42. Cowslip – Meaning Divinity divine beauty, you are my divinity
42
COWSLIP
(MAD VIOLETS, SHOOTING STARS)
MEANING: DIVINITY; DIVINE BEAUTY, YOU ARE MY DIVINITY
OCEAN
________
E verett consumed me like a starving man. It was the first time his mouth had touched me, and he held nothing back. The way his hands gripped my hips and ass, feasting .
There was nothing but him. No doubts and no more hesitation. Only him.
Alpha.
And me.
Omega.
I shuddered, pleasure sweeping up over me in a wave that had my fingers gripping ancient stone and offering prayers I didn’t remember knowing.
Everett groaned with me, fucking me with his tongue through that pleasure and leaving me spent, but not alone. He’d barely stepped away for seconds when I felt the relief of his skin on mine, the curve of his cock entering and his piercing finding the spot that made the very air sing.
His hands came down on mine on the altar, pinning me in place. I was so full of him and trapped by him in the most carnal way possible. Teeth scraped over the point of my pulse with a delicious threat. An Alpha teasing an Omega with the bite that meant forever.
“You see what you do to me?” He growled in my ear. “You turn me into a madman, Ocean. Not just anyone. You . Your body.” He thrust me into the altar, emphasizing the hardness of his body and the softness of mine. “Your scent. Fuck .”
I whined, the sound desperate. All I wanted was more of him, because this was everything. It was a sacrifice of a sort. Offering my fears and insecurities and letting them untangle from my soul while Everett fucked them out of me.
They wouldn’t go away. They were twisted too deeply for that. But I felt the shift. A loosening of a knot so deep I’d never been able to reach it. And maybe I never would have. Maybe it was too far on my own. Someone had to hold on to me and let me know they would pull me back before I fell.
That was what it took to touch that knot of pain and shame and everything else.
Someone else finding beauty in the things the rest of the world had painted with black and rot.
Three someones.
Everett’s piercing hit me deep, and I came. It felt like a breath of mountain air. Like waking up and feeling whole.
“On the altar, goddess.”
If I was a goddess, then he was the god he’d looked like before. He knelt above me, staring down where I was wrecked and ruined and perfect.
I hadn’t quite made it to my back, and he didn’t care, lifting a leg over his shoulder to plunge into me once more. This time deeper.
“Holy shit.” I tried to hold on and barely could.
Everett’s body slapped against mine, every punishing thrust bottoming out inside me. I could do nothing but take it.
Be worshipped .
His eyes devoured me as he took me, showing me exactly what he meant when he told me he liked the way my body moved. There was no shame in this. No embarrassment. Not when my husband’s eyes looked like they glowed with the fire of the gods themselves and he’d set the world ablaze with it if he could just keep looking at me.
“One more,” he breathed, muscles straining. Sweat lined his body and made him shine in the sun.
He was utterly fucking glorious.
“One more before I offer you my knot, goddess.”
Everett moved, flipping me the rest of the way to my back and letting a hand fall to my throat while the other curled my leg around his body to keep me close. And he didn’t stop, didn’t stop, didn’t stop .
I held onto his forearm like it was a lifeline. My eyes fluttered closed, and I surrendered to the rising pleasure beneath my skin and the feeling of being the center of someone’s world. At the center of the ancient world.
Something raw and primal opened within at being taken like an offering and worshipped like a deity. Yielding power and gaining peace. The orgasm that swam behind my eyes would kill me. I was sure of it. Tear me apart from myself and I wouldn’t come back the same.
Relief dropped over me.
Good .
Everett’s voice was nothing but a breath in my ear. “Come for me, goddess.”
I did.
My screams bounced off the ruins, coming back in shattered echoes. Pure pleasure. Golden, shining, perfect.
My body bowed off the altar into his. Pleasure and pressure. So much I couldn’t breathe. It was too much. I was going to pass out because it kept fucking building.
How did it keep building?
Rett came too, his own cries joining mine, knot swelling inside me so fast it shocked us both. He couldn’t stop moving, and neither could I, aftershocks still driving us to thrust against each other and savor those electric ripples that followed being knotted and claimed.
We stared at each other until we could breathe normally. I didn’t remember when he’d released my throat, but those strong arms braced above my shoulders now, stretching his lean body above mine. Pressed it into me.
Finally, when we could breathe without gasping, he smiled before he kissed me.
“Did you have this planned?” I asked.
“No, actually.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I stroked my hands over his shoulders, enjoying the feeling of his knot, and the way his piercing was still pressed exactly where I needed it because of it. “Then what made you?—”
“Made me want to fuck my wife?”
Rolling my eyes, I scraped my nails along his ribs purely to see the spark in his eyes. “Made you want to fuck your wife by breaking probably a lot of laws.”
“You laughed when I called you a goddess,” he said simply.
I frowned. “Why would that be the thing that did it?”
“Because it’s not about the nickname.”
My hands kept traveling because I couldn’t stop touching him. “I don’t understand.”
“Your default is self-deprecation,” Everett said quietly. “And it’s not always bad. We all do it as a joke. But it’s not a joke for you, little nymph. I see it in your eyes. You believe those things, and I hate it. One day I hope I can call you a goddess and have you understand that I’m not saying it because it’s silly. Or think that you’re less deserving of it than another woman simply because you were born with a body that’s bigger than others.
“And what better way to show you that I believe the words I’m saying than illustrating them in the place where a goddess was once worshipped?” His gaze dropped to my mouth.
I had no idea what to say. Fresh tears glossed over my eyes as he kissed me. Thoroughly.
“I’m sorry this world is cruel to you, Ocean. But any time it is, let me remind you how worthy you are.”
A laugh hiccuped through a sob. “Keep saying things like that and I’ll be a mess.”
“I’ll happily clean up your mess with my tongue.”
I swatted him on the arm before he kissed me again.
And kissed me and kissed me and kissed me until his knot eased and we came apart, though I didn’t want to.
Everett didn’t let me put my underwear back on, wanting me naked beneath the dress, and it felt right. He tossed them in a trash can on the way back down the hill, making me laugh.
His hand never strayed from mine as we left. We didn’t speak. We didn’t have to.
I understood now why people came to this place and offered things. No matter if the gods these ancient people worshipped were real, it wasn’t about that. It was about the offering. Walking up to an altar as one person and walking away as another.
Before and after.
Closing my eyes, I rooted the sensation in my mind and my memory. My husbands would never let me go back to before .
Just like them. There would always be a before and an after, and I could never go back.