Chapter 37
thirty-seven
ROSE
After a sleepless night in my ghost of a home, I sip my coffee, but the taste is ash on my tongue. There’s no comfort in this place I used to call my own. This house is a reminder of what I had and what was ripped away by my own hands. I sigh and pinch my eyes closed.
The mistakes I’ve made cost me so much, even if I don’t fully understand everything yet. But I will. The warnings in my head are screaming at me to leave it alone.
To let it be.
But I can’t.
I have to know the truth, and the only way to do that is to find it myself.
My driver stops outside Irene’s house. I set my coffee in the cupholder and get out, climbing up the steps of her worn porch with my stomach in my throat. The siding on her small home is chipped and peeling. My heart trembles in my chest as I lift my fist and knock.
Please .
I don’t know if I’m begging the universe for Dare or my dad to be right. Either way, it ends with my trust betrayed.
Shivering in the chill of December’s beginning, I wait with bated breath as the door slowly opens. Warm air washes over me as it’s ripped from the house by the cruel pre-winter wind.
A soft inhale. “Rose?” Irene’s familiar voice almost knocks me over.
My knees buckle, and I grasp the railing for support. I take in the soft wrinkles, the streaks of gray in her hair. Oh, thank god. She’s safe. She’s not dead. Dare didn’t hurt her.
Irene’s gaze clouds with concern as she studies me. “What are you doing here? Where’s your coat?”
“You’re okay,” I rasp, staring at her as tears prick the edges of my eyes.
“Of course I am, sweet girl, but you’re not. Come in and sit down before you catch a cold.” She grabs my arm and pulls me in.
I follow without protest. Her grip is steady and strong. Healthy. Safe. Dare wasn’t lying. I’ve never been so relieved.
A baby’s soft cries fill the house. “Let me grab my granddaughter,” Irene says, releasing me and leaving me in her small entryway.
There’s a worn wooden coat rack on the wall. Scarves and jackets and hats hang from every hook. The tray on the floor for boots is ready for the first snowfall, and Irene’s shoes are carefully tucked into cubbies.
It’s so simple, but knowing she’s been preparing for winter and not rotting somewhere brings another wave of tears. I sniff and swipe my hands over my cheeks before Irene comes back. Her house smells like sweets. Like happiness and love. Like you can come here and know you’ll be safe .
Irene returns, holding her grandchild in her arms. She kisses her chubby cheeks. “I’m sorry, I would have cleaned if I knew you were coming.” She glances around with a frown. Like her home is something to be ashamed of.
That fact that she thinks I care guts me.
“You don’t need to apologize,” I assure her. “I’m sorry for stopping by unannounced. My father told me you haven’t been coming in to work, and I was worried and I...” I trail off with a laugh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. This is your home and none of my business.”
“Rose,” Irene says, voice gentle. “It’s okay. Will you come sit?” She tips her head toward the living room.
“I’d love that.”
Beaming, she bounces the baby in her arms and murmurs to the child as she leads me into the living room. I take a seat on her couch, and she sets the baby on the floor near a cluster of toys before joining me.
With a sigh, she looks at me. “I should have called to give my notice, but I’ve taken another job.”
“Oh?”
She nods and glances away. “Mr. Richardson offered me better pay and a challenge. He’s training me to be an executive assistant.” Irene glances at me, brushing her hand over her graying hair. “Who would have thought an old girl like me could learn new tricks?”
My mouth opens, then snaps shut.
The video my dad showed me had nothing to do with Dare threatening her. “Dare gave you a job?”
She nods. “I hope you’re not mad.”
Swallowing the bile, I shake my head. “Don’t be silly. If it’s better pay and you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
“I am happy. Mr. Richardson is kind. Not so mean, like everyone says, if you ask me.” She grins. “But I’m sure you know that. You’re his wife, after all.”
I was.
But now?
I don’t know who I am or where I belong.
Alone once more, I’m faced with the truth. Dad lied.
Again.
After so many recent betrayals, I should be numb, but this lie cuts deep into my marrow and settles heavily on my soul. Dad made me believe Irene was in danger. Had I not already been spiraling with jealousy, I might’ve questioned what he said. I might’ve gone to see Irene before confronting Dare.
But I didn’t, and I can’t change the past. I hope Dare will be open to talking to me.
Rose
Hey. Can we talk?
I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your sisters. I hope they’re okay.
I’d really love to discuss things.
A few days pass, and it’s like I’m frozen in time. Stuck trying to rewind and undo the damage.
Are you going to ignore me forever?
Dare, please. I’m so sorry.
Nothing. Not a word. I call once, but the sound of his voicemail recording punches through my chest, and I hang up without leaving a message.
Dad doesn’t call. Dad doesn’t text.
But maybe that’s for the best. I don’t know that I could talk to him without losing my shit. I can’t go to work at JD Miller the only thing disturbing the quiet is the soft roar of heating water. If Dare were here, maybe he’d know what to say. Regret is heavy on my mind, and I’m too lost in my head to carry a conversation. So, I let the quiet linger, hating that every moment that passes is another moment when I’m left incomplete.
I grab three blue mugs and drop peppermint tea bags into each one. The minty scent tingles in my nostrils. The hot water bubbles as I pour it into the mugs, the last drops trickling out in soft drops.
I hand mugs to each of them, then glance at Orion. Why does he look so serious? “So. What’s this news?”
He grimaces. “You should both sit down.”
I pause with the mug at my lips and study him. He’s hard to read, but his eyes are almost filled with pity. Unease unfurls in my gut. “You’re scaring me,” I say with a hollow laugh.
Once I’m seated on his left and Cassia on his right, Orion sighs and grabs his computer from his bag. “You asked me to look into your mother’s death.”
Cassia gasps.
I shoot her an apologetic look. It’s been a bit since we last chatted.
She waves it away. “And?”
Orion’s eyes narrow at the unwelcome prompt. “And it took a bit, but I found some things that are...concerning.” Orion pulls up some documents on his computer. “I’m going to warn you, it’s not good for either of you. Do you really want to know?”
He glances at Cassia first.
She blinks, face scrunching, then glances at me in confusion before slowly nodding.
“Okay, and you? ”
The severity of his features tightens my chest, but I don’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Orion turns the laptop toward me. I lean in and read the screen, eyebrows drawing together. “My mom had her own companies?”
“No,” Orion says, showing Cassia the paperwork as well. “Someone created these companies in her name.”
“I don’t understand.”
Orion switches apps and shows me an image of another document. “This is your mother’s signature.” He shows me another. “And so is this.” He shifts through a few more. “And this”—he pulls up the incorporation document again, and the signature doesn’t match—”is not hers.”
My chest clenches. “It’s my dad’s,” I whisper. Why would he do that?
Orion nods. “It’s here.” He pulls up another file, this one a sheet full of checks cut or deposited by this company. The front of each one written and the back of every deposit has my mom’s fake signature. “And here.” He pulls up another set of incorporation documents. “And here.”
“Okay,” I say, pulling away from the screen. “I don’t understand what you’re telling me.”
Orion grimaces. “Well, once I found this, I put in a call with my friend, who’s a cyber specialist and a better hacker than your friend—” He gives Cassia a look and she bristles. “He was able to pull the books for these companies, and I sent those to my buddy who is a forensic accountant.” He pauses and looks at me again. “Are you really sure you want to know?”
He’s never been this cautious with breaking news before. I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.
“Fuck, kid,” he says, shaking his head and pulling up more documents. “From what we can tell, your dad was stealing money from JD Miller & Co and funneling it through these corporations he put in your mother’s name. He was writing checks to himself, but that’s not the weirdest thing.” Orion shows me the screen again, which now displays dissolution paperwork. “The company was dissolved. Look at the signature.”
These letters are soft and looping. Not the hard-edged lines from when my dad forged her name. They’re the same style of letters on the birthday cards I keep tucked in the back of my closet.
“That’s my mom’s handwriting,” I say, brow furrowing. Did she find out or something?
“Exactly. I think your dad was stealing money.”
“But why? He has plenty,” I counter.
“That’s where the other person comes into play. Rayce Lions,” Orion says. “I’m still tracking him down, but from what I can tell, Rayce owned a mortgage company. If that wasn’t enough, apparently your dad was in bed with someone named Ryker Williams, who owns a debt collection company.”
Cassia sucks in a sharp breath. “What’s the company’s name?”
Orion hesitates. The pause holds weight, and so does the sad downturn of his lips. “I think you know.”
“No.” Cassia shakes her head. “No. That’s not possible.”
“I’m afraid it is.” Orion takes a sip of his tea, probably to gather the courage needed to rip both our lives apart, then scratches his eyebrow. “The money that Rose’s dad was depositing was traced back to the debt collection agency.”
Finally understanding, I suck in a breath. Cassia has been searching for the people who gave her dad the bad loan for years...looking for the owner of the collection agency who relentlessly hounded him and put so much stress on his heart that it finally gave out. A stone drops into the pit of my stomach.
This can’t be happening.
Cassia swipes at her cheeks and her shoulders tremble. Sliding out of my seat, I wrap my arms around her. She tenses. “I’m okay.”
Orion continues. “The checks your dad wrote were sent to Rayce.”
Every inch of my skin is suddenly tight and hot. I wish Cassia’s words were true. This can’t be real. Clearing my throat, I put the pieces together. Part of me needs to hear it said out loud, to see if there’s some type of misunderstanding.
“So...my dad was getting kickbacks from the debt collection company, and he was paying the mortgage company, which means he orchestrated bad loans that would feed the debt collection agency?”
Orion grimaces. “Everything points in that direction.”
His words are like the final nail in the coffin.
Cassia’s breaths are shallow and ragged now. “Which means your dad is the reason mine died.”
A lump lodges in my throat and my chin quivers. Oh my god. Cassia has spent so long hunting down the person who was ruining so many lives, and all along, he’s been right in front of her. It was my dad.
Will she hate me? What do I even say? Sorry my dad is a terrible person? Nothing will make it better.
Cassia pushes out of her chair, and my arm slips from her shoulders as she takes two steps away. My heart sinks. With shaking hands, she grabs her purse. She glances at me with watery eyes.
Guilt clogs my throat. “Cassia?—”
“I know it wasn’t you.” She cuts me off, averting her gaze and swiping at her damp cheeks. “I need. I think I need some space to process.” She sniffs hard.
I have no idea what she’s thinking. No idea if she thinks I’m as terrible as my father, or if part of her can’t stand the thought of being associated with the daughter of the man who ruined her dad’s life.
Hurt lances through me, and I swallow the bitter taste on my tongue. “I understand.”
Cassia chews on her lip and nods at Orion before fleeing. I watch her go, hollowness burrowing deeper into my heart.
Did I just lose my best friend?
“There’s more,” Orion says.
Turning to him, I shake my head. “What could be worse than that?”
“Look at the date on the dissolution paperwork.” He shows me the document again.
Leaning in, I scan the screen, breath catching. “That’s a week before my mom died.”
Orion runs his hand over stubble, searching my face. “Do you remember anything about that time?”
The minty scent of the tea tingles in my nostrils as I take a sip. Truth be told, I haven’t thought about the days leading up to Mom’s death in a long time. It’s all been buried in the back of my mind, that grief untouched, for the most part. What do I remember? Oxygen trembles in my lungs as I probe my memories, purposefully rooting around in moments I’ve tried to forget. The funeral was on a stormy Saturday. The rain fell as hard as my tears. There were so many people, but that was the first day I really felt alone because Dad wouldn’t talk to me.
He was silent as a stone, and I remember thinking it was weird because...he’d been yelling so much .
Exhaling, I set my mug down. “They were fighting.” Throat tight as a fist, my voice comes out hoarse. “I don’t remember what about, but there was a lot of screaming.”
Admitting the words out loud sends me back to the night Mom went out on her walk. She tucked me into bed and put me to sleep, but I woke up when something heavy crashed to the floor.
“Mama!” I scream, bolting up in bed, terrified of that sound.
“Great. You woke Rosalynn,” Mommy snaps.
“You have no idea what you’ve done!” Daddy’s shout carries up to my room, and I sink back into my pillows, covering my face with my blanket to hide my trembling lips. “Don’t walk away from me.”
Someone stomps up the stairs, and every loud boom matches the pounding of my heart.
“I’m going to put her back to bed.”
“Vittoria,” Daddy hisses right as my bedroom door opens.
I squeak and cover my whole head. Daddy’s face is all twisted up like an angry monster’s.
“You’re scaring her,” Mommy says. “Let me put her to bed, and then we can talk.”
Daddy growls. “You always pick her over me.”
“And what would you have me do, Joseph? Leave her screaming for help?”
“She’s weak.”
“She’s a child.” Mommy sighs and my mattress dips. “Hey, sweet girl,” she coos, turning on the bedside lamp.
I lower one side of the blanket and peek out, but Daddy is still there, wearing that scary face. I’ve never seen him so mad.
He glares at Mommy’s back. “If you think we’re done discussing this ? —”
“Once you’re calm, we can talk.” Mommy smooths my hair. “Did you have a bad dream? ”
My gaze moves between her and Daddy. “Are you fighting again because of me? I’m sorry I didn’t eat my broccoli.”
Mommy’s face crumples. “Oh, baby. No. It’s never about you.”
Daddy scoffs. “I’m going for a walk.”
“I’ll join you when I’m done.”
Daddy slams the door. I startle and Mommy exhales. “He’s tired, sweetie. He’s not mad at you.”
“Why are you fighting? I don’t like it when you fight.”
Mommy’s face is bathed in golden light. Sometimes I think she’s an angel, but tonight, she looks sad. “Being married is hard,” she admits, fixing the blanket on either side of me. “Do you want me to sing to you?”
I clutch my stuffed bunny, the soft fur against my cheek soothing me, and nod. Mommy smiles and pushes my hair out of my face. She lies down next to me and holds me as she sings my favorite lullaby. I stare at her, memorizing the way her eyes shimmer in the light and the way her voice sounds. One day, I’ll be just like her.
My eyes get heavy, and she runs her fingers through my hair. By the time she’s done, I’m so sleepy.
“I love you, Rosie.”
“I love you, Mommy.”
She gets up, turns the light off, and creeps out of the room. The front door closes a few moments later. I wait five seconds before I climb out of bed and rush to the window, opening it just in time to see the monster get her.
“Rose.” Orion grasps my shoulder, pulling me out of my head, but even as I look at him, I see everything I’ve tried so hard to bury.
My chest constricts. A gun raises, aiming straight for the pane of glass protecting my mind from the truth. Anticipation contracts every muscle in my body. A sharp sound splits through my ears, and I flinch in my seat, even though it’s a memory.
My mouth goes dry.
The bullet pierces through the shield, glass shattering and bursting in the air, until all that’s left?—
Shaking my head, I press both my palms to my chest, trying to stop whatever I’ve done. But the truth is right there. Shrouded in the night isn’t a monster or an assassin. It was him.
“He killed her.” I cover my mouth with a trembling hand, blinking back tears. “I remember now. They were fighting and—” The words can’t get past the emotions clogging my throat.
Dad shot Mom. He took her from me. Greif bowls me over. My stomach is hollow, but the bile churns, burning and roiling in my gut. Darkness dots across my vision, and I take a shaky breath, trying to fight back against the emotions, but they’re so strong.
The gun fires and Mom’s body falls to the ground seconds later.
My tiny fists banged against the glass, but the monster—my dad—couldn’t hear me screaming her name.
A shudder rolls over me, and I wrap my arms around myself, shaking my head, trying to dispel the truth. I can’t. It’s real. I remember. I remember everything now.
“I’m so sorry, Rose.” Orion presses his lips together and glances away.
“Why?” The question isn’t meant for Orion, but he answers, anyway.
“Some white-collar criminals can get violent, murdering to protect their secrets.” Orion pauses, giving me time to swipe at my cheeks. “I think it’s a valid assumption that, once your mom found out and tried to close the company, your dad was trying to cover his tracks.”
Get it together Rose, Millers aren’t weak.
Pinching my eyes closed, I try to purge that voice from my mind. I try to erase knowing what happened. I shove the last ten minutes to the furthest reaches of my mind, sniffing and drying my cheeks, numbness tingling through me.
I blink. Bury it.
My breath shudders out of me.
I breathe in. Don’t let your feelings get the better of you .
My limbs are heavy, but I force my spine to straighten.
I exhale. Be strong.
A wall slams into place. It’s fragile but sturdy enough to get me through the next few minutes.
“I’m so?—”
“Is there anything else?” I cut him off, glancing at Orion and biting my cheek until I draw blood, focusing on that pain instead of the grief. My jaw clenches.
Orion pauses. “Are you okay?”
Will I be okay? No. Probably not, but I need him to leave, because I can’t break down in front of him. I pay for his services, and he’s not my friend. It’s not his job to console me. “Just another day in the life of the rich and famous,” I say with a shrug. The emotions I tried to lock away are battering against the flimsy wall I’ve built. I stand and carry my mug to the sink. “Thanks for looking into it. I’ll walk you out.”
Orion frowns but gathers his things. I escort him to the door, focusing on the shuffling of his feet behind me to keep from falling apart. With as much strength as I can muster, I open the door and give him one of my plastic smiles.
Orion’s features soften, despite the rush of frigid December air. The shock of cold helps keep my emotions at bay a little longer. “I really am sorry, Rose. I wish I had found something different.”
Lock it away. Don’t let your feelings get the better of you.
“I’ll be okay,” I lie.
He nods and glances out at the pure white sky that promises snow. “There’s always sunshine after the storm.” And with that piece of wisdom, Orion heads down my steps.
The farther he gets, the harder my lip trembles.
The yawning void of loneliness I felt before is now a never-ending gorge. I’ve lost Mom, the man I thought was my family, Dare, and maybe even Cassia. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m all alone. Every muscle is leaden, threatening to pull me down to the floor, and my knees almost buckle when the door snicks shut.
The room spins, and I pinch my eyes shut to keep the dizziness at bay as reality sinks in.
Dad murdered Mom.