Chapter 86
EIGHTY-SIX
FINCH
I woke to the smell of roses and vanilla, and a bundle of warmth in my arms. I breathed in deeply, needing more of the scent. It was rich and dark right now, hints of sugar and spice in a garden grown wild. Vivid and vibrant, the smell of beauty and life.
Tugging it closer, I felt soft skin and the brush of hair against my cheek. I must have been dreaming because nothing had ever been this peaceful. I’d never felt this weightless.
The shape in my arms shifted, and I opened my eyes a crack. We were somewhere dark, with a faint glow coming from some twinkling lights above us, and I was curled up together with my omega.
I swallowed as I looked down at her face, flushed with a faint pink hue, her lips slightly parted as she slept. A single curl was stuck to her lips, and I reached down and tucked it behind her ear.
She stirred, blinking up at me. For a moment, a smile stirred on her face, transforming her into a creature of ethereal beauty. But the next second, she had focused on me, and her eyes narrowed.
She sat up, her scent sharpening. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
I could barely focus on what she was saying, because she’d moved away and she was no longer in my arms. I tugged her closer again, frowning.
“Finch! Can you hear me?”
She was mad.
At me.
Suddenly, everything came crashing back.
The securement wing.
Ocean.
The Lucas pack and my…rut.
Oh no.
The memories didn’t get better. Laurel clinging to me through the tunnels, then coaxing me through filthy back passages.
Laurel’s anger morphed into alarm as I shoved away, backing up and away from her.
“Ocean—” I started.
“He’s all right. For now,” Laurel told me, her face softening.
Kaos popped up beside her, looking at me with concern. Shame rose in me like a wave, threatening to overwhelm me. I bowed my head, my shoulders sagging. My breathing was coming in sharp pants. I was supposed to be their shield, and yet I’d cracked and broken, exposing our weakness to the world.
“I failed.” I peered down at my trembling hands.
“Hey,” Laurel said, scooting closer. “It’s okay.”
“You don’t understand,” I said, not even able to look at her.
“All right. Then help me,” she said patiently, sitting back a bit.
I let out a breath, looking between them.
Kaos, at least, would understand. “It’s my duty to get us through this.
As pack lead. And I failed all of us.” My voice cracked as my trembling hand came up to rest over my heart.
“I was supposed to be our rock, and instead, I humiliated us in front of our enemies and our friends. I ruined our plans to free Ocean.”
I paused, looking up briefly at my packmates. Laurel’s eyes were wide, but Kaos’s mouth was set in a hard line as he listened.
“I’m sorry, Kaos. I know I’m not good at being there for you, and now my pride almost cost us everything.”
“Finch, it’s okay,” Laurel started, and my chest squeezed painfully at how she’d let me off. Like she didn’t expect me to be able to succeed in the first place. “It wasn’t your fault—”
Kaos interrupted her with a tug on her arm and a look. He’d cut off his hair and looked more alert than I’d seen him in years. Almost like his old self.
“You’re right,” he said to me. “You messed up. But we’re still here, and we still need you. So, stop throwing yourself a pity party and fix it.”
I closed my eyes, a sense of relief washing over me as I let out a shaky exhale. He still trusted me, even after I’d failed so spectacularly. It wasn’t what I deserved, but I’d take it.
“Thank you,” I said. “I promise I won’t let you down again.”
When I looked up, Laurel was shifting her gaze between me and Kaos curiously. “Okay, so I’m supposed to say, yes, you were a stubborn ass who didn’t listen to anyone and almost ruined everything?”
“It’s the truth. But I’ll do better.”
She gave a small laugh and folded her arms. “Let’s start with you actually listening to me, then.”
I nodded. I was going to prove to her that she could trust me as a leader. That I could take care of her and this pack.
“Right,” she said, crossing her legs. “You want your status report?” The side of her mouth quirked up into a half-smirk, and she raised her eyebrow.
“Yes,” I said, folding my arms.
“It’s been about twelve hours since we escaped.
We’re currently in my old hideout, right near the Duchess Suite.
Your cover is compromised, and I don’t think it’s safe for me to go back out right now.
We have a backpack full of emergency supplies, but all our important equipment is back at the villas. ”
“Like my notebook,” I said, nodding. At least the notes were written in Hangul, which would have to be translated if they got their hands on it.
“I was thinking more along the lines of all my recording equipment? All Kaos’s tech?” she said.
“Okay. We should get to the villa and collect everything as soon as we can.”
“Exactly,” Laurel said, and she tapped on her knee, thinking. “I could get Jade to go grab our stuff.”
“Kaos could go,” I said, looking to him. “No one saw you. If you’re feeling up for it?”
“Consider it done,” he said, standing up and stretching.
“Once we have your computer, we’ll check on Ocean using the security feeds. Make sure they haven’t hurt him. We’ll go from there.”
“We can feel he’s okay. For now,” Laurel said. “But the Lucas pack knows they can use him as leverage.”
I could sense her anxiety coming from the bond, mirrored by my own. The guilt threatened to come back, but I pushed it away firmly.
Make it right, I told myself.
“Okay. I’ll be back shortly,” Kaos said, climbing down the ladder at the side of Laurel’s strange nest.
“There’s a duffel bag in my dressing room,” Laurel told him. “Code is 0430.”
He grinned at her, and we watched him disappear into the dark.
Laurel got up and started fiddling with the blankets in the nest. I saw the remains of one of my shirts get tucked into a pillowcase, and Kaos’s beanie was placed gently on a mango stuffie.
I’d thought omegas’ nests were simply a space designed to be comfortable, but actually being in Laurel’s, I was starting to see it was more than that.
She was changing things so that the nest wasn’t simply for her, but for our pack.
This nest was full of our scents; her sweet vanilla rose, Kaos’s sharp electrical absinthe, and my persimmon all layering together to make something that felt like home.
But it wasn’t quite right, because Ocean’s scent wasn’t here.
Even I could sense that it was incomplete, and I could only imagine how much more viscerally Laurel was feeling it.
I could feel her agitation grow as she tugged things around, until she let out a frustrated huff and sat down, arms wrapped around her legs.
I took out my phone and shot off a text.
“I just told Kaos to grab some of his clothes,” I told her, moving over to sit close.
She looked up at me through her hair. “You have some?” she asked hopefully.
“Yeah. The scent won’t be strong, but it’s better than nothing.”
She surprised me by wrapping her arms around me and moving so she was straddling my lap. “Thank you,” she said, nuzzling into my chest. Her relief saturated her scent, and a purr started in my chest in response.
“Of course,” I said, holding her closer. “You are ours to cherish and honour, and I’m going to do it right this time.”
I hesitated.
“Unless, of course, you don’t want that,” I managed, my words stiff. “I understand I illegally bonded you, and you’d be within your rights to press charges.”
“Right,” Laurel said, chewing her lip. “Actually, I have something to tell you about that. I went to an omega clinic the other day, one where I knew they had a seer on staff.”
I stiffened, my gaze fixed on her. “I see. Clever. They detected the dark bond, then? You have it on record?”
She nodded, and I was kind of proud, actually, even as disappointment curdled in my gut.
She was smart. Simply showing up at a location where a seer was didn’t break my commands, though I’d released her at that point, anyway.
A seer was a person born with the rare ability to visualize bonds; simply by looking at her, they would have been able to identify that she was dark bonded.
“They pulled me aside,” she said, “and sat me down to examine it.”
Laurel pulled out an envelope that had been tucked inside a pillowcase and handed me the report inside. I scanned the page, my confusion growing. I re-read it a couple of times.
“Consensual?” I asked, looking up at her for an explanation. “They determined the bond was consensual? Did you bribe them?”
She shook her head, taking the paper back and tucking it into the envelope. “I thought it might be but had to be sure. They said it was a hard one to assess, but in the end, determined I’d given consent.”
“But why?”
“It was because of my dad.” She looked up at me, a deep pain in her eyes.
“You were there, and this bond was going to force its way in, but I surrendered. Because that way, my dad would lose. I’d never have to bond whoever he chose; in a way, I was free.
Don’t get me wrong—I was still pissed off, and that’s probably why the seer went back and forth a bit, but yeah. It’s legitimate.”
She slid the envelope back to where she’d stored it and reached up to stroke my cheek. “I don’t want to press charges against you. I want to stay with you. I know why you bonded me, and I know it wasn’t because you’re a bad person.”
“If I could take it back, I would. I’d offer you a princess bond if I could do it over.”
“The last pack that did that ended up dead,” she joked. “So far, the pack that offered me the dark bond has stayed alive. Let’s keep that pattern up, huh?”