21 – Sadie
SADIE
Day Eleven
M y body is still on a high from last night, and I can’t help replaying the feel of Dr. Weiss’s fingers inside me. His mouth against my skin.
Unfortunately, from the look on his face as he walks into our morning session, the feelings aren’t mutual.
He hasn’t said a word to me.
Hasn’t even looked my way.
He’s still wearing a T-shirt from hours ago, and although the nurse stopped by and professionally addressed his larger wound, he’s still wearing the fabric of my pillowcase around his arm.
I lean back in the metal chair and wait for him to start.
“Hmmm.” He finally sits across from me, finally looks up. “Are you familiar with the truth serum experiment?”
“I’ve heard it doesn’t work.”
His lips curve into a half-smile, sending a familiar fluttering in my chest.
“Most doctors in my field would agree with you,” he says, “but the way I handle it here is quite effective, and it ensures that I extract nothing but the truth from my patients.”
“I could’ve sworn the truth serum experimentations were only for your worst patients.”
“It is.” He leans forward and flips a box open, revealing a collection of glass vials. The liquids all bear a different color—pale blue, airy pink, grass green, and a crimson red.
“You’ve already given me permission to use them if things on the outside with your case get dire, and…” He doesn’t need to finish his sentence for me to catch his drift.
“How long will I have to be under?”
“As long as necessary,” he says. “It’s in your best interest to let me administer the first dose tonight.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He shuts the box and tucks it under his shoulder. Then he abruptly leaves the room.
What the…
I wait a few minutes, assuming he left to put the box away and will return soon, but the next thing I hear is the clicking flames on our gas stove.
“Is that the end of our session?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Okay, well…” I look over the chessboard. “I’m still waiting for you to make the next move in our game.”
He keeps his back turned to me, bringing a tea kettle to a screeching boil.
Even the cameras seem confused at his sudden coldness. From the wall, they inch their heads closer to him instead of me.
He pours two cups before turning around. Looking at me, then the cameras, he mumbles something I can’t quite catch. Something that makes them slink back into their positions on the wall.
“There’s something I can’t quite understand about you.” His voice is terse. “Something you need to make clear or we’re going to have a problem…”
I swallow, waiting.
“I was reading through your interview transcripts this morning,” he says. “There’s no mention of Shadow Man in any of them—not even ones with your lawyer, so it’s time for you to officially cut the shit…You said that you arrived to the scene and the victims were already dead?”
“Yes.” Same answer as always.
“Then you had to have crossed paths with the person who did commit this.” He looks deep into my eyes. “Timeline wise, even if you weren’t involved, you had to have caught a glimpse or known who the real killer was.”
This room suddenly feels ten times smaller.
The cameras softly click in succession, like they always do when they’re adjusting their microphones to make sure they catch every syllable in my response.
“I guess I should make it a question.” He looks impatient. “Why would you take the fall for a complete stranger?”
“I never thought I’d get arrested for what the real murderer did.” I admit. “I thought it’d be obvious that someone else did it, but by the time…”
“By the time what , Sadie?”
“By the time everything was said and done, and they were showing me all the so-called evidence, I was beginning to wonder if I’d imagined someone else being there before me, too.”
“So, you did see the suspect?”
I nod. “Briefly.”
“Did you know her—or him? Be honest.”
“I thought I did.”
“Before you were accepted into this experiment, when was the last time you thought about this person?”
“I think about him every day.” I pause. “I wonder if he’ll eventually get caught, since he’s probably still killing people.”
He blinks, looking like he’s torn between believing me and having me committed to a psych ward. “So, you were friends with this person? He was your accomplice, wasn’t he?”
“No.” I glare at him. “Please stop…”
“When was the last time you talked to him?”
“Maybe a year or so ago,” I say softly, admitting a truth I’ve hidden for years. “He promised he would help me get out but I got frustrated because he was taking too long… I hung up in his face and ignored all his call requests after that. I still opened his letters, though.”
“Is he currently in prison for something you did?” he asks.
“Feels like it most of these days.”
“Sounds like you need to work on who let into your life and upgrade to someone better,” he says, moving past me. “Since I have a lot of research to handle, you can have outdoor privileges for the rest of your stay here.”
“How does that work?”
“You let me know when you want to step outside, and I’ll let the team know to disable the alarm for an hour while you sit on your room’s patio.”
“Thank you.” I look over at my room, confused as to what patio he’s talking about.
“It’s hidden behind a panel,” he says, reading my mind. “Let me show you.” He stands to his feet and reaches for my hand, but then, realizing we’re not alone, he slides it into his pocket.
“Follow me, Sadie,” he whispers my name like a secret, showing me two panels in the wall that open outward.
The trees sway in the wind, whispering and beckoning me to listen to them sing for the rest of the afternoon.
I start to ask him for a chair, but I spot a guard pacing in the distance, ruining the scene.
“Can I sit on your patio?” I look at him.
“My patio?” He tilts his head to the side. “That’s where I was planning to do my work today.”
“I promise not to bother you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your patio,” he says. “It has the same view of the lake as mine does.”
Yours doesn’t have guards.
“Okay, thank you. I appreciate this, Dr. Weiss.”
Not wanting to push my luck, I head to the hallway closet to grab a few towels. I take my time choosing a blanket and sunscreen, and suddenly, Dr. Weiss is behind me.
He presses a palm against the small of my back and whispers against my neck.
“Yes, you can sit on my patio,” he says. “I left you a note on pages fifty and fifty-two in your Monte Cristo copy on how to do so…”
He walks away and I wait a few seconds before returning to my room. Picking up my book, I flip to the pages he suggested and again, decipher all the underlined letters in the printed words.
Roll a comforter under your bed sheets so it looks like you’re sleeping.
Head to my side once the roaming camera blinks red.
The roaming robot watches me make my bed and offers a note of encouragement on its screen:
Congratulations, Sadie Pretty.
You’ve made it to Day 11.
Keep making progress.
I continue following Dr. Weiss’s instructions, waiting for the robot to blink red.
Then I make a run for it.
The moment I step outside, the scent of the lake envelopes me. The wind blows hard, pushing me onto the bench.
Dr. Weiss sits beside me, humming occasionally as he types on his laptop. At some point, I press my knee against his, and he doesn’t make a move to push me away.
I stare at the view until the sun falls down the sky, soaking up every bit of this for whatever my future holds.
“What are you thinking about?” Dr. Weiss asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Nothing, Dr. Weiss.”
He slides a hand under my chin, making me face him.
“We discussed this, Sadie,” he says, his voice firm. “That’s not my name if the cameras aren’t watching.”
“What if the guards are?”
“They’re not on this side,” he says. “I would get an alert if they were.”
“Fine.” I look into his eyes. “Then I’m thinking about how you should actually change your name to something like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde when this is all over since I can’t seem to get your personality straight.”
He lets out a low laugh.
“I’m being serious,” I say. “One minute, you’re looking at me like you don’t want to stop, and the next?—”
“I’m doing my job?” He interrupts.
“Yes, that.” I pause.
“You’re just mad I didn’t come into your bed and finish what we started.”
“You didn’t let me touch you.”
He arches a brow, confused.
“I felt how hard I made you.”
“And?”
“It was one-sided.”
He stares at me for a long time before grabbing my hand and placing it over his sweatpants string.
I gently pull it loose, revealing his dark red briefs.
I look up at him, silently asking permission. His eyes narrow and he nods once—slowly.
I lower my head and take him into my mouth, inch by thick inch. He groans, his fingers sliding into my hair, guiding me as I move down his shaft.
“Fuck, Sadie…” he breathes.
I suck him deeper, swirling my tongue as he twitches against the back of my throat. His hand tightens as he thrusts just once—sharply.
“I’m about to come,” he warns, voice ragged. “Swallow, or pull back now.”
I don’t move. I stay right where I am and take every drop.
He slides his fingers through my hair one last time, still breathing heavily.
I don’t know if I’ve won his approval or just broken another rule. He hasn’t moved, hasn’t spoken—and his breathing is all I hear.
“Should I go back to my bedroom now?” I ask.
“For what?” He pushes me back onto the bench and pushes up my shirt, pressing kisses against my breasts. “The cameras already think you’re there…”