49. Rook
After Summer was taken—spendingthree days without her—, and realizing that she hadn’t told them my last name, that she hadn’t…
That she would rather die, or live her life in servitude, than to betray me, I’d been shocked. Speechless. Felt like a gaping hole had opened up in my soul. Replaced with something strange.
Was this new thing, trust? Love?
Nothing in my world was real anymore.
For the first time in my life, I”d realized that I could be fucking happy.
Falling asleep with her in my arms had been the best moment in my life, and I hadn’t needed anything else.
I loved this woman, and never wanted to leave her side.
And, even though I’d told her she needed to think about it, I hadn’t really meant it.
It made me a selfish bastard, but I hadn’t actually planned on letting her go.
I could allow her light to swallow my darkness, as she’d said.
For the first time in my life, I”d believed in more than revenge and my past.
And then, panic—when I woke to her missing, the bed cold and empty.
Desperate. When she wouldn”t answer my phone calls or my texts.
Anger that I hadn”t put a tracker on her phone.
Then, manic. When I”d gotten a single text from her. With no explanation, no answer to my demanding texts or calls.
Just a goddamn location.
As I’d frantically driven here, I didn’t know if she was alive or dead.
Pulling up in the darkness, I could only see a small path of white stone.
I’d crashed through it, barely able to see.
Then, in the flickering of candlelight—the sight of Summer. Running towards me.
I was equal parts relieved and angry. As soon as I”d opened my mouth to tell her just how angry I was, she”d lit up like a Christmas tree.
As she jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me, I held in the tortured groan from the pain shooting through me. Internally, I swore that I hadn’t taken another pain pill. But as she held me with all her might, shaking like a trembling leaf, I could only hold her tight and breathe her in.
All the panic and anger drained, a rushing warmth taking its place. It filled me until it was flowing into my face and ears, so strong and overwhelming that I could only fall to my knees, repentant for ever being mad at the woman who”d taken over my heart.
”You”re alive,” I pressed my lips to her ear, kissing it, my eyes squeezed shut, my arms wrapped like steel bands.
I was never letting her go.
Never.
”I”m okay,” she said, her face pressed into the crook of my neck. ”And you”re here.”
”Always,” I growled. ”I will always be here.”
She pulled back to stare into my eyes, filled with confusion. And maybe a little bit of wariness.
I let her go to cup her jaw, my gaze meeting hers. ”Always. You understand, Summer?”
”But I—,” she looked towards the small group watching us, gesturing towards the man tied to the ground, ”I wanted to give you a parting gift--“
“Always,” I growled, interrupting her. “I will always be here.”
She hesitated, then gave me a determined look. “No.”
That one word stilled me. Once again.
“I can’t Rook. I can’t live in a world where I’m always wondering when you’re going to walk away. I need to be with someone who loves me so much, they would never ask me to leave them. I’m not sure if you’re capable of truly opening your heart to me. Of truly trusting me.”
“I can,” I argued.
She shook her head, “I don’t think so. You’ve told me time and time again, you will leave me. And I…” her words broke off, but then they were strong again. Defiant. Taking a step away from me. “I need more than that. I need someone who will accept me for who I am, someone who will love me, no matter what. I have to let you go.”
“Don’t,” I said, stepping forward, chasing her. “I’ve already opened my heart to you. Trusted you more than anyone else in my life. I lied, Summer. I wanted to be brave and strong and let you go—if that’s what you wanted. Because I thought it was better for you. But I”m not strong or brave at all. I”m weak and selfish. I want you. Always. I can’t live without you. And if that makes me a terrible person, if your father would be disappointed in me, well… then, I will have to live with it. I couldn”t be the man he would want me to be.”
“You’ll always be chasing his approval,” she shook her head. “I can’t live up to a dead man.”
”Fuck him.” I said.
“What?” she burst out in disbelief.
“Fuck him and his unrealistic demands. I hated how he always had to seem invincible. It made me feel inadequate, like I could never slip up or show a moment of weakness. But now I know that perfection is just an illusion. It doesn’t actually exist, except in the prisons of our minds. And I refuse to be incarcerated by these false expectations any longer. They are the impossible demands of a ghost.
“I believe that too,” she said, placing her hand over my chest, where my heart was pounding, “Live for yourself and do what brings you happiness—that is true perfection.”
”Yes,” I ran a thumb over her lip, a smile breaking out over my face because I wanted that—a world full of mistakes and heartache, but living it to the fullest.
Not ignoring the pain and anger, not avoiding love or hope, but embracing both the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.
Something broke inside me, slicing off the exceptions I’d put on myself and suddenly, I felt… free.
We weren”t meant to live as ice, and Summer had thawed the winter within me.
“I want to live all that with you, Summer, if you”ll have me.”
”Yes!” she threw her arms around me again ”Yes. I want to be with you.”
“I always belonged to you,” I said into the crook of her neck, the first time in my life feeling small and vulnerable, because, with Summer, I was alive again. I hadn”t been this since I was a naive little kid, and it felt strange and scary but I wanted it all, if I could be with her.
I held her for a moment before remembering where we were.
Turning, I opened my eyes, shooting Lux a glare because the woman had lied to me and said that she didn’t know where Summer was.
“De shadows are dancing in harmony,” Mama Bondo declared, and I turned towards a stone altar, where she stood. Her piercing gaze was fixed on the space around us. Then, her eyes met mine, piercing through me, as if she could see my very soul, “But de tapestry is not yet woven. De pieces don’t mend together just yet.”
I didn’t respond. Didn’t feel the need to. This was between me and Summer only.
Finally, I took in who was on the ground before Mama Bondo”s altar.
I pushed Summer behind me protectively.
”Mama Bondo, how could you be so careless?” I growled, torn between killing Saul quickly and getting Summer out. ”Lux, you of all people should know better.”
”We took advantage of the opportunity,” a woman I barely recognized spoke up—the girl who worked in the shop with Mama Bondo. “Summer called Mama Bondo, and told us she”d set up a meeting between the two. When we found out that he”d actually agreed to meet her alone, we had to act.”
”You know he”s never really alone,” I growled, reaching for the gun in my holster, deciding to kill him quickly and get out of here.
The panic was back when I realized I”d rushed off without it, my hand meeting empty air. ”Fuck.”
“No,” Mama Bondo firmly stated. “We cannot kill him in cold blood. De spirits, dey won’t like dis.”
“We absolutely can,” I disagreed, taking in the three men who were also with us. The large one with a bushy mustache had on a brown sheriff uniform, and was strapped with weapons. I held out my hand. “Give me your gun.”
“A gun? How disappointing,” Saul sneered. “I expected a bit more style from a killer like you, Rook. You were much more creative with the lawyer. They say it took a few hours to find all the body parts.”
“Shut up, you sick fuck.” I swung my foot and hit him in the ribs. He doubled over, groaning and clutching his side. “And for the record, I have no desire to impress you.”
“Asshole,” he hissed, his eyes blazing as he looked up at me.
“Rook, stop.” Mama Bondo said adamantly. “If we do dat, we are no better than dey are. Lux and Harmony, I need you here to call de Bondye. Summer and Rook, you will give him de potion.”
When I continued to hold my hand towards the Sheriff, he just shrugged, blowing a pink bubble with his gum until it popped. “She’s the boss.”
”It’ll be fine.” Lux picked up the cup, handing it to Summer, ”the spirits will protect us.”
If Summer wasn”t here, I wouldn’t care how they killed him. But, now that I’d realized my feelings for Summer, the world was more frightening. I wanted it done quickly—afraid that I wouldn”t be able to protect her.
Like I hadn”t stopped my mother or Nana from dying. Or from protecting Summer from the Magnolia’s grasp.
But, at Summer’s encouraging look, I conceded. “Fine,” I ground out, “but hurry. I’m sure his men will be here any moment.” Inhaling a deep breath, I squatted to stare in his eyes.
”You know he”s not going to just drink that,” I said, when she squat next to me with the cup in her hands. He was already tight lipped, staring at me indignantly.
”We”ll have to make him,” Summer responded, as if it were the most simple thing in the world. ”If not, we can always kill him the way he killed my mom.”
Now that she mentioned it, I could smell the gas emanating from him.
She meant burning him alive.
I smiled. ”You did this?” I asked her.
“Yes.” She bent down next to me.
”I”m so proud of you,” I said, kissing her, ”You”re just like your father. Determined and stubborn.”
”Thank you,” her eyes twinkled.
An elated satisfaction washed over me—finally. Saul would be dead.
And Summer had given me this gift.
The men held Saul down—he’d suddenly become alive again—and I held his jaw open while Summer poured the potion into his mouth. Then I clamped his jaw shut, covering his nose so he couldn’t breathe.
Mama Bondo placed three sticks of dried blood-weed into a jar filled with a sharp smelling vinegar. Screwing on the lid, she turned it upside down, then placed a white candle on top. Carefully tying a black ribbon around it, she began to chant. “As Jesus turned water into vinegar, so shall Saul turn into nothing.”
As she switched to an unknown language, there was a clang! clang! noise. Lux and Harmony were banging a set of machetes together.
Who the fuck knew what was going onbut I didn’t question it.
All I cared about was Summer.
I was still holding Saul’s jaw and nose shut, and he was struggling against me, his fingernails digging into my skin. I held him until I saw his throat bob, then gave him a few seconds longer until his face was one shade of red deeper.
He sucked in a deep breath.
”Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Summer, watching Saul to make sure he’d swallowed the potion.
If she was going to step into the darkness with me, she had to do it willingly, without cohesion.
I had to give her an out.
“I’ll do it myself, if you don’t want to,” I looked at her.
“No,” she said, with no hesitation, “We’ll do it together.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it.
Saul suddenly jerked forward. Grabbing Summer”s ankle, he yanked. There was a flash of metal.
My heart in my throat, I grabbed for her. It was already too late.
She”d fallen on top of him and he wrapped his cuffed hands around her, holding a knife to her throat. It looked familiar to the one I’d often seen with Lux—somehow, he’d gotten it.
I now noticed that the zip ties on his ankles had been cut.
”Should”ve listened to Rook and killed me when you had the chance,” he taunted. “Now, uncuff me,” he demanded from the Sheriff. “Or I slit her throat.”
At that exact moment, lights flooded the area. Several cars pulled up. The Sheriff and his men pulled out their guns. I cursed running off without my own.
At the distraction, Saul jerked to his feet, dragging Summer with him.
She struggled but he dug the knife deeper. Her blood dripped down her neck.
“You’re dead,” I growled to him.
”Don’t fucking move, or I will kill her,” He was talking to me, a deadly glint in his eyes.
I knew he would do it. I stilled, holding up my hands.
“Uncuff me,” he repeated.
“Do it,” I commanded the Sheriff, not willing to take a chance on her life.
While his men poured from the cars, the Sheriff unlocked Saul. Within seconds, we were surrounded. Everyone had their guns out, in a Mexican standoff.
Maxon was at the front. He held his gun in front, aimed at me.
Mama Bondo was ignoring everything, continuing to chant. Her voice grew louder, raising her hands into the air.
My heart pounded. No no no no no.
This wasn”t supposed to happen.
Not like this.
”Take me,” I growled, my stomach churning with fear.
”What?” Saul said, yelling over the chanting, which had reached a fever pitch.
The wind seemed to pick up, making the candles flicker. The shadows lengthened on the trees behind us. The smell of a coming storm filled the air.
Lux and Harmony were no longer banging the machetes together, but stood, facing the men, ready to use them as a weapon.
”Let her go, and take me instead.” I told Saul. At his hesitation, I kept on, ”You can have it. Everything. All my money. Information. Anything you want.”
”Who are you anyway?” Saul drug Summer closer towards his men. His eyes darted between us. Then back at me.
”You can take my life, if you want. Everything, but just let her go, and let her live.”
”Who are you!” Saul screamed now.
The wind grew stronger, blowing our hair, and a fat rain drop hit me in the face.
”My real name used to be Rook Undergrove.”
Saul tilted his head to the side, his chest heaving. “It sounds familiar, but I can”t place it.” I carefully watched his hand on the knife at Summer’s neck. “Why don”t you enlighten me?”
More drops of rain began to fall. With it, the salty smell of the marsh blew towards us.
“I came to live with Douglass. The day after you killed my grandmother.”
”Mmm, and this is it, is it?” Saul questioned, ”You come here for revenge? For someone I don”t even remember.”
Stark, black rage overcame me. “Let her fucking go, or I will tear you limb from limb.”
“I’ll take everything you have,” Saul said.
Relief filled me, until he continued, ”And I”ll take Summer, too. I won’t kill you, but you are to remain a slave for the Magnolia for the rest of your life. I”m keeping her to assure your submission.”
I growled, pain and anger driving me insane. From the day my Nana was killed, this was everything I’d ever feared.
I”d never wanted to rely on another person again. Never wanted to love anyone new, in my fear that I could never protect them.
That they would be ripped from me, just as Saul was doing to Summer now.
I glanced at Maxon, willing him to turn his gun on Saul.
At that moment, Summer managed to elbow Saul in the stomach, then tore herself from his grasp.
”No!” Saul roared, already reaching for her, “Get her!”
I held out my arms for her. Instead she ran towards the trees and swamp, screaming at the top of her lungs, “Jibber babber!”
Several things happened at once.
Mama Bondo stopped her chanting.
Lightning struck overhead, lighting up the whole place
“Come here, you little bitch!” Screeching, Saul raced after Summer. “Kill them all!”
And Maxon stepped forward, his gun pointed at me.
”Maxon,” I warned, my voice quiet so only he could hear me. We’d had a deal. But, like everyone else in my life—except Summer—he would betray me.
”They”ll kill me,” he said. Rain drops hit his glasses. Ran down his cheeks.
”They won”t.” I was desperate to convince him, desperate to go after Summer, to save her. “Not if we kill Saul.”
“You think killing him will make things better?” Maxon argued, his voice filled with derision. “They”ll just replace him with someone else. Someone who’ll probably be worse.”
“Maxon, I will kill you if you don”t let me go.” I didn’t know how, but I would figure out a way—even if it came after my death.
His gaze hardened. “Or, I shoot you first.”
“You won’t.” I said. “I die, and my contacts die with me. You know this.”
Maxon stilled, and I knew what he was thinking about—the Maiden pledged to Maxon’s son. For a flicker of a second, I could see it in his eyes—the same emotions I was feeling.
Anguish.
Longing.
Love.
It was possible that even he didn’t know his own heart.
My mind sparked, knowing exactly what I needed to say to get through to him.
“Maxon, if you have ever felt something for anyone…Anyone… you will let me go. Because I lo--I love her. And I can”t let him kill her.”
A slight hesitation. Then, Maxon pulled the trigger, and shot.