Chapter 73
CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
Coming out of the bedroom, Axel trips over me and Buddy.
I scramble to my feet. “Is Raven okay?”
“Yeah, dude, she’s fine.” Axel waves me off, walking away.
Wait. Why is he walking away? What’s going on?
“Where are you going?”
“Walking away so I don’t fuck your girlfriend.”
That stops me in my tracks, but Axel doesn’t stop. He keeps going. I stride up to him, snatching his arm. “Just wait.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?” Axel looks at me, and I hear the anger in his tone. But it’s not just anger. It’s pain.
“I heard you.” Honestly, I assumed that’s what he was doing anyway.
And for the first time, the thought didn’t fill me with heartbreaking pain.
There was some pain, but it felt old. Raven likes Axel.
I know she tries not to, but she likes him.
She’s been obsessed with getting back at him the entire time I’ve known her. And he likes her too. A lot.
Axel squints at me. “Are you… Did you hit your head or something?”
I wish. Because I’m actually considering something crazy. Something I never in a million years would have thought I’d offer.
I swallow. “I’m an idiot.”
“I’m well aware,” Axel drones. I register a flicker of movement as his head looks down the hall like he’s planning on walking away again.
“No, wait. I mean, I need help with her.” Axel knew what to do tonight. He knew how to take care of her. I was the one being a dickhead. The one hurting her.
“Get a therapist,” Axel says, “Now get off me.”
“No! I’m saying… she likes you. Us. She likes both of us.”
He tries to shove me off.
“Listen.” I dig my fingers into his shoulders. “I see the way she looks at you. The way she fights.” I close my eyes but keep going. “She wants you, Axel. Not just me. You too.”
It’s silent, and I’m too afraid to open my eyes. But the words are true. Axel and I are different people, and for some reason, she likes both of us. She likes taking control of me, and she likes it even better when Axel directs her.
“What are you saying?” Axel’s voice is cautious.
“I’m offering to share, you stupid asshole.” As soon as the words are out, I feel an odd relief. Like the tension I’ve been holding for so long just… dissipates.
I open my eyes, wishing I could really look at my brother.
I want to see what he thinks. Instead, I feel the way his muscles tense like rocks under my fingers.
They hold that position for so long that I know he’s actually thinking about what I said.
Then, there’s a tiny intake of breath. One that I’m sure he didn’t mean for me to hear.
Then, he stiffens again. “I’m not relationship material.” He tries to shove past me.
Is he… trying to walk away from this?
I stride after him with newfound confidence, stopping him again. “You’re just gonna walk away?”
“Yep.” Axel keeps going.
“Who’s the one running now?”
Axel doesn’t stop.
“If you leave, you’re the coward. Raven needs you. Needs both of us.”
There’s a pause so silent only the ticking of the grandfather clock can be heard.
Axel’s shoulders are tense. “I…”
I know he’s afraid. Fuck, I am too. But I’m tired of sitting back in fear and letting life pass me by. I just cross my arms. “You’ll cut the bullshit act, and you’ll do exactly what you did tonight. You’ll be you. The real you.”
I wish I could see what’s going on in his head. If Axel runs now, I know Raven will run too. She’ll pack up with the money I gave her and head… wherever she was going to head. Because as much as she’d deny it, she’d see Axel leaving as a rejection. Hell, I’ll see it as a rejection.
“I can’t… love her like you can.” Axel’s voice cracks, and his voice comes out so quiet, I can hardly hear it. “I’m broken, Gage.”
My chest hurts, and I stride up to him, spinning him around. Instead of saying anything, I wrap him in my arms. Much like Raven did, Axel crumples. He doesn’t cry, but I want to.
“We’re all a little broken, Ax. Doesn’t make us any less worthy of love.”