Chapter 68
CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
“Who the fuck are you?” Max scrambles back into his living room, which is lit by the glow of the TV. The dim light makes it harder for me to see. That’s good. Every kill is a ten out of ten if you can’t see it exactly.
“You’re shorter than I thought you’d be.” I stalk after Max. Short and bald. Jesus, Raven. Swinging way below your caliber.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” He shuffles in his pocket for his phone, I presume.
“Hmm,” I muse. “How about no? Is that a word you understand?” I yank down my mask, a black piece that goes over my nose and mouth.
“What the–back off!” Max backs into the kitchen, hiding behind the island.
He’s a coward, but I didn’t expect anything less.
“Do I need to spell it out for you? N - O. Nope. Hell nah.” I tap the bat in my palm, enjoying the thrill of power that Max’s cowering gives me. He’s a lot like Rich—brave until there’s someone bigger in the room. And I am bigger. A hell of a lot bigger. I almost feel bad.
“It’s your turn, Max.”
To his credit, he grabs something off the island and hurls it at me. It hits my chest with a thud that pounds through my chest cavity. I glance down. An apple.
Slowly, a grin traces across my face. Damn. If I weren’t damn near blind, I could have hit that sucker right back at him with the bat.
I shrug, flipping the bat, praying I catch it and make it look cool.
I do.
Laughing, I stalk around the island.
“Fire!” Max yells, trying to dart to the living room where the open front door stands. “Someone help, fire!”
Oh, hell no. I spring after him, catching up right before he gets outside. Yanking him back by the collar, I slam the door shut.
Max scrambles to run the other way, but I’ve had enough. I slam the bat down into his moving form and make contact, the shock vibrating all the way up my hand and into my bones.
Max screams, and I groan, the sound and the pain jarring my brain up to a buzz. It feels like the first time I kidnapped Raven, only better this time. ‘Cause she’s not scared. Only he is.
He’s still on his feet, stumbling away.
Damn. I need better form. I’ll ask Raven to give me pointers.
With a pang of sadness, I realize I’m leaving. Immediately, that sadness hardens into anger.
“Come back here, you fuck.” I chase after his form, raising the bat above my head. It hits the ceiling with a crack.
“Fuck,” I hiss, using all of my strength to whip the bat down into Max’s form. It connects, sending the jolt of impact up both my arms. Both of us groan, and Max goes down.
“Don’t understand no, huh?” I pant, stepping over Max’s body.
In the lighting, I can’t quite see what damage has been done.
I imagine it though. In my head, he has a nice dent in that bald head of his.
Blood is splattered across his face where there’s fear there.
The same fear he made Raven feel. The same fear Rich made me feel.
I swing the bat again, and this time, there’s a wet crunch. I know there’s blood now.
I grin. I’m in control now.
Max hacks, and there’s a splattering sound.
“Not so big anymore, huh?” I step over where his legs are, then stomp down, aiming for his knee. I must not hit it ‘cause my foot rolls off muscle. Still, he gives a satisfying scream.
“Too bad she’s not here to see you like this.” I wish she were here. I wish with every fiber in my body that she were here.
Then, I shake myself out of it. She’s busy with Gage. On a date.
Everything feels hot. I swing the bat again. This time, it hits him and then glides off and hits the floor with a loud crack.
Fucking hell.
I swing again. And again. And again, until I’m lost in the motion of it. Over and over and over until my arms are numb. At one point, I hear Rich’s entitled laugh, and I swing harder and harder. It’s not until the bat bounces back and almost hits me that I come back to the present.
It’s quiet, other than the hum of the TV and the haggard sucking of my breath. There’s an ad on TV. I recognize it. It’s an ad we’re running for Newman’s to try and expand.
Suddenly, I’m full of shame. I treated Raven like shit.
I raise the bat again, laying into Max. Or, what’s left of him. The soft, wet thuds are way more neutral than they should be. And I realize I’m wet.
No, not wet. Bloody.
I suck in a few more breaths. This probably looks like a murder scene. Well, it kinda is.
Gage is gonna kill me.
Gage. On a date with Raven.
Good. Let him kill me.
I rack my brain to remember if I touched anything. Left any evidence.
I did. The door handle. Striding over to it, I swing the bat into it. The aluminum clinks off the metal. I hit it again and again and again until it cracks off. Grabbing both pieces, I stalk out of the house into the cold night air.
This should have made me feel better. I want to feel better.
So why do I feel… empty?
Raven should have been here. I did this for her, and she’ll never know.
I yank my mask back up, standing on the front porch for a minute, just breathing in the air through the mask. It smells… coppery.
I don’t feel bad. At all. Raven deserved to have someone wipe this shitstain from the earth.
But I wish she knew.
I grab my bag and go back inside. Stripping out of the bloody clothes I was wearing, I change into clean ones. I use the mask to wipe the blood from my bat. I sent Dave home after he dropped me off. I’ll walk as far as I can go and then hitch a ride home.
The walk serves to numb me beautifully. Somewhere, some trucker picks me up and drops me off at the edge of Hollows Grove. It’s a long walk back to my place, but also short at the same time. All I can think about is Raven.
When I’m back home, I light my clothes on fire in the bathtub, which sets the fire alarm off.
Once I get that calmed down, I shower, scrubbing every last fleck of blood off me and down the drain.
Then, I fill the tub with water and bleach, throw the bat into it, and let it sit.
As I stare at the bat, I feel a wash of overwhelming exhaustion.
The hatred is gone for the first time in…
forever. My chest feels empty. Numb. Fuzzy.
It’s a weird feeling. I must just be too exhausted to feel anything.
I need to go. To go start another life before I kidnap Raven again and go down a path that there’s truly no coming back from.
Before I go, I need to drop Raven’s bat off with her again. Kinda a sentimental touch. It’s her security, and I don’t mean to take it from her.
Or maybe I can buy her a new one.
I will. Tomorrow.
For now, I crawl into the same bed I tied Raven to, imagining I can still smell her scent. And then I drift off.
The next morning, my arms hurt. I search for that hatred, that ever-present rage. But it’s not there. Or if it is, it’s lurking somewhere in the background.
Fuck. I should have started killing creeps a lot sooner.
The bat is still in the tub, and I fish it out of the cold water. I don’t want to buy her another. I want her to have this one. It’s a trophy. She deserves to have the trophy. Now that it’s clear of DNA, it won’t get her in any trouble. Maybe I can ask Gage?
No. I most definitely cannot ask Gage. I’m supposed to be leaving.
Jesus. I don’t want to go. Where will I go? Everything I know is here. But staying here and watching Gage and Raven?
Nope. I’d go to prison. For sure, no questions asked. I’d force Raven to live with me, and this time, I wouldn’t let her go. Because Gage makes her happy, he could stay. As long as he doesn’t try to keep her from me.
Sharing?
I turn the idea around in my head.
Raven is happy with Gage. They can be sweet and insufferable together. But she’s not all sweetness. She has a nasty side to her that wants out. I just know it. And that side is for me.
Nope. Dangerous thoughts. Not for me, but for her.
I’ll just drop the bat off and figure it out from there. Just one step at a time. Mom drives me to Gage’s house, and the drive goes by in a blur. I think she’s talking to me, telling me about how Rich has gone hunting, and it’s nice to have the house to herself. Then, we’re there.
“Are you okay?” Mom asks quietly.
I blink. No. I’m not okay. The woman I can’t keep my thoughts away from hates me, and rightfully so. But instead of saying that, I turn and give Mom the same look she used to give us when we’d ask her the same thing as kids. “I’m okay. Just tired.”
For a second, I think Mom is going to call me on my bullshit. Surely she knows I’m lying to her. She used to do the same to me.
But instead, she just says, “Okay. Tell Raven I said hi.”
I won’t be doing anything of the sort. But I step out of the car, saying, “Love you.”
I wait till Mom pulls away. I can’t go in the front door. I’ll snatch her up if I see her.
So I go to the back door, slip the bat inside, then step away. That step feels like I’m ripping velcro away. It feels wrong.
Fuck. I force myself to go, and as I do, I sense movement on the porch.
Looking up, I see a massive black raven sitting on the railing, only feet away. I freeze, staring at it. What the hell? Was it there when I walked up? My heart races, and the bird just stares at me with its beady, black eyes. Is this Poe?
I can’t move. Fear holds me still. I can’t move, or it’ll claw my eyes out.
It’s gotta be Poe. Poe always hated me, and this one looks like it’d eat my heart out and laugh.
The sliding door opens behind me, and I jump.
“What are you doing?” A voice—Raven—asks.
Poe hops a little, and I jump. “Shhh.”
“What are you–oh shit.” I hear her step outside.
“Don’t–”
She closes the door.
“What are you doing?” I hiss.
“Looking. What are you doing?”
I swallow. At any minute, Poe will have had enough and will come swooping at either of our faces. I inch to angle in front of Raven.
“I’m waiting for it to go so I can leave,” I grit.
Raven is silent for a second. “Are you… scared of it?”
“No,” I spit, but Poe ruffles her feathers and cocks her head. I freeze.
“Oookay,” Raven drags out the word.