36. Rook
Her pain had hitme in the chest like a punch. And her tears...they’d made me feel so…
Powerless.
Something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
Fucking Saul. Fucking, fucking Saul.
To think, all this time, she”d thought that the death of her mother was her fault.
As if an innocent creature such as her could do something so vile.
And she”d carried that burden for so long, the memory trapped in her mind, leaving her with so much guilt.
She’d only been a child,for fucks sake. That alone would be grounds for forgiveness.
But the fact that Saul had been there that night, something I hadn”t known—that he’d caused the accident. Watched as Melanie burned alive, screaming as her sweet, sweet daughter had fought to save her mom…
He’d touched her. Carried her from the car. Held her back.
Had put his damn, fucking hands on her.
I was going to kill him,starting with the hands attached to his arms…
I’d bathed her gently. Reveling in the bruising between her thighs, a roaring pride at my marks on her perfect skin.
It was sick, I knew it.
And now, we were in bed, skin against skin, my arms curled around her protectively, cocooning her in warmth.
Her eyes were closed, her face pressed to me. Almost still, except for the minute motion of her head, where she softly rubbed her lips across my bare chest.
How long had it been since I”d felt so at peace? So cared for… so … loved?
A reminder of the last time I’d felt the sensation—before Douglass’ dying words had broken everything inside me, leaving me with an inability to trust and a dead heart.
My old fears suddenly rose to the surface, ones long buried deep within my consciousness. The ones I”d learned to swallow down so deep inside me, I was certain they would never resurface.
My fingers curled in her hair, smoothing it over, then ran over the skin of her shoulder. It was silky soft. Unblemished. I bit down on it, wanting to leave my mark. The sudden desire to destroy her innocence with pain—my pain.
“Rook,” she gasped, lips parting. But she didn’t open her eyes. Instead, pressed a soft kiss against my chest. Still curled up next to me.
The pain inside blossomed into guilt.
I was driven by the need to destroy. And she took it all, transforming it into something soft and sweet.
Fuck.
I stared at her, her face lit up in the moonlight, my eyes tracing over her features. She had changed over the years, but somehow managed to maintain an innocence that was so beguiling. Bewitching.
How was it possible? After everything she’d been through.
Things like purity and honor were destroyed in this world. Peel back the mask of civility, the false smiles, the tall and grandiose buildings hiding dark secrets, and the line between human and animal blurred. Until all that remained was the primal pulse of instinct and unbridled brutality.
It was the way I justified my actions—the self-deception that allowed me to crush everything in my path.
I’d been swallowed up by the darkness and greed of the world and spit out a different man.
And no-one in my life was any different.
Until… until now.
I’d scratched at the surface of Summer Duvall and, instead of finding the raw selfishness I’d expected—love. Compassion. She fought for her sister—gave up everything for her. Showered me with kindness and tenderness when I didn’t deserve it.
The lesson that, you could lose so much, betrayed in the worst way, and still have compassion. Love. Honor.
Maybe I was drawn to Summer because I was chasing after my own innocence lost.
I traced my fingers up her arm, her shoulder, across her collarbone. Then lowered. She adjusted her arm to let me trace over her beautiful breast, the nipple pebbling with my touch.
Her warmth seeped into my fingertips, feeling it flow up my arm and settle deep within my chest.
I stroked her neck and she tilted her head towards me, eyes still closed. Showing her neck to the wolf in a sign of trust.
I fought the urge to clamp down on it with my teeth. To drag her into my hole of darkness so she could never escape.
But I resisted, the need to protect overcoming my need to destroy.
Summer was more than just the most stunning woman I”d ever encountered; she was a ray of light to my darkness. A vulnerable, kind-hearted soul who brought humanity to the ravenous animal within me.
I didn’t deserve it.
But I would take it. Snatch it from her like the greedy dick that I was.
I wanted to bathe in it. Spread it over every inch of my body.
Remember what it felt like, how to be happy. To laugh.
And I wanted to be hers, to be the light in her eyes, the safety and security that she needed. The person she ran to whenever she wanted to cry. The person with whom she shared her secret thoughts.
And, like a lightning strike, a startling realization washed over me…
I loved this woman.
And this…
Fuck. This wasn’t a new thing.
I’d loved Summer Duvall from the moment I laid eyes on her. Not when I saw her at her father”s death bed, hidden in the shadows like a voyeur, but the day her dear mother brought her home from the hospital.
A small, delicate thing that smiled and cooed up at me like I was someone who would protect and love her.
There was a strange feeling inside, a soft, billowing warmth, that spread through the cavity of my chest and climbed up my neck. It made my fingers cinch into her protectively, to grasp her and pull her tight against me.
A throbbing.
Strong.
Dark.
Deep.
In my chest.
Something pounding louder, stronger, harsher, thrashing…
The beating of my fucking heart.
Once lost to the world, now beating again. Not beating but hammering.
Summer was the spark of electricity that woke me, shoving me into the light where I longed to bask in eternally.
I fucking loved Summer Duvall.
Heart and soul, and there was nothing on this earth that would ever tear me from her.
I suddenly understood Douglass wholly and completely. You did anything for the people you loved. Including keeping them in the light of the day so they didn”t experience the horrors of the night.
If I truly loved Summer, I wouldn”t drag her into my darkness.
For so many years, I”d lived in the past. Revenge on the people who’d betrayed me. And I thought that once I”d killed Saul, the last on my revenge list, it would be over.
That I would feel this sudden lightness to my life. That I would kill him and walk away a better man.
Free to live my life exactly as I wished.
But the truth was, I was no longer that scrappy kid only wanting love.
I had changed—and the darkness clung to me. The demon gnawing at my soul, just like Mama Bondo said.
In my path to revenge, I”d lost who I was. And there was no coming back from that.
Gone was the innocent naive boy, replaced by something darker and more dangerous.
But I could do one good thing in this life—save Summer from the clutches of the evil of this earth.
I could give her what Saul wanted—my real identity.
Ever since I’d discovered the torn up pieces of the picture of Callie, the threat and invitation to the masquerade ball, with its impending deadline, I’d sent him little pieces of information—enough to keep him satisfied. For a little bit, at least.
But, if he knew who I really was—the man they”d killed to inherit a spot of land—currently earning them over a million a month—they wouldn”t hesitate to end my life.
They’d know that I”d come for my revenge, and would kill me for it.
And in that moment, I knew one thing; I would give Summer the only thing I had left to give of myself—my truth. It was her only way out of this life.
And I would give it to her—despite the consequences to my life.
That was true love.
”Summer?”
“Mmm?” she murmured.
“Listen up baby, I need to tell you something important.”
“Yes?” Her face was still pressed to my chest.
“Open your eyes. I need you to listen very carefully.”
She blinked them open sleepily and I waited until her half awake gaze was focused on me.
“Undergrove,” I said, running my hand across her cheek, then kissed it softly. “When they come for you. Tell them, Rook Undergrove. That’s what Saul wants.”
“Mmm,” she said, eyes blinking, closing…
“Repeat it back to me, Summer.”
“Rook Undergrove.”
I kissed her forehead, “Good girl.” And she snuggled into me, eyes drifting closed again.
And suddenly, the dread inside me lifted.
I’d made the right choice—even though I was a walking dead man with a beating heart.