Chapter 52
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
I want her. I want her so badly, I feel my body shaking against my will. But the way she melts into me? It feels euphoric. Feels like putting on your glasses and seeing the most beautiful sunset. Seeing the details on your dog’s face. It feels like comfort and home.
Just as much as pleasure is there, panic is too. What do I do? After Jess, I could never find someone who didn’t know Axel too, and I always took care of my own needs. Now, I’m cursing myself. How do I take care of Raven? I’ve barely had sex. Jess wanted it hard. Wanted me to take her aggressively.
Raven grinds against me, and I bite back a moan. She feels so goddamn good.
There’s movement off to the side, and then Axel’s drunk voice says, “Did he pay you to kisss him?”
Raven stills, stiffness coming back to her body.
Immediately, I want to kill Axel. I want to kill my own brother.
“C’mon, little bird. We both know you’re jussst in this for the… money.” He hiccups.
“I’ll get rid of him,” I grind.
“Touch me.”
The demand rocks through me, and I freeze. Raven wants me to… touch her?
“Fucking touch me.” Raven’s voice is a growl now, and she grinds into my dick so hard it makes light shoot across my blurry vision.
She’s doing this because Axel’s here. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But then, I steel myself. Raven’s made no lies about why she’s here, unlike Jess. Raven just wants me to help her get back at Axel. Nothing more, nothing less. I can do that.
I can do that.
I slip my hands out from behind my head, moving them across her shoulders and down her back. I trace her gently, figuring out where she is.
Raven just grinds into me impatiently.
What does she want? Does she want me to take control?
I swallow, my throat tight. I don’t know if I can take control right here, right now. I don’t know what I’m doing.
But I won’t hesitate. That’s what I did last time, and it wasn’t enough.
So I wrap my arm around Raven, buckling her elbow enough that I can lift my hips up, flipping us so I’m on top of her.
Raven sucks in a startled breath, then she’s stiff again. She’s stiff under me, all through her torso and legs. Her breathing is startled and choppy.
Fuck. I bury my head between the couch and her ear, muttering low so Axel can’t hear it.
“You okay?”
There’s a moment where Raven doesn’t respond, and that scares me. I lift some of my weight off her so I can try to look at her. She’s mostly blurry, but I squint to see if I can see her face.
There’s the shifting of clothes, and Axel moves across the room. Raven’s head turns to watch whatever he’s doing, and then she’s back facing me. She kisses me fiercely, and I don’t expect it. It makes me jump as Raven chases after my lips, biting and sucking on my bottom lip hard enough to hurt.
“Play with me,” she demands in a frantic, husky voice.
I don’t like it. Raven doesn’t seem okay. She seems rushed and upset.
But then she grabs my right hand and yanks. When I let the weight off it, she pulls it down her torso and to the band of her pants.
I suck in a breath as my fingers brush her silky skin.
I shouldn't do this. But she wants me to. Team Fuck All Men, or whatever.
Then, she’s pushing my hand farther, and I suck in a breath as my fingers brush silky curls. Fuck. My dick is so hard it fucking hurts.
Then her gravelly voice says, “Be a good boy and touch me.”
That does it. I can’t refuse anything Raven tells me to do. I slide my fingers into her curls, then farther, where I meet wetness. She’s soaked, and it startles me.
I thought this was just a game?
Raven’s hips arch into my touch, and she lets out a breathy moan.
I can’t hold back my own, pressing my fingers down, feeling her body, brushing my fingers across her, noticing when she tenses under me.
So I brush that part again, what must be her clit, because she sucks in a breath of air that doesn’t sound like it’s for show.
I go after that spot, gently rubbing it up and down and round and round. Raven shifts her hips more when I circle it, and I’m not sure if she’s trying to get away from the touch or if she’s trying to get more.
Slowly, I let off the pressure. Raven chases my fingers more. So I press slightly harder, and she sucks in another breath.
Good. Okay, she wants firmer.
I continue the same pattern, and for a bit, I feel her clit stiffening. Then, it softens, and her breaths seem to come less frantically.
Fuck. I fucked it up.
Raven’s hand traces down mine. She makes a frustrated sound, and I wince. I’m not doing it right.
“My thumb,” she says.
Oh fuck. Her injured hand. I pull away so I’m not touching her, and she grunts at me again. “Fuck no, come back. Let me ride your fingers.” As best as she can, she guides my hand down farther, curling her fingers into mine, pressing me into warm heat.
Oh fuck yes. My dick is weeping in my pants, and I grunt. I have to hold it together.
Raven presses more, and I adjust so my middle and ring fingers are the ones she’s pressing on. They slip into tight, wet heat, and I shudder.
“There,” Raven pushes into me, so I slide deeper, and I feel her pussy clench around me. Then, she moves her fingers up to her clit, and I feel her moving.
I want to listen to her. Hear every breath she takes and which ones she holds. To hear the tiny shudders and any hint of a moan. I want it all.
I slightly lower my palm so it brushes her hand. I can feel her fingers circling, and she moans, her pussy clenching on me again. She’s circling faster than I was. Her voice is soft, and it feels like it’s meant for me and me only. She says, “Good boy.”
I know it’s not. I know it’s meant for Axel to hear, too, but it takes a monumental effort not to let it shiver through me. The words try to go up through the Fuck All Men and break it to splinters, sounding a lot more like ‘fuck the game.’ She’s mine. She’s fucking mine.
Once I’ve gathered myself enough, slowly, carefully, I move my fingers in and out of Raven’s pussy.
She lets out a tiny noise high in her throat, and for a moment, I almost come.
I feel a gush of wetness around my fingers.
I grind my hips into the air. There’s not enough friction.
Raven’s pussy squeezes me again, and she makes another sound deep in her throat; then, she’s squeezing me harder than she has been.
“Fuck,” she grunts, and the sound is laced with repressed pleasure, and her cunt pulses rhythmically around me.
Then Raven’s thigh jumps up and brushes the head of my dick, and I come. I explode in my pants, shooting burst after burst as I come, imagining it’s my name on Raven’s lips.