Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Pretty boyyyy,” Jess whines, grabbing my shirt. We’re at a Halloween party, and I’m dressed as an elf. I wanted to go as a pirate, but Jess wanted me to go as an elf. Said it makes her hot, and I’m not gonna lie, it feels good to have a girl falling all over me. And not just any girl—Axel’s ex.
Axel ignores us from across the room. He’s actually been ignoring us all night, but this is on him. He cheated on Jess. She came to me with a broken heart, and there was something about the tears on her pretty face that I couldn’t say no to.
Jess sways into me, and I stumble back. The music is loud and disorienting, and my head is spinning. I don’t normally drink at these—that’s Axel’s gig—but tonight, I have a pretty girl on my arm, and it’s Halloween.
I’m pretty sure I’m drunk.
“Wanna get out of here?” Jess looks up at me. She’s so close I’d normally be able to see her, but everything looks more fuzzy than usual.
Yeah, I do.
I grab her arm, and we stumble back into the hallway.
This place is dark, and I don’t know my way around.
My toes run into something hard, and I feel around to find a dark staircase away from the noise and pull Jess up.
I bump into the handrail, and Jess bumps into me.
She giggles. I feel like I’m floating, like everything I was stressed about is suddenly gone. Why don’t I drink more often?
I can feel the rational side of me creeping in, trying to say that Axel always drinks so much on Halloween that he makes himself sick. That he needs someone to take care of him.
I frown. Not this time. I’m not my brother’s keeper. For once, I’m just going to be me—Gage. Not a twin to Axel. Just me.
At the top of the stairs, Jess pulls me toward a doorway. I realize it’s a bedroom in time for her to fall backwards on the bed.
“Should we…” I look around. Are we allowed to be up here?
“Pretty boy,” Jess whines again, opening her arms.
The room is spinning, so I fall onto the bed next to her. The bed bounces up and down, and I fight to gain stability.
I look at the girl beside me. She’s stunning.
She has beautiful chocolate hair and skin that is so smooth, I just want to touch it.
Not only is she pretty, she’s nice. She listened to me talk about my animals and the fox I’ve been trying to rehabilitate, and even told me about a new book at the library about wild animals that she thought may have a section about foxes.
I was always jealous of Axel when he was dating her. I can’t understand why he’d cheat.
Jess looks over at me and smiles. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I grin.
She smiles wider, although I can still feel sadness in her. She’s been sad since Axel, and I just want to fix it.
She’s close. So close that I can see her gaze bounce between my eyes and back down to my mouth. She says it again, slower, “Hey.” Then her tongue darts out, and she licks her lips.
Fuck, is she going to kiss me? God, I want her to kiss me.
Suddenly, nerves dance to light in my stomach.
“Kiss me,” Jess whispers.
Those nerves turn into firecrackers, and that, along with the alcohol, makes me feel hot.
I trace my hand along her jaw, feeling the softness of her skin.
I watch her eyes, slowly pulling my head closer.
I want to soak in this moment. Wipe any last trace of sadness from her eyes.
Want to kiss her and for her to kiss me back so hard we can’t pull away. Want to remember it forever.
“Kiss me,” Jess says with more power behind it.
So I do. I press my lips to hers and kiss her. Jess immediately melts back, moaning. She doesn't kiss me back. She just lies there, her lips flaccid.
I pull away. “You okay?”
“Too hot. Take these clothes off.” Jess is thrashing, trying to pull at her clothes.
I frown. Is she uncomfortable?
“Please, A–” she stops, and I freeze.
Was she about to say Axel?
“Actually, I’m just hot. Please, help.” Jess has pulled her shirt off and is wrestling with her bra.
And I’m momentarily distracted looking at her breasts.
They’re medium-sized but full, two perfect handfuls, and I desperately want her to let me touch them.
Want her to shove them in my mouth as she rides me.
Maybe shove something else in my mouth, too…
“There.” Jess pulls the bra off, and suddenly, I can see her nipples. The soft brown patches with hardened little nubs. Then, she’s yanking at her pants.
My mouth goes completely dry. Is this happening? Is it really happening?
“Condom.” She pulls a foil packet out of her pocket and shoves it at me.
Okay, so this is happening.
Suddenly, I’m full of nerves. I’ve never done this before. Am I going to be enough for her?
Then, Jess is lying on the bed, completely naked. My eyes snap to her like they’re magnets.
She’s stunning in every sense of the word, and all I want is to be inside of her.
“Big boy,” she moans. “Take your pants off.”
I realize I’ve just been lying there, staring at her. Then, something digs at the back of my mind. Big boy? Isn’t that what she used to call Axel?
Then she’s on me, kissing me and pressing me back into the bed. Suddenly, everything flares to life. She’s everywhere, touching everything, her sweet smell invading my senses. Her hands are fumbling at my pants and brushing my dick, sending shockwaves through me. Fuck, it feels so good.
I feel a rush of cool air over my dick and realize she’s gotten my pants off.
“Give that to me.”
The packet is snatched from my hands, then her hot hands are on my dick, gripping it. I groan, bucking up into her hands. I want her to keep doing that, to keep doing whatever she wants to me.
Then, I feel the roll of rubber over my dick, and I can’t feel her warm hands as well. That thought immediately goes out the window when she rolls onto the bed beside me, tracing her hands down to her pussy.
“Please,” she whines.
I roll over Jess so I’m lying on top of her. She responds by throwing her head back and baring her neck to me. Does that mean I can kiss it?
I do, peppering little kisses up and down her neck. I can feel my dick pressing against her pussy, and it makes me throb so much I almost want to come.
No. Not yet. I can’t come yet.
“Please.” Jess bucks her hips.
I grab her chin, wanting to look at her and see what she’s feeling. Jess’s eyes are squeezed shut, and she’s breathing heavily. There are little furrows between her brows.
“You want me inside you?” I say, lips so close to hers they’re almost touching.
“Yes!” She bucks again.
Anything to please her. If I come, I come. I’ll just try to stay hard long enough that she can get off.
I have to look down, trying to position myself just right. It’s dark, the world is spinning, and my dick has gotten less hard.
Jess groans, and her hand snakes between us. She grips my dick, shifting me so that suddenly, the head is surrounded by tight heat.
I grunt, involuntarily grinding into the sensation.
“Yes, fuck me.” Jess lifts her hips, making more of my dick slide into her. The sensation is earth-shattering. Pleasure lights up all along my groin, and I push so that I’m seated in her as far as I can go.
She lets out a breath of air that sounds happy, and it makes goosebumps run across my arms. She likes it. It feels good.
“More.”
So I do. I pull out of her, almost to the tip, then push back inside. The movement sends pleasure shooting up my spine, and I groan. I want to bottle this feeling up and feel it forever. Does Jess feel it, too? I want her to feel it.
I look at her, but her eyes are still closed.
I slow, hoping she’s okay. She just whines.
So I go back to pumping in and out of her. It feels like heaven, and I trace my fingertips along her collarbone, feathering them down to where her breasts are trapped beneath me. I wonder if she wants me to go further? To play with her clit.
But she doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t direct me. She lies there, eyes closed. I already feel close to coming.
I draw up so I can reach her pussy. I’ve read enough magazines to know girls like their clit played with.
Jess mews, writhing against me. I’m not sure if I’m doing it right, how hard to press, or how fast to go.
I try different pressures and tempos, but Jess doesn’t change up her moans. They’re all the same.
“Fuck me,” she demands again.
I prop myself up on my hands over her and pound into her. Immediately, her moans increase. It feels harsh and impersonal, and she still won’t look at me.
“Yes.” Jess wraps her legs around my waist and yanks me to her. I can barely move anymore, but the feeling is electrifying, being buried so deep in her pussy that I can’t escape. Already, I’m throbbing like I’m a stroke away from coming.
Then, Jess opens her eyes and looks at me. “Yes, fuck me, Axel.”
It takes a second for me to process what she said, but Jess has lifted her hips up, and she’s slamming into me, holding me close with her legs and squeezing my dick so hard I come.
I grunt, erupting into the condom while she pulls me in further.
The orgasm takes me without my permission, and the pleasure is harsh and quick.
I feel her pulsing around me, and when I come back down, the world is spinning even more.
Axel. She called me Axel.
Jess doesn’t seem to notice. She’s limp again, her legs letting go of me, and her eyes are still closed.
I pull out of her, confused. The high I just felt is crashing, and suddenly, things don’t feel so good anymore.
She called me my brother.
I pull the condom off and yank my pants back up, turning to check on Jess. She’s patting around for her clothes, and she peeks at me. “You okay?”
“I…”
She stares at me.
I feel the high tumbling further and further out of reach. Why did I think this was a good idea? She can’t even tell us apart? My thoughts spiral, and I wonder if she is only with me because I look like my brother.
“Was that good for you?” she asks.
I swallow.
“You know you can go harder.” She pulls her shirt over her head. “He always—I like to be thrown around.”
My face heats. She wants to be thrown around? And was she talking about Axel? Axel threw her around, and she wants me to do that, too?
I don’t even think I want to. I wouldn’t know where to start, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Where there once was a rush of euphoria, I now feel sadness sinking in, and in a horrifying turn of events, I feel like crying. Heat pricks at my eyes, and I straighten.
No. I will not be weak. No one can see me cry.
There’s an awkward silence, then Jess says, “I’m just gonna… go back downstairs.”
I don’t argue with her. She used me because of my brother. She didn’t like me for me. I was a fool to even think that.
It makes me angry, and I want to scream and yell. Throw things. Purge the feelings that are bubbling up in my chest.
A week later, she’s back with Axel, and I learned that even though I may see the best in someone, it doesn’t mean they see the best in me.