Eighteen
LIANA
Returning to my room, I push aside the anger that floods through me and resist the urge to slam the door behind me. Who does he think he is? A god? No—he’s just a man with serious anger issues; like fuck, he’s shown his true colours these past few days.
Even still, something within me screams to be in his presence for a few seconds longer than my brain wants me to be. It’s like something is drawing me to him; my head and that ‘something’ constantly butting heads until the ‘something’ prevails.
I can tell he’s distressed, but I don’t understand why, and unless he tells me, I never will. Like he said, he trusts me as much as I trust him, which isn’t much right now. We know very little about each other and yet I yearn to wriggle through his tough exterior and get to know more about him. If I can, maybe—just maybe—I’ll be able to make him the man I know he can be. He might seem harsh, stubborn and angry the majority of the time, but I believe with the right mindset, he’ll be the man I know he is beneath it all. By no means am I trying to change him, just better him. But if he keeps shutting me out, it’ll never happen.
Stripping down to nothing, I wrap a towel around me, grab the bare necessities toiletry-wise and saunter down the hall to his room again. Knocking twice, I wait for him to open the door and try to gather the courage to face him with a sweet facade.
Swinging his door open with a tough grip around the doorknob, he takes one glance at me and steps aside, silently granting me entry.
“I don’t mean to impose.” Yes, I do. “My shower still isn’t working.”
“It’s fine,” he breathes, doing everything he can to avoid meeting my eyes. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be in my office until you’re done.”
“No,” I say, my words sounding too eager. “Unless you have thermal eyesight, the closed bathroom door will be enough privacy. I don’t want to take you out of the comfort of your own room.”
He nods with a shrug, his shoulders tense. “Sure, okay. If you need anything, just holler. I’ll be in bed.”
I close the door behind me as he takes four long strides to his bed. I take the time to admire his muscled and toned back that’s covered in red and black ink.
“I didn’t take you as a tattoo kind of guy,” I say, taking my time to walk to his bathroom.
He spins on his heels to face me, reaching for his shirt at the end of his bed. He slips it over his head, covering himself and the beautiful artwork.
“It’s nothing bad,” I clarify. “It’s a beautiful design. I was surprised, that’s all. Does yours have a meaning?” I turn my arm to show him mine, “Mine is for—”
He swallows hard. “Yes, there’s a meaning. No, I won’t tell you. It’s a personal matter, Liana. Please, just take your fucking shower.” He looks defeated, his eyes drooping, his chest heaving rapidly.
I approach him with small steps. “Don’t block me out, Dario. Please don’t push me away. I’m going to be your wife and we need some form of trust for whatever this fucking thing is between us. I won’t be there to warm your bed if you refuse to talk to me. That’s not what this is.”
“I want to be alone, Liana. I don’t need your help. You can’t fix me. You can’t fix what’s broken.”
“You’re not broken,” I say in a whisper, my hand finding his arm. “You’re adjusting to many new additions in your life. I wasn’t planned and neither was your mother’s pregnancy. It’s okay to take the time you need to balance everything out.”
His eyes fall to my fingers, and he pulls away. “I’m not adjusting,” he spits, his chest heaving, his breathing becoming scattered and jagged. “I’m pissed off. I’m angry. I’m fucking fed up with all this bullshit. And I don’t need you to try and fix anything.”
“Then talk to me, would you?” My voice comes off as irritated. “You say you’re feeling lost in a sense, but you refuse to let those around you help. Instead, you hide in your room or your office, feeling sorry for yourself.”
“You don’t know the first thing about me, Liana. If you did, you’d understand exactly what I’m feeling and what’s going through my mind, and give me the space I fucking need.”
“Then fucking tell me,” I bite back.
Almost as if debating it, he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Instead, he turns around. “Take your shower, Liana.”
Growing agitated, I round his body, placing myself directly in front of him. “Why won’t you let me in?” I ask exasperated, and give his chest an angry push. “I’m here to stay, Dario. I won’t let you ice me out because you feel like it. You’re a grown-ass man; fucking act like it.”
He says nothing; his eyes staring into mine with no emotion.
I sigh, turning from my spot beside his bed and march to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
He makes it impossible to talk to him. It’s as if he likes being alone, ignoring everyone’s concerns until he feels like communicating. What about me, huh? What about my feelings?
As I lean in to turn the shower on, my towel slips, immediately getting drowned by the fast beads of water.
“Just my fucking luck,” I sigh, walking over to the long stretched-out sink and dropping it onto the surface.
I startle as the door pushes open and Dario stands in the doorway, breathing heavy.
“Get out!” The words come out like a screech, my hands instinctively covering myself.
“I want to take a shower,” he says coldly, undressing himself.
“Then let me know when you’re finished and I’ll come back.” I grab the soaking towel from the sink’s surface and wrap the cold material around me, a shiver racing through me.
“Don’t be a child, Liana. We’re both adults here. Get in the damn shower.”
I shake my head erratically. “I’m giving you the personal space you’re so desperate for.”
“But you crave something else, don’t you, little one?” His words contradict his annoyance, coming off dark and inviting. I gulp down the lump growing in my throat. “I know what you’re doing, walking around in nothing but a towel—you’re trying to entice me. Well, I guess your toying and teasing have finally worked, so get in the shower, Liana.”
I shake my head. “Y-you’re crazy. I’m not doing anything.”
Saying nothing, he picks me up as though I weigh nothing and places me in the shower, the water flowing onto my right side, drenching the towel further. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“What’re you—”
“I’m joining you.”
“I can see that,” I retort. “But why?”
“Call it… saving water.”
I watch every single move he makes, unable to avert my eyes as he releases his already hard dick from his underwear.
“Are you going to shower in that?” he asks, stepping in beside me.
“I–I’ve never—” I lick my lips as I try to steal all the oxygen around us. “I don’t—”
“It’s okay, little one; it’s just a shower. ”
I nod, whispering, “O-okay.”
With shaky hands, I release the towel, hand it to him, and he throws it back onto the bathroom counter.
“If you’re more comfortable, you can face the other way. I’m not going to force you to watch me.”
As much as I want to watch his every move as he showers, my body turns away from him, concealing everything except my backside.
My head dips, allowing the water to slide down my hair, my hands brushing down it. A clicking sound makes me jump, and my head whips around.
“It’s shampoo, relax.” I watch as he closes the bottle with his forearm and places it back on the rack before rubbing it between his hands. “Turn around.”
Slowly doing as he asks, my body stiffens as he begins lathering it into my hair. His hands move in circular motions, a feeling of unexpected excitement coursing through me.
“I’m sorry, Liana,” he says. “There’s a lot going on right now, and it’s impossible to focus on one thing at a time.”
“It’s okay,” I answer, matching his tone. “You owe me nothing. It–it pissed me off that you’ve iced me out from day one. I didn’t mean—”
“No, don’t take it back,” he interrupts. “You’re able to speak your mind with me. I might not like what you have to say sometimes, but don’t think you have to hold your tongue to spare my feelings.”
“I didn’t mean to pry. I want you to know that if you ever need to talk, you can come to me.”
He spins me around and tilts my head back, washing out the shampoo. “I don’t like change or surprises, and there seems to be a lot of it recently. I don’t mean to ‘ice’ you out, as you called it, but that’s how I cope with shit sometimes.”
My eyes move to his lip as his tongue sticks out to wet them. “I shouldn’t have intruded on personal things like your tattoo. Your response alone was enough for me to know I should’ve stopped there, and I didn’t.”
“You’re allowed to ask questions,” he says with a breathy laugh, opening the shampoo bottle again to add another lather to my hair. I reluctantly turn around, allowing him to repeat his actions. “It’s a personal piece, the only tattoo I have.”
I stay silent, not knowing how to respond.
“It’s for my sisters.” I freeze again, but I don’t pry. “The anniversary of their death is coming up and finding out about my mother’s unexpected and miraculous pregnancy is a reminder of the grief we experienced. It’s like they’re dying all over again.”
His hands stop on my head and I spin around to face him. His eyes glaze over—a sight I haven’t been privy to before—and he stares at the wall ahead. My heart stings for him.
Lifting my hand, I wipe away the tears as they slip free and his eyes find mine, the sorrow spreading across his entire face.
Without a second thought, I lift myself on my tiptoes and he leans down, his lips finding mine. It’s an intimate yet soft kiss that spreads the heat throughout every inch of my body.
He pulls away after a second or two, a quick apology leaving his lips. “Turn.”
I do as he asks, allowing him the space he needs, the bubbles running down my face.
The pressure of our kiss remains on my lips. “I should be the one apologising, Dario. You’re clearly not in the right mindset, and I—”
Within an instant, his hand finds my hips and he spins me around. “Never apologise for something I initiated.” Again, his lips find mine, this time a hunger releases from them and floods into me, like he’s directly feeding me his tension and problems in the form of desire.
I inch closer, my body becoming flush with his, his firm cock pressing against my stomach. The feeling alone sends my body into a spiral, begging for more.
A soft moan slips free from my lips, and he reacts, trailing his hands down my back to my ass before he lifts me, my legs instinctively wrapping around him.
We’ve officially stepped into new territory—not only between us, but for me. How would he react if I pulled away and confirmed the fact that I’ve never been with a man before besides a simple, millisecond-long kiss? I can only imagine it’d be a total mood-killer, and I never want this moment to end.
Readjusting me in his arms, he lifts me, his cock rubbing between our bodies. The sensation makes a low groan escape him, and he slips his tongue into my mouth, muffling my sounds of longing. He’s a passionate and possessive kisser, turning my body into an inferno.
After a few seconds longer, he breaks free, placing me back down on the slippery surface of the shower’s floor. I bite back the urge to whine as the heat of his body against mine leaves me.
He glares down at me, a wicked smile plastered across his lips. He leans forward to turn the shower off and steps out, holding his hand out for me to take.
Without hesitation, I place my hand in his and he guides us back into his room. As we reach the bottom of his bed, he walks over to his closet and pulls two towels from the shelf inside. He places the first one around his waist and I go to take the second from where he laid it on the bed, but he stops me, snatching it from beneath my hand.
“Turn around,” he says in a deep, commanding voice.
I spin for him, the soft towel finding my skin as he begins to dry me. It’s a gentle action that contradicts everything I ever thought of him up until now.
He takes his time, drying every inch of my skin, taking extra time between my thighs, his fingers wandering from the towel as they trail upwards.
Pausing for a moment, he walks around me, repeating his actions starting with my chest. This time, his eyes meet mine as he drags the towel across my chest, down my arms and my stomach. Returning to my chest, he pauses as if awaiting permission, and I nod.
His fingers trace the round flesh of my breast before finding my nipple. I gasp as he rolls the nub between two digits, my heart racing and my breathing scattering. An excited feeling rocks through me, a soft moan escaping my slightly parted lips. The inferno is spreading, settling between my thighs and sending goosebumps through me; altogether a foreign experience. The sound makes another grin appear on his lips as he walks into me, leaving me no choice but to back up towards the bed. As my legs meet the end, he eases me backwards, his hand cradling the nook of my neck as he lowers me down.
Looping his hand beneath my thighs, he gently pulls me towards the very edge. My breathing turns heavy, rethinking the part I played getting us to this point.
“I’ve never…” My words trail off as he presses soft kisses against my inner thighs.
“Never what, little one?” he questions through heavy breaths. I can’t seem to find the words; his actions are fogging up my thoughts. “Remember what I told you, Lia ? Use your words. Silent mouths don’t get fed; they don’t get the answers they so desperately crave, they don’t get the pleasure their body yearns for.”
“All of this is so new to me,” I whisper, the words coming out almost inaudible.
He raises his eyes as I glance down at him and he lifts himself up, leaning over me. “We can stop,” he breathes, planting another deep kiss on my lips. I shake my head, nipping at his plump bottom lip, as he pulls away.
Releasing it, I place my hands against his chest, and put space between us. “No, I liked it, I-I thought I should mention it—I don’t know.”
“Don’t be nervous, Lia; I’ll be gentle.”
Placing gentle kisses on my neck, he trails down my chest, stomach and hip, his head finding its way back between my thighs. A rush of adrenaline floods through me, my hand finding his head, my fingers raking through his hair. They tug at his raven locks and he releases another groan.
“I don’t bite,” he says between kisses. “Go feral, little one.”
His tongue flicks out, licking my inner thigh and stopping just before he reaches my pussy. The sensation alone is enough to make me do exactly as he says.
Grabbing his hair between my fingers, I tug and he groans, swiping his tongue along my slit which makes my grip tighten.
“Good girl,” he breathes, his tongue flicking out to taste me again. This time, it lingers there, slowly sliding between my pussy.
It’s a feeling like no other, a feeling of desire pulsating through me, sending a wave of pleasure through me.
As his teeth graze my clit, my hips buck off the bed and I pull his head away. “You said you don’t bite,” I say breathlessly.
“I lied. Biting is the best part. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d be gentle, though. I promise.”
I hum my response, letting his tongue find its way back to its previous spot, this time becoming more ferocious in its movements. It’s as if he’s trying to devour me whole, afraid of losing the taste of me.
With his arms beneath my legs, his hands grip my thighs and yank me closer to him. His tongue delves deeper as his thumb finds its way to my clit, rubbing in a circular motion. That move alone is enough to send me into a downward spiral, and I begin to unravel at his touch.
I inch closer to my climax, squirming beneath him.
“Baby, you have to stay still for me, okay? I don’t want to waste a single drop of you.”
“I–I can’t,” I stammer, fumbling over my words.
“Do I need to tie you down so I can eat?” he questions, hovering over me again. The look in his eyes alone is enough for me to know he’s being serious.
The thought of being tied up and helpless sends a thrill through me, but my nerves override that feeling.
I shake my head and swallow.
“Then be a good girl and lie still for me.” I nod in response.
Testing the waters, he slips a single digit into my pussy, my breaths become jagged. “If it hurts, I’ll stop, but you have to use your words, little one. I’m not a mind reader.”
I lift myself onto my elbows and nod, watching as he slowly moves his finger deeper, stopping half way before retracting it and repeating the cycle.
He fucks me with one finger and circles my clit with his thumb. As he returns his tongue to its previous position, waves of pleasure overtake me and I collapse back onto the bed. The feeling is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. When he removes his finger, I’m left feeling empty, and my body begs for more. But once it’s back, an all-consuming euphoria overwhelms me.
My body tenses, preparing for release and he senses it too as he ravages me further. His tongue flicks through my slickness, his moans spreading through to my stomach like untamed butterflies.
“Are you ready to come for me, Lia?” I pant, moaning my response. “Words, little one, use them. Now.”
“Yes, Dario. I’m ready.”
“I want you to hold it. I need you to ride it out a little longer for me.”
“I–I can’t. I need to—”
“I said hold it, Liana. Don’t make me repeat myself,” he says, his voice deep and demanding.
I groan out as I writhe beneath him, forcing back my release. It’s an uncomfortable, tingling sensation, but it feels so good. I’m completely falling apart at his touch and he’s loving every. Single. Fucking. Second of it.
Removing himself from me, he stands. I whine as I prop myself onto my elbows again, watching as the towel falls and he begins stroking himself.
“Do you trust me?” he asks softly, his eyes never leaving mine.
“As much as you trust me,” I counter with a whisper.
He smiles. “It doesn’t hurt as much as you think it will,” he reassures me. “I’ll go slow.”
I nod, swirling my tongue around, trying to get some saliva back into my dry mouth.
“Move further up for me.” I do as he asks, eagerly pushing myself towards the head of the bed. “I need you to tell me if it hurts,” he adds, climbing on top of me.
Spreading my legs, he wraps them around his waist and readies his cock near my pussy. He teases me, swiping it in my slickness and pushing carefully into my entrance. A painful bliss rushes through me, my head turning foggy. As my hips move, it pushes him deeper. Another new sensation spreads through me—painful pleasure.
“Fuck,” I gasp.
“Careful, baby, don’t move too much. I don’t want to hurt you.” His words are gentle and careful, his intentions clearer than they’ve ever been. It’s almost as if I can actually see his thought process as the cogs turn in his head.
He thrusts his hips, only pushing a quarter of his length into me, afraid to push the boundaries of our encounter. The pressure it brings is only a little uncomfortable, but as he continues his movements, it becomes easier to bear.
A hard knock sounds at the door, startling both of us, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. “Stay still, Liana, you look beautiful where you are. I’ll be right back.”
He picks up the towel from the floor and wraps it around his waist again as I try to catch my breath. With him gone, I’m cold and empty. It’s the same with him inside me, I felt full and now that he’s gone, it all went away in an instant.
Opening the door, he peeks his head around the corner, his deep voice reverberating in my head. “What do you want, Red?”
“We’ve got a trace, Rio,” Red says as if he’s out of breath.
I watch as Dario’s body turns rigid and his jaw tenses. “Give me two minutes and I’ll meet you in my office.”
“Are you okay?” Red asks, the sound of his boots inching closer before Dario stops it.
“Yeah, just not decent,” he replies matter-of-factly, gesturing to his towel.
“You’re not hurt?”
Dario shakes his head. “I think I know how to shower and not injure myself.”
“The blood on your towel…”
Dario looks down, clearing his throat. “I was in the soldiers’ house, hence the early shower. I’m fine, but I can’t say the same for the guy in C5. I’ll see you in my office, Red.”
Dario closes the door, throwing his towel off and walking back to me. “Let’s get you back in the shower, little one.”
I shake my head. “You’re leaving?” Tears well up in my eyes and I blink them away.
“We’ll run you a bath and I’ll be back in five minutes, okay?” he says softly. “Red needs to speak to me, but I’ll be right back.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, pulling myself up off the bed, ignoring his helping hand and walking into the bathroom.
Turning around in the doorway, I stop, my hands bracing against the doorframe and the door itself. “I can run myself a bath,” I state, trying to keep a brave face when the tears threaten to escape me.
“Liana, I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m not leaving you here.”
“Then you should get dressed and head down, shouldn’t you?” As his mouth opens to respond, I close the door in his face, locking it behind me. He audibly huffs and leaves his room a minute later, and I let my emotions take control as I glance down at my thighs and see trails of red trickling down them.
I feel disgusting, used and overall just embarrassed; all three feelings mixed together make nausea swarm over me.