Chapter 24
Javi, Present
I barely hoist myself over his balcony.
It’s a pretty uncoordinated effort tonight, tripping over my feet and stumbling as I try to regain my balance.
I’ve been impatiently waiting all day to talk to him. Sitting inside my room, staring at his window. Waiting for any kind of movement. But it’s been still and silent all day.
Now it’s one in the morning. I had to wait until I heard the sound of Scott finally passing out, snoring on the couch with his beer can still in his hand before I could go.
When I get my bearings, I go to pull my credit card out of my pocket but find that the door is already cracked.
I push it open with a soft squeal. Declan is there.
It surprises me a bit. He’s usually asleep when I come.
But today he’s awake and facing me, sitting on the edge of his bed dressed in an oversized crop top and short shorts that show off an ungodly amount of his pale, slender legs, all the way down to his green-painted toenails.
My eyes roam all over him on their own. Licking a path across his exposed skin.
I don’t want to look at him like that. I’m not here for any type of sex.
I’m angry.
I’m annoyed and fucking anxious.
And even though I don’t want to admit it, I’m hurt.
“Why are you awake?” I ask him from where I stand by the door.
“I knew you’d come tonight.”
“I’m here pretty much every night—you’re not awake those times.”
“Today you’re here for something else.”
I stay quiet, trying to contain the flustering feeling I have swirling around in my chest.
He has his lights set to a pale blue. It makes everything look depressed in his room. Him included. His sad gray eyes stare at me with no emotion. “I saw you arguing with Carter after I went inside,” he offers as an explanation.
“Why were you talking to him?” It comes out as a growl. I wish I could be like him. So calm and unaffected, but seeing them together again was just too much.
“I wasn’t talking to him. He was talking to me.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what I fucking mean. Why were you guys talking?”
He shrugs. “It was nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
I notice the slightest tic to his jaw as he raises his head to look back at me. “Did you just come here to call me a liar?”
“No. I came here to know the truth and you refuse to give it. I think you owe me that much.”
A full on snarl breaks across his pretty features. “I don’t owe you anything.”
That’s not true either. He owes me a lot. After what he fucking did. I’ve been forgetting. But after today, it’s been flashing in my eyes. A blinding light.
I take a few breaths and try to change tactics. “Don’t talk to him anymore.”
He laughs at that as he leans back on his elbows.
It makes his crop top ride up to expose his flat stomach.
My eyes flick down and then back up to his face.
“I will do whatever the fuck I want,” he says to me, enunciating each of the syllables.
“And I already told you that I wasn’t the one talking to him. ”
“Why should I believe you?”
He stares back at me, his mouth firmly shut. Because he knows exactly what I’m talking about.
“Get out of my room,” he mutters.
That sends me into a spiral. I charge toward the bed, stopping just short of the edge and standing over him.
“Why can’t you ever just fucking admit it?
Admit to what you did, Declan. You fucking hurt me and then flicked me off in front of the whole school like you didn’t give a fuck about any of it. ”
“Get out,” he repeats, a wobble in his voice this time.
“No!” I yell it. I don’t mean to. And I don’t like how it feels.
I’m fucking tired of this. Holding on to all of it. It’s draining. I want to let Declan go, to just move on. It’s probably too damaged to salvage anyway.
But I can’t.
I take a deep breath. “You have to give me something, munequito. Just tell me something.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m—” In love with you again. Despite everything I told myself. Despite everything that happened. Despite how stupid it is.
I can’t say any of that to him.
I search his sullen face and try again. “I’m in over my head. I let this”—I gesture between the two of us—“get away from me. And now it’s too far gone.”
I’m talking in fucking riddles. I can’t make anything come out right. I can’t just say what’s on my mind. That he needs to give me some type of reassurance. Something to hold on to.
He stands, causing me to back up to accommodate him, but for each step I take, he replaces it with one of his own. “I wasn’t talking to him. He was already in the yard when I pulled up. I tried to get past him, but he stopped me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”
Reaching for my face, he rests his hands on my cheeks. It feels caring, breaking down the defenses that I badly need against him—making something too vulnerable bubble up out of my mouth. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?” he asks, his eyes pinging between mine.
“Being stupid again.”
He nods. “Me too.”
I briefly wonder why he would be scared. I have a valid reason. He doesn’t.
I don’t have time to dwell on it because he’s pulling my face down to his.
The press of his lips feels different tonight. It’s gentle and sweet, filled with a promise that I can’t decipher.
I follow his lead, languidly massaging my tongue against his, trying to remember everything about this moment, because it feels pivotal.
My fingers glide along the taut skin of his stomach, causing goosebumps to disturb the smoothness as I reach underneath and pull his shirt up.
The diamond hoops in his nipples glint against the pale-blue light as we separate to take the fabric over his head. And then we’re fused back together, walking awkwardly backward as my hands coast over his chest, flicking the dainty hoops until his knees hit the bed and we fall onto it.
He pulls away. We both stare, heavily panting into each other’s mouth.
“Will you fuck me, Javier?”
A bolt of lightning hits me, zapping me in the groin and then spreading warmth out in every direction. I clear my throat, but my voice still comes out wrecked. “Yes, munequito. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” He rushes the words out as he tugs me back down to him.
I try to control myself. To keep it mild and gentle. But my lust is quickly overpowering me.
All I can think about is how I’m about to be inside him. I’ll own him.
I know that’s probably a shitty thing to say. But I’m too far gone. I want to own him in all the ways he’ll let me. Keep him sheltered away from everyone else. Only for me. Mi munequito.
My kiss turns messy and heated. It’s a feast. Me eating every sound of pleasure that comes out of him.
He whimpers through it all, shamelessly grinding his hard cock up against mine through our clothes.
It makes me feel light-headed. So mind-numbingly good that I have to rip my mouth away and grab onto his cock to stop him. He freezes with a squeak. “Nooooo,” he groans.
“Fuck, munequito. If you keep doing that I’m going to come before I can get inside your ass.”
“That’s fine,” he mutters, trying to rub himself off on my hand. “Just don’t fucking stop.”
I shake my head and grab onto his legs, quickly flipping him onto his front. “No. You have no idea how much I want this.” I yank him up by the pelvis then lower myself to press my face into his taint through his shorts.
I inhale deeply, injecting his musk right into my soul as his thighs tremble around my face. Leaning back, I slowly pull his shorts over the mounds of his ass, reveling in the unhurried reveal of every inch of his flawless skin.
Leaving his shorts at his bent knees, I bring my hands up to pull his cheeks apart and place a finger over his quivering hole. “I’d never give up getting to fuck this tight little hole for a mediocre dry-humping session.”
He makes a desperate sound. Something between a whine and a mewling cat. “Javier! Fuck me,” he begs, pushing his ass back against my finger.
“Enough.” It’s a barked command. I give his ass a quick swat, making him groan. I stare appreciatively as the red print of my hand blooms across his ass cheek.
Leaning down, I place a sloppy kiss on his tight ring of muscle. He melts, a satisfied sigh escaping from his lips as he tips his head up to the ceiling.
“Relax, munequito. Don’t rush this.” I suck on two of my fingers, making sure they’re completely soaked when I pull them out and rub them around his entrance.
“Oh fuck,” he says breathily.
“I need to make sure she’s ready for me first.” I remove my fingers to spit onto his hole, quickly rubbing the saliva around with my tongue. “She needs to be nice and sloppy to take my cock.”
His whole body shivers, but he still tries to sound angry. “My hole is not—” His voice cuts out and is replaced by a tiny whimper when I push two fingers inside of him. “My-my hole is not f-fucking sloppy.”
I pump my fingers in and out of him a few times, letting the squelching sound of his ass swallowing my digits fill the air.
“You hear that, munequito? That’s a sloppy fucking hole. And it’s all for me.”
He doesn’t argue this time, starting to rock his hips back against each thrust of my fingers.
His head hits the mattress as he loses the last of his composure, creating a deeper arch in his back as he lets out a slew of moans and unintelligible words. It sends his ass higher in the air. A beautiful, filthy sight glowing against the blue light that my dick appreciates to a painful level.
I slow my pace, which he instantly complains about. “No no no no no,” he groans.
I pull my fingers all the way out, and it almost sounds like he sobs. “Come back, please,” he says in a small voice.
I pet my hand down his back before bending over him, putting my face close to his. Lifting his chin, I kiss him deeply, tasting all of the desperation on his tongue. “Don’t worry, mi amor. I’m going to take care of you. I just need to put a condom on.”