Chapter 4
FOUR
RORY
“Fucking…run,” Trent whispered in my ear as I stared out at the wilderness surrounding our townhome. My body quivered in the freezing cold air of February, the chill from the nonstop rain in Seattle doing very little to curb the rod of ice that was starting to coat my spine.
It didn’t help that I was in nothing but a lacy bra and panties.
His favorite set.
My response was barely audible over the clattering of my teeth. “Please don’t make me do this.”
His responding chuckle was all I needed to know that I wasn’t going to get out of it.
It was my punishment, after all.
I fell asleep too early, and his dinner got cold.
It didn’t matter that he had come home two hours later than expected, smelling like various kinds of mixed liquor.
It was still my fault.
That liquor-scented voice started again, right as I felt the cold barrel of a pistol at my temple.
“I told you to run. This is what I like. If you can’t handle that, I can always end our marriage right here.
It’s not like you’re useful to me, anyway, huh?
Since you refuse to give me what I really want. ”
I shook. I couldn’t tell if it was from the utmost fear coursing through my veins, the adrenaline, or the cold. It had to be a mixture of everything.
Tears lined my eyes. I refused to look anywhere but in front of me. “Why do you hate me? What did I do?”
The safety of the gun clicking off made my eyes widen, and disgust rolled through me as he wrapped a hand around my waist, only to reach up and fondle one of my boobs roughly. “Can’t you see, baby? I love you. This is how I show my love. Now, be a good puppy and run. I’m not going to ask again.”
At the declaration of his so-called love, I swallowed roughly and kicked off in a run, knowing what was coming next.
I was going to lose yet another part of myself. At a meager twenty years old.
And I was going to wish my husband dead the entire time.
“Are you alright, sweetheart?” John’s voice sounded, effectively snapping me out of the terrible memory that often showed itself when I was exhausted.
The night that shattered me in more ways than I expected.
I shook my head as I looked at the old man standing across from me. “Just tired. I’ll be okay, though.”
“Girly, you know better than to bullshit me at this point. What’s going on?”
I chuckled. He had me there.
In the year I had been working for John, we had somehow grown closer by each night that passed, as it was the only time he ever stepped foot in his hotel.
He claimed he preferred the quiet to do paperwork and financing, but considering he was in once, sometimes even twice a week, I had the sneaking suspicion he just needed someone to talk to every now and then.
Especially after Mary’s passing months ago.
I didn’t mind it, though.
There were times I equally needed someone to talk to.
Being lonely was almost as debilitating as being lost, if they didn’t already coincide.
I dropped my faux, placating smile. “Can I ask you something personal?”
He raised an eyebrow and leaned against the check-in counter before crossing his arms. It was a humoring sight, to say the least, considering he fit the bill of the signature old man look.
From his blue button-down shirt and khaki pants to his white, slicked back hair and unruly mustache—there was no mistaking the life experience he carried. He responded, “Go on…”
“Have you ever had something bad happen to you…only for you to crave it happening again? Like, you shouldn’t want it—it damaged you—but you also don’t remember who you were before it all?”
Understanding lit his face. “You thinking about him again?”
“Unfortunately.”
“I can’t say I’ve been in your shoes, girly.
You met Mary. She was the love of my life, and I would have done anything for her.
” He smiled sadly, and I nodded, urging him to continue.
“But I can say that I have hit terrible lows in this life. And while I absolutely never want to experience them again…there is somehow comfort in the silence and solace of misery when it was all you knew of, once upon a time. So, I don’t crave it, but I also understand it. ”
I swallowed roughly and turned away from him as I asked my next question.
I had to beat around the bush, as I was absolutely not talking to John about my sex life.
But my therapy appointment was still a week out, and I needed the answer now.
“Say you found a way to potentially take control of the situation, though. Finding comfort in the misery…but on your terms. Would that make it better?”
“I would think so. As long as you’re not actually putting yourself in genuine danger.”
I almost wanted to laugh.
That was, unfortunately, the kicker.
I had no fucking idea what I was doing.
And what I wanted to find on Preyless? It was dangerous as fuck.
I wanted strangers to hurt me—to hunt me down like a cat with a mouse—and there was no telling on how I would react once it happened.
You could only rely on porn so much for confirmation of likes and dislikes. Add trauma into the equation? You might as well be making an atomic bomb.
Or…you could be making the cure for insanity.
He started again. “Should I be worried, Rory? Is there someone wanting to hurt you? Or are you wanting to hurt yourself?”
I turned to him quickly. “No! God, no. I don’t even know if they actually want anything to do with me. You know my brain, though. Overthinking-central.”
John blinked. “They?”
Oh, fuck me.
I went to answer, blushing and stuttering on my breath, before he raised a hand and cut me off. “I don’t wanna know. Just tell me this—are you being safe? And not just…ya know, health-class safe. But actually safe?”
My mind raced like a hamster on a wheel.
The truthful answer was…no. I knew I wasn’t being safe.
But he didn’t need to know that.
I smiled, lying through my teeth. “Of course.”
He nodded to himself before turning toward his office. My heart rate accelerated as he spoke again. “You’re a bullshit liar, sweetheart. It’s alright, though. I have a shotgun with more than enough rounds for whatever a ‘they’ requires. Let me know if we need it.”
I laughed loudly. “No getting arrested, John!”
He scoffed. “Girly, I am old as shit and a widow. They’d just take pity on me at this point.”
Immediately upon entering my makeshift apartment, I reached for my phone, desperate to check and see if the mystery military men had responded.
My heart sped up as I saw multiple messages.
PreyForUs
Hope you’re having a good shift!
What kind of old man doesn’t believe in cell phones anymore? Lame.
I don’t think we told you this btw…but you’re beautiful, and you deserve to be told that.
I don’t feel like going to sleep yet, but Wolfe (the grumpy one who calls you ‘pretty girl’) is telling me to leave you alone. Ugh.
I chuckled before realizing that the last message came through only ten minutes ago. What the fuck were they doing, awake through the night? I thought military men had to wake up at the crack of dawn. Not go to sleep.
Collapsing on the bed, my fingers started to move.
PetalstoFangs
Why the hell are you awake at all?
PreyForUs
We had to make sure our future wife was safe and sound. Duh.
I blushed.
I should not have liked that.
Oh well.
PetalstoFangs
Aren’t you two married already? And damn, at least buy a girl flowers before you buy her a ring.
PreyForUs
*eyeroll emoji*
No, we’re not married yet. But even if we were to get married tomorrow, our future third will still be referred to as our wife. Even if it’s technically illegal for official certification.
My eyes were growing heavy as I started typing out my response.
PetalstoFangs
Are you wanting me as your third? Sounds like a big decision for just meeting.
PreyForUs
Well…I mean, maybe. We’d need to cover a few things first.
The real question is—are you open to something like this?
Wolfe wants me to tell you that there’s no pressure, but I think he’s lying.
A laugh bubbled out of me.
PetalstoFangs
I think so. I’m not against it, anyway. I’ve read books with weirder things happening, so, I mean *shrugging emoji* It's up for discussion.
But I need something before I say yes, officially.
Minutes passed.
I was quickly losing the battle for sleep.
Thankfully, though, the feeling of my phone buzzing against my chest forced my eyes open again.
PreyForUs
What do you need?
And how can we make that happen for you?