Chapter 10 Elizabeth
Elizabeth
Elizabeth walked along the Serpentine, her hand on Mr Darcy’s arm, feeling as much delight as she had ever felt in her life.
She could somehow feel the thrum of her suitor’s happiness through the layers of cloth between her hand and his arm, and she revelled in his joyous smile and his elusive dimples now conspicuously on display.
She was particularly glad to see her sweet eldest niece and mischievous younger niece and nephew playing with Miss Darcy.
(Oh! Miss Darcy had asked Elizabeth to call her Georgiana.) The children were making paper boats and sailing them on the lake, and Georgiana helped when asked but mostly cheered them on.
Aunt Maddie looked as happy as could be, as well.
“Your sister is everything wonderful,” Elizabeth said to Mr Darcy.
“I love to hear such praise,” he replied.
She always seemed to be able to feel Mr Darcy’s gaze when it was aimed at her—which, to be honest, was much of the time.
She supposed that what she sensed was actually the slight turn of his head so he could look down at her, but she felt as if his eyes upon her conferred an actual warming of her skin.
Laughing, she realised that many, many times his gaze made her blush, and that was the heat she felt.
“I seem to blush quite often when I am with you, sir,” she said with a playfully stern tone.
“I wish that I could apologise, but I love seeing your blushes.” After saying what Elizabeth considered quite flirtatious words, Mr Darcy blushed quite deeply himself, and she laughed again, allowing her peal of laughter free rein because they were out of doors.
“Do you know that one thing I love about you is that you are willing to laugh?” Mr Darcy asked.
Elizabeth shivered at his use of the word love in regards to her. But she teased herself for her response, remembering that loving something about a person did not necessitate loving the person as a whole, let alone being in love with that person.
“Do not ladies of the ton laugh? My friends do,” she protested.
“In mixed company, I imagine that even your delightful friends laugh less than they do when they are with you alone or you and a few other ladies. As for balls and routs and soirees, it seems to me that nobody really laughs at all, although I do hear a few titters here and there.”
One of the two ladies walking slowly on the nearby gravel path cast a disdainful look towards Elizabeth. Then both ladies giggled, looking at Mr Darcy with fans partly covering their faces; they drew their fans downwards a moment later so he could see their coy smiles.
Except he actually could not see their coy smiles, because he was still gazing affectionately at Elizabeth.
She had already been in a mood to laugh, and seeing the blatant and unsuccessful flirtation directed at a man who already had a woman on his arm made her laugh again.
At the sound, the two women both looked surprised, forgetting to look sophisticated and unaffected for a fraction of a second.
Then narrowed eyes changed their expressions of surprise to disgust. She heard muttering that she imagined was less than complimentary of herself, and she almost laughed again, it was all silly, but she did not actually wish to be as unkind to the women as they were to her.
Mr Darcy seemed quite oblivious of the women’s existence, and he asked, “What has tickled your sense of humour this time?”
“I have been contemplating the fact that you are correct, as usual, regarding laughter and tittering.”
He scrunched his nose, an adorable picture of confusion, but he continued to stroll and escort and dimple down at Elizabeth.
“I am glad to see my sister relaxing with you and your aunt, and having fun with the Gardiner children. I know she will continue to benefit from knowing you, as I have.”
“I am glad.”
Mr Darcy stopped walking and turned to look at her.
His smile became hesitant, as if he was not certain he should speak, but his eyes seemed to burn with intensity.
He said, “Miss Bennet, I know that we have known each other less than a fortnight, and that you are still young, but I wish to take the next step in our relationship. I am in love with you, and I admire you; I wish to always be with you, and I have never felt even a thousandth of what I feel for you with any other woman. I wish to court you publicly. Of course you know that my eventual goal is marriage, and I feel strongly that all of our loved ones would wish us to know one another longer than a fortnight before becoming engaged, but I wish to escort you to events, maybe even to balls and other sorts of events you have avoided until now. How do you feel about these things?”
Elizabeth almost felt faint. Just a minute before, she had been arguing with herself about his casual use of the word love, but now he had declared himself. She looked up into his face, and when she swayed slightly, she thought she really might faint. She took his arm again to stay upright.
Mr Darcy calmly moved to hold her steady with both hands supporting her upper arms. “Are you well?” he asked.
She gave a shaky laugh. “I am overcome with your words. All of this between us has happened very quickly, but I knew the first night of our acquaintance that there could be no other human on earth who would be more interesting to me. And every day since you have proved your character and grown ever more dear.”
He smiled more brightly at her words, but as she continued, his smile blinked out. She said, “However, I do have one matter that brings me anxiety.”
“Please tell me, that I might offer relief.”
“Everyone has faults, and it worries me that I cannot discover any in you.” She laughed and said, “You cannot be as perfect as you seem.”
He relaxed again, even chuckled. “Some have said I am haughty and unfriendly.”
“At times I have seen you put on a mask, usually when someone you do not know enters the room. I imagine that mask might be considered arrogance rather than reticence, antipathy rather than discomfort. However, I have seen the mask fall away when I made you feel more comfortable again. Shyness is not a fault.”
“I do wish that I could be more at ease in company. Like you…and Richard. You both know how to warm a room, speaking to people you have just met as if they were close cousins or dear neighbours, entertaining all with your stories and opinions.”
“If everybody wished to speak as much as Richard and I do, we would all be speaking at one another, and nobody would be listening.”
Mr Darcy chuckled again. “I see why you say I have no faults: every time I bring up a fault, you wave it away with pretty explanations and merciful exonerations.”
Elizabeth cocked her head, considering. Finally she said, “I happen to like you exactly as you are.”
His face lost its smile and stilled. His eyes became darker than ever. He seemed to struggle to speak, perhaps even to swallow. He finally said, “And I like you as you are.”
“I will try to help you feel more comfortable in groups of people, sir. But I do not need you to become something you are not.”
“Thank you. As to faults, aside from my reticence, which you claim is no fault, I would contend that pride is my likeliest pitfall.”
“And I would contend that pride can be a sin, but it often is more virtue than sin. For example, it is a virtue that you are very proud of your estate and your sister, and even your pride in your own successful efforts as master is virtuous.”
“If pride leads to lying, cheating, or stealing in order to maintain one’s image….”
“It is then a sin, of course. But you cannot pretend that you have so transgressed.”
“I have not. However, if pride leads to selfishness and self-indulgence, I would say that it becomes a sin then as well. And though you may not have seen this, I believe I have been guilty of this form of pride from time to time. I hope you will always wish to tell me if you sense this kind of error in me.”
“I would be happy to do so. Also, I have decided that I would be happy to accept your escort to balls and other events.”
“You are certain? People may assume that we have an understanding, and other suitors may stop coming. I do not wish to rush you.”
“I am certain.”
“Should I ride to Longbourn to meet your father? Or will your uncle’s consent suffice?”
“My uncle has authority over me while I remain in his house, and my father would endlessly tease you and never quite signal whether he approves of you. Let us discuss things with my uncle.”
He nodded. “We might also look through invitations I have received and perhaps consult both of our aunts for advice about where we might appear together. I know it is selfish of me, but I would like it if all of society knew you are spoken for, and thus I would not have to keep facing a new man who wishes to impress you every time I call on you.”
Elizabeth grinned and suggested, “Should you just put a sign outside of my uncle’s house, perhaps, with the word claimed?”
“Am I acting as a possessive monster?”
“No, not at all,” Elizabeth reassured him. “It has been difficult for me to so frequently disappoint people. I should love people to know of our…our understanding.”
“Does it help you to feel better if I remind you that every time you disappoint a would-be-suitor, I begin to breathe again?”
“Oh, my! That little bit of exaggeration was worthy of the colonel!”
Mr Darcy actually threw his head back in laughter. And even though they were in a park, where children played and one would hope that people of all ages might have fun, every adult within hearing range turned to look at him, whether in surprise or disapproval was uncertain.
Elizabeth thought, Let them disapprove. I dearly love to laugh, and it is obvious that Mr Darcy does as well.