31. Prairie Gentian – Meaning Outgoing nature
31
PRAIRIE GENTIAN
(LISIANTHUS, TEXAS BLUEBELL)
MEANING: OUTGOING NATURE
OCEAN
________
T he line for Cream Dream, Clarity Coast premiere x-rated waffle store, was long. But it was all right, because Trinity was late, so it gave her a little time to get here.
Isolde’s pack was here too, dutifully waiting in line farther back so we could have time together. “You know I wouldn’t mind if they were waiting with us, right?”
She laughed and glanced back at them. “I know. But let’s be honest, if they were standing next to me I would be distracted, and they would be doing their best to distract me. Not that they’re not still trying to do that through our bonds.”
My gaze fell on the now-healed bites on her neck and shoulders, bared by her tank top. “What’s it like?”
“Overwhelming,” she admitted. “But at the same time, it’s incredible. Because you never have to guess the truth of what anyone is feeling. It’s there in your chest. It doesn’t make it easier if you fight, but it does help clear things up faster?”
I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Fighting already?”
“Honestly? No. But we’re still feeling our way around each other, and even the guys have to get used to feeling everything too. They can butt heads, but they make up fast.”
Longing welled up inside. I wanted that. The closeness and the simple knowledge that you belonged together. No matter what. Alphas and Omegas could bond even if they weren’t scent matched, but it wasn’t a guarantee in the same way a match was.
“You’re really lucky.”
Isolde put her arm around my shoulders. “I am, aren’t I? But I’m not the only one who can say that anymore.”
There was a push and pull inside of me. There was no way to believe I was only a convenience for my husbands. Not anymore. And not simply because they treated me better than almost everyone in my life. I believed they cared. But that didn’t mean it was forever. The reality was we’d agreed to a year.
Not even a week and I was already dreading it ending. The truth was, I had a desperate desire to grab this honeymoon with both hands and sink into them and their affection, but I was still terrified.
“Can I ask you something?”
Isolde looked over at me. “Of course.”
“When you finally made your choice to go to them and take that chance?—”
“You mean when you and Rin bullied me into it?”
“Yeah. That.” I laughed, swallowing. “Were you scared?”
She blew out a breath. “Fucking terrified. Because I thought it was going to end and I didn’t want to fall in love and go through that pain all over again when they left. Thank fuck it worked out better.”
I nodded. That was exactly what I felt. “So you’d do it again?”
There was a shift in Isolde’s eyes to one of understanding. “Yes. I would. And I think you should. Even if it doesn’t work out, take the happiness. Because looking back, even if everything had ended, knowing them and loving them would have been worth it.”
“I feel like it will break me,” I finally admitted. “They’re so great, and so much—” The words cut off, and I shook my head. “After everything else, I feel like loving them and losing them will break me in a way I can’t come back from.”
“Hi, hi, hi.” Trinity ran up to us. Her platinum hair was frazzled and wild, the sun glinting off the hand-chain bracelets she nearly always wore. “I’m sorry. This time it wasn’t work, and fuck .” She heaved in a breath. “I need people to stop getting surprise married, okay?”
Isolde and I stared at her. “Who’s getting married now?”
“My dad.” She rolled her eyes. “He decided to just throw it out there while we were meeting for a quick lunch. Like it was just another list of things on his to-do list and not an atomic bomb.”
I laughed. Not at her, but at the expression. “Honestly, I’m not shocked, Rin.”
Rin’s Beta father was a free spirit. He was always jetting off on adventures with half of a plan and even less of an idea. That he would get married again, and quickly, seemed fully in line with his character.
“I’m not either.” She rolled her eyes. “But I’d still like people to stop springing weddings on me.”
“When is it?” Isolde asked.
“I don’t know. Hopefully not for a couple of months. I just need things to take a breather for a minute.”
“Well,” I said, “if I’m in town, then you know I’ll be there.”
Trinity froze and looked at me with suspicion. “Why wouldn’t you be in town?”
I gave in and released my smile. “They’re taking me on a honeymoon, leaving this Friday. I’ve told them they don’t have to, but they want to, and I’m going to let them. Even though I’m terrified.”
“ Fuck . Yes .” She pulled me into a hug, jumping up and down. “This is going to be so good, O. You deserve it. Let those Alphas pamper the fuck out of you. And fuck the luxury into you. Either way, this is glorious . Don’t even think about my father’s wedding.”
The thing about Trinity was she never hid her enthusiasm for anything, and it was contagious. It all seemed so simple when she said it like this, and it made me relax into the idea. “Thank you.”
“I expect pictures. And at least one souvenir.”
“I can do that.”
She stared at me for a long moment, making sure I was serious before she grinned. “Good.”
Isolde touched me on the shoulder while Rin dug in her bag. “We won’t let you break, O. I promise. Do this for yourself, okay?”
My breath shook, but I nodded. “Okay.”
Trinity pulled out her little glucose monitor and pricked a finger to test her blood sugar. It beeped, and she swore under her breath before tossing it back in her purse and slipping the used test strip into the nearby trash can.
“What’s up?”
She scrunched up her nose. “Sugars are high today. So I’ll get something, but save it for later. I’ve been really good lately. I don’t want to push it too high for no reason.”
Fair. Trinity took care of her diabetes ruthlessly so that she could still live normally, be healthy, and have the treats everyone else had without damaging herself. Even if she cursed it sometimes.
A group exited the shop up ahead, letting the line move closer. The same group passed us, girls with cock waffles dripping with white and dark chocolate. The sight never got less funny. One of the reasons we loved coming here. That, and the waffles were excellent.
One of them looked at me and stopped. Then she came right over with a bright smile on her face. “You’re that girl, right?”
“I, um,” I swallowed. “I don’t know. Who do you think I am?”
“You’re that girl who married the DuPonts.” She fanned herself. “They’re so fucking hot.”
Tension gathered in my chest. “Yeah. That’s me.”
She grinned. “I knew it.”
Some other people looked over at us, because she wasn’t exactly being subtle. But no one seemed to catch on. Small favors.
Was this something I had to worry about now? I didn’t think I needed to, even with the press attention. Most of my life I’d been invisible. People didn’t look at you when you were my size. Their eyes slid over you to your more attractive friends. To someone more interesting or less offensive to look at.
Being noticed was different.
One of her friends who overheard stepped up next to her and looked at me. She didn’t have nearly the same joyous, happy look as her friend. “Why are you here?”
Isolde took the question for me with a laugh and jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Cream Dream. “We love the waffles, same as you, it seems.”
The girl frowned, flipping her gaze between me and the store behind me. “Don’t you think you should skip it?”
Rin’s head snapped over so fast I thought she might break her neck. She stepped in front of me, but she didn’t even get anything out before the first girl’s mouth dropped in shock. “Connie, what the fuck?”
“What? You said it yourself. She just married some of the hottest Alphas on the planet. Seems like she’s the only one getting the good part of the deal.”
My friends and girl number one weren’t the only ones staring at her in horror. The entire group looked at their friend like she just grew a second head.
“Listen,” Trinity said, stepping forward. “First?—”
I put a hand on her arm and shook my head. “It’s not worth it, Rin. This is probably how it’s going to be now.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to sit by and take it. Neither should you.”
Smiling sadly, I just shrugged. “If I fought every person who thought that, I’d never get anything done.”
The new phone Everett ordered for me arrived this morning. Before they left for work, they sat in the kitchen with me, on the phone with a new public relations woman, Clara, they hired specifically for me. We made new, safer passwords for my accounts that only the five of us would have, and she would do the work of cleaning up the spaces we had control over.
I hadn’t thought it was worth the effort, but one look from Everett made me think otherwise. After that, we turned off my notifications, and an invisible weight slid off my shoulders. Until that moment, it hadn’t struck me just how heavy that weight was.
It was going to happen. I couldn’t stop that unless I became an entirely different person, and that, I couldn’t do. My whole life had been a parade of diets and trying to fight my body’s inclination to be large. I was healthy. Healthier than plenty of people in my life. My body was just big, and a few years ago I finally stopped doing things that were only going to make me miserable and focused on only that: my health. If that was okay, then I could make peace with the rest of it.
Or at least, I could try. I wasn’t quite there yet.
The first girl who approached me looked at her friend with a face full of disgust. “Yeah, that’s not okay. Find your own way home. You’re not riding in my car if you’re going to get that attitude all over my leather seats.”
The incredulous expression on Connie’s face was priceless. “You’re going to strand me here because I’m telling the truth?”
If it’s the truth, then why did they marry me in the first place? I wanted to ask out loud, but I didn’t. Over the last few days they’d drummed it into me enough. They wanted me. It didn’t mean they wanted me forever , but they did want me. They chose me.
“No.” The girl snorted. “I’m stranding you ‘cause you’re a bitch, and I’m not going to be friends with someone like that.” She came to me and smiled. “I’m sorry about that. I thought your wedding photos were beautiful, and I hope you guys are really happy.”
“Thank you.”
She glanced at Connie one last time as she returned to the group of women. “Bye, bitch.”
I almost felt bad for the way Connie wilted as the people who had been her friends left.
Almost.
The line moved forward again, and even though there were more curious glances toward us, it didn’t spiral out of control. Thankfully.
“Look at that. I didn’t even have to get my hands dirty,” Trinity said.
“It’s good to know not everyone thinks they’re slumming it with me,” I whispered.
Isolde looped her arm through mine. “I would say the majority don’t. The assholes just have a bad habit of being the loudest people in the room.”
“Truth,” Rin said. “There are half a dozen examples I could give you from work alone.”
“Everything okay, princess?”
That voice didn’t belong to my Alpha. It belonged to Isolde’s Beta, Cade, who frankly should be an Alpha with the presence he had. The two of us shared a look at the nickname. Now that I understood what it meant to be called that, her blush made total sense.
“Yeah,” she said, separating from me long enough to lean into his side and accept the kiss on her temple. “Someone being a bitch to Ocean, but thankfully, the bitch’s friends took care of it.”
Cade looked at me. “You all right?”
“I’ll be fine.”
He looked at me the way Everett looked at me. Like he saw too much and wasn’t quite ready to accept the answer. But he nodded before turning back to Isolde. One of his hands gripped her hair as he kissed her. Soft and slow and…
I knew what that felt like now.
“Enjoy your waffle, princess. The five of us decided we need some studio time later.”
My friend gasped softly. “Really?”
“What do you think about that?”
She smiled up at him like he was the only thing in the world, and he did the same. It was beautiful. Her hands curled into his t-shirt. “Yes, Sir.”
Cade flicked her nose playfully before he whispered something in her ear neither Rin nor I could hear. But by the way Isolde turned redder than her hair, it wasn’t meant for us.
Retreating back to her pack, he left us alone.
“You good?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yup.” Her voice was hoarse. “Fine.”
Trinity leaned on me with a heavy sigh. “Promise you won’t leave me even though you both are in the middle of your happily ever afters.”
I didn’t protest and say it wasn’t going to happen. Because, for the moment, I was going to ignore my fear. In three days we were going on our honeymoon, and I was going to fucking enjoy it.
“Only for the honeymoon,” I said. “Then I’ll be back.”
“Perfect. Now, you should order two waffles just to spite that woman, and you need to tell us everything.”
I glanced between my friends. “Everything?”
“Everything,” Isolde confirmed. “As much as you’re comfortable with.”
Making sure no one else in line could hear me, I told them everything.
Mostly.