64. Reeve
SIXTY-FOUR
reeve
She took every single thing I said to her and omitted it from her existence, as if it meant nothing.
When it meant everything to me.
I don’t understand it. I’m not sure how she expects me to swallow and accept it, but I won’t.
I can’t.
The last couple of weeks have been nothing but progress. A new beginning. I divulged things to her about my past and what eats me alive on a daily basis. To have nothing lying between us as we move forward.
It didn’t work.
Not when I’m currently holding her marriage certificate in my hand, under strict orders to bring it back signed by Emilio. It’s as if he knows this will slaughter me fully if she does ink her name on the document.
She can’t.
She said she was falling in love with me.
And I have to believe it because the alternative is a dark and cold place, where my demons drag me in and I can’t escape.
Technically don’t want to.
Because, based on old realities and new ones, I can’t lose two women I’ve loved. I’m not built like that. And the rejection that she might give me today might send me reeling to that said place.
This was my last chance.
My last opportunity for her to listen to me.
And I’ll literally die inside if she shoves me away as if I meant nothing. There’s no one in the world besides my boys who I’ve ever felt safe and sound with. Bay Astor is that star in the sky that came down and granted me every wish of mine. She’s legit heaven wrapped in an ass for days and a pussy I lose myself in each and every time.
I told her I would take care of her sisters, even if I had to beat the shit out of Torin to give me the information.
I could…if she’d just give me the time.
Miracle worker isn’t in my signature line of shit I can pull out of my ass, but I would move hell and Earth to grab her what she needs.
High Enough by K. Flay blares off a speaker somewhere as I locate a pair of thick thighs underneath the Chevy Nova Bay drove before she flipped the thing.
I swear to God, my heart never leapt out of its place so quickly before when I saw it toss in the air. I’ve never run so fast. The simple reality that she could’ve been seriously hurt slamming into my brain over and over again with each placement of my feet as I sprinted toward her that night.
I’ve never felt so helpless and anxious but, thankfully, found her unharmed.
Now, I’m alert.
Of literally everything.
The way her tight jeans leave nothing to my imagination. It’s no matter how many times I’ve seen her naked, I’m still panting to see every inch. I still crave to slide between her legs and greedily bury my mouth over her sweet cunt just to drown in everything that passes by between us.
And shit has.
I’m not that delusional to have imagined it. I could feel it in her kiss last night. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It was everywhere, in black and white—us.
Those beautiful blue eyes glued on to me when I was balls deep inside her and you can’t fake lust. And I sure as hell noticed how much she wanted me near. How much she desired more. The way her lips parted, her tongue driving inside my mouth to taste and devour me.
She’s mine.
I said it before, and I’ll say it as many fuckin’ times as she needs so that it finally sinks. She may not be as close to being in love with me as I am indefinitely her, but I know that she cares.
And if she does as much as I think she does, she won’t be signing what I’ve just thrown on the hood of her dad’s car.
Leaning over, I grip both sides of the roller seat that she’s currently laying on and pull her out from underneath the car. Bay immediately goes on high alert, her foot coming up to propel her supposed attacker away when those blues latch onto me.
I see the sigh of relief leave her chest as she peers up. The ghost of a smile playing over her lips, but it disappears just as quickly, and I know she’s attempting to push me away. That she believes she has limited options.
But I’m one.
I’ll be anything and everything she needs while we sort out this whole mess with Judah and Torin, literally drowning in bourbon at all hours of the day and night.
“Hey, McQueen,” I extend a hand to help her up. “Fixin’ up your pop’s ride?”
She gives me a curt nod, and I hate that she hesitates for a second before taking my hand. “Yeah.”
Getting to her feet, Bay swipes a few pieces of hair away from her forehead. The stains of grease and dirt sit along her cheek and jaw and my fingers itch to rub it all over her while I drive her into the side of her pop’s ride and remind her all over again why she belongs to me.
“I was summoned here to give you this.” I point at the manila envelope on her father’s ride. “One of Emilio’s sick jokes.”
Bay’s blue eyes follow my gaze. “What is this?”
“Your marriage license to Ramsey.” I see her whole body stiffen as she leans back to prop herself along the door of the black Nova, as if needing the support to even think or deal with it.
She doesn’t respond, tucking her chin into her chest as I inch forward.
I need her to not do this. I need her to stay with me. I can fix Torin. The motherfucker is just too petty for his own good, but I can fix all her problems.
“McQueen,” I mutter, regaining her focus, and she’s killing me.
I won’t be able to breathe right until she makes a decision. My heart is literally pounding a hole in my chest right now because this is life or death. Bay holds my entire existence in her little hands and my death will be her not choosing me and rotting away with memories I won’t be able to throw away.
No matter how much I try.
“Tell me to take this back without your signature on it,” I say under my breath. “You belong to me. And I will always have your back.”
Bay stares at me, but I see the moment her blue eyes steel against my words. Her stubbornness coming out to play with me, but I’ve been with Torin for years. It won’t work as much as she wants it to.
“Like you did when Torin sent my sisters to foster care and got Levi sent to jail?”
“He’s off the rails”—I wipe a bead my sweat off my forehead as she stares up at me. I want to be her savior and her man. There’s nothing more I wish for in this world. “I can handle him. Cairo and I got it.”
Her brows clash together. “Cairo is the last person I want to handle anything.”
“Then stick with me. This is all temporary.”
“I can’t depend on temporary,” she issues back. “I can’t rely on the what-ifs. I need the nows and the certainty. Levi can’t go to prison. And my sisters can’t be raised by another family. And I can’t tell my da—” She trails off before my chest bumps into hers.
She smells like motor oil and burgers with a hint of something floral. My cock demands entrance into her body, but my head…that motherfucker won’t let it rest. It won’t allow me to move forward if she’s going to marry the monster named Ramsey Wildes. I won’t be able to protect her under his hand and she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She doesn’t know everything he’s done. He will destroy her and, in turn, it will devastate her father and sisters.
“I know you have a lot on your plate,” I impart softly. “But your dad is going to get out of the hospital. He’s going to be fine. I’ll make sure he has a home?—”
“ Stop ,” she clips out, averting her focus elsewhere. “I can’t do this with you right now. Please stop making this a big deal.”
“It is a big fuckin’ deal,” I sneer back. “You’re my girl. You’re giving yourself to someone who’s not going to give a shit about you. Say he gets Levi out of jail and your sisters delivered to you, the fuck is going to happen after that?”
She brings her fingers up to her temple, rubbing away what seems to be a forming headache. “I dunno, but that’s not important right now?—”
“ You’re important all the time, McQueen. Don’t do this to me. To yourself, fuck me and what I want. You need to be alive after all this.”
“Emilio isn’t going to have me killed.”
“It’s not him I’m worried about right now. Ramsey is a wild card. A fucking psycho.”
“Take care of Torin for me,” she quakes, sounding as if she’s on the verge of tears. “I’m pissed at him…but I know he’s grieving Judah right now and?—”
“I don’t care about Wildes right now when he’s done all this to you. Judah’s been dead for years—” Her eyes slice back over to me.
“Then why is he acting as though it just happened?”
I shift my weight because it’s an easy answer. Maybe it was Cairo and my fault for never setting him straight, but Torin has always been adamant that Judah is alive. That he never felt as though he was missing from the world and would always come back.
“Torin always felt as though Judah was never missing. In the sense that he was off somewhere doing his own thing. That…one day, he’d come back.”
Bay’s face skews a little bit, and I can see the pure hatred that she has for the situation blanket over her features. “Denial. He was always stuck in the stage of denial.”
I give a curt nod. “I guess Cairo and I had always hoped as well. Judah was always a large presence to Torin and he looked up to him. It was the only male he had in his life that didn’t treat him like shit.”
Bay bobs her head as if understanding, but remains silent.
“He’ll get over this, baby. I know he loves you, he just doesn’t know how to handle the disappointment and all the feelings involved. He heard you on that video. He heard the gunshot?—”
“That was Matteo .”
“Alright,” I reply simply. “I believe you.”
Her eyes widen a bit. “You do?”
“I do.” My palm finds her hip, and I begin kneading the flesh there. “Tell me to take this back because you’re killing me right now. I love you… so fucking much that it kills me to stand here and have this conversation with you right now.”
She stares at me, her eyes glossed over in sadness, but I already know what she’s going to say.
I can fucking feel it.
I just need her to do it so I can be done.
To break my heart and allow me to go down the dark rabbit hole where I won’t have to think about her anymore.
Those crystal-clear blues penetrate into my soul, something I thought was dead long ago, but she came around. Her and her pain the ass attitude that I tumbled down. I wanted to be out. I wanted to be within her view.
But now, it hurts.
It hurts so fucking bad that it’s difficult to breathe.
“Tell me you love me,” I mutter desperately. “Even if it’s a lie. I just need to hear it one time.”
“Reeve, sto?—”
“ Do it, McQueen. Fucking lie to me.”
She attempts to avert her eyes, but I clutch onto her jaw and force her to face me when she straight shatters me into pieces. So I can remember how easily she did it. That I meant shit all to her.
“I’d never lie to you,” she says softly. “Never you, Reevie.”
That nickname stabs me in the chest. I haven’t heard it since Baby Wildes fucking went rogue and fucked it up for everyone.
For me.
He knew how I felt about her and didn’t give a shit how it would, not only affect her, but myself as well.
Always the selfish prick, the entitled little asshole who didn’t know how to think before he acted. Even if he burned the whole world down around him, he wouldn’t think twice about it unless he had to grab something from the fridge, but it’d be in ashes by then.
“Don’t sign it,” I implore her one more time. “Please, Bay…I can promise you that I’ll always put you first. I will always?—”
“I’m marrying Ramsey,” she clips out, peeling away from my touch and sealing our fate.
It was always a means to an end.
That’s what she always said, right? I just didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want her to leave me. I believed that maybe I was enough.
Bay turns and I don’t watch her.
I can’t.
It’s our final night together and the way she just dismissed everything we had is heart-wrenching to say the least.
My brain scrambles for serenity, but anger slowly seeps inside and clamors on to all else. Especially when the folder is placed against my chest and seals everything moments later.
All I wanted.
Her.
“I hope you live the most miserable existence,” I leer, not able to stop myself from speaking my mind. “What an absolute disappointment you became in my life.”
I meet her gaze and a tear falls to her high cheekbones, but I don’t spend anytime retracting or dwelling on what I had just said.
No, rage just checked in to my heart, and it’s not looking to leave anytime soon.
“Not as much as you’ve been to mine when you told me you fucked your sister,” she clips back, and I feel all the blood rush from my head.
It’s the final straw.
The way she really felt about that story. My vulnerability and openness finally came back to bite me in the ass.
I’m nothing to her but someone with a dick to get off on. It was stupid and naive of me to believe for a moment that she actually was falling in love with me.
That she would’ve chosen me without a Titan seat and a big name to stroke my cock to.
This was always a means to an end.
“So, you are a ruthless bitch,” I fume back. “Just like Cairo said.” I push my cheek out with my tongue and force my body to fucking leave. “Thanks for releasing me, McQueen. Now I can hate-fuck the blonde waiting for me on my phone and not absorb any sort of qualms or feelings behind it.”
“Reeve—”
“ Don’t say my fucking name ever again,” I bark out at her, glowering down at the raven beauty who just crushed me with one merciless sentence. “You’ll never, ever get another piece of me. I’m fuckin’ dead to you.”
Her nostrils flare as she raises the cute little chin of hers, but Bay doesn’t give me anything else to feed on. To hate her for.
So I keep ramping up with anything possible to make her feel as uncomfortable as I do again in my own skin.
“I guess I’ll see you around Friday night dinners then.”
Bay immediately glowers at me. “No, you’re not. Because you’re not coming. This severs all ties.”
“But I still got all the ties with Torin, baby. And I always show up to his rescue.”
“Wanna bet?”
“I don’t bet with wastes of time, but I can guarantee. But, you’re more than welcome to try to stop me, McQueen.”
And with that, I stride out of the garage, plucking my phone out of my jean’s pocket to reach out to the blonde, Macie, who’s been feening for my dick for weeks.
She wants to replace Bay. Wants to smoke and get high and fuck.
I’m all down for that.
Just not with one woman anymore.
I want them all.