9. Brothers & Bonds
Chapter nine
Brothers & Bonds
ETHAN
F uck my head hurts. Cracking it open on a boulder will do that to you. But what’s more concerning is this bit of dark magic. Where did it come from? Kadi is furious right now. He has every reason to be.
Shasta’s my mate too. I’d be mad if I was him. Though it does explain the mixed feelings I’ve been having.
Hell, I am mad. I don’t want to be mated to a witch. Fate sure does have a funny way of telling you to go fuck yourself sometimes.
“You know, you can be real fucking stupid sometimes, Ethan. Taking off without your helmet? What was that even about? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
I look at him and whatever he reads on my face tells him that I was, in fact, not worried about dying at that moment.
“Talk to me please, dammit! All you’ve done the last two days is rage and I'm fucking sick of it. You just threw our mate across the fucking room. What if you’d hurt her? Would you be able to live with yourself? And this now too? You’re suddenly suicidal again?” I can hear the anger, fear, and hurt in his voice as he yells at me.
I deserve every bit of it.
“Kadi, I didn’t give two fucks about that helmet when I left. When you came in and told me about Shasta all I could see was my parents burning to death. I wasn’t thinking about anything else except running from the pain.” And the messed up feeling I’ve been having about her. Though I don’t feel the need to add that right now.
He sighs and sits on the edge of the bed.
“Ethan, I love you. You’re my best friend and my brother, but I’m telling you right now you have to let the hate go. Unless you want all three of us to die you have to figure out a way,” he rubs the back of his neck. “We’re her mates, the both of us, and if you ever hurt her like you just did again, you’ll be dealing with me, brother or not.”
I can’t blame him for feeling that way. The mate bond is telling me she’s there, waiting to complete the bond, and I care about her welfare, but I hate what she is. I’m sure he feels like he can’t trust me with her, and I don’t blame him.
“Kadi, I didn’t know what was happening and I reacted. Even if I don’t like what she is, you know I’d never hurt her intentionally. Especially now.”
“See, Ethan, the thing is, your hate has gotten so bad, I don’t know if I trust that. I hate that I don’t feel like I can trust you with our mate. You don’t let warlocks in the club, you refuse to go into any witch owned businesses unless it’s for a job, and now we have a mate that's a witch and the first thing you do is throw her across the room. I have a feeling that when you go to spend some time with her, you won’t even give her half a chance. She doesn’t deserve that. More importantly though, I’m worried about how this is affecting you when you are considering death to be better than trying to deal with your own emotions. I also knew there was more than just hate going on in your head, too.”
I wince. He’s not wrong, but also? Kadi has never spoken to me this way. I don’t even know how to respond. I’m trying to figure out the words to say when he growls and walks out, slamming the door behind him.
Can I blame him for that? How many times has he or one of the other guys tried to talk to me about this? How many times have they advocated for warlock members, and I’ve turned them down flat out? How many times have I pushed my brothers, the people closest to me, away because I can’t get my shit together?
Too fucking many, and I don’t know where to start trying to fix things. Lying here, in this bed, I spiral into my thoughts until I’m totally consumed by them.