Chapter 37
Javi, Present
“Mr. Morales.” The judge flips the papers set in front of her before flicking her eyes down at me. “This is quite the list of charges. Especially because I’ve never seen you around my courtroom before.”
I shift my tired eyes to her. After being assessed by the medical team because I was tased, I had to stay in jail all night before I could see the judge.
I should’ve slept or something, but I couldn’t. I pretty much sat numb and motionless from the moment they cuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I had the chance to see Declan’s wrecked face as they pulled out of the driveway. He looked so broken—utterly miserable.
She starts reading the charges off. “Assault. Destruction of personal property over twenty-thousand dollars. Resisting or obstructing a police officer.” She rubs at her forehead as she scans the document. “It says here that they had to tase you to get you to cooperate. Is that true?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” I say as my public defender gives me a shoulder pat for my answer.
She sits back in her bench, leveling me with a contemplative look. “These charges don’t make me feel very good. Even with it being your first offense. Your bail should be set pretty high, or denied altogether.”
I’m silent, watching her face as she tries to piece me together.
Leaning forward again, she shrugs. “Just to satisfy my curiosity… you probably can guess that these charges wouldn’t be so bad if you had cooperated when they ordered you to step away from the victim. So why didn’t you?”
I don’t answer right away, trying to think of the best way to answer the question.
When I come up with nothing, she speaks again. “Let me remind you that you’re in a court of law, Mr. Morales. So you should speak the truth, lest you perjure yourself.”
I nod. “He hurt my friend, Your Honor.”
“Okay. How?”
“I can’t say, Your Honor.”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “You can’t say?”
“It’s not my information to tell, Your Honor. He will tell if he wants to.”
She nods thoughtfully and clicks her tongue.
“Well, that’s very noble of you, Mr. Morales.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t help you much here, but maybe if things come to light later, it could influence your sentencing.
Bail will be set to forty-thousand dollars.
Defendant’s plea hearing set for two weeks from today.
Good luck, Mr. Morales.” She bangs her gavel. “Dismissed. Next case.”
My defender shakes my hand, assuring me he’ll devote as much time as he can to my case, if my family doesn’t get me a different lawyer.
Honestly, I’m not sure what will happen there. I know we have the money for it, but I can’t imagine Scott being very willing to help me out at all here.
An officer grabs onto my arm, guiding me through the bright hallways and locking me behind the door of the holding cell again. The same one I started in where my mind replayed all the events of last night, agonizing over every decision I made.
I tuck myself away on a bench in the corner, ignoring everyone else as I restart the process, seeing the bat in my hands, hearing the crunching of gnarled metal below my blows, feeling Carter’s thumping pulse beating underneath my hands.
I know I fucked up. Calhoun University will definitely rescind my offer when they hear about my arrest. I don’t know what kind of jobs I can get with a record like this, but that might not even matter if I go to fucking prison, which honestly seems pretty likely.
But even despite all of that, I can’t find the urge in me to regret what I did.
Maybe I should’ve listened when Declan screamed at me to stop, but Carter didn’t earn that. He needed to hurt. To feel some small piece of what Declan has gone through. The pain isn’t exactly the same, but it’s something. Declan deserved some type of closure, and I thought this might do it.
I don’t know if I accomplished that, or just added more complications to an already fucked situation, but either way, Carter needed that to happen to his smug self.
And now, my future might be completely fucked because of it.
My lawyer said I’m lucky I didn’t hurt him more. That he only had to be treated at the scene and he was good.
I don’t think that’s lucky of me at all.
What Carter did was fucking disgusting, plus all the shit he talked to everyone after, trying to cover his tracks, painting Declan as some slut who would definitely be down to be recorded.
And I… just bought all of it.
The shame from earlier douses me in a cold, sticky coating.
Declan was right, Carter easily convinced me of what happened.
It makes sense that people who don’t know Declan would buy it.
But me? I knew him. I was so shocked and hurt when I found out that I didn’t give my brain any more time to analyze anything.
Too consumed in all my own pain to notice what was happening.
And now, will he ever forgive me? Is he even still mad? I’m not sure. I was so stuck in the violence. The only clue I have is that sad, miserable face he showed me before they drove me away.
That doesn’t bode well.
I may have lost him. For good this time.
My eyes fill with tears. Curling my legs up to my chest, I shield myself from all the other people in the cell.
“Morales.”
My head springs up, meeting the gaze of a bored looking police officer.
“Your bail’s been posted,” he says casually. “Come on.”
I stumble behind him, jittery and anxious not only to see who bailed me out, but to get my eyes on Declan. To beg for him to forgive me. To never leave me.
I rub at my sore, tired eyes as the officer stops at a window where a woman who definitely doesn’t like her job hands me a drawstring plastic baggie filled with everything that was in my pockets when I was booked in.
I immediately reach in to grab my phone, trying to power it on and hoping that I have a message from Declan. But it’s dead.
I silently curse and follow the officer again, this time through a door and down a winding hallway that spits me out into a waiting room full of anxious faces.
“Javi!”
Landon’s worried and Grant’s grumpily stoic face come into view as I turn in the direction of the voice.
I quickly walk up to them, giving them each a bro-hug before blurting. “Where’s Declan?”
Grant cocks his head at me, a smug little smile on his face. “How about ‘Thanks for waiting all fucking night for me to see the judge and then posting bail, Grant’?”
I sigh. “I’m sorry. Thank you so much, man. But let’s be real. If you were in my shoes, you would’ve come sprinting out of that door, bypassing me to find Landon.”
Landon blushes slightly as Grant narrows his eyes at me. “Well, Landon is mine. I love him. So, it’s different.”
They both raise their brow expectantly at me, awaiting my response. I stare back at them cooly. “No, it’s not different. I’m in love with Declan. He’s mine, if he’ll still have me.”
Landon grabs my shirt and pulls me toward him as a quiet growl rumbles in his chest.
Despite the fact that he’s a bit shorter than me, a little spark of fear courses through me. Mostly because I’ve never seen Landon be so angry like this.
“Are you sure? Because that’s my best friend, and he’s been through enough shit without you coming and fucking around with him.”
I place my hands where he’s clutching my shirt. “I promise. Declan is the end for me.”
He eyes me suspiciously but lets go of my shirt and opens his mouth to say something else but is interrupted by an abrupt shriek.
My mom rushes toward me, her arms stretched wide and a large puddle of coffee and paper cups she must have dropped behind her.
Her arms wrap around me like a vise as she quietly cries into my chest. “Yo estaba preocupada por ti, idiota.”
I hug her tightly back. “I didn’t mean to worry you, Ma.”
She untangles herself from my arms, stepping back to wipe her tears. “Well, you did,” she chastises. “And your friend paid to bail you out. We owe him that money now, and I don’t know how we will pay him back when we have to find somewhere else to live and pay for a divorce attorney.”
I grab onto her shoulders and try to contain the hope blooming in my chest. “A divorce attorney?”
Any indignation slides off her face, replaced with something more solemn.
“Yes, papi. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.
I thought… I thought I was doing the right thing.
You had never had a father and then this man came along and swept me away—bought us everything we needed.
Was sweet and caring. I fell in love with him.
And when things started getting bad, it felt wrong to take all of that away from you.
” Her voice quakes on her words as she continues.
“I should’ve protected you more, papi. But I didn’t.
I was scared—of him, of leaving and being on our own again—and honestly, a part of me always thought he could change.
We both suffered because of it. I let you down, and I’m so sorry. ”
My soul wilts watching her apologize to me.
“Ma… I won’t lie, there were times when I was so mad at you.
Where I would pray so hard for you to leave him.
To do something. I thought I would take anything—homelessness—instead of living with Scott.
There might even be times in the future where I wonder what life could’ve been like if you had had the courage to leave.
But, Ma, it was not your fault. He broke you down at every opportunity he could, and turned around and strung you along with his small moments of joy. Scott did it to us both.”
She shakes her head, more tears falling down her face. “I’m so sorry, Javier.” She grabs me, pulling me toward her for another tight hug. I let her cry, resting my chin on top of her head, before I gently back away.
“Ma, I have to talk to Declan, okay? We will figure all of this out together.”
She nods her head and steps back. “Of course. Te quiero, papi.”
I kiss her forehead. “Te quiero, Ma.”
I spin away from her, immediately locking eyes with Grant and Landon who waited for me a few steps away.
“Outside,” Landon says, inclining his head toward the door, already knowing what I was going to ask.
I walk quickly toward the door, prying the automatic doors further apart when they take too long to open.
I can’t wait any longer.
His back is to me, hunched over on himself with his arms tucked in front of him.
“Hey,” I mutter.
He whips around, shock written all over his face as he marches up to me. I stare into his eyes the whole time, cataloging how petrified and distressed they seem. The beautiful gray color clouded by it all—rimmed with the remnants of the green eyeshadow he was wearing last night.
I open my arms to him, a sense of relief washing over me because I know I’ll feel his body against mine in only a few moments.
But right at the last moment, he stops short and drives his fist into my gut.
I double over, clutching at my stomach while letting out a long, wheezing breath.
“You fucking idiot!” he yells. “Don’t ever do that shit again.”
I stand back up, my face contorted in pain. “Munequito, I—”
“No!” He steps back, pointing an angry finger at me. “I love you, Javier. I’m in love with you, and I’m not losing you because you want to go Super Saiyan on Carter fucking Hayes.”
“But—”
He cuts me off again, running up to me and grabbing my face, pulling it down to his level.
The desperation crawls out of every pore he has.
“I know. I know what he did. But I need you, baby. I can’t have you going off and trying to get justice for me.
Carter Hayes is a gross fucking predator.
You can’t let him drag you down too. I need you here… with me.”
“He should pay,” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “He should. Maybe he will. Maybe I’ll do something when I come around to the idea that this actually happened to me. But maybe I won’t and maybe he’ll go off in life never paying for what he did. Either way, I need you with me. That’s the most important thing.”
“Okay,” I say simply and then I’m wrapped up in everything Declan has to offer.
He pulls my face to his, and we meet in a whirlwind. I wrap my arms around him and lift him into the air. Each swipe of his tongue is an explosion of his familiar strawberry taste.
All Declan. All mine. Everything I could ever need.
We stop kissing, keeping our faces close as we catch our breath. “You’re an ass,” he mumbles, those beautiful gray eyes sparkling as they flick between mine.
“I’m sorry.”
He draws his eyebrows down. “Not forgiven yet, asshole.”
I chuckle, pressing my forehead to his as I hold his body tightly to mine. “I’d expect nothing less from you, munequito.”