Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
Blah, blah, blah
Becky
My dearest Remi,
Carrson takes me to the clearing every day.
I’ve been good. Haven’t wandered off on my own.
Partly because I’m trying to stay on his good side. Partly because he’s right.
Jackson’s always lurking. I think he’s onto me. Yesterday he was outside my chemistry class. Said he found out I only applied to one college.
Here.
He asked why.
I gave him my usual answer. Good school, technology lab, blah, blah, blah.
He smiled like he knew I was lying.
Carrson showed up then. Told him to leave.
Jackson laughed. Said he’d always liked breaking Carrson’s toys.
He looked right at me when he said it. Acted like I belonged to him.
I wanted to punch him in the throat.
Carrson talks to me more now. Listens.
He still won’t let me touch him.
That’s the line he won’t cross.
I don’t know if that makes me want him more or makes me want to know what it’s like to have that kind of power.
Because he decides everything.
What he gives me.
What he doesn’t.
I think about his hands all the time.
Long fingers. Ropy veins beneath his skin. Pale scars that trail from his hands to his wrists.
I want to trace them. Just to see if he’d let me.
Sometimes I dream about them,
On my waist,
At my throat,
Lower—
Okay.
I’m not writing about this anymore.
Love you always,
Becky
PS. I broke into Louellen’s computer. I only felt a little bad.
Same password as Carrson. Same setup. Her emails were nicer, though.
There was one that stood out. A notification sent to a bunch of people.
A brother named Anson Markham had been “removed from the path of The Order.”
I don’t know what that means. But I don’t think you come back from it.