. “See?”
From the living room, Carpenter chimes in, “I get zits on my ass!”
KC grins, makeup sparkling as he folds his arms. “So what should I do? Stop smiling? Should Tina stop wearing skirts?”
“Well, no,” I mumble, shaking my head. “That’s ridiculous. You both should do whatever you want, but I’m just…me.”
Tina offers a sad smile, picking up a tube of mascara and meeting my gaze in the mirror. “We’re all our own worst critics, love. And I know it sounds cliché, but beauty is more than skin deep. You’re imperfectly perfect, and that’s what makes you… you .”
“Are you comfortable in that outfit?” KC checks, dressed similarly. “Like, how does it make you feel?”
I let the question settle, fingers brushing over the soft fabric as it swishes against my sternum. “I feel nice. Pretty.”
“Then fuck what anyone else has to think or say. It’s your birthday, and you deserve to feel pretty.”
Yeah, my birthday. The big twenty-two, and instead of spending it with Ryann, the person I really want to be with, I’m heading to some college party I couldn’t care less about.
Sighing, I grab my phone off the counter and reread the message he sent me this morning for the thousandth time.
Ry:
Happy birthday, baby doll. I’d spend the day with you if I could, but we can celebrate tonight at my condo. I hope you have a fantastic day.
Of course, Ronin had to schedule some big shareholder event on my birthday which Ryann and Declan were forced to attend. With their dates.
He’s on a date. On my birthday. And yeah, I’m bitter.
It’s been over a month since we returned from New York, and it’s been amazing. I’ve spent almost every weekend at his place, and during the work week, I persuaded Carpenter to get Ryann’s coffee wrong just so he’d think of me. We created a routine, and it was easy to forget that this was all a secret.
Until today, when I realized he’d be standing by Olivia’s side in the open while I’m still hidden. And I can’t even complain because I’m the one who told him I’d be fine with it.
I’m really, really not fine with it.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
“Alright, enough moping.” KC tosses a makeup brush onto the cluttered counter and pulls me out of the bathroom. “We’re going out to celebrate your birth, and we’re going to have a great time. Maybe even find you a boyfriend.”
“I don’t want a boyfriend.”
Carpenter chokes on the energy drink he’d been chugging when he sees us, slapping at his chest. “Holy fuck, you three look…Jesus.”
KC smirks, taking in his roommate’s tight shirt and jeans. “You’re not so bad yourself. Almost fuckable.”
“Almost?” Carpenter scowls at that.
“Yes, almost. The whole straight thing turns me off.”
Tina snorts, and they start bickering as we all squeeze into KC’s pink Volkswagen. Our destination isn’t far—just twenty minutes with traffic—but it feels much too short when we pull up to a stranger’s house swarming with people. My palms are damp, and a nervous flutter takes up residence in my gut as I watch the steady stream of bodies coming and going from the front door.
I hate parties. Why did I let them talk me into this?
Oh, right. Because, according to KC, a wild college party is a rite of passage, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’d rather be curled up on Ryann’s new couch, laptop in hand, while he watches hot hockey players stretching on TV.
Carpenter snaps a group photo before we head inside, sending it to everyone’s phones. I stare at the image for a moment, zooming in on myself. I look… good, I guess, even if I’m the shortest one in the group. Would Ryann like my outfit?
Before I can second-guess myself, I text him the picture, adding a quick selfie of my face right after. As I lower my camera, I catch KC watching me, his eyes narrowed with interest.
“What?” I blink nervously.
“Was that Ryann you were just texting?” he asks quietly, trying to peek at my phone when I hide it behind my back.
“No.” Damn my squeaky voice.
“Uh-huh.” He rolls his eyes and starts weaving through the crowded front porch, the pungent smells of beer, sweat, and marijuana already making me gag. “I’m not stupid, Shi. You don’t have to lie to me.”
Stopping in my tracks, I grab his arm, biting my lip as he spins to face me. “I didn’t mean to lie. We’re just… it’s supposed to be a secret until he takes over for his dad.”
KC tilts his head, his sharp gaze studying me long enough to make my anxiety spike.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, not at you ,“ he answers, pursing his lips. “Ryann better watch his coffee, though. I can’t believe he’s keeping you in the closet.”
“Just for a few months,” I rush defensively, feeling my cheeks heat. “Only until May. When he’s CEO, he won’t have to do what Ronin tells him anymore.”
KC scoffs, shaking his head as he turns back around. “That sounds like bullshit to me. But hey, it’s your life, Shilo. Just doesn’t sound like you’re much of a priority.”
His words hit harder than I expect, and as I follow him into the house, I glare at the floor, trying to shake them off. I told Ryann I’d be willing to wait, but…KC has a point.
The house is fairly large, at least three stories, and heavy bass shakes the walls. I wonder how many neighbors are probably complaining about the noise. I would be.
My phone buzzes as I’m pulled toward the kitchen, and I take it out to read Ryann’s response.
Ry:
I just had to sit down to hide what that picture did to me, fucking hell.
You’re gorgeous. Please don’t take anything off before you come home, I want to sit you on my lap and play with you.
Ah, shit. Now, I have to hide what that message did to me. Somehow. Ugh, I should have just worn a hoodie and sweats. Luckily—or unluckily—some Party Bro burps in my face when I pass by, so that takes care of the boner situation.
KC introduces us to some guy pouring shots behind the counter and with the way they’re looking at each other, I’m pretty sure they’ve seen each other naked. Carpenter seems to think so too—his eyes narrow as he watches them flirt, his jaw tightening. His attention snaps to me when another guy standing too close presses a drink into my hand.
“Nope.” Snatching the cup, Carpenter shoves it back into the guy’s chest with a glare before pulling me away. “We don’t take drinks from strangers. What’s wrong with you?”
“I’ve never been to a house party before.”
“Seriously? Well, fuck. Don’t leave my side, then.”
Tina wanders off to find their girlfriend, leaving me to watch Carpenter play beer pong. After mixing me a drink himself—presumably to ensure I don’t get roofied—he demands I blow on his ping-pong balls for luck before each throw. I do it, but it makes no sense. This game is about hand-eye coordination, what does blowing on balls have to do with anything?
Eventually, Tina and their girlfriend pull me onto the dance floor, sandwiching me between them. I try to have fun, but I’ve never really danced before, and I’m hyperaware of how awkward I am. The pounding music combined with whatever drink Carpenter made earlier has my head spinning, and I feel more out of place than ever.
To make matters worse, KC and the guy he introduced us to have vanished, which has clearly set Carpenter on edge. His glare keeps darting toward the kitchen like he’s expecting KC to reappear any second. Plus, there’s no cake. Not a single slice.
What kind of birthday party has no damn cake?
Extracting myself from Tina’s arms, I slip away in search of a bathroom, desperate for a break from the crush of body heat. After some wandering, I finally spot one down a dark hallway, but as I pass a group of guys huddled together smoking, one of them grabs my arm.
“What the fuck is this?” he snaps, yanking me back before I can even reach the door. The force makes me stumble, a startled yelp escaping my lips. “I don’t wanna see this shit. Get the fuck out of here, fag.”
My stomach plummets, cheeks burning hot at the word he just used.
“Did you hear me?” The stench of alcohol rolls off his breath, spittle landing on my face when he snarls. “Get your disgusting ass out of my sight.”
Instantly, I start trembling, frozen as tears sting my eyes. Laughter erupts from his friends, spewing more words that rip open old wounds. When he takes a step toward me, I instinctively back away.
Right into a solid chest.
“There you are,” Carpenter grumbles, grabbing my shoulders, and I sag against him in pure relief. “I told you not to leave my side, where’d you go?”
Drunk Asshole sneers, glancing between us. “You his boyfriend?”
Carpenter stiffens behind me, his grip tightening. “So what if I am?”
“We don’t want no cocksuckers around here.”
“No one wants to suck your tiny dick anyway,” Carpenter scoffs, spinning us around. “Come on, Shilo.”
“The fuck did you just say?”
Before I can react, my body jerks forward as Carpenter gets shoved from behind. He spins around, shoving the guy right back. “Keep your hands off me, fuckass!”
And then everything descends into chaos.
Asshole’s cronies jump in, one of them landing a punch to Carpenter’s cheek with a sickening crack that echoes through the hall. My screech rips through the air as another guy rears back for a second hit.
Without thinking, I lunge forward, pulling Carpenter out of harm’s way. Pain explodes in my skull as someone’s knuckles slam into my nose, sending me stumbling into the wall. My head smacks against it with a dull thud, and I slide to the floor as three other bodies join the fight.
Through tear-blurred eyes, I catch flashes of movement: Tina grabbing the asshole in a headlock, their girlfriend delivering a sharp kick to one of his friends’ nuts. KC is on another guy’s back, slapping him wildly like a feral cat. The sight would probably be really funny if I weren’t bleeding all over my shirt—
Wait, I’m frickin bleeding?!
Oh, Jesus. Oh, it’s everywhere.
“That’s right!” Tina shouts as the three guys bolt for the backyard, brandishing a wallet like a trophy. “You better run, motherfuckers! I’ve got your ID!”
“Shit, Shilo.” Carpenter drops to his knees in front of me, his eyes wide and frantic. “That’s a lot of blood. You need a hospital.”
“Ngh,” I try to respond, but the blood pooling in my throat makes me gag. A garbled groan escapes as the pressure in my face builds, my eyes beginning to swell shut.
He yanks off his beanie, pressing it into my hand. “Hold this to your nose.”
“Can you drive?” KC asks, panic edging his voice as he loops an arm under my shoulders. “Can anyone drive?! I think I drank too much.”
“P-Paige,” I manage to rasp, nausea rolling through me. My head throbs, sharp pain stabbing through my temples as my stomach churns. Bile rises in my throat, and the room spins dangerously.
KC’s arms tighten around me just as the lights blink out.