Chapter 21
NIC
I lie next to Lorna, finally feeling like we’ve made some progress, She’s been thoroughly fucked and is now sleeping soundly, for the first time in weeks. I lie with my hand resting on her swollen tummy, waiting to feel more movement come from inside her and feel even more determined to pull her out of the grief she’s in and show her what she has to look forward to.
Me and Dario are still none the wiser as to who shot her father, all we can guess is that it had something to do with the Russians. The fact that stupid son of a bitch led them straight to her, and they could now know she’s associated with him, is worrying. For over a decade, we and the Russians have kept clear of each other, neither of us has pushed boundaries. What we need to know is if Doyle was working for them or against them. Nothing right now is a certainty, but the fact there has been nothing for over a month suggests that whatever problem they had with Doyle has been put to rest.
I’m still not prepared to take any risks.
I feel a jolt under my palm and smile to myself as I carefully lean down.
“You should be letting your mamma sleep, she’s putting all her efforts into growing you big and strong,” I whisper to our child. “Listen, while you're awake I need you to know something.” I look up and check that Lorna’s still sleeping. She would never let me live it down if she heard me, and she’s got far too much of an upper hand on me already.
“I may have done a lot of wrong things in the past, but I'm going to get this right. I’m going to run a district. I’m going to provide you, your mamma, and any little Contes that come after you, with the best life. We’re going to be happy because you and her...” I look up at the woman who's changed my whole life. “You're the best thing to ever happen to me.” I gently kiss him or her before climbing back up the bed, and making Lorna stir.
“You good?” I check.
“Were you just talking to someone?” she asks, sleepily.
“You must have been dreaming. Are you comfortable?”
“I’m comfortable, just not used to him wriggling around so much. I guess he’s found out what his limbs are for.” She smiles contentedly with her eyes still closed.
“Him?” I frown in confusion. We could have found out at our last appointment if we were having a boy or a girl but she decided she wanted to wait for a surprise. I get the feeling that she was too sad to celebrate anything so soon after her father’s death, and I understand that.
“I just have a little feeling.” She yawns, rolling onto her side and sticking out her ass.
“Did you get the notes I sent to your phone?” Dario asks as I turn up the resistance on the treadmill.
“Yes, I got it,” I assure him, scrolling through them while we speak.
“I want it done, tonight. The longer he lives, the more chance we have of the cops picking him up. I can’t risk him talking, Nic.”
“This address, that's where he’s hiding out, right?” The fact that it’s a quiet suburban location takes a lot of pressure off.
“That’s right. I’ll send Vito and Pascal over to stand by your door while you're gone,” he assures me, keeping our conversation short when he hangs up the phone.
“Mmm, that's a fine view.” I hear Lorna’s voice come from behind me, and when I turn around and see her standing in the door frame, eating from a huge tub of ice cream, I take out my earphones and smile at her.
“I see you got your appetite back.” I jump off the treadmill, pick up a towel, and head closer to her.
“In more ways than one.” She dips her finger into the creamy vanilla ice cream and smears it onto my sweaty chest, then uses her warm, wet tongue to lick it off me. “Tastes good.” She looks up at me through her lashes like a vixen.
“Ice cream for breakfast, huh?” I smile as I use my thumb to wipe some from the corner of her mouth.
“Well, I couldn’t have what I really wanted for breakfast, because you weren’t there when I woke up.” She shoves the tub into my chest, walking over to the floor-to-ceiling mirror, by the weight bench.
“Do you really find this sexy?” She raises the little cami top she’s wearing up to her tits and cradles the bottom of her bump where the waistline from her pj shorts sit.
“Of course, I do. How many times do I have to tell you that?” I place the ice cream down on the bench and move to join her, sliding my arms through hers so I can rest them on her stomach.
“Do you wonder how you're going to feel about me when I’m not carrying your child?” Her eyes stare at me through our reflection.
“Not at all,” I answer, knowing that there's nothing that could change the way I feel about her, now.
“Then let's wait until after the baby comes before we get married.” All her sass and confidence seem to abandon her and suddenly she looks very vulnerable.
“Are you having second thoughts?” Due to recent circumstances, we haven’t set a date, yet. It seemed insensitive to talk about a wedding but, naturally, I assumed that it would happen before the baby came.
“No. No second thoughts, I just want you to be sure. I know you find all this fascinating and you feel this wild, instinctive connection to me, right now, but what if that’s all it is.” Her bottom lip starts to wobble as if she’s going to cry and I can’t have her be sad again.
“Lorna, you know that's not what this is. Of course, I feel that way but there’s more to it than that. I’ve been looking back on all the years we knew each other before and I’m doubting everything I thought I knew. The way I feel about you, right now, is never going to change, I’ve crossed that bridge and burned it behind me. You're stuck with me.”
The way she wets her lips and smiles indicates that the idea of that pleases her.
“I still think we should wait, we have a lot going on, and being a pregnant bride has never been on my bucket list. I want my figure back.”
“Whatever you want.” My response doesn’t just shock her, it shocks me too. I know I can be controlling and demanding, but I want Lorna to have everything perfect, and if her version of perfect means that I have to wait a while, then that’s what I’ll do.
“Well, that was easier than I thought.” My girl almost looks confused.
“Lorna, I just want you to be happy.” I kiss the dip between her neck and shoulder as I massage her tummy, and when our baby kicks against my hand, it reminds me that I can’t fail them.
“I have to head out for an hour or two, Vito’s going to come and stand guard,” I tell her, hoping she isn’t going to question me.
“Well, I’m going to take a long soak in the bath.” She turns her body and reaches up on her toes to kiss me. “You should probably stop for more ice cream on the way home.” She lifts the tub up on her way out the room, taking it with her and once I’m alone, I stare at my reflection and wonder what happened to the man I used to be.
I may not like him anymore, but I have to find him again for the next few hours so I can see through Dario’s task and kill another threat to the cause.