8. Ky
Chapter Eight
Ky
I wasn’t sure Sparks was going to survive our set with Hayat Hellion Cutter. He’d been my best friend for the majority of our lives, but he was pushing buttons that had both Jamie and me ready to take a swing at him.
But there was no denying the chemistry between him and Hayat. He was living up to his name with all the sparks flying as the two of them teased each other throughout the songs.
Hayat had us all hyped up, Sparks included, but the fucker wouldn’t admit it to himself yet.
Then halfway through our second song, the one Jamie had suggested because it was his favorite cover we did, Sparks did something—fuck, I wasn’t even sure what the hell he did—that had Hayat throwing a drumstick at him. It nailed him in the shoulder, but she didn’t miss a beat, picking up another stick from the bag between her feet and continuing to play, her energy never once changing.
The chemistry burned higher, threatening to burst into flame.
After that, Sparks seemed to perk up more, and by the end of the third song, he was even standing closer to the drums, grinning at her. When I saw him wink at her, I was torn between wanting to scoop his eyes from his head or hugging the sonofabitch for finally seeing what the rest of us saw.
I couldn’t deny it. I was jealous of that magic that flared between them. Or Jamie and Hayat. Or the three of them together. I hated it. But I fucking loved it.
Because I wanted this so goddamn bad. Us. As a band.
As more.
But we had secrets we hadn’t told her or anyone else.
Would she accept them when we confessed? Or would she run from all three of us and never look back?
Excitement mixed with my anxiety. My fear of losing her before I ever tasted her—before any of us could truly make her ours.
As soon as the last note faded, Hayat stood, her left hand lifted, drumstick in hand and aimed right at Sparks’s chest. “You ever try to trip me up like that again, and I’ll be using your heart as a snare.” She said it so sweetly, but there was no denying the venom beneath it. Or the flames in her eyes. Her tone might have been soft, saccharine, but she put so much heat behind her words that she scalded the three of us on that stage.
Fuck, that was sexy.
Such a pretty voice, full of so much dangerous promise.
Thankfully, I was holding my guitar low enough to hide how hard my cock was. I grasped Hayat’s wrist before she could stab my guitarist through the heart. “He was just playing with you, Hellion,” I assured her, letting my thumb skim soothingly over her inner wrist. Shit, her skin was soft. “Weren’t you, Sparks?”
He nodded, keeping his eyes on her hand that I wasn’t restraining, the tip of his tongue licking over his bottom lip. “I was playing. But only because I was still trying to deny how amazing we all are together. I apologize for being a dickhead, Hellion.”
“Or should we call you Havoc?” Jamie choked out as he came over, his phone in hand. When he lifted his head, his eyes were huge behind his mask as he turned the device to show us all the screen. “You are Havoc?”
She gave a careless shrug. “I use the persona online to share my passion for playing, without risking the world claiming I’m only piggybacking off my grandfathers’ names. Atticus mentioned Wes was recording. I figured he would post something about this, and if he got a shot of my tattoos, then he was able to prove it was really me.”
Her lips twisted into a grimace. Even that was pretty. I was losing my mind. Beauty like hers shouldn’t exist, but it did. And I wanted to drown in it. Turning, she showed us the crossed drumsticks on the backs of both of her upper arms. “I’ve only shown my ink once or twice over the years, but it got attention. I thought it would take a little longer before it went viral, but he must have known what hashtags to use to prompt the algorithm so quickly.”
From offstage, I heard a few savage curses. Harris, Devlin, Aubree, and Kale all were looking at their own phones. Atticus was still seated, patiently waiting, but I could read the resignation on his face. He’d been present for our trial with Hayat. Or Hellion. Or fuck, maybe we should just keep calling her Havoc.
“Hayat,” Harris called.
“Yeah, Dad,” she said, blowing out a heavy exhale. “I know.”
“Sweetheart, we can fix this,” Devlin tried to reassure her.
Smiling sadly, she shook her head. “Nah, Pop-Pop. It’s okay. I couldn’t hide who I am forever. I’m not worried about losing Havoc right now.” Her gaze shifted to us. “Do you three need to take time to consider who you want to fill the open spot? I understand if you do. You’re all about anonymity, so I know you’ll need time to consider the whole Havoc situation.”
“But you understand anonymity too,” Jamie reasoned, speaking what I was thinking aloud. “You even auditioned completely anonymously. That shows me you’ll be considerate of our own needs to hide our identities.”
“Yeah,” Sparks agreed, surprising her. “My hesitation about not offering you the drummer spot was because I thought you would be some attention diva. But you were able to hide who you really are for years. This changes things for me, Havoc.”
She flinched. “I’m not sure I’m Havoc any longer. Let’s stick with Hayat. Or if we’re going to use pseudonyms, I’ll go with Hellion. Nate seemed to get a kick out of that.”
“I dunno,” Jamie said, slinging an arm around her shoulders, his fingers trailing lightly up and down her arm. I heard her breath catch ever so softly, but she tried to hide her reaction. “I like Havoc a hell of a lot. But Hellion works too.”
A phone rang from a table offstage, causing Hayat to groan. “That’s mine. I need to get it.”
Jamie kissed the side of her head. Unconsciously, my fingers clenched around my guitar, fighting the sudden need to punch my friend in the face, jealousy churning sourly in my gut. I needed to get myself in check. It was obvious we all wanted her. And we’d made rules about girls years ago. If we were going to do this—and I sure as fuck wanted to—then I was going to have to learn to share.
“You take care of your business, Hellion,” Jamie told her softly. “We’re going to have a band meeting. But we’ll catch up with you soon.”
Having Jamie be the one of the three of us taking charge was unusual. He didn’t like assuming leadership roles, unless it was in the bedroom. Everything else usually fell on me—and Sparks by default, if needed. Sparks shot me a raised brow, but with an amused look, while Hayat went to answer her phone.
“Hey, Aunt Emmie… Yeah, I saw… No, I’m fine. It’s okay. Really.” She turned her back to us as she lowered her voice, speaking too low for us to hear what she was saying from where we still stood onstage.
“Looks like she’s got some damage control to deal with,” Sparks observed with empathy.
“Is that a problem for any of you?” I asked, watching Hayat as her shoulders drooped, but I still heard her laugh softly. There was sadness in the sound, which made something deep in my brain itch. I wanted to fix this for her, eradicate anything and everything that ever made her heart ache.
Jamie and Sparks both turned to me. “Doesn’t sound like it’s one for you,” Jamie said smugly. “I’ve said from day one she was the one for us. It was Sparks who got all up in his bullshit. Then you were all up in your own mindfuck over it all. If we’re going for a band vote, I’m Team Hellion.”
“Same,” Sparks agreed with a grunt.
“Then it’s unanimous,” I muttered. “Let’s let Atticus know, and then we can take Hellion out to celebrate. If she’s up to it.”
Atticus had a resigned grin on his face as the three of us approached him. Standing, he held out his hand. “I knew it would be Hellion as soon as she went up against Cutter. Watching the four of you up there, just doing cover songs, was magic. I can’t wait to see what you do with your own music later on. Good luck.”
“Thanks, man,” Sparks told him. “You impressed the fuck out of us. We hope you find the right band for you.”
He shrugged, only a hint of disappointment lingering on his face. With Atticus’s skills, another band would snatch him up in a minute. And maybe one day, we’d play the same stage together on tour. “I have a few other auditions lined up this week. Who knows, we might see each other on the big stage together one day.”
While they continued to talk a little longer, I walked over to where Hayat was still on the phone. “Aunt Emmie, I appreciate all you and Mieke are doing, but I promise you I’m fine. In fact, I already have two emails from my sponsors offering me a thirty percent increase. Another one fired me, but I wasn’t all that happy with how they were marketing their brand to begin with. I’m fine. Havoc is fine. And I…”
She trailed off when she saw me standing nearby, waiting. Her lips tipped up, almost half shy, half cocky as fuck. One hundred percent beautiful mayhem.
“I’m part of Autumn’s Slumber now, Aunt Emmie,” she announced with a grin. “Yeah, the band Dad just hired. You should hear us. What? Okay, okay. Chill out for a second here. I’m only the drummer. That’s something the band needs to talk about and vote on as a whole. But I will talk to them about it. Give me a few days, and I’ll get back to you… Love you too. Bye!”
Hanging up, she turned to face me with glittering aquamarine eyes. Fuck, I could drown in those eyes. Literally. They looked so deep, clear, and sparkling. Pure. Chaos and mayhem. So many layers of fun and lust and perhaps more. So goddamn much more. It was as if an entire aquamarine should have been floating around in there. Even with the black makeup smeared around her eyes, some of it streaked down her cheeks from sweat, she was so fucking beautiful.
And dangerous. To my sanity, my secrets, and my heart. But I didn’t care. Fuck it all. I already knew I would trade everything I had, everything I’d worked for, just for a lifetime with this woman.
“You seem confident that you’re Autumn’s Slumber’s new drummer,” I teased.
She gazed over to where Jamie and Sparks were saying goodbye to Atticus, a half grin tilting her plump, kissable lips. “I trusted you three to make the right choice. Even if some of you do act like you have balls for brains.”
“Sparks does have his moments,” I agreed, stepping closer. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m six-one, with a high metabolism. I am always hungry.” She tucked her phone into the pocket of her sweatpants. “What’s on the menu?”
“Takeout at our apartment, all the beer you can drink, and apparently a vote on whatever your aunt just suggested to you.” I moved until we were mere inches apart. My fingers itched to touch her. Graze down her arms. Skim my thumb over her bottom lip. Grab her sweet ass in both hands and lift her up so I could rub her up and down my hard-as-steel cock.
Gritting my teeth, I refrained. But only because her dad and grandfather were on the other side of the room, still talking to Aubree and Kale. Definitely wouldn’t be the smartest decision of my life to maul my new boss’s daughter in front of him. Especially so early in our working relationship.
Didn’t mean I wasn’t achingly tempted, though.
Especially when she gave me that impish grin and her dimples seemed to go even deeper. “I like my pizza thin crust with extra toppings. And cheesy garlic knots. Also, for full disclosure, I have another few months before I can ‘legally’ drink, but I prefer hard cider over beer.” She nibbled her lip, looking up at me through lashes so thick and sexy, I almost came in my pants. “But I’m also a strawberry daiquiri girl. With extra whipped cream and mixed berries on top.”
Sucking in a breath through my teeth, I shifted so I could discreetly reposition my cock. But her gaze dropped down at the slight action. Heat that had nothing to do with exertion filled her cheeks. When her eyes collided with mine again, she licked her lips in a hungry kind of way that made me consider saying to hell with it and kissing her then and there.
“Full disclosure,” she whispered, tipping her head to the side. “I don’t do casual sex.”
“Good,” I growled, risking taking a half step closer, letting her feel the evidence of how hard I was for her grazing her side. “Because there will be nothing casual about us, Hayat.”
“Not to sound like a broken record here, but full disclosure, because we should all start off with complete openness between the four of us.” Her gaze shifted over to Jamie and Sparks, hunger flickering in those unusual blue depths. Blinking a few times, she looked up at me with more seriousness than I’d seen from her yet. “I have feelings for all three of you. Don’t ask what kind, because I’m still trying to decipher them myself. But they’re there, and they are intense.”
She was going to kill me if she kept making confessions like that. “Well then, I think you need to move that sweet ass so we can go back to our place and figure all of this out.”
Hayat sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “About the band?”
“About everything, Hellion.”