29. American Mountain Ash
29
AMERICAN MOUNTAIN ASH
MEANING: WITH ME YOU ARE SAFE
OCEAN
________
I t was a beautiful day outside. The greenhouse wouldn’t be ready until later in the evening, so I told Sally to hold off. No point in disturbing the plants if they had nowhere to go. I had time.
Instead, I explored the mansion. Marcela found me turned around and introduced herself before pointing me in the right direction. She was older and sweet. At the same time, I could see an underlying sternness that was needed to run a place like this and possibly stand up to my husbands when they deserved it.
That made me smile.
They probably needed someone to stand up to them from time to time. In a playful way. The thought that I could be that person filled me with anxiety, but not the bad kind. Because I knew that these Alphas wouldn’t hurt me. I knew it deeper than my own name. I knew before the wedding too, but my fear had still been there. Now? Living with them and seeing them? They were safe.
I was safe.
The mansion had a gym and a small pool. No need for a gigantic one when the ocean was right outside. They had offices which looked like they were used regularly. Formal rooms like the Caruso Estate had, but this house was far less sprawling.
I liked the layout. There was a large courtyard in the center, drenched in sunlight, with grass, a fountain, and a tiled portion where you could sit and enjoy the sun without truly leaving the house. It was there that the greenhouse was being built, in the grassy section with the other plants.
That they wanted to build me one at all lit up that place in my chest that seemed to brighten whenever I was around them.
Even though I couldn’t work directly with my plants, and I didn’t want to see the nest until it was done, I still had work I needed to do for some clients. So I gathered my things and sat beneath an umbrella on the back terrace, looking out at the water.
Until my phone started buzzing so much it felt like the vibrations were constant. What the hell?
My screen was filled with notifications. Texts from Isolde and Rin, but also from people I hadn’t heard from in years . Tags on Entendre ’s social media accounts and mine.
Oh.
I clicked on the link Trinity sent me to the article that announced our marriage to the world.
THE DUPONT PACK MARRIES CALDWELL HEIR
A laugh escaped me. Laura and Frank would hate that. Good.
Our favorite billionaires have tied the knot! In a small but luxurious ceremony this past Saturday, the Duponts said ‘I do,’ to their Omega. Ocean Elise Correa Caldwell, daughter of the late Caldwell dynasty.
Their Omega. I loved that. If only it were true.
The rest of the article was fine. Not much substance, touching on all the business under their corporation. They mentioned my business and more about my parents, but it was fine. And the pictures were…
Some of them were beautiful. All of them were beautiful. But it didn’t make it easier to look at photos of me. The way I felt in my body and the way my body appeared didn’t always match up. Even when I felt gorgeous, a photo of me at the wrong angle could ruin everything. Even the memory.
Most of these were good. A couple weren’t great, but the majority I could look at without cringing, which was a relief. But there was one picture that stopped me in my tracks. It raised the hairs on my arms.
I remembered the moment. Right at the beginning of taking all the pictures. I’d felt so free and so happy, and the smile on my face proved that. Cameron had his arm around my waist. Micah stood on my other side, and Everett was behind him, staring at me. They all looked at me, locked in with matching smiles on their faces, and we all looked so fucking happy it leaked from the picture.
I saved it to my phone. That was one I would keep.
The end of the article came, and I scrolled down without thinking. Fuck. I knew this might happen, but knowing it and seeing it in front of your eyes was brutal.
That cow landed them? Must be for her money .
Well, no. They had more money than I’d ever dream of having. Even after I got my trust and the estate passed to me, my parents’ money didn’t hold a candle.
There’s no way this is fucking real. Not with a person who looks like that.
I think it’s sweet. Everyone deserves love. Hope she gets her shit together though and makes herself match her husbands.
I closed the article and shook my head, heavy uneasiness resting on my chest. It was fine. Those strangers didn’t know me, and they had no idea of the real circumstances. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t dealt with before. But…
This would be on a global scale. I didn’t think I’d realized how big it all would be.
Since I hadn’t posted anything to my socials, the comments weren’t on a post about the wedding, they were flooding my other pictures. Commenting on my body.
But there was another tag too. From Everett. From all of them, actually, but I clicked on Everett’s post. It was a picture I hadn’t seen yet. Of us during the ceremony and the moment he kissed me. Even in the photo, you could tell the kiss wasn’t chaste. He had me pressed up against his body, and I didn’t even remember that happening. All I remembered was that the kiss had been everything I wanted and needed, and this picture showed it.
The caption was two words.
My wife .
I didn’t bother to look at the comment on the post. They would be bad or good, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the post itself.
Should I post a picture on mine?
Hmm. I wasn’t a celebrity. I had some followers, but mostly just friends and acquaintances. Still, I was being tagged over and over again, and comments were coming in. If they were going to comment on my socials anyway, it would be easier to do it on a post that was actually relevant.
So I found the picture I’d just saved and uploaded it, following Everett’s lead.
My husbands .
There wasn’t much more to say.
Cam had posted him feeding me a bit of cake, and Micah chose the moment he put his ring on my finger. All of them were great.
The door to the house opened and Ruby came outside. I hadn’t seen her yet. “Hey, you’re here.”
“I’m here. Do you need anything?”
“I’m good for now. What do they have you doing here?”
She laughed. “Nothing except helping you.”
I stared. “What?”
With a shrug, she smiled. “They asked if I’d be willing to come with you, and I said yes. They’re paying me more than Frank and Laura ever did, and all I have to do is make sure you’re comfortable and have whatever you need. So consider me at your beck and call.”
“Wow.”
She suddenly looked unsure. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, you know me. I’m pretty low key, so you might be bored.”
Approaching the table, she gave me a look. We’d known each other long enough that we were casual with each other. “You’ve been low key because you’ve been forced to be low key, Ocean.” I began to protest, and she held out a hand. “I don’t think your true personality is super high maintenance, but there’s nothing wrong with asking for things. Especially when that’s my job. I’m happy to help with whatever you need. Whether it’s copying something for Entendre or grabbing you a bottle of water.”
I stared at her. “And you’re… okay with that?”
Back at the Caldwell Estate she’d been a catchall employee. She’d assisted the housekeeper and did what needed to be done, acting as Laura’s right-hand, kind of like she was describing.
Ruby was older than me. She hadn’t known my mother for long, but she’d just started working for our family when she passed.
“Yes,” she said, “I’m fine with it.”
“So if I told you to make sure my towels were warm?”
Ruby smirked. “I’d say I don’t have to because you have a towel warmer in your bathroom already, and the cleaning staff load it when they do laundry.”
“ What? Where? I took a shower already.”
“I’ll show you whenever you want. It looks like one of the cabinets, so I’m not shocked you missed it. This place is like a candy land of all the best things. I’m pretty sure there’s a switch to make the floor in your bathroom heated too. Oh, and those are in both of your bathrooms.”
The regular bathroom and the one in the hallway to the nest.
This was on a whole new level. I’d always been wealthy, but there was wealthy and then there was whatever the hell this was. Where there was a greenhouse being built in a day and an entire nest assembled just for me.
“How’s the nest coming?”
“Good. I think it will be done in an hour or so.”
That would be nice. I couldn’t wait to see it and curl up in it. A nest. A real one. “Thank you. I don’t need anything else right now.” She turned to walk away, and I had the thought. “Ruby?”
She turned back.
“Why did you stay? Working for Frank and Laura.”
“Your aunt didn’t turn into a poisonous bitch after your mother died. She was always like that, just muted. Your mom passing simply let her out of her cage. And though,” she shook her head and looked away, “though I couldn’t do nearly enough to protect you from her, I couldn’t leave you there with them alone.”
Awe and dread flowed into me in equal measure. “You stayed for me?”
“I tried to be the barrier for you as much as I could. It worked better when you were younger. Once you were an adult, I couldn’t make excuses in the same way. I’m sorry for that.”
I shoved everything in my hands onto the table and went to her, pulling her into a hug. “It is absolutely not your fault. I never knew that’s why you were there, and for whatever you did, thank you.”
“I’ll never understand the choices your parents made,” she said quietly. “Keeping you with Frank and Laura for so long. I doubt they imagined being gone so soon. But she wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone.”
Closing my eyes, I hugged her tighter. “Thank you.” When we broke apart, I laughed. “I wish I’d known. I would have told you to get the hell out of there and save yourself.”
“Which is why I stayed,” she said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “And I’ll stay as long as you want me to. Your husbands are very generous. My husband and I are grateful.”
Ruby was a Beta. I’d met her husband a handful of times, and he was a good man. She deserved that. “I appreciate it. And if you’re still here, I guess let me know when the nest is done. Otherwise I’ll be here doing some work.”
“I’m going to unpack some more of your things. They’re almost done.”
My mouth dropped open. “Have you been doing that all day?”
“Maybe.”
“Ruby.”
“Have fun with your flowers.” She slipped away before I could scold her. But honestly, it was nice to have someone who had my back. And I hated packing and unpacking. I needed to thank my husbands when they got home for getting her to come with me.
My phone still buzzed when I sat back down. I would need to change the settings on all my notifications if it was going to be like this. I hadn’t thought that it would get this much attention. Sure, the guys were famous because of their wealth, but they weren’t the kind of people who were followed. Not often, at least, according to Trinity.
There was that guy at brunch, but nothing else.
The phone rang. “Hello?”
“Is this Ocean Caldwell?”
Something about the man’s voice on the other end of the line made me pause. “Who’s asking?”
“This is Gary Hampton with the Sunset City Standard. I’m looking for Ocean to ask for a comment on her recent marriage to the DuPont pack.”
Shit. I hadn’t asked them what to say or how to handle this. “No comment.”
I hung up before he could say anything else, staring at the notifications filling up my screen. I tried not to absorb them, but it was hard not to. So many of them looked negative. Angry emojis and vomiting faces. Some seemed okay. Others talked about my parents.
Before I could second guess my thinking, I called Trinity. She answered quickly. “Hello, my beautiful friend. Are you calling to tell me I can do an exclusive with you and your pack for the magazine? Those photos are fucking stunning, by the way.”
“I was actually hoping you might give me some tips on how to dodge calls from reporters. Just got one from Sunset City Standard, and if they’re calling, there will be more. My phone is overflowing with notifications, and it’s overwhelming.”
“Yeah.” I practically heard her wince. “If it makes you feel better, I genuinely didn’t think the news would hit this hard. But with how beautiful the photos are, and you four being fucking adorable, it’s taking off like a rocket.”
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. “Not helpful, Rin.”
“Right. Well, your Alphas probably have someone in place for everything related to Public Relations already. You just have to talk to them, and they’ll help. Probably get a different number that’s private so you only take calls from the people you give it to. And for the love of god, don’t go on social media for a few days.”
“Too late. I don’t even know where to start with that.”
In the background, I heard papers shuffling on her desk. “Whatever they’re saying, O, it’s bullshit.”
“I know.” And I did know. But like everything else, it would creep in at the edges. “And I guess I’ll talk to the guys about a thing for the magazine.”
“I wasn’t serious about that. You’re going to get enough attention right now. If you ever want to do one? You know I’m game. I’ll make it all about you and your flower business and we’ll show the entire world what a badass you are. But until then, just try to hunker down and enjoy your pack.”
“Husbands,” I mumbled. “They’re not my Pack. You know this has a clock on it.”
“We’ll see. And it’s only been a couple of days. Way too early to be worrying about a clock.”
“Probably right.”
“I’m so sorry I have to go,” she said. “Text our group chat about lunch?”
I nodded. “Will do.”
There was already a voicemail, but I didn’t listen to it. I navigated back to their posts. Cam’s comment section was a mess.
Of course he’s feeding her cake. Makes sense. Probably ate the whole thing herself .
My stomach twisted. It was a strange kind of duality, knowing the comments meant nothing, and yet feeling the weight of them. These people didn’t know me, or Micah, Rett, and Cam. But they still felt like they could judge me in the same way that Laura had. In the same way most people did. And it was…
It was exhausting.
That’s what it was. I knew they didn’t matter, and it was easy to say that. But I was so tired knowing that even with friends who loved me, husbands who would protect me, and even employees who had my back, to the world I was still only one thing: fat.
For most everyone, that’s all I would ever be.
A fat girl who landed men she didn’t deserve. A fat woman whose size was her fault from eating everything in sight. Someone on their way to death with diabetes, because no one could be fat and healthy at the same time. A person who needed to be grateful for any and all attention because it was all she’d ever get.
I hadn’t noticed how long I’d been scrolling through the comments on all our posts when Ruby came back out. “They’re done and cleared out. So you can see it whenever you’re ready.”
“Thank you, Ruby.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t know how to voice what I was feeling, and what I needed was to be in a place that felt safe. “Thank you.”
She didn’t push it and let me gather my things and head inside alone.
My room was different. Ruby had unpacked things, and now my familiar trinkets were all over the space, making it seem more homey. I still wanted to redecorate a little, but this felt good.
The sliding door to the nest was open, and I crept down the hallway toward it. All the cushions that had been white were now in the jewel tones of blue and purple I’d chosen. There were a couple pops of jade and vibrant pink, but mostly the blues.
Shimmering lights now lined the ceiling, and a quick exploration found a little remote that controlled them. Piles of blankets in the same color scheme sat ready for me to arrange. Silky throw pillows. And in the glassed in area, the crystal light catchers I’d chosen, casting rainbows around the space.
It was beautiful.
Something in my chest settled.
Yeah. I needed this.
I left my phone on the dresser in my closet, where I couldn’t hear the incessant buzzing or be tempted to go down the rabbit hole of criticism that was the entire fucking internet.
Following pure instinct, I grabbed a pretty night dress that Ashley had picked out in a deep, forest green. It had no right being so comfortable. I needed to send her a bouquet of flowers after what she’d gone through with Laura.
The pile of blankets held one I couldn’t stop thinking about. A purple that matched the stone in my ring, but light enough that it was meant for comfort and not heat. I crawled into the cushions in the glassed in space and arranged pillows around me until I was entirely ensconced.
I watched the waves as the sun continued to fall toward the horizon.
Safe .