24. Garden Sagebrush – Meaning Aphrodisiac Bantering Lustful bed partners Seduction
24
GARDEN SAGEbrUSH
(MAID’S RUIN, OUR LORD’S WOOD, SOUTHERN WORMWOOD)
MEANING: APHRODISIAC; BANTERING; LUSTFUL BED PARTNERS; SEDUCTION
OCEAN
________
I t was strange being alone in their house.
My house.
I needed to start thinking of it as my house. Because it was while I lived here. The closet was just as ludicrous as I thought, but I loved it. And Ashley bought me way too much fucking lingerie.
Like, seriously, who needed this much?
But I couldn’t deny that it was beautiful. All in my size. Now I just had to get the courage to actually put it on and wear it.
I was going to seduce my husbands.
The truth was, I hadn’t fully allowed myself to want them, because it was so unthinkable that they would want me . I’d been attracted from the moment I met them, but attraction and taking the leap from wanting to action were very different things.
What the hell did I wear to say hi, I’m nervous but taking a chance on something I really want, please don’t laugh at me?
The lacier, barer things were out. I was already dreading the thought of walking into view in something like that, even though they’d already—briefly—seen me naked. Even though they’d made it clear they did find me attractive. Even though they’d flat out told me they wanted me.
It sucked, but a few compliments didn’t erase years of being the most undesirable person in every room. Whether or not it was true, it was still the way I was made to feel. And no matter if I didn’t fully hate myself, it was hard to love yourself when no one else did. When no one had ever called you beautiful.
Except Micah.
I knew Cameron and Everett would say it too.
But I didn’t know if I believed it. If I ever would.
A dark blue silk caught my eye, hanging among the rows of lace. It was a simple, short, babydoll nightgown. Covering enough that it soothed my anxiety, and revealing enough—with lace at the hem and baring a sheer, plunging neckline—that it wouldn’t simply be seen as pajamas.
I closed my eyes when I pulled it off the hanger. There were even matching panties draped with it.
Breathe , Ocean . You can do this .
The skirt skimmed down my body, disguising my stomach and the worst of my stretch marks. They were going to see them anyway on my thighs and arms, but those were less visible.
This showed more of my arms than I was usually comfortable with. Laura’s voice telling me I shouldn’t wear anything sleeveless or strapless echoed in my head, but I pushed it away.
They chose me.
They wanted me.
I did look cute. Now I just had to…
Fuck .
Grabbing some lip balm, I put it on and didn’t let myself look in the mirror again. If I was going to do this, I needed to do it. Trinity was in my head cheering me on.
After we got home from Nestled we ate dinner, and then I escaped to take a shower. Now, with my hair damp and curling, I was going to find them. Cameron said they’d either still be in the kitchen or back in the TV room.
This place was so big I still felt like I needed a map to get around it, but I knew how to get back to the kitchen. But they weren’t in there. My bare feet padded on the stone tile as I made my way through it and to the TV room. Their voices sounded low through the air, and then a laugh. Again, I was jealous of how comfortable they were.
I paused outside the room, but only for a moment, because if it was more than a moment, then I’d run back to my room and hide and forget this whole idea ever existed in the first place.
Still, my toes curled under themselves as I walked in. I toyed with the edge of the skirt. Nerves felt they were burning under my skin.
Breathe .
Everett saw me first, eyes locking on me like the predator he reminded me of. He’d been speaking, and then he wasn’t. Just staring at me. Micah, and finally Cameron turned to look at me.
No one spoke, the air thick with tension.
“Um, hi.”
They still just stared at me. My face flushed, and the need to run rose up hard and fast.
“Sorry if I’m interrupting. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I know I said this morning that I’m not really good at this, so I can go and?—”
Cameron leapt up from his seat and crossed the space to me in three long strides. He sank to his knees in front of me, gripping my hips and pulling me closer. His face pressed into my stomach and the rest of him wrapped around me. “Don’t you fucking go anywhere, sweetheart. Don’t you dare.”
My hands fell hesitantly to his shoulders, distracting me enough that I didn’t notice Micah appearing beside me until his hand was tilting my face to his so he could kiss me. “You sure, princess?”
“If you are. I don’t want to force you.”
“Force us?” Everett asked. “Ocean, the only thing you need to tell us is if we’re going to your bedroom or one of ours.”
I swore my heart skipped a beat. “One of yours,” I said. My room still didn’t feel like mine, and having all three of them in my space like that felt more vulnerable than I was ready for. I would get there, but I still needed time.
“Dibs,” Cameron said, rising to his feet and lifting me off mine.
Gasping, I pushed against his shoulders. “Cameron.”
“What?”
“You can’t carry me.”
He growled, those green eyes pinning me with a stare even as he did not stop moving and didn’t put me down. Instead, he scooped his arms further under my legs and braced them against his hips. “I beg to differ. I seem to be carrying you just fine.”
Panic rolled through me. What if he dropped me? I would never live that down and then they would see the truth, and?—
We walked through a door and into a warm, masculine space. He set me down on the bed. Slowly. With intention, showing me that he could carry me if he wanted to.
“Did I scare you?” He asked.
“I don’t want you to hurt yourself carrying me.”
Cameron’s face was inches from mine. That playful energy still danced in his eyes, but this wasn’t a joke. “Do I look hurt to you?”
“No, but?—”
“I can and will throw you over my shoulder, wife. Would you like a demonstration?”
All the breath went out of my chest. “I’m good.”
He smirked. “Later, then.”
A hand touched my shoulder, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Everett was now behind me on the bed. He chuckled softly before pulling me backwards and lying down beside me, a hand around my waist. “You’re nervous, little nymph?”
Nervous was a fucking understatement. And it wasn’t because of them. It was everyone else. Their judgment. My previous experiences. All of it clanged around in my head like a bad dream I couldn’t get away from. “Yes,” I finally said, though that single word wasn’t enough to contain all of it.
Micah skimmed his hands up my legs, cleverly placing himself between them. “I designed this, you know.”
“What?”
He leaned down, mouth brushing the silk over my stomach. “This nightgown you’re wearing. It’s our brand, and I’m the one who designed it. And now I’m thinking I need to design more just for you. The Ocean Collection. Or The Princess Collection. Worldwide bestsellers already.”
“I don’t—” a whine slipped out of me, and I closed my eyes. I hated that I was panicking when this was something I wanted. Something I’d started. But all I saw was their laughter later. Felt the horror of just being a bet. Of just being a fetish.
The softness of almonds surrounded me. Amaretto and almond frosting. “Take a breath for me, wife,” Everett whispered.
I did.
“Again, please.”
I obeyed again. Then I opened my eyes to his blue ones. “There you are.” But he was looking through me. Seeing the struggle I wanted no one to see. He didn’t look away from me. “Cam, run a bath.”
“I don’t need a bath. I just showered.”
The steel in his eyes left no room for argument. So I didn’t look away even as I felt Cameron’s weight leave the bed, and Micah’s hands still grazing my thighs.
“We’re getting in the bath together,” Everett said. “A place we can all be naked without being sexual, and you’re going to tell us what’s going through that gorgeous brain of yours. Understood?”
“I’m fine. Promise.”
His growl tightened everything, and he lowered his voice. “Don’t lie to me, Ocean. We didn’t let you get away with it for the corset, and we’re not going to do it with this. Because a few minutes ago you came to us and were ready. You wanted us.”
I fought the emotion in my chest. “I still do.”
“That’s why we don’t want you panicking,” Micah said. “If you’re ready. If you’re really not, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“And don’t even think about telling me you’re not panicking right now. Do not lie again.” Everett's voice was nearly a growl.
I froze, my brain shuttering. Don’t lie, or else. So much rested in the words unsaid. Punishment. Of course. I needed to figure out what their rules were, and quickly. They were kind, but there was only so far I could push them.
“Ocean.” I focused on Micah’s face. He had me sitting up. When did that happen? His hands were on either side of my face. “Where did you go, princess?”
“I’m right here.”
“Your body is here, but your mind isn’t. What happened?”
I shook my head, but he didn’t let me, keeping me close and kissing me. Hard. The kiss brought me back. It slammed into me along with the taste of chocolate and caramel. Micah’s tongue ran along mine. I moaned into his mouth. This was what I wanted. More of that. I didn’t know how to ask and I didn’t know how to get out of my own head long enough to just let it happen.
“Bath’s ready,” Cameron called.
He was naked in the doorway to the bathroom. Fully naked. And walking toward me with determined steps, like I couldn’t see his cock and how thick it was between his legs. “Over the shoulder or normal? Your choice.”
The image of me thrown over his shoulder made me shudder. “Normal. But I can walk to the tub.”
“Nonsense.” Cameron picked me up again. “I don’t get to have my hands on you if you walk all on your own.”
Bathtub was an understatement. This tub was practically big enough to be a pool. Well, not quite. But it was huge and deep and had all the jets and bubbles. My bathroom had one too. It was more than big enough for the four of us, and already filled with water and bubbles.
Cameron carried me into the water with the lingerie still on, delicious heat enveloping us both. “I can’t remember the last time I took a bath,” I whispered. “I love them.”
“Then why don’t you take them?”
My cheeks flushed. “Most bathtubs aren’t big enough for me. It’s not fun when you’re half out of the water.”
He sat down with me on his lap. This was deep enough that the water came nearly to my shoulders. “How’s this?”
“This is good.”
Splashing echoed behind me, and then hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Ocean,” Everett said. “Was it what I said?”
“It’s fine. I don’t know why I had that reaction.” Frustration broke through. Now that we weren’t in the bed and I was surrounded by warmth and them I felt safer. I also felt embarrassed and silly. “I don’t know why I have any of these reactions. I’ve had a good life. I wasn’t abused. I shouldn’t be…” My hands dripped water as I gestured helplessly. “Whatever this is.”
Everett pulled me from Cameron, settling me across his lap. He also was very naked. The way his chest lined up with my back let me feel everything. I shuddered, this time in a good way.
“I’m a cranky bastard,” he said. “These two will back me up on that. I don’t like people in general, and I often speak before I think.”
Weaving our hands together, he crossed my own arms over each other so I was holding myself while he held me too. “Um, that’s good to know, I guess.”
He laughed and kissed just below my ear. “What I mean to say is, I don’t want you to lie to us. But I want the reason you don’t lie to be because you trust us. And you can trust us. Not because you’re afraid of us. I wasn’t thinking when I said that, and I’m sorry.” Everett squeezed me slowly, purring against my back. “Please forgive me, little nymph. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It shouldn’t scare me,” I said, huffing a breath with renewed frustration. “It’s my… I don’t know. My fucked up brain?” Then I shook my head. “This wasn’t what you signed up for when you married me. You said you wanted a real marriage, but I understand not wanting that because my brain refuses to cooperate. I’m not afraid of you.”
Micah stood in the center of the tub, bubbles melting across his chest. “I think I’ll have to disagree with your assessment of never being abused, princess.”
“They never hit me.”
“Just because someone didn’t lay hands on you doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse. And I would say what they did with that fucking corset is just as bad. Not to mention the way they speak about you. To you. In front of other people. And all we did was sign up to marry you. There weren’t any other conditions.”
I looked at the swirling surface of the water, moving with the invisible jets and creating currents that tickled my skin.
“Come here,” Micah said.
Everett released me so I could go to him. Slowly, Micah peeled the wet nightgown over my head and tossed it away. It didn’t feel strange to be in the tub with them like this. Because they couldn’t completely see me with the bubbles. It was safer.
“I know you’re not going to want to,” he said. “But I’d like you to tell us about your other experiences.”
“Why?”
Dragging his fingers up my sides, Micah didn’t flinch away from the heavy curves in my body. Didn’t emphasize them either. He was simply touching me. “Because you’re my wife. And I don’t want my wife thinking about someone else while I’m inside her. Especially if that person caused her pain.”
I smiled in spite of myself. “I’m not sure if that’s sweet or possessive.”
“Both.”
They had a point, and maybe if they knew they wouldn’t judge me for my fear. Besides, I already knew they weren’t going to let it go. I did want this. Want them. And if this helped? I wasn’t sure if it would, but I’d try anything at this point. I was so tired of being afraid.
“Um…” Just fucking say it, Ocean. Spit it out. “The person who took my virginity did it for a bet. I didn’t find out until afterward. His friends bet him he wouldn’t fuck the fat girl. And I was so enamored of him and the fact that someone like him would be interested in someone like me that I didn’t stop to question why.”
Micah had gone still, and where I could see Cameron in the corner of my eye, his face was pure rage. So I kept going, needing to get it all out quickly.
“The other one lasted longer, but it wasn’t me he really liked. He just liked big girls. He didn’t care about me , he cared about the fact that I could get him off. And it’s always like that. Taking a photo with a group of people and men not wanting to stand next to me because they don’t want to be seen with the fat girl. Laughing because Isolde and Trinity would insist that I be sent drinks too when we’re out together.” I sighed. “It’s just the way it is. That’s why I have a hard time believing that you actually… want me . ”
Before they could say anything, I kept going. “I do want you. I do want to trust you. I want to be with you while we’re together and enjoy it. But my mind keeps preparing for afterward when the good thing turns to more pain. I’m sorry.”
“I could kill anyone who’s made you feel like that,” Micah said quietly. “How can we show you? That we want you?”
I lowered my eyes. “Just don’t laugh at me after.”
“Fucking never.” Cameron pulled me away from Micah and spun me against the edge of the tub. “I’ll make you laugh until you’re crying, sweetheart. But I’ll never laugh at your expense. As for everything else? I love your body. I love that you’re soft where we’re hard. You smooth our edges and are a cushion where we’re rocks. Anyone would be crazy to think you’re anything but beautiful. And yes,” he whispered, lowering his mouth to mine. “I am attracted to women like you. We all are. But I promise we didn’t choose you because you checked a box for what we wanted in a body. We met you . Were attracted to you . Chose you .”
An arm snaked around my waist, and this time when Everett pulled me onto his lap, I was facing him. He arranged my knees on either side of his hips, and the hard length of him pressed against me. My eyes went wide, and he smiled. That ruthless, feral smile. “I certainly hope that feels like I want you, nymph.”
“Yes.”
He pulled me closer, brushing a kiss across my lips. A whisper, and vulnerability in his eyes I already knew him well enough to understand didn’t appear often. “You never said if you forgive me. The last thing I want you to be is scared of me. Everyone else can be scared of me, and they should be. But never you.”
“I forgive you,” I said the second before he kissed me. And not just kissed me. Devoured me.
One hand slid into my hair and gripped it, tilting my face deeper. He tasted so good, I wanted to devour him right back.
Everett’s other hand was low, slipping over my skin and downward. He nipped at my lips as he pulled back. “I would very much like to touch you.”
I smiled. “You weren’t already?”
He squeezed my hip and smirked. “I like when you come out to play.”
“I’m still nervous.”
“That’s okay,” Micah said from behind me. “We can work with that. Remember?”
“Yeah.”
Everett brushed his fingers along the edge of the underwear I still wore. “If we weren’t in the tub I’d be tempted to tear these off you. But I want to make sure you’re ready.”
My whole body flushed. Moving to get them off pushed my breasts directly into his face, and my body everywhere else. He didn’t let me go far, molding me to him wherever possible, even after I managed to get the scrap of fabric off and toss it with the nightgown on the bathroom floor.
“Do you want to know the plan?” He asked.
“There’s a plan?”
Cameron chuckled. “Everett always has a plan.”
Those same fingers were still moving over my hip, but now without fabric as a barrier, it emphasized that I was naked, and that I could feel his cock pressed against my thigh. I was breathless when I spoke. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan is to make my wife come.” His voice was low. “With my fingers. Then again, on one of our tongues. And after you’re pleasured and relaxed, I plan on taking you back to bed for the rest of it.”
“The rest of it?” I gasped as he moved his hand, easing it between my thighs. My nerves flared to life, aware of everything. The roundness of my body and just how much of me there was, but Everett had no trouble finding exactly what he wanted. His thumb brushed over my clit. Barely there. Just a touch, and yet it felt like a live wire.
Hands lifted the damp ends of my hair off my neck, and a kiss warmed the skin there. “Whether you believe it or not, sweetheart, we want you. And the rest of it means us showing you exactly that.”
Everett lifted one of my breasts out of the water and lifted it to his mouth. His eyes flicked to mine as my nipple disappeared between his lips. It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. My mind went blank. Every thought narrowed to the pleasure spiraling outward from his tongue.
“You know what’s excellent about where Everett is sitting?” Micah asked. He lounged next to us, watching us with a gaze full of heat.
I shook my head. Words were beyond me at the moment.
“The jets.”
Beneath me, Everett shifted, pushing his thighs—and therefore mine—wide. Water from the jet rose straight into me. Exactly where my clit met his fingers. Oh. Oh .
Releasing my breast, he pulled my mouth back to his, now toying with my clit as the jet gave me delicious, familiar pressure.
I was pretty sure every woman had gotten off like this at some point, whether in a hot tub or a shower head. There was something about the unrelenting insistence of those streams of water that helped. It dug deep and let you work yourself into it.
“Did you have this planned too?”
The corners of his mouth turned up. “Cam is right. I always have a plan.”
“Fuck.” My hips jerked into his hand, and I had to close my eyes because that position was so much better.
Everett circled my clit one more time before he moved his fingers, curling his hand around the stream of water and lower?—
He slipped inside me, fingers curling and seeking, gentle and insistent. And holy shit . That tiny spot they made toys for. The kind of toys I loved . He found that spot and brushed against it, making my hips jerk all over again.
I dropped my face to his neck with a moan. The scent of him made it all so much better. Deceptively soft until you caught the nuances. Pistachio swirled and was followed by the comfort of his almond. But sweet. Almost like almond frosting.
“Ride the water, little nymph,” he said. “Make yourself feel good on the outside, and I’ll help from the inside.” A harder thrust from his fingers that sent my eyes rolling back in my head, and my hips moving. I did what he said, chasing the pressure, moving my hips over that jet, and every time I moved, he moved, at once matching and colliding with me.
I clung to Everett’s shoulders, face still buried in his neck. The nerves had dissipated, my body now past the point of caring about anything but chasing that elusive pleasure. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d orgasmed. I’d been so busy there hadn’t been time to care, or I didn’t want to be reminded of what I couldn’t have.
It came up so quickly I almost missed it. Stealthy but strong, I shuddered through it, hips still moving and trying to drag out that pleasure. It was almost too much now, that stream of water, but it was also so good .
Everett gripped my hair and dragged my mouth to his again. This wasn’t a chaste kiss. His mouth opened mine, tongue claiming me just as thoroughly as his fingers just had.
“Now I have an entirely different reason to like baths,” I whispered.
“I have a feeling I’m going to want to take them more often,” he whispered, slowly easing his fingers out of me. And then he was moving me, and I was nearly dizzy as he placed me over the edge of the tub. “Now, for the next part.”
“Everett.” I pushed up, and a hand on my back kept me where I was. My hands were on the floor, and my ass was now above the water. “What are you doing?”
“Not me,” he said. “And we’re doing exactly what we promised.”
I didn’t have time to think about the position I was in or how it looked, because more hands were on me. Then lips. Then tongue.
And oh. Fuck.