Chapter 5
five
I lean back against the pillows on the bed and can almost feel the stillness of the flat surround me. Julian isn’t home yet.
I swap the phone to my other ear. “So, you’re really okay?”
“I’m fine ,” Cath says for what feels like the twentieth time.
“Did you get the money?”
“I did, and you shouldn’t have done that.”
I’d put a grand in her bank account this morning. It had felt good. “Of course I should. I know your mum’s struggling at the moment.”
“That’s not your problem, though.”
“We’re family, aren’t we?” I say and hold my breath, relaxing as she immediately says yes. “Well then, don’t worry about it.”
“But a grand, Wes. That’s such a lot of money.” She hesitates. “Where did it come from?”
I can hear the suspicion in her voice, but I can’t blame her. “Not the gee gees, so don’t worry.”
She sighs, and it’s loud down the phone. “There are more ways to get in trouble than betting on the horses. Where did you get it?”
“Savings,” I say airily.
“ Savings ? Pull the other one, Wes. Tell me the truth.”
“That is the truth.” I think quickly. “I had it left over from my tuition fees.” I hope she doesn’t think too deeply about that, or she’ll know it’s not true.
“I was going to give it to you and Tyler to thank you for all you’ve done for me.
” I grimace. “But now I’m thinking it’s probably safer with you. ”
“You think ?”
I snort, and there’s a comfortable silence for a second. “You’re okay, though?” I say again. “You haven’t heard from those men again?”
“Nah. The bloke in charge said it’s nothing to do with me now.”
I hesitate. “Have you heard from Tyler? He didn’t text me last night. That’s the first time all week he hasn’t sent a message to say he’s okay.” That had kept me awake in the early hours of the morning with worst-case scenarios running through my head until I felt like I’d scream.
Her voice, when she speaks next, is conflicted. “He came round last night.” I relax a little. “I told him he had to give me some space.”
“What did he say?”
“He’d respect my decision, and he was going to make it right again.”
I massage my forehead where a dull headache has begun to bloom. “God, I hope he doesn’t try to do that through betting.”
“You and me both.”
“He wouldn’t do that, would he? He said he was going to get a payment plan in place and sort everything out.”
I wince at the eagerness in my voice, and the silence stretches a little too long before she says, “Yeah. I’m sure that’s his plan.” There’s a pause. “He told me about the credit cards. I’m so sorry.”
“You really do not need to apologise to me.”
“That’s the thing though, Wes. I think he’s got even more debts he isn’t telling us about.”
I swallow hard, a shiver running up my spine. “What makes you think that?”
“He wouldn’t tell me even when I asked.”
“Shit. You’ve always been his conscience like the little cricket in Pinocchio .”
“Well, look how that worked out. I’d have done better with the fucking puppet.” There’s a noise in the background, and she says, “I’ve got to go. Mum’s home help is here.”
“Okay, babe. Take care.”
“Love you,” she says fiercely. “ Always . You take care too.”
The line goes dead, and I throw the phone down on the bed. I think of my brother having more potential debts and then stuff that to the back of my mind. I can’t help Tyler at the moment, so I need to brush it away. I’m compartmentalising so well I should work in a cupboard box factory.
Getting up, I go into the bathroom and rest my hands on the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I look the same—messy hair, thin face, and the same gap between my front teeth. I push my hair back and eye my reflection.
Should I look different? I took money for a sex act last night. I shake my head. If you’d asked me a month ago how my life was going to pan out, I’d have laughed in your face if you’d mentioned sex work. And yet here we are.
The sound of the flat front door opening is a welcome distraction. I go to call out but then hesitate. What if it’s Julian’s bloke and he finds me here in the flat on my own?
“Wes?” Julian shouts.
“In here,” I call, relaxing. I’m walking out of the bathroom as he wanders into my bedroom. He’s still wearing his suit from last night, but the tie is missing, and his shirt is unbuttoned at the neck. His hair is damp and free of product and flops over his forehead, making him look young.
“Hey,” he says, sliding into the armchair by the window. “How did it go last night?”
I lick my lips as images fly through my head. “It was good.” He stares at me, and I flush. “It was really hot, okay?”
He eyes me as I pull on a pair of shorts. “And I bet that’s currently fucking up your head.”
I hesitate. I’m not sure if I want an answer to my next question but I ask it anyway. “Truthfully, was it wrong?”
“Of course not,” he says simply, and I relax a little. “Sex is like any other interaction we have in life. As long as the people involved come away happy and satisfied on both sides, where’s the harm?”
“I don’t think sex is in quite the same ballpark as talking to the checkout person at the supermarket.”
“Do you regret it?”
I consider that and then slowly shake my head. “No, I don’t, and you’re right. That idea was messing with my head. But then I remember that I gave far more away sexually at a back room in a pub last week for free.”
“Best not to mention that at the club.” He grins at me. “It’s actually quite nice to talk to you about it. Usually, I just come home and have only myself for company.” It sounds lonely, and he looks suddenly vulnerable.
I settle cross-legged on the bed. “Well, I’m here now.”
He removes his jacket, folds it neatly on his lap, and then shoots me an apologetic glance. “Sorry, I didn’t call last night, but the new bloke was rather demanding.”
I stiffen. “Did he hurt you?”
“No, of course not.” I relax, and a funny expression crosses his face. “Wait. Were you worried ?”
“Of course I was. You don’t know him.”
“No, but Fox does.”
“Fox seems like an interesting man, but he can’t know everything, Julian.”
“He does,” he says simply, his confidence unmistakable. “He may give off this image of being louche?—”
“What’s that?”
He waves a hand. “Careless and only wanting pleasure in life. Fox is very powerful. He knows a great deal. He’s got something on everyone who’s anyone. He has a lot of leverage.”
I shake my head. “That’s good, because if the police find out what he’s doing, he’ll go to prison.”
“Pah. Some of the police bigwigs use the club. He’s fine.”
I suppose it isn’t all that surprising when you think about it. Rich people don’t seem to have the same laws applied to them as us, and the police are notoriously screwed up at the top levels.
He leans forward. “And you don’t have to worry about this leaking and affecting your career.”
I jerk in shock. “Fucking hell. That never even occurred to me.” Now he’s mentioned it, panic begins to swirl in my belly. “But what if one of these men is a client when I get a job and?—”
“It’s fine ,” he says firmly, and I relax a little at the conviction in his voice.
“I told you. Fox is very powerful. They know not to cross him, and telling anyone about the club and what goes on there is the surest way of doing it. His revenge wouldn’t be pleasant.
” We stare at each other for a few beats, and then he sits back, crossing his legs and flicking a bit of lint from his trousers. “So, who did you get in the end?”
“Oh, Cormac Reilly.”
His head snaps up. “ What ?”
I hesitate. “Do you not know him? He was at the poker table last night and?—”
“Of course I know him. Everyone knows Cormac.”
Cormac’s face, which has never been far from my mind all morning, fills my head again. This time it’s the memory of when he came. He’d looked stripped bare and almost agonised with the pleasure.
I cough and shift slightly. “What does that mean?”
“Sorry, that was badly phrased. It’s just that he’s a regular at these events.
Well, he is now. I remember him attending his first one last year and there was quite a stir amongst the boys because he’s so good-looking.
He didn’t come again for ages though, and I thought we’d scared him off.
Then he popped up a few months ago and he’s been a regular ever since. ”
“He certainly seemed at home at the club.”
“But he’s never gone for a new boy before.” There’s a degree of surprise in his voice.
“Really?” I pause. “What does that actually mean?” I ask again.
His clever eyes are busy with thought. “He doesn’t like the newbies. He prefers his men to have a lot of experience. He’s not looking for a long-term contract with them either—he fucks them and moves on to the next.” His gaze turns curious. “What was he like?”
I rub my nose, feeling the heat on my cheeks. “I told you. It was good.”
He hums. “Word is he’s an excellent lover.”
“I have no complaints.” I eye him. “So, does he have friends at the club? He didn’t seem like he would. He seemed very standoffish.”
I’d googled him last night when I got home, but other than an article in a financial magazine that had hailed him as an innovative property developer, there wasn’t any other information.
You’d have thought that the journalist would have asked where he lived, what was his favourite food, or even his favoured sleeping position, but no.
It was just a breathless litany of how many buildings he owns.
Julian holds a hand up, looking alarmed. “Oh no. No, no, no .”
I stare at him. “Are you alright? Do you need assistance in some way?”
“You can’t be interested in him.”
I blink. “Can’t I?”
“Absolutely not.” He stands up and starts to pace. “This is a business, Wes. It’s not a matchmaking club where you meet the love of your life.”
“I never said that ,” I start to protest.
“I told you we didn’t do feelings,” he speaks over me. “It’s a business transaction.”
“I just asked about him,” I say mildly. “It’s natural to be curious.”