Chapter 25
25
RYAN
A tear rolls down my cheek.
I’ve been watching him sleep for the past hour. After the first round of sex, he convinced me to go with him to his place. If people were looking for me, he felt it was safer for me to be in his cabin, where my name wasn’t attached to the rental agreement. I understood his train of thought, even though I knew it wasn’t necessary.
I wouldn’t be staying.
I had to leave. The entire town erupted in chaos. While Marcus ran out to pick up dinner from the diner and Buddy from Dale’s house, I packed up my belongings. Marcus thought I was doing it to move into his cabin for a few nights, but I knew in my heart this was it. I couldn’t stay. I can’t subject this beautiful, small town to the pandemonium that comes with my life. It’s not fair to them.
Any of them.
Especially Marcus.
Hallie checked in with me, as did the rest of the women I consider friends. Ellie mentioned that TD was still working, trying to get order back amidst the madness. And the paparazzi? They were talking to everyone they could, trying to dig up any ounce of information they could. By now, I’m sure they found out where my rental is. It wouldn’t be too hard, even if I used my middle name, and it was only a matter of time before they descended on Marcus’s private little world in the timber.
When Marcus returned, we ate in the kitchen and played with Buddy. When it was time for the dog to go outside, Marcus went alone, refusing to let me join him for fear someone was lurking out there somewhere. At the end of the evening, we put Buddy to bed and went to bed ourselves. But we didn’t sleep. At least not for a while. We made love. Twice more.
That’s what it was, at least for me.
I’m falling in love with Marcus Wright, and that’s why I need to go.
Not because I’m scared of the way I feel, but simply to protect him. I’m sure he’d laugh if I suggested he needs protecting, but he does. From the madness that surrounds me and my life. Marcus prefers solitude. He craves the privacy of his own cabin, surrounded by nothing but nature. His world is simple, quiet, and so unlike my own.
His world is here.
And mine isn’t.
Another tear falls as I carefully slide out from under his arm. He stirs but doesn’t fully wake. After a few seconds, he settles against his pillow and falls back into a deep sleep. I quickly move to retrieve my clothes. I left most of my belongings in my rental SUV after TD dropped it off, only bringing a few items inside for bed. The plan was to bring in all the luggage in the morning, but that’s not what’s going to happen.
I won’t be here.
Silently, I dress in the bathroom. My sandals are by the front door, so as soon as I’ve slipped on a T-shirt and pair of shorts, I run my fingers through my hair and wipe off what little makeup might be smeared beneath my eyes. When I’m ready, I grab the Wright Auto Repair hat and place it on my head. Even if I won’t be here, I’ll still carry a piece of him with me.
Not only in my heart but sitting on top of my head.
That thought brings a smile to my face.
As quiet as a mouse, I flip off the light and slip from the bathroom. There’s enough moonlight filtering through the big windows to illuminate Marcus in bed. He’s breathtaking. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d fall for a rugged man like him, but here we are. My heart belongs to him, and probably always will. In less than three weeks’ time, I fell in love with the grumpy man who rescued me on the side of the road.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
And I have to protect him from the chaos that comes with being Ryan Marcotte.
As much as I’d love to walk over and kiss his lips one last time, I can’t risk waking him up. So instead, I touch my fingers to my lips, close my eyes, and release the kiss into the air. In my mind, it floats softly from me to him, landing firmly on his lips in the lightest touch.
Buddy stirs, knowing something’s up. Instead of begging him to stay put—and knowing he won’t—I tap my leg once so he comes. We walk down the stairs together, and just before I’m too far down to see, I stop and give him one last look.
Those random tears from before?
They fall in earnest now.
I make sure my belongings are shoved inside my smaller suitcase before standing up and glancing around at the gorgeous cabin. A sad smile stretches across my lips. I don’t want to leave, but I need to. Any dream I started to entertain by staying here is nothing more than that.
A dream.
Buddy presses his nose against my neck. I fling my arms around his, slipping my fingers into his soft fur. “I’m going to miss you, boy,” I choke out, the emotion bubbling to the surface like a volcano. “Be good for your dad, you hear?”
He whimpers, as if feeling my heartache. He rests his jaw on my shoulder and sighs.
“I know, Buddy. I know.” Forcing myself to stand up, I say, “You take care of your dad, okay? Don’t let him be grumpy all the time.”
His tongue hangs out, but I can still see the sadness in his eyes.
I pull the note I wrote from my pocket and place it on the coffee table. Bending down, I press a kiss on the top of Buddy’s head. “I’ll miss you so much.”
Grabbing my suitcase, I roll it to the front door and gently release the lock. My phone and purse were left on the table beside the door for this very reason, so as soon as I have them in hand, I slip out the front door, flipping the lock on the handle as I go. The air holds a chill, one that would burn off at the first sight of the sun. But right now, in the middle of the night, it feels heavy and unsettling.
I manage to throw my suitcase into my SUV without dropping it, and just as I prepare to climb behind the wheel, I gaze back up at the cabin. Buddy is sitting in front of the door, his head still visible from where I stand. A single tear slides down my cheek, and the last thing I want to do is start crying before I even get out of the driveway.
I start the vehicle and throw it in gear. I risk a quick glance at the porch, almost expecting to see Marcus hurrying toward me, but there’s no one there. Marcus is still soundly sleeping upstairs, and it’s time for me to go. I changed my return flight earlier when Marcus was in the shower, and even though it doesn’t leave until 6:00 a.m. I need to go now.
Because if I don’t, I may never want to leave.
And once I’m gone, the people who flocked to Pine Village to find me will leave too. Everything will get back to normal. It’s that simple.
Yet, it feels so complicated and hurts my heart. I don’t want to leave, but I know it’s the right thing to do. For everyone.
Tears accompany me the entire ride to the airport.
“I was surprised to hear you had returned a week early,” my mom says in way of greeting as I step inside my childhood home. She places a motherly kiss on my cheek and shuts the door behind me.
“It wasn’t fair to the small town I was staying in. The paparazzi was hounding them to no end. Plus, Vaughn showed up,” I say, joining her in the kitchen on Friday morning.
“I saw the photos,” she says, pouring two mugs of coffee. As she moves to the refrigerator to get the creamer, she adds, “That man has absolutely no couth.”
“None,” I confirm after pouring a bit of my favorite coffee creamer into the mug she places in front of me and taking a sip.
“What time did you land yesterday?” she asks, watching me over the brim of her mug.
“Eight in the morning,” I confirm.
Memories of arriving at the airport yesterday morning filter through my mind. Unfortunately, my luck on remaining undetected ran out. I was spotted immediately and had to hide out in the airport security office until it was time to catch my flight. Even then, I was hounded, questions screamed at me, my photo taken a million times.
It was a confirmation that I had made the right decision to leave.
“I slept most of the morning yesterday and then went to the office to meet with Ariana.”
Mom nods. “The party is coming along nicely. Everything will be set for next Saturday night.”
It’s my turn to nod now. “Thank you for helping.”
She waves off my comment. “It was nothing. Not only do I enjoy organizing a party, but I did it for my daughter’s first winter product line reveal, as well as the introduction of the face of her company. It’s an honor, darling.”
I give her a small smile, one that probably doesn’t reach my eyes.
“Tell me about Pine Village,” she says, leaning her elbows on the counter in front of me.
This time, my smile is real. “It’s this quaint little town, where everyone knows everyone. It sits along a big national park, with a lake, lots of cabins, and trails for riding four-wheelers and snowmobiles.”
“Four-wheelers?” she asks, her eyes dancing with delight.
I nod in confirmation. “I rode a four-wheeler.”
“Wow, look at you! Our little adventurer,” she quips with a beautiful smile.
Lifting my shoulders, I tell her, “It was fun.”
And it was. Marcus took me all over his property and around part of the lake. He even showed me how to get to Blair and Gabe’s house from the trails. It was a great time, and while I was nervous—and maybe a bit scared at first—I loved every second of it.
It was freeing and wild.
Much like my time with Marcus.
Her smile remains as she sips her coffee. “Tell me about him. Marcus.”
I close my eyes, picturing him. “There’s nothing much to say, really,” I say lamely, making her chuckle.
“I beg to differ. It sounds like there’s plenty to say, including how much you care for him.”
I shrug my shoulders and keep my focus on my coffee. “I, uh, might have fallen in love with him.”
When she doesn’t respond, I glance up. I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but her grinning from ear to ear wasn’t it.
“What?” I ask.
“I’m just so happy for you,” she says, taking another small sip of her hot beverage.
“Happy? Why?” I don’t seem to follow her line of thought.
“Love is a beautiful thing,” she insists. “I fell in love with your father almost immediately. It was a classic case of love at first sight.”
“Mom, did you miss the part where he lives in Wisconsin, and I live here?” I ask incredulously.
She shrugs. “The heart wants what it wants, Ryan.”
I feel my eyes well with tears as my head shakes. “It can’t work, Mom. His life is…so simple there. And mine is complicated. I have the TV show and my makeup line.”
“Two things you can do from Wisconsin.”
I snort a very unladylike noise. “Who wants to watch a TV show set in Wisconsin?”
She shrugs. “You never know, honey. It could be a hit, just like the one here. And you and I both know your work can be done anywhere. You’d have to do some travel, sure, but it’s completely doable.”
Air deflates from my sails. “I understand what you’re saying, but…it can’t work.”
“Can’t? Or you won’t let it?”
I open my mouth to argue, but nothing comes out.
“Listen, Ryan, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you this. Don’t walk away from love because you’re scared. Being scared is natural, normal, and frankly, it’s part of life. Bravery comes from within. You already have it, sweetheart. You just need to follow your heart. Be that wild girl I remember, climbing trees in the backyard, even when she was told not to.”
I crack a small smile at the memory her words evoked. “But…what if he doesn’t feel the same way? I mean, it’s not like we discussed any of this. Heck, we didn’t discuss anything. I, uh, might have left in the middle of the night.”
“Ryan,” she groans, shaking her head in disappointment. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I left a note,” I add lamely, dropping my gaze once more to the counter.
“And I suppose this note didn’t tell him how you really felt, did it?”
I shake my head. “It was just a fling.” I cringe a little, wishing I weren’t sharing such intimate details with my mother, of all people.
“So? Just because something started as a fling doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.”
I rub my forehead, to the spot where my stress headache is forming. “That’s not what’s happening here. I know you secretly want me to have a love at first sight moment like you had with Dad, but this is different.”
She meets my eye, leveling me with a stern gaze of her own. “I want you to have everything, sweetheart. Whether that’s love at first sight, a fling turned to more, or whatever hand the good Lord deals you, I want you to find love because you’re so worthy of it. The man you’re supposed to give your whole heart to is nothing like that Vaughn Cramer jerk. He’ll make you laugh. He’ll listen to you share your hopes and dreams, and he’ll do his part in helping you achieve them. That’s the type of love I want for you.”
I don’t know when I started to cry, but I swipe at the tears on my cheeks. “I want that too,” I whisper, my heart aching for what I don’t have.
She leans forward and reaches for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You will. I know it. The right man is out there for you, sweetie. Maybe he’s the guy you left behind in Wisconsin. Maybe not. But he’s out there, and he’s looking for you too. When you least expect it, he’ll make himself known. He’ll be there for you in ways no one before ever has. That’s when you’ll know.”
I lean down, resting my cheek on the cool quartz counter. “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time on Vaughn.”
Mom sighs. “He was a life lesson. One where you’ll learn a great deal about yourself and others, but he’s not the end of your story.”
“He showed up in Pine Village.”
“Of course he did. He’s a selfish, small man who needed you to try to fix his mistakes for him.”
I snort. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens.”
“According to those entertainment websites, he went looking for you in that small town to rekindle your romance. Apparently, some of your supporters were outraged by his appearance there and told him that much. Of course, with the paps being all over the place, a lot of it was caught on camera. One woman even slapped him across the face for being such a weasel of a man.”
My mouth falls open. “She did?”
Mom smiles victoriously. “A feisty woman who lived there. I think they said her name was Hallie.”
“Oh my God!” I whisper.
Mom grins. “Friend of yours?”
“Actually, yes. Hallie, Blair, Ava, Ellie, and Jillian are lovely women. I really enjoyed my time with them.”
“Well, Vaughn screamed for the cops to arrest her for assault, but the sheriff refused. Said it was self-defense, since Vaughn poked her in the shoulder when she started yelling at him.”
I bark out a laugh, knowing I’ll be searching the internet later to find the clip. I can’t wait to watch Hallie hand Vaughn his ass.
“Listen, Ryan, you don’t have to decide anything today. Or even tomorrow. Take some time and do some soul-searching. Listen to your heart. It won’t steer you wrong.”
I nod, understanding what she’s saying. There are a lot of different factors I need to consider before I make any final decisions, even though leaving in the middle of the night is a pretty big statement. He may not even want to talk to me after what I did, and even if he does agree to talk, that doesn’t mean he’ll be interested in a relationship. He could say no as easily as he could say yes.
“I will, promise.”
“Good. Now, let’s talk about this party we’re hosting next Saturday night.”