Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
I can’t let Raven suffer like this.
I knew that before I offered her my savings, and I really know it now.
That doesn’t change the fact that my plan to help her involves me making the girl who wants to kill me—or Axel, to her, there’s no difference—comfortable.
I haven’t been anything but cold to something that’s not an animal in… a long fucking time. I’m not entirely sure I can do it. But the fear and anger in Raven’s voice remind me so much of when I first met Poe, and she clawed at me and bit my finger open. Poe was just angry. Scared. Hurt.
And so, here I am.
Raven parks in the grocery store lot, and I find it hard to get out of the car. Her presence is smothering in a way that both hurts and is intoxicating. She doesn’t say a word, and yet I can feel her anger clinging to every bit of exposed skin.
Slowly, I crack the door.
The cool air outside helps me focus. I have my old glasses on that give me a headache, but I can see enough to realize that she’s parked as far away from the doors as possible.
Maybe she doesn’t want to get out first.
I step out of the car, waiting to hear her door open, but it doesn’t. A bolt of anxiety kicks through me. Is she going to drive off? Take the small amount of money I gave her and run?
I consider jumping in front of the car, then shake my head. I value my life. Plus, I don’t want to make her feel more trapped than she already feels.
After waiting a few minutes that feel like an eternity, I circle the car, using my hand to brush along the outside until I meet the crease of the driver’s door. I knock on the window.
Nothing.
I knock again. “It’s cold out here.”
There’s a muffled response, and it sounds a lot like ‘go fuck yourself.’
A flood of heat washes over my body. Why is she mad at me? It’s Axel she should be pissed at. I’m pissed at him. I still might wring his neck for that fucking stunt he decided to pull.
But I’m not my brother. And I fucking hate that she treats me like I am.
I let the cool wind wash over my warm skin, listening to the sounds of the parking lot. The slamming doors, the locks beeping, the carts rattling. I could go inside alone. My glasses are shit, but I could try and fumble around for what I need.
But that wouldn’t help the terrified woman in the car.
Raven hasn’t driven away yet, which means she wants more of my money. So that’s something.
I pull in a deep breath and let it out, the tip of my nose getting cold. I know how I can get Raven out of the car.
“Buddy needs more food.”
There’s silence, then a huff. Suddenly, I hear the handle releasing, and I step back just in time.
Raven steps out, slamming the door and shoving past me.
She doesn’t wait, and I have to scramble to keep up with her moving form.
Once we start walking, there’s a lot of other movement, and I work hard to keep her as my only focus.
It’s easy to keep up—Raven’s legs are a lot shorter than mine—but she’s hugging the backs of the cars. I’m not sure if that’s out of habit or if she’s trying to get me to run into them. After she leads me through a freezing puddle and I get my right foot wet, I’m going to guess it’s on purpose.
That anger that isn’t always far off boils. The wetness creeps down my ankle and onto the arch of my foot. Raven’s long hair swishes as she walks, and I think about grabbing it and wrapping it around my fist, pulling her into me. Putting her lips to my neck and demanding she bite it.
No. Fuck. What is wrong with me?
When we make it to the doors, there are a lot of other moving bodies, and Raven ducks around them. I grab hold of the back of Raven’s blazer so I don’t lose her, and the woman jerks out of my grip. She knows I can’t see, and she tries to take advantage of that.
I dart my hand out, gripping Raven’s elbow and yanking her back into me.
Only, she’s so light I accidentally pull her back into my chest, where I hold her softly.
I’m about to rip into her. Tell her just what I think of her petulant behavior.
But having Raven this close is a shockwave to my system.
I feel every bit of her pressed against me, and it makes me feel alive.
She trembles slightly, and immediately, I realize she’s afraid. I push her away so she isn’t pressed up against my chest and suck in a heaving breath.
The dark outline that is Raven stands there for a second.
Then, her gravelly voice says, “Fuck you, Gage. Don’t touch me.”
I open my mouth to respond, then shut it again. I miss the electric current that ran through me when we touched.
“I fucking hate you.” She’s still spewing anger, and for a second, all I can picture is her as her name’s sake—a raven, flaring her broken wings and scratching at me. Raven gets closer, and suddenly all I can smell is her—a mixture of Fiji and sweat. “You touch me again, and I’ll kill you.”
She’s standing right in front of me, finger in my face. Suddenly, my dick is hard. All I can picture is her yelling at me, degrading me, while I’m on my knees in front of her.
I shove back those thoughts. Her sweat smell is sour with fear, and I hate that.
Slowly, I raise my hands. “I am not my brother,” I say the words softly. I want to say that I’m also not Max or anyone else. But I don’t.
For a second, it’s just me and her. Then, the sounds of the grocery store flood back in. The music, the carts, the beeps of the registers.
Raven’s form moves. Her steps are choppy, and I assume she’s grabbing a cart. That, or leaving me stranded and never coming back.
I hate how much I dislike that idea.
Suddenly, a harsh voice breaks out. “Watch it.”
I jerk my eyes open, wishing I could see.
“You watch it,” Raven’s voice comes, then there’s a rattling of carts and an intake of breath.
“You fucking cunt.”
Who the fuck is talking to Raven like that?
Argument forgotten, I stride forward, zeroing in on the dark shape that I think is Raven. As soon as my fingers feel the brush of her hair, a part of me calms.
“Your bitch assaulted me.” The voice comes from another form, this one large—a man. I don’t recognize his voice. He must not be a regular.
I shove Raven behind me. I don’t think twice before my voice comes out low and quiet, “Call her that again, and I’ll fuck you up.”
Raven sucks in a breath behind me.
There’s a stunned silence from the man in front of me, and I’m already putting the weight on my back leg to throw a punch.
“You’re fucking crazy!” The man’s voice is pitched higher. “I’ll call the cops!”
“I’ll tell them you pushed me.” Raven’s voice is no longer directly behind me. What the hell? Why did she move? She needs to stay behind me so I can keep him away from her.
“You’re a fucking liar!”
Did he touch her? I hear rushing in my ears.
“And you’re an asshole!” Raven’s yelling now, and suddenly, I feel the shift. She’s gonna beat this guy’s ass, and I won’t be able to see to protect her from any of his punches.
Nope.
I herd Raven back into the store. “Let’s go.” I know she doesn’t want me touching her, but there’s about to be a whole lot more touching if I don’t get her away.
“You’re a fucking cowardly waste of space!” Raven’s still yelling, pushing back against me.
“Easy.” I grab her shoulders and push her into what I know is the produce section.
“Get off me!”
“What does he look like?” I ask her.
“Like an entitled piece of shit!” Raven’s breathing is heavy, and I hear her breath hitch.
It’s that little hitch of breath that drives me crazy. I’m ready to whirl and beat the man’s ass now. But if I do, she’ll follow and get hurt.
I force myself to take a breath. “What did he look like?” I’m going to need details if I’m going to track him down and beat his ass later.
Raven yanks out of my grip. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”
“Are you okay?”
Raven ignores me. For another few beats, she paces like a caged animal, and it’s all I can do to keep her with me without stepping on her boundaries.
Finally, she gives an infuriated huff. “You threatened him. You’re a lawyer; you can’t do that.”
It was a conditional threat, but whatever. “Allegedly,” I tell her. “Are you hurt?”
“No, the fucker just shoved past me.”
Okay, maybe instead of beating his ass, I’ll bury him instead.
For a minute, I think both of us are thinking about killing him. And then, Raven lets out a long breath. “I got a basket; what do you need?”
Right. Grocery shopping.
Fuck.
How can I focus on something like grocery shopping when my hands are still humming with energy?
Then, I feel Raven moving around me, and immediately, I follow her like she has her own gravitational pull. She’s walking further into the store.
Right. ‘Cause we’re shopping.
For a bit, I tell her what we need while I try to calm my body down. I must black out because soon we’re at the dog food section, and Raven’s telling me the bag won’t fit in the basket.
I heave it over my shoulder. For a brief second, I wonder if Raven will be impressed. Then, I shake my head. What the fuck is wrong with me?
As I calm down, all I can feel is massive relief that she didn’t get hurt.
I am absolutely a glutton for punishment. In the end, it doesn’t matter that Raven hates my guts and thinks that I’m my brother; I’ll still protect her with everything I have.