2. Summer
My boxes were packed,even though I still had a few months left of school.
Watching fog roll in over the lake, blanketing the grounds in a hazy dreamscape, I shivered and clutched my blanket tighter.
It had been a long year.
A long seven years, honestly, and I was ready to return to the south, where my home, and my heart, lied.
This place, Crestmont Prep, with its cold, stone buildings, never felt like home to me. The massive walls towered like an imposing fortress, encircled by meticulously manicured lawns. Within, the atmosphere was rigid, formal, and the furnishings uncomfortably stiff.
“Summer, it’s almost time for lights out.”
Not turning from my distorted reflection in the window, I nodded curtly at Evelynn, the DM in charge of my dorms. It was annoying when she bossed me around, even though she was two years younger—Callie’s age.
We were supposed to have lights out at eleven, but tonight, I wasn”t in the mood for following rules.
“I saw what they posted. Jessica and her friends,” she said after a long silence.
I didn’t respond, because I didn’t want to talk about it. It was nothing new.
She walked into the room, taking in the boxes stacked along the back wall. The now bare walls. “Why are you all packed up?
“I’m not,” I said, knowing I sounded cold and bitter. “I just like boxes.”
She frowned. “Jessica said you fucked the whole rugby team.” There was a sneer to her tone.
Gripping the pen in my hand tight, I forced a smile and finally turned towards her. “It’s kinda cute that they think I care what they say,” I lied. “They’re just desperate sheep looking for attention. Why do you give it to them?”
“I don’t,” she tried to deny. “But if it’s true, you should be reported.”
“Do you really think I screwed the whole team?” I asked.
There was another long silence, and, finally, she turned to leave, “Lights out in two minutes. If I see it on, I’m writing you up.”
“Byeeee,” was my only response. My fake smile disappeared with her, and the bitter taste of my lie lingered. I hated Jessica and her entourage.
Swiveling back to the window, I stared at my distorted reflection--blonde-white hair, sharp cheekbones and nose. Bleak blue eyes that faded into the darkness beyond.
I hated waiting.
Waiting for this year to end.
Waiting for Callie to come back.
Waiting for my life to start over.
I was sitting on my desk—the best place to get a view of the campus from my room. A massive building loomed directly across me, its coarse stone blocks were hewn unevenly, their craggy faces pitted and scarred by tools.
That’s where the guys slept.
From here I could also see John Anderson’s room, and if I squinted my eyes through the foggy darkness, I imagined I could see Callie through the window.
She wasn’t supposed to be in the guys’ dorms, but when did Callie ever care about the rules?
I sighed, wishing I felt that kind of freedom. Instead I was suffocated by my need to be “good.” I was too imperfect, otherwise. Being flawless didn’t come naturally to a girl like me.
I watched John”s room carefully, ignoring my vibrating phone—like I had all day.
If Callie didn’t leave soon, I was going to call John’s roommate and make him kick her out. Blackmail him, if necessary—I knew all about his hidden pot stash.
My phone vibrated again, the third time in the past fifteen minutes. Sighing, I took it out, scrolling up to re-read the ones from earlier.
You know I think you”re special, why don”t you show me something special too?
Just a few. I swear I’ll keep it a secret.
Then, when I hadn’t answered, you don’t even have to show your face. It’ll just be a little fun.
I scrolled to his new ones.
You were the one who said you wanted to explore your sexuality.
I can help you, show you what to do.
Then, just now, you okay? You don’t have to if you don’t want.
Actually, I wasn’t okay.
I was nervous showing him nudes. I’d never done anything like that before.
The truth was, I was afraid of meeting Garrett face-to-face. Because—what if he didn’t like me? What if seeing me in person was totally different than how he’d built me up in his mind?
He’d texted me out of the blue. Said that he knew dad and that dad had talked about me a lot.
Said he saw my picture at our house. That I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He’d had to look me up.
We’d been texting ever since.
But what if…what if he was actually using me to get to my dad? My dad had a lot of things—power, prestige, money. A lot of people wanted to be close to that kind of thing.
When it came down to it, I couldn’t get over the fact that this guy actually liked me.
It was flattering, to be honest, that a twenty-five-year-old man would be so interested in someone as young as me. He was a lot more mature than the guys at my school—who cared about dumb things like who or what Jessica gossiped about.
And Garrett made me feel seen in ways I never had before. He seemed to be able to read my mind, sometimes.
A movement from John’s room interrupted my thoughts: the light switched off.
Clutching my blanket close, I stared at my phone screen, waiting to see if Callie would text me.
A minute passed, then another and another.
I kept waiting.
Fifteen minutes on the hard desk slowly ticked past.
If she was coming back, she would’ve been here by now. Or, at least, I would’ve seen her sneak out the side door.
I slid my fingers over the stitching to my blanket, feeling the bumps of the silk thread, trying to make a decision.
I always followed the rules. Never got in trouble.
Tried to be the perfect darling that everyone expected.
But…what… what would it be like to feel free—like Callie?