Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
I’m drunk. The kind of drunk I usually reserve for Halloween to keep the memories at bay. But waiting for Raven to show up at the bar, I can’t stop thinking… so I keep taking shots.
Gage’s call sobers me just enough to realize how drunk I probably am. What the hell is Raven doing at the club? Is she okay?
I make my coworker and drinking buddy, Dave, drive me the short distance to the club.
He’s become my go-to driver, always brown-nosing as a way to advance in the ranks.
I think he also thinks he’ll get more pussy if he hangs out around me.
That part might be true. Dave can get insufferable, but if enduring him gets me a driver, then I’ll endure it.
As we drive, the lights from the streetlights are all blending into one and spinning like bubbles in a tub. I pop a piece of gum in to try and cut through the blur.
As the car slows and we pull up, I can make out shapes outside, but it’s dark and my head is swimming in alcohol. Gage must already be waiting for us. It’s blurry, but I think it’s Raven leaning on the building. Gage gestures at the car.
I get out, saying, “I see you found my–”
Gage just shoves something at me, and I blink down at it. It’s a purse.
“Brother, you shouldn’t have–”
“And give me these.”
I see his hand coming, and it feels like I dodge him in slow motion. Gage’s hand knocks my glasses loose.
“Those are mine!” I reach up to fix them.
Gage is mad. His whole face is red, even his eyebrows. Both of us get red eyebrows when we get pissed. Comes with having very little melanin. Usually, we look fairy-like. Now, he looks like an angry red fairy.
It makes me laugh.
“Flavor of the day broke mine, so I’ll be taking these until I get a replacement pair.” He tries again for my glasses, and I dodge faster this time. One of the downsides of being identical twins is that our prescriptions are the same.
“Hell no,” I grin. “I have to get my fucktoy home.” I can’t help but needle him more. Gage never gets pussy, so he’s always so mad when I do.
Gage freezes, then looks at me, narrowing his eyes. I see his nostrils move as he pulls in a breath. “Are you… drunk?”
He looks from me to Dave in the driver’s seat. Gage’s breaths are coming in pants, and I laugh because getting my brother wound up is my favorite thing in the world. It breathes life into my soul.
“Fuck no.” I smile at him, even though I’m sure he can’t see it, although I know he can probably hear the smile anyway. “But Dave might be.” He’s not, but I know it’ll piss Gage off.
I see the movement, but this time, I don’t want to dodge it. There’s a blow to the side of my head that whips my face around. A buzzing fills my head. A delicious buzzing that drowns out the thoughts.
“You let him drive you over here drunk?”
Oh, he’s mad. The buzzing feels warm, and there’s a dull throb, like I should be feeling pain.
“I’m not drunk,” Dave’s voice comes from inside the car. It’s high and a little panicked. He knows my brother’s a lawyer. “I only had one beer.”
Suddenly, I’m slammed against the hood of the car. Gage is in my face, his breath hot. “You need to get it together.” He smells like cinnamon.
I chuckle. “You need to–”
The glasses are whipped off my face. Before I realize it, I’m sliding along the hood of the car. I try to catch myself, but there’s no handhold, and I fall, grinding my palms into the asphalt.
I hear Dave protesting from inside the car. But he doesn’t bother to step out.
Smart fucker. Everyone knows not to get between my brother and me..
“Did you hear me, fucker?” Gage rages.
The throbbing is turning into a baseline now, squeezing pressure in my head. Gage must have hit me again. I don’t care. ‘Cause I made the mighty Gage Newman swing.
It’s funny.
“Where does your bitch live?”
My bitch? The words make delicious pleasure roll through me.
I’m pretty sure I must have been sitting there, grinning, ‘cause Gage’s foot boots me in the ass.
Okay. That’s a little much. I stagger to my feet, but Gage is pushing a feminine form into the passenger seat. Then he climbs in the back and slams the door. I hear the window roll down.
“Call Mom to come pick you up. Or sleep here, for all I care.”
Then Dave and Gage leave with the car, my glasses, and my fucking girl.
My fucking girl.
That fucker better not touch her.
You know what? Fuck no. I stumble over to the building to call a ride. One of my buddies was still at the bar. He picks up and says he’ll be on his way over.
As I wait, something sounds like it’s skittering to my right.
I look over to squint at the club door. Getting so close up that I almost bump into the door, I can vaguely see it’s lined with Halloween decorations.
Among the skeletons are little creepy ravens with their heads turned over their shoulders.
They look just like the ravens that we used to set up every Halloween.
Suddenly, I’m hit with a memory.
“Axel, get that one, will you?” Rich, my stepdad, motions at me from the attic ladder. I shuffle over the plywood to the Halloween decorations and slide them over to him.
“Thanks, bud!” He grins, and it makes warmth move through me. No one can tell Gage and me apart except for Mom and Dad, and sometimes they still call us by the wrong names. That is, until Rich came along. He can always tell us apart.
Shuffling back down the ladder, I trot along behind him. We open up the decor, pulling out orange and purple lights, ghosts, and witches. It’s always been my favorite.
“Got you something.” Rich pulls a plastic bag off the counter. Excitement rushes through me. Mom didn’t get us a lot of stuff after she and Dad split up.
Inside the bag are little birds. They look like crows with real feathers.
“Smartest birds in the world.” Rich pulls one out and hands it to me.
I take it, the soft belly feathers brushing the pads of my fingers while the longer feathers rasp against my palms.
“You want to know the scariest thing about this town?”
I narrow my eyes, skeptical. Growing up in a haunted town means I’ve heard it all.
“It’s not the ghosts or the witches or the scarecrows.” His voice lowers. “It’s the birds.”
I stare at Rich. That seems dumb.
Rich’s voice stays quiet, not quiet like he’s trying to be scary, but quiet like he is scared. And that makes goosebumps run down my arms.
“All the other things in this town are pretty easy to deal with,” Rich says. “You ignore them. The raven?” He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Smarter than cats. If they don’t like you, they’ll organize their whole family to peck your eyes out.”
Suddenly, Rich lunges at me.
I jump back, and Rich laughs. “Birds are weird animals, son. Stay away from them.”
I blink, suddenly back in the windy, cold parking lot.
Fuck. I have to keep a handle on this shit. Memories keep popping up more and more frequently now. It’s always this time of year.
I open my phone, trying to squint to see the time. The screen is so small that I can’t tell, but my friend isn’t here yet. I try him again.
“Yeah, man, I’m coming!” I hear the sounds of the bar in the background. Meaning he hasn’t left yet.
Fucker.
I can’t believe Gage stole my fucking car.
I consider calling the cops on him just for fun. See what the lawyer does to get out of that one. But I don’t feel like explaining how the car got here.
My drunk brain rolls. He’s in the car with Raven.
Annoyance skitters through me. He’s going to her house. Is he going to go inside? Will she let him?
I start pacing back and forth. I don’t like the idea of my brother alone with my plaything. What if he tries to mess with her before I have?
Oh fuck no.
I check the time on my phone again, but it doesn’t get any clearer despite my squinting.
I don’t want Gage alone with Raven. She’s fucking mine.
Where the hell is my ride?
After waiting a bit longer, I realize Raven’s apartment is just around the corner. Around the corner in a car, but still. Surely it wouldn’t take long to walk?
As soon as I have the idea, it sticks with me. I start off at a brisk pace, walking in the darkness. But it doesn’t scare me. Lack of sight isn’t as important as sighted people make it out to be. There are other ways to connect with the world around you.
Suddenly, the air is punched out of my lungs as I run into something hard. I stagger back, coughing. Nothing comes at me, so I feel around.
A telephone pole.
Fuck me. I’m so drunk.
After I right myself, I keep walking. Above me, I hear a raven caw. Suddenly, I hear Rich’s breathless voice in my ear. “This is what all men do.”
Fuck.
I speed up, walking faster. Walking faster will let me outwalk the memories.
“It’s okay. Hey bud, it’s okay! It doesn’t mean anything.”
I walk faster.
I close my eyes to pretend he’s not here. But that doesn’t work. It hurts. It feels like I’m on fire.
“I love you, buddy. This’ll be our little secret, yeah? Don’t tell your mom.”
The bed squeaks. My cotton sheets are damp under my hands. And his breath… It smells bad. It smells like the underside of a muddy rock. One with rotten mushrooms.
Mom always says to brush your teeth in the mornings.
Rich never does.
His breath ghosts over me again. “This is what people who love each other do. Everyone does it, so they don’t tell their friends about it. It’s nothing special.”
It’s worse than muddy mushrooms. It’s like when I accidentally left spaghetti in my lunchbox for two days. Like when the sink clogged up, and mom had to get a stranger to come and fix it.
I never want to smell like that.
After it’s over and I cry the night away, I spend the rest of my allowance on a pack of mint gum.
My eyes prick with heat. Why the fuck can’t I just put this behind me? It didn’t mean anything then, and it’s over now. Done. Why the fuck does it haunt me every year?
It takes too long to get to Raven’s apartment, but when I do, my car isn’t there. I sigh in relief, then realize that maybe he parked in the back.
No. No, Gage isn’t going to ruin this for me.
I stumble to the back lot, but all the cars are in shadows, and I can’t tell for sure if they’re my car or not. Why isn’t there a fucking light back here? I stumble past each one, keeping enough of my head not to set the alarms off, feeling to see if they’re hot.
None are.
Relief rushes through me, and I fall back against the car and face her apartment.
What is she doing?
Not that I care. She doesn’t mean anything. She’s just a distraction. Just a fun little toy.
This doesn’t mean anything.
Nothing at all.