Chapter 31 #2
I can’t stop crying, so I pull over on the side of the highway and try to get myself together, but his voice is in my head, so loud and big and mean, and damn it. I thought I’d battled my way through this and that I was so much better.
I’ve been so much better.
When I can finally get the tears to slow down, I put the car in gear and drive back toward Tucker’s ranch.
Toward Tucker.
I don’t know what to do. I know that I should have these wounds looked at because I don’t want them to get infected. I’ve been there, done that, and it’s miserable. But the thought of going to the doctor, the thought of literally anyone other than Tucker touching me makes my stomach turn.
So, I go home. It may not be my forever home, but it’s home for now, and I need it more than anything.
When I manage to climb out of the car, Tucker comes running from inside the house, as if he can’t get to me fast enough.
“Dr. Fisher called me,” he says, but when he reaches out to touch me, I flinch away, and his jaw tightens. “Where are you hurt, Duchess?”
“I’m fine.” I’m so fucking embarrassed, and I can’t meet his gaze. “I’ll just go to the cabin—”
“No fucking way. Look at me, baby.” He gently tilts my chin up so he can see my eyes, and my lower lip quivers because he’s looking at me with so much love, and I don’t deserve that. I’m too broken. “Ah, sweetheart, talk to me. Where are you hurt, besides your gorgeous face?”
“M-my shoulder and the back of my arm.” I turn so he can see, and he hisses in a breath. “Tore through my shirt.”
“You’re bleeding.” His voice is so rough and tinged with anger. “Come on, we’re going to get you fixed up. Actually, I should take you—”
“No. I don’t want to be touched, Tucker.” I shake my head and back away from him until my ass hits the car door. “Only you. No one else gets to touch me.”
“Hey, okay. Okay, baby.” His voice is tender, and he leans in to kiss my forehead. “I’ve got you, my love. I’ve got you. Let’s go inside, okay?”
I hesitantly nod, and Tucker takes my hand and then leads me up the stairs and into the house.
“We’ll need a first aid kit,” I say softly, and without another word, Tucker leads me to his main bathroom, where he has me sit on the closed toilet, and he squats in front of me so he can see my face.
“Before we dig into any of this, I want you to take a breath with me, okay? You’re breathing too shallow, and I need you to calm it down for me.”
My nod is shaky, and he pulls in a deep breath through his nose. I mirror him, taking a breath, and when I let it out, a sob comes with it, and Tucker leans forward so I can collapse into his chest.
He’s careful not to touch my back, but he holds me and rubs his hand over my hair, and I finally feel safe.
“I’m so sorry, baby. Fuck, I’m sorry. You’re so fucking amazing, you didn’t deserve this. Take another breath for me, okay?”
I follow his orders, and when I finally start to calm down, he wets a washcloth with cold water and wipes it over my face. His lips are soft, and when he lays them over mine so sweetly, it makes fresh tears form.
“I hate it when you cry,” he whispers raggedly. “Tell me what happened. Dr. Fisher didn’t see it all.”
“It happened fast.” I swallow hard and let him wipe my face again.
My shoulder hurts so fucking bad, and as if he can sense what I need, he helps me get the ruined T-shirt off.
“I was in the barn looking at the injured horse, and suddenly, I heard the whip outside. When I looked out at the paddock, the trainer was cracking it, and it looked like he was going to hit the horse, and I just reacted.”
Tucker goes very still, and his eyes go hot, and when I would look away, he takes my chin and forces my gaze up to his own.
“You put yourself between a man with a whip and a horse?”
“I didn’t want the horse to get hit because I know what that feels like, and—”
“Jesus fuck,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Darby—”
“I could hear his voice.”
He frowns and shakes his head again. “Who’s voice?”
“My father’s. How gleeful he was when he’d make me bleed, and the horrible things he said, and the way it felt.
And I just reacted. I’m sorry I’m broken.
I’m sorry that I can’t be normal and carefree and you don’t deserve this.
You shouldn’t have to deal with a woman this fucking damaged, so I’m just going to go—”
He growls and frames my face in his hands, staring into my eyes, and I swear his are glassy, as if my words are tearing him apart like the whip did to my flesh.
“You’ll never say that again, do you hear me, Darby?
You’re not broken. You’re nothing but fucking amazing and everything in this world that I need, so you won’t ever talk that way about the woman I love.
We’re going to have a conversation about the fact that you put yourself between a whip and a fucking horse, but for now, we’re going to clean you up, and I’m going to remind you how much I love you until you believe me. ”
I swallow hard and then have to do it again because I can’t speak through the knot in my throat. No one has ever fought for me like this.
No one has ever.